CHAPTER NINE
My day at the café turns out to be rather enjoyable.
We’re not particularly busy, as it turns out, so I get in some practice with the coffee machine, and by the end of the day, I’m conjuring up cappuccinos like a pro.
Zak nips over to see Sylvia mid-morning to make sure she’s okay then goes back to his writing, before coming down to the café at lunchtime and making quick work of the two cheese toasties I make him, plus a huge slice of the delicious orange and lemon cake Sylvia brought in the day before.
‘Do you need any help?’ he asks before he goes back upstairs.
I smile. ‘I’m sure I’ll manage. I’m not exactly rushed off my feet.’
My only customer was the girl called Jaz, and she sat with her nose stuck in a book and didn’t speak at all except to thank me for delivering the coffee to her table.
‘Thanks for helping Sylvia out like this. She really appreciates it and I know she thinks a lot of you.’ He pauses, glancing down and studying the side of his shoe. ‘She says you’re just here until the summer?’
‘Six month lease. Then I’ll have to go back.’ I feel a little pang of sorrow at the thought.
He nods slowly. Our eyes collide and hold, and my insides turn over.
Zak breaks the contact first. ‘Right, back to the laptop,’ he says, and disappears upstairs.
I stand there thinking for a moment.
I mustn’t get attached to Sunnybrook. This was only ever meant to be a brief escape, for the sole purpose of getting my head together. I can’t keep on driving backwards and forwards to see Mum like this, on a permanent basis, and she’s made it clear she won’t budge from Farley’s Edge.
So there really is only one solution.
Once Richard’s sold the house, I’ll use my share of the profits to buy a little place in Farley’s Edge, near Mum. I love her so much and I need to do my best for her.
But my heart feels heavy at the thought.
*****
After a day on my feet in the café, all I’m fit for is soaking in the bath then curling up in front of the TV. But I really need to go and see Mum first.
Zak is in the shower getting ready to go out to his school reunion as I potter about the kitchen, boxing up two slices of the orange and lemon cake to take over to Mum’s.
I’m dashing through the hall to grab my bag when the bathroom door opens and I collide with Zak coming out. He’s wearing nothing but a white bath towel wrapped round his waist and my hand makes contact with the warm, damp skin of his back, just above the towel.
He laughs and steadies me, and for a fleeting moment our bodies press together.
‘You’re in a hurry,’ he murmurs. ‘Going out?’
I swallow hard, my entire body in uproar at the unexpected contact. ‘Driving over to see my mum.’
‘Ah, yes. Sylvia told me about Rose.’
The understanding in his eyes makes me suddenly feel like crying. But I force a smile and move backwards a fraction to put some space between us. ‘I might bring her over next weekend. It would be a change of scene for her.’
‘Good idea.’ He nods and slicks back his wet hair with both hands, and I can’t help but notice the fine contours of his broad chest and muscular upper arms.
Raw desire rips through me.
Feeling light-headed, I stagger back slightly so that I’m leaning against the wall. Zak’s mouth is moving but I can’t focus on what he’s saying.
‘Okay?’ He’s looking at me, expecting an answer.
I gulp. ‘Sorry, what did you say?’
‘Just that I’ll make sure I’m not around next weekend, then Rose can use the spare bedroom.’
‘Sorry?’ I stare at him in surprise and my heart starts to thump crazily. ‘You’ll still be here next weekend? But I thought . . . ’
His face falls. ‘Didn’t Sylvia tell you? I was thinking I’d like to stick around here for a week or two. Possibly longer. I’m hoping the peace and quiet might be good for the creative process.’ He smiles wryly as if he’s not holding out much hope.
‘Oh, right.’ I try my best to take the news positively, but I’m afraid it must show in my face that I really wasn’t prepared for this. I thought he would be gone by tomorrow night. Then I could have the flat to myself again, instead of walking around all the time with this funny knot of apprehension in the pit of my stomach, knowing I could bump into him at any moment. ‘No, Sylvia didn’t mention it, but that’s fine. Absolutely fine.’
He’s studying me with a frown. ‘Are you all right, Ellie? You look exhausted. Why don’t you go and see your mum tomorrow morning instead? When you’ve had a good night’s sleep?’
I shake my head. ‘She’s expecting me today. I can’t let her down.’
‘I hardly think that’s the case,’ he points out gently. ‘And I’m sure she would understand. The last thing she’d want is you doing a long drive when you’re not feeling up to it.’
I stare at him, tears blurring my vision.
He’s right, of course. Mum probably won’t even remember I said I’d see her today. I’d be better company if I arrived tomorrow morning, feeling fresher and more upbeat. The trouble is, knowing all this won’t stop me feeling guilty for not making it over there tonight.
I wish I were stronger.
I wish I could be what Mum needs . . .
‘Look, you can’t drive in this state,’ Zak says, seeing my distress. ‘I forbid it. Phone your mum, then go and rest.’ He grins. ‘Doctor’s orders.’
I stare down at the wooden floor, at a ball of fluff floating by the skirting board. My instinct is to tell Zak I’m fine and I can make decisions for myself, thank you very much. I had quite enough of being told what to do by Richard.
But I remind myself that Zak isn’t Richard. He’s just being kind.
So I allow him to usher me to the sofa and make me a mug of hot chocolate. He passes me a throw and I snuggle into it and sip my delicious drink, feeling strangely calm, listening to the sounds of Zak getting ready to go out.
For a while now, I’ve felt as if Mum and I have swapped roles. I’ve become the carer. And with Richard, I was forever running around trying to make him happy in one way or another. It’s nice, for once, to be on the other end of the care. To be looked after by someone.
Zak comes in, looking and smelling gorgeous, and switches on the TV for me. He’s wearing jeans and a blue shirt, and he’s even tamed his hair.
‘Can I get you anything before I go?’ He smiles down at me and my heart does a funny little forward flip.
‘No, I’m fine. Enjoy your night.’
I listen as he heads for the door then doubles back to his room, presumably having forgotten his keys or his wallet. He’s in there a few minutes then he comes out, talking on the phone, and I hear him laugh softly. ‘Yes, I’ll try. Must have been mad to say I’d go. Yes. Yes, okay. Call you tomorrow, love.’
My stomach swoops.
I can tell by his voice that it was Beth on the phone again. It’s that low, hushed, intimate tone that’s the give-away.
‘Bye,’ he calls to me finally, then the main door clicks shut behind him.
Silence descends. And as I settle back to try and watch TV, a stunning realisation hits me.
How am I going to cope having Zak around the flat for the next few weeks? I stare at the TV without seeing it. He might be here for the peace and tranquillity, but I doubt if I’ll be experiencing much of that myself. Not now I’m facing up to the startling truth . . .
That having decided men were off the menu for a very long time, I’m now in grave danger of falling hook, line and sinker for Zak!