CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
It’s past Maisie’s bedtime and starting to get dark by the time we get back to The Little Duck Pond Café.
The place is all closed up and Sylvia has left us a note that says: Thank God Maisie is okay. I’m in the flat with Rose and we’re watching Carousel. They don’t make them like this any more!
We go upstairs. Sylvia and Mum are in the sitting room. Zak pops his head round the door to say hello then goes off to his room, and Maisie runs over to give Sylvia a hug. The little girl stares shyly at Mum.
Sylvia tweaks her nose. ‘Maisie, this is a very good friend of mine called Rose. Rose, this is Maisie who I was telling you about.’
Mum smiles. ‘I’m very pleased to meet you, Maisie. I hear you love singing.’
Maisie nods.
‘What’s your favourite song?’
‘Nellie the Elephant.’
‘Oh, that was my favourite song when I was a little girl!’ Mum clasps her hands together in delight. ‘Will you sing it for me?’
Maisie nods and goes to sit next to Mum while Sylvia and I nip through to the kitchen to put the kettle on.
‘Mum seems happy.’
‘She’s so lovely. And she’s great company.’ Sylvia pours a glass of orange juice for Maisie. ‘You know, I’ve been reading up on her condition online, and studies show – hang on, I wrote it down.’ She puts down the juice and picks up a scrap of paper, grabbing her reading glasses. ‘Basically it says Alzheimers patients with a better social life in the earlier stages of the condition can actually slow down the progress of memory loss.’
Tears spring to my eyes. I’m so touched Sylvia’s gone to the trouble of researching the disease online – she who has an allergy to modern technology!
She removes her glasses and smiles at me. ‘So bringing Rose here, to a friendly village environment, would be perfect, don’t you think? If she were to live just along the road at that sheltered housing complex, you could spend more time with her and so could I. She’d love the old movie nights you were planning for the café, and she’d meet lots of new people into the bargain.’
I stare at her, my heart beating faster, seeing for the first time a hopeful future through Sylvia’s eyes. If Mum and I both moved to the area, maybe I wouldn’t feel quite so alone, looking after her . . .
But it’s Mum’s decision. It has to be.
We take Maisie’s juice through, although she’s obviously having too good a time singing along with Mum because she puts it straight down on the coffee table without even taking a sip.
‘You’d come to our black and white movie nights with me, wouldn’t you, Rose?’ says Sylvia when the song ends.
Mum beams at her. ‘Just try and stop me.’
‘Of course, it would be better if you lived a little closer, then we could meet for lunch and Bargain Hunt as often as we liked.’
Mum looks surprised.
Sylvia glances at me. ‘I’m trying to persuade Ellie to move here and take over the café, but she’ll only do it if you come, too. Do you think you might, Rose?’
Mum looks from Sylvia to me and then back at Sylvia. Then she smiles. ‘I might.’
Back in the kitchen, making the tea, I nudge Sylvia’s shoulder and murmur, ‘Good work. I think you might have convinced her.’
She smiles. ‘Fingers crossed.’
‘I’ll believe it when it happens.’
‘Oh ye of little faith!’
I laugh. ‘I’ve got a stubborn mother.’
‘Speaking of stubborn people,’ says Sylvia, shooting me a sidelong look, ‘How are you and Zak? Have you come to your senses yet?’
‘Sorry?’
She laughs. ‘There’s no need to look so horrified. It’s obvious you like each other.’
‘Is it?’ I glance at the door, terrified Zak should appear while we’re discussing him.
‘Yes, it is. All you need to do is tear down those barriers, both of you, and bingo!’
I laugh nervously. ‘Bingo? How do you know Zak – um – likes me?’
She grins. ‘Anyone with half an eye could see it. The way he looks at you when he thinks no-one’s watching? The way he’s stayed in Sunnybrook far longer than he originally intended? The hope in his eyes when you offered to go with him to find Maisie? Zak needed you today.’ She smiles. ‘I happen to think you need each other. You’ve both been through such terrible times, but together, you can start to heal.’
My heart is racing. ‘Gosh, you’re a wise old bird,’ I tell her, fighting to remain calm, as if I’m not in the slightest bit elated at her words. ‘If only you actually knew what you were talking about!’
She laughs. ‘Hey, less of the old. I’ve got great instincts when it comes to love.’
‘Maybe for other people. But not when it comes to your own love life. You had a pretty big barrier up yourself to keep Mick out!’
She flushes slightly. ‘I know. I’d rather forget how badly I treated him. In my mind, I felt I was betraying Snowy by liking Mick, so I tried to deny it, even to myself. But true feelings will surface however hard you try to suppress them.’ She smiles. ‘A brush with your own mortality is great for helping you get things in perspective. Mick is lovely and you know what? I know Snowy would approve.’
I nod. ‘I never met Mr Snow but I feel as if I know him. And I think you’re right. He would want you to be happy.’
‘It’s time you were happy, too, Ellie,’ she says with a sly look.
I swallow hard. Hearing Sylvia say that Zak is attracted to me makes me feel wonderfully light-headed and happy. But am I really ready to risk everything in love again?
‘Sylvia, I’m terrified,’ I whisper. ‘I was devastated after Richard . . .’
She slips her arm around me. ‘Ellie, Zak is not Richard. You mustn’t tar all men with the same brush, just because that Dick of yours was a prize knob-head.’
Laughter bursts out of me. Then Sylvia joins in and we can’t seem to stop, holding onto each other and crying tears of mirth.
‘Can anyone join the party?’
We swing round with guilty faces at Zak’s voice, like school kids caught smoking.
Sylvia dabs her eyes with a handkerchief, still laughing, and presses his arm. ‘I’d better get back to the party next door. I can’t miss the end of Carousel.’
She turns and gives me a meaningful glance, before leaving Zak and I alone together.
‘Listen, Ellie, I just want to thank you for coming with me to find Maisie.’
‘I was glad to help. That little girl is very special.’
He smiles. ‘I agree.’
‘And she needs her dad. That much is obvious.’
We lock eyes and he takes a step closer, pulling me against him. Closing my eyes, my limbs turn to water as his mouth finds mine.
‘Daddy!’
At the sound of Maisie’s voice, we break apart and smile down at her.
‘Daddy, you really like Ellie,’ pipes up Maisie.
Zak meets my eyes with an intense look that drains all the strength from my knees. ‘You’re right, Maisie. I really like Ellie.’
‘Where am I sleeping tonight? Where’s my bed?’ she wants to know.
Zak and I glance at each other.
‘I hadn’t really thought about sleeping arrangements,’ he murmurs, looking at me for inspiration.
‘If you like, Maisie, we could have a girls’ sleep-over,’ I suggest. ‘What do you think?’
Maisie’s eyes light up.
‘We could make a lovely bed with pillows and duvets in my room for you to sleep in and it would be like camping! How about that?’
‘Would we have marshmallows?’ she asks shyly, clinging on to Zak. ‘Gran and I always toast marshmallows when we go camping.’
I catch Zak’s eye and we exchange an amused glance. ‘I daresay we could have marshmallows, yes.’
She looks up at Zak. ‘Can I have a girls’ sleep-over with Ellie, Daddy?’
He chuckles. ‘I think that sounds amazing.’ The warm smile he gives me makes me feel as if I’m floating on air.
Mum and Sylvia appear just then. We decide that Sylvia will go back to her own house, Mum will have the spare room and Zak will sleep on the sofa in the living room.
Later, I lie there, listening to Maisie’s steady breathing. She was all for staying up, but I read to her and she was asleep before I was even half way through the story.
I’ve felt the whole range of emotions today – from the panic and fear when Maisie went missing to the flare of hope I felt when Mum almost agreed to move to Sunnybrook! From the hilarity with Sylvia in the kitchen to the burst of joy when Zak and I kissed. It’s been a rollercoaster of a day, yet I still have no real answers.
One positive thing did happen today that I was pleased about. As we were driving back with Maisie, Richard called me on the mobile and told me he’d accepted an offer on the house. If it all goes through, I should receive my half of the proceeds very soon. And then I’ll be able to put the past and Richard firmly behind me.
But what I will do with the money, I still don’t know.
I feel as if I embarked on a mystery tour when I came to Sunnybrook.
And I’m still trying to work out where my final destination will be . . .
*****
Next morning, when I wake up, Maisie’s not there.
I sit up and look at the clock.
It’s not yet six-thirty. Children wake so early at her age.
I pull on my robe and check the bathroom but she’s not there, so I try the kitchen. No luck. After listening outside the living room for signs of life from Zak within, I’m emboldened by the silence to push the door open a crack.
There’s no sign of Maisie anywhere, and I’m starting to panic. Unless she’s gone through to Mum’s room . . .
Peering in, I see to my horror that her bed is empty, too.
Oh God, Mum! Where are you?
A memory of the time I lost her in the shopping centre races into my head and panic rises up.
What if . . . ?
No, don’t think like that! They’ll be fine.
I rush to my bedroom window and look out – and my heart leaps. There they are. Mum is holding Maisie’s hand and they’re standing at the edge of the duck pond.
My hand flies to my mouth.
It’s just as well it’s a sunny, blue-skied start to the day because they’re both standing there in their pyjamas!
‘Everything okay?’ says Zak at my shoulder. ‘Where’s Maisie?’
‘She’s down at the duck pond with Mum,’ I tell him, brushing past and heading for the door. ‘I’ll go and get them.’
I run down the stairs, telling myself they’ll be fine. Most of the time, Mum is absolutely fine but I don’t want to take any risks with Maisie – not after yesterday.
If Mum doesn’t keep hold of her hand, she’ll be in that pond for sure!
Bolting outside, I run through the little garden but have trouble with the catch on the gate. Zak, who’s right behind me, murmurs, ‘Here. Let me,’ and his hand brushes against mine, stirring up all sorts of feelings.
We walk down towards the pond through the little copse of trees and I call out, ‘Mum?’ but she doesn’t hear me.
‘Wait,’ says Zak, and we stop a few yards away from them. ‘They’re just fine. Look.’
I watch them, and I’m not sure if my heart is beating so fast because of my panic or because Zak is standing so close. Mum is keeping hold of Maisie’s hand, even though the little girl keeps darting along the edge of the pond. At one point, Maisie bends down and picks something up. A stone, perhaps, or a fir cone. But Mum doesn’t let go. It’s as if all her focus is on her precious little companion.
She bends to look at what Maisie has picked up. It must be something light, like a fir cone, because Mum puts it in her hair, behind her ear, making Maisie laugh. Then, of course, Maisie has to have it in her hair . . .
Tears spring to my eyes, seeing them together. They’re like two playmates having fun . . .
‘They’re getting on like a house on fire,’ murmurs Zak. ‘I do think Sylvia is right. You should bring Rose here to live.’ He chuckles. ‘I’m sure Maisie could convince her to move.’
I turn in surprise at his suggestion. ‘And what about you? Will you go back to London?’
I’ve got a sick feeling of dread inside, waiting for his reply. I’d love to start afresh here, in Sunnybrook – but not having Zak here would take the shine off it, for sure. His absence would take the shine off everything.
‘I don’t think I want to bring up Maisie in the city. I’d rather she was here, with acres of grass to run around on and fresh country air in her lungs.’ He laughs ruefully. ‘Christ, I sound like an advert for the tourist board.’
My heart lurches then takes flight. ‘So you’re going to be a full-time dad, then?’
He nods and I can tell it’s absolutely the right thing, because he can’t stop smiling. In fact, he laughs out loud at the idea of it, and my heart soars with happiness. It’s the first time, since I met him, that I’ve seen pure joy radiating from his eyes.
Then a thought lands like a boulder in my chest. If Zak stays in Sunnybrook with Maisie, what will he be to me? Just Sylvia’s great-nephew? A man I once shared a flat with for a few short weeks? Is that all?
I’m not sure I can bear just being Zak’s friend . . .
‘Ellie?’ Zak clears his throat, the smile gone from his face. He looks oddly nervous and as I stare up into his dark eyes, I’m suddenly afraid of what he’s going to say. I don’t think I can stand another shock after everything that’s already rocked my world since the start of the year . . .
‘I just wondered what you thought of me being a single dad? A full-time single dad?’ He shrugs. ‘It’s not exactly a tempting prospect, is it? Being with a man whose main priority is his four-year-old daughter? I’ve got a lot of catching up to do with Maisie.’
He’s gazing at me as if I have a decision to make. But there is no conflict in my mind. It all just seems beautifully simple.
‘I wouldn’t want to be with you if your priority wasn’t Maisie,’ I tell him, but he still looks unsure.
‘You’ve been hurt. I don’t want it to happen again,’ he says. ‘I just want you to be sure you understand what you’re getting into.’ He looks down. ‘That’s if you feel the same way about me as I feel about you.’
My face breaks into the biggest smile. ‘Of course I feel the same way. Even though you were really mean and nasty to me when we first met.’
He grins. ‘No, I wasn’t. You were trespassing on my land - ’
‘Sylvia’s land.’
‘Okay, Sylvia’s land. And even though I had this weird urge to wrestle you to the ground even then, on the other hand you’d interrupted my writing session with your pretty bizarre behaviour.’
I laugh. ‘What writing session?’
‘Hey, you.’ He punishes me for my cheek by grabbing me by the waist, pulling me against him and kissing me so thoroughly my head spins.
Maisie shrieks with laughter and we break apart and glance over. Mum seems to be showing her how to skim stones across the water.
I lean happily against Zak’s chest. ‘She’s good at that. I remember her teaching me how to do it.’
Zak chuckles. ‘I’m all for this bond they’re forming, the two of them, but I don’t hold out much hope for the poor ducks. That last stone nearly took the Mallard out.’
‘Oh dear, is it time to rescue them? The ducks, I mean?’
I gaze up at him and he pulls me closer and murmurs, ‘Not quite yet.’
A sudden rustling nearby makes us turn, and to my astonishment, out of a nearby bush walks a female mallard duck, closely followed by her three tiny ducklings. They’re heading in a line for the pond.
My hands rush to my mouth in surprise. I’ve just noticed the mother’s distinctive blue-green beak and a laugh of delight escapes. Jessica!
‘You townie!’ chuckles Zak. ‘Haven’t you seen a duck out of the pond before?’
‘It’s Jessica.’ I shake my head. ‘You wouldn’t understand.’ I slide my arms around his waist and smile up at him.
‘You still haven’t answered my question,’ he murmurs. ‘How do you feel about being with a single dad who’s making up for lost time?’
My vision blurs with happy tears as I look into his eyes. ‘Zak Chamberlain, you could have a hundred children and I’d still want to be with you.’
‘That’s all right, then.’ Tenderly, he smoothes a stray hair behind my ear and the touch of his fingers sends little sparks of desire shooting through my entire body.
I mould myself against him, revelling in the feel of him, and he grips me against him as if he has no intention of ever letting go.
Then he lowers his head and murmurs in my ear, ‘Now for God’s sake go and tell Rose that if she wants to live around here, she can’t go around murdering the ducks.’
Laughing, we walk down to the duck pond, hand in hand.