It was just past eight o’clock in the morning and I’d slipped out of Wild Rose Cottage before Grace was awake. I’d had a restless night, knowing that Mum was arriving today and I hadn’t told Grandie yet. I’d promised Connie I would do it first thing this morning and time was ticking. It had been a hell of a couple of days and in need of some fresh air, I grabbed my coat and headed towards the fields at the back of Honeysuckle Farm for a brisk walk. An aeroplane soared through the clouds above and I knew Mum would be on her flight and Connie would be on her way to the airport. It was only a matter of time before I knew how all this was going to pan out, and at Honeysuckle Farm it felt as though everything was closing in and was about to buckle underneath me at any given time. I didn’t like the uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach that I’d no control over.
With the early morning sun shining on my face, I followed the stream and glanced towards the church, its steeple towering above the top of the hill. The view was breath-taking and stretched out for miles. As a child, I remembered Grandie and Mum had taken me to the church a couple of times. After the service, I’d sat on the bench with Mum while Grandie had tended to a grave. The memory was hazy, as I’d only been small. Then a thought struck me: it must have been Grandma’s grave. Having the sudden urge to find it, I powered my legs through the long grass and soon arrived at the entrance of the church. The graveyard was well maintained with bursts of colour sprouting from every aluminium pot standing in front of the headstones. The grass was neatly mowed and there were benches sporadically dotted around the paths. I remembered I’d been sat on a bench near the back of the churchyard by an old oak tree. Feeling the tears well up, I sauntered towards it. My plan was to search for Grandma’s headstone from the far end, then walk horizontally across each row until I stumbled across it. If Grandma was here, then surely I would find her.
There were two figures in the distance, a man stooped over a gravestone clutching a small bouquet of flowers. He arranged them in the vase at the foot of the headstone.
There was an aching familiarity about him and my heart began thudding inside my chest and goosebumps prickled my skin when I recognised Grandie. Connie was standing by his side. I didn’t understand why Connie was here. Shouldn’t she be on her way to the airport to pick up Mum? Their heads were bent low and Connie’s hand was resting on the small of Grandie’s back. I was puzzled, had Mum changed her mind? Was she not arriving today? I went hot and cold in rapid succession and, not knowing what to do, I slid on to a nearby bench and watched them both, until they turned and slowly walked towards me.
‘Hi,’ I said, as they approached. My voice must have startled them.
Connie looked at me, followed by Grandie. His eyes were watery, he was visibly upset.
‘I’m surprised to see you here,’ I said, my eyes searching Connie’s for answers.
‘Jim’s running an errand for me this morning.’ She gave me a look and I read between the lines. He must have gone to the airport to pick up Mum. ‘So I could accompany Ted here today.’
‘Are you okay?’ I asked, not really understanding what was going on. Grandie looked like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders.
With a slight hesitation, he spoke. ‘Alice, why are you here?’
For a split second I debated what to say. ‘I’ve never visited Grandma’s grave, and something was telling me to come. I’m sorry, maybe I should have spoken to you about it first.’
He gave me a loving smile before Connie patted his arm. ‘You two need to talk. I’ll be over there,’ she said. ‘Give me a shout when you’re ready to go.’ We watched Connie trail off towards the entrance of the church. ‘Shall we sit?’ I offered.
Grandie nodded and I helped to steady him on to the bench.
‘Is it Grandma you’re visiting?’ I asked tentatively.
‘Yes,’ he replied, ‘today …’ he took my hand and held it tight, ‘is our anniversary. We got married in this church.’ He took a fleeting glance towards the steeple. ‘People always say it’s the best day of your life and I can’t argue with that.’ His voice quivered. ‘I really wish things could have been different.’
‘Me too, I would have loved to meet her.’
‘Come on,’ he said, pushing himself up by his walking stick, ‘I’ll show you where she is.’
We walked slowly in silence towards the spot where Grandie had been standing minutes earlier. He stopped and gestured to the well-kept grave, ‘Here she is.’ He smiled fondly towards the headstone.
Sadness crept through the whole of my body and my eyes shimmered with tears.
In Loving Memory of Florrie Rose Parker
Beloved wife of Ted Parker
Treasured mother of Rose Parker
He eased his hand into mine, ‘I do miss her, you know. I miss them both.’ His eyes slid briefly from mine and he gently let go of my hand.
I swallowed down a lump, ‘Both? Do you mean Mum as well?’
He didn’t answer.
‘Talk to me, Grandie.’ The frustration in my voice was loud and clear.
‘I’m feeling tired,’ he replied, ‘let’s head back to the farm.’
I exhaled. As much as I loved the stubborn old man, I was beginning to tire of being kept in the dark.
He turned and slowly walked towards Connie, who was waiting at the gate of the churchyard in the car.
I felt so exasperated about the whole situation. Mum and Grandie were both as obstinate as each other, holding on to their grudge because of their pride.
Connie drove us back to Honeysuckle Farm and the second the front door opened we were greeted by Marley, excitedly wagging his tail and padding around us in circles. Connie made haste into the kitchen to make tea but not before insisting I now tell Grandie of Mum’s imminent arrival.
Scared, I caught sight of my deflated face reflecting back from the hallway mirror, then followed Grandie into the living room. We sat facing each other, Grandie in his favourite chair and I settled on the sofa, crossed-legged like I always used to sit when I was a little girl. I was fearful, an uneasy feeling swathed me. The mood was sombre and I knew that before I came clean I was going to press him once more for answers. His breathing was shallow and neither of us spoke for a moment. Then, taking a deep breath, I broke the silence.
‘Just then, in the churchyard … did you mean Mum?’ I probed softly. ‘You must miss her, tell me you miss her.’
He pressed a hand to his chest and his gaze fell to the floor.
‘Of course I miss her. I’ve always missed her.’
This was the first time he’d admitted it to me, and I felt a sense of relief wash over me. Maybe there was a chance this could all be fixed?
Taking the plunge, I continued, ‘There’s something I need to say, Grandie.’
He looked up, ‘What is it, Alice?’
‘There’s something inside me telling me it’s the right thing for me to stay, here, in England. You have given me the most fantastic opportunity, and this place … this place is my home.’
His eyes lit up.
‘But … like I’ve said before, I want Mum to come into the business with me, to move back to England and run the school like she used to.’
Grandie’s face drooped and he remained silent.
‘She’s my mum,’ I said nervously. ‘How can I possibly choose between the two of you? I love you both, surely you understand that.’
I noticed a tear roll down his face.
‘I’m sorry, I don’t want you to be upset,’ I said softly and I really didn’t, ‘but I know you can see the predicament I’m in. I need to offer this chance to Mum with your blessing, and then it’s up to her if she accepts.’
Deep down, I think he knew that this would be the case.
Panic swelled inside me at the pain. My heart was thundering in my chest and I could barely breathe, waiting for him to answer.
He dabbed his watery eyes again. He looked fragile, exhausted – had I pushed him too far? I could feel it inside, he was on the brink of telling me, I knew he wanted to tell me.
‘What’s going on?’ I asked wearily. I was tired by this whole situation. ‘Everything seems to be shrouded in secrecy and I think I’m the cause of it all.’
His eyes locked with mine, ‘Dear Alice, you aren’t the cause of anything. You have to believe me.’
I swallowed down a lump in my throat. ‘I’m no detective, but I know that people fall out over either money or love. I know I asked the other day, but did your falling out have anything to do with my father?’ It was the only thing that made any sense to me. ‘Because I think I’ve found him.’
‘You’ve found William?’
‘On Facebook, Mum is friends with a William Hall. It may be a coincidence … but …’
‘And what have you done about it?’
‘Nothing … as yet.’ But it was on my list of things to discuss with Mum sometime in the next twenty-four hours.
‘This situation had nothing to do with William. If only he’d been around, things may have been a lot different for your mum.’
I took the plunge, ‘Grandie, she’s coming back.’ There – the words were out in the open.
Connie must have been listening, as she appeared at the door with a pot of tea which she placed on the table before slipping on to the settee next to me.
‘Rose … she’s coming home?’
‘Yes.’
His eyes lifted towards mine, ‘When?’
‘Today,’ I said, my entire body shaking.
For a second there was silence in the room until Grandie began to weep.
‘Here, have some tea,’ said Connie, pouring a mug.
‘Whiskey, I want whiskey,’ he said, dabbing his eyes with his hanky.
Even though it was only just nine o’clock in the morning Connie didn’t argue and hurried over to the decanter on the other side of the room.
Grandie took the glass from her, he didn’t look at either of us but swirled the amber liquid in the glass and sniffed it, before taking a huge swig. Then he closed his eyes and rested his head on the back of the chair.
‘Grandie, talk to me, I don’t know what to do.’ I felt helpless, the same feeling I’d felt as a little girl watching them argue. ‘Shall we leave you alone?’ I asked. It was breaking my heart watching him weep, and it was all my doing. Maybe I should have left well alone.
‘Stay,’ he’d lowered his voice to a whisper, ‘both of you stay.’ He slowly opened his eyes and gestured for Connie to sit back down.
‘It’s time,’ he said, ‘it’s time you knew the truth – or my version of events, at least.’
As soon as Grandie said those words my throat became tight and I blinked back the tears. My lips trembled, and my hands were visibly shaking.
The adrenalin pumped through my body as I held my breath.