CHAPTER SIXTEEN
A little while later, Zak walks over to Sylvia’s house and I fall gratefully into bed.
My head is all over the place after listening to Zak’s startling revelations but that doesn’t stop me falling into a deep sleep as soon as I put out the light.
Next morning, Maisie is awake early. I hear her chattering away to Beth in the kitchen as I surface. The fridge opens and closes. Spoons clink against crockery. Beth must be giving Maisie her breakfast.
I lie there for a while thinking about Zak’s desperately sad story. When he lost Lexi, he lost Maisie as well. How heart-breaking is that? It’s no wonder Zak Chamberlain has always seemed to me to be a man with the weight of the world on his shoulders . . .
I’m just coming out of the shower when Zak returns. Maisie whoops with delight and runs into his arms, and it’s so clear from the broad smile on Zak’s face that this little being is his whole world. How on earth does he cope not being able to see her every day?
If I had a child, I’d never want to be separated from them for a day – never mind weeks at a stretch. I have a feeling Zak limits the time he spends with Maisie because he doesn’t want her getting confused about where she belongs; where her home is. But how he manages to do that is beyond me. It must take such enormous self-control.
He meets my eyes over Maisie’s head and gives me a smile that acknowledges our in-depth discussion of the night before. He’s holding his daughter so close, my heart clenches painfully.
‘How’s Sylvia?’ I ask.
He smiles. ‘She’s much better. Sitting up in bed and planning what she’s going to bake this week for the café.’
‘Already?’ I stare at him, horrified.
He shakes his head. ‘Gran – that’s her sister, Agatha - is trying to persuade her to go back with her to Bournemouth for a while to convalesce. She’s adamant she’s fine and we should stop fussing, but if we all keep saying what a wonderful idea it is, hopefully she’ll eventually agree.’
‘Good idea,’ I say fervently. ‘She needs some rest before she thinks of coming back to the café.’
He nods. ‘She hates the idea of the café being shut for weeks. That’s probably the only thing that’s stopping her heading off for a bit of English Riviera sunshine. But I’m sure we’ll be able to convince her.’
‘Fancy coming for a walk?’ Zak asks, as we wave Beth off after breakfast.
‘Oh, no.’ I frown, not wanting to intrude on their precious time together. ‘I’m fine. You two go off and enjoy yourselves.’
‘But we’re going to feed the ducks,’ Maisie announces. ‘You have to come with us to feed the ducks.’
Zak grins. ‘There you go. Couldn’t have put it better myself.’
‘Well, if you don’t mind.’
‘We don’t mind, do we, Daddy?’
Zak shakes his head with a fond smile. ‘Of course not. In fact, we’d love the company.’
It’s a beautiful day, so we set off after making sandwiches for a picnic and raiding the fridge for stale bread to keep the ducks happy. Maisie runs down to the pond, with the two of us racing to keep up in case she goes headlong into the water.
After feeding the ducks, we take her to the swing park at the other end of the village green and she walks between us, holding our hands. At one point, I glance surreptitiously at Zak and he’s looking across at me, an intense look in his eyes. We give each other an awkward little smile and my heart soars. I’m in grave danger of getting hurt here. But I’m having too lovely a time right now to do the sensible thing and leave!
Maisie is delightful company, chattering all the time about her friend, Lucy, who lives in the same street and goes to ballet classes with her.
We lay out a rug in the warm, early May sunshine, and fling ourselves down to eat our picnic. Half-way through her sandwich, Maisie gets up and runs into the trees, emerging a minute later with a handful of little red berries. She shows them to Zak.
‘They’re wild strawberries,’ he says in surprise. ‘Where did you find them?’
She points to the woods. ‘In there.’
They go off on a hunt and I lie back on the rug, feeling relaxed and content, enjoying the feel of the warm breeze ruffling my hair.
When they return, they’ve collected quite a few of the tiny red fruits. Maisie solemnly picks some berries out of Zak’s palm and offers them to me.
I smile at her. ‘Thank you, Maisie.’ I pop one of the berries into my mouth and murmur with pleasure as the strawberry juice bursts on my tongue. ‘Ooh, they’re lovely. So sweet and delicious.’
Zak lies flat out on the grass and Maisie takes a running jump and lands on top of him, giggling. He laughs and pretends to tell her off, and she curls into him and lays her dark head next to his.
To look at them now, so relaxed and natural together, you’d never guess the heartache that lies beneath the surface. A father and daughter, separated by a terrible tragedy, whose time together is always limited and therefore so much more precious.
‘I could stay like this forever, especially if there are wild strawberries! Eh, Maisie Moo?’ Zak tickles his daughter and she squeals with delight.
*****
Later, Zak takes Maisie back to Beth’s.
We’ve just had a lovely tea, watching Maisie’s favourite programme. I wanted to let them have time to themselves but Maisie insisted I watch with them, so how could I refuse? Zak seemed quite happy for me to be there, too, which gave me a lovely warm glow inside.
After they’ve gone, the flat seems deathly quiet.
I lie on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. Today, spending time with Zak and Maisie, was so lovely and unexpected. And it gave me a real insight into Zak’s mind, which has so far confused me. His up and down emotions have been difficult to understand, but now I know his sad story, I can sympathise so completely. He wants to be a proper, hands-on, full-time dad but he’s scared he’ll let Maisie down again.
My heart floods with emotion, reflecting on his sad predicament.
And thinking about Zak himself . . .
There was a time today, when we were having our picnic on the grass, when I felt a lovely warmth coming from him. Perhaps it was because with Maisie, he was happy and more relaxed – but several times, when our eyes met, they lingered a little longer than they should and I felt a breathless elation I haven’t experienced in forever. Even now, just thinking about those heady moments, a little shiver of delight runs through me.
After Richard, I thought I’d never want to be with a man again for a very long time.
But meeting Zak has changed my mind . . .
A pang of longing rips through me as I finally face the truth. The unthinkable has happened. However much I was desperately trying to resist it.
I’ve fallen for Zak . . .