Chapter Twelve

Pax

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I was trying to be slow and gentle, digging down deep to grasp what little control I had inside. There wasn't much, but enough for me to grab with both hands and hold on tight.

She looked so delicate, so breakable. I didn't want to break her, not yet. I knew how important the first time was for a young woman, it meant the world to have it be perfect.

This is far from perfect.

Sex wasn't always about flowers and love notes. Sex was dirty, it was gritty, spilling down deep into the darkest side of a man's personality.

And I was a man who took, I stole the air out of your lungs and the kindness you thought you had. But with her it felt different, with Vera . . . I wanted to give.

This one is for her, not you.

No matter how badly I wanted to wrap her hair around my hand and pull, no matter how difficult it would be to not bite down on her tender skin and leave my mark, I had to let her lead.

Especially if I wanted her to stay.

Fuck, I'm never letting her go.

Slipping free of my pants, my cock was forcefully pressing against my briefs. The tip was outlined as I stood at full attention, my balls tight and tucked against my body.

I hadn't been with a woman in years, too many years. If I wasn't careful, if I didn't try to diffuse some of the tension by using my fucking brain, there was a chance I might explode before ever getting inside her.

No. You'd look pathetic.

Blowing my load before I even began was not an option. Taking a few deep breaths, I focused on her and her body, the way her legs slipped together, the gentle tremble in her muscles as she laid below me, waiting nervously for that first taste.

A gentle gasp hit her lips as my cock reached for her, pulsing and throbbing to be inside her. Her eyes widened as I slowly pulled out my dick, holding it tightly around the base.

I loved her reaction, the way she lit with a mix of excitement and fear at how thick my length was. There was no doubt that the nerves she had pushed away had flooded back in, stealing away the air in her lungs.

Only this time they weren't going to leave until after I entered her pussy. She could try all she wanted to regain some control, to talk herself out of the unknown and fear of the pain. But I could see it all over her face, it was lit up like a damn billboard at night.

Her eyes grew wide as saucers, flittering over my engorged crown. Parting her lips, her tongue danced over her bottom lip, tasting the air. Goosebumps spotted her arms, flowing over her body in a cascade of ripples.

Holding my cock, I stroked it with long hard pulls, edging it closer. I watched her muscles tense, arms locking straight as she shifted on the bed.

Vera was scared of how it would feel, she was worried about how much it was going to hurt when I slid inside her. And I couldn't expect her to not be worried about that. The first time was the scariest for anyone, guys were no exception.

Any man that says he had the confidence of a porno star his first time is a lying sack of shit.

We had the same anxiety about having sex. I remembered my first time and how worried I was that the girl would think my dick was small or that I wasn't going to do it right. It definitely sent the whole stage fright scenario into hyper-drive.

That first time wasn't as exciting as I had wanted it to be. My anxiety was running rampant, my heart raced a million miles a minute. I remembered sweating profusely before I even began. It was horrible.

But that was so long ago, a forgotten memory until right then. Now, now I was well aware of what to do and how to touch a woman. I knew where to place my hands and how to stroke her body so she would melt.

It might have been years since I had slept with anyone, but all that knowledge was still right there on the front of my brain. That was one thing I would never forget.

Stroking my shaft, I squeezed the crown and smoothly glided my hand back down. “I know what you're wondering and the answer is yes. Yes, it's going to hurt, but only for a little bit, it won't last, I promise.” Cupping her knees, I butterflied her thighs wide open. Her pussy was soaked, dripping in need. “But once I'm inside you, once that pain subsides and the ecstasy seeps in. . .” Lowering myself down onto my forearms, I let my mouth hover over her ear. “You'll never want me to take it out.”

Vera moaned, arching her back and pressing her tits against my chest. Shifting her arms above her head, she wrapped them around my neck and rubbed my scalp.

My skin lit up, prickling from head to toe as she caressed my head, my neck, my shoulders. I loved the way it felt as she touched me, as her hands found my flesh and tasted it with her fingertips.

Pressing my tip to her entrance, I slowly pushed in. Vera's back bowed higher as her thighs clamped tightly around my waist. I watched her face, reading her expressions and trying so hard to be gentle.

I wanted her to remember this in color, in full emotion and sexual gratification. The pain wouldn't be in her mind, the slight ache and pinch as I broke her open would be forgotten and replaced by shivers.

Pushing myself in a little deeper, it took everything I had to not thrust the rest in with one hard push. She was hot and silky, her juice easing me in inch after inch.

Cringing, Vera lifted her face to my shoulder and bit down, digging the sharp edges of her teeth into the skin. “Ah,” she groaned as the rest of my cock disappeared inside her.

I didn't move once I was all the way in, I stayed still, giving her body time to relax and accept the muscle now buried deep. “Are you alright?” I asked, placing a kiss on her forehead, then trickling them down over her jaw and neck.

Her body clenched as she dug her nails into my back, racking my spine. Pushing the hair away from her face, I watched her brows crinkle and her mouth draw in her bottom lip. “Yeah, I'm okay.”

“Are you sure? I can stop if you need me to.” If it was too much for her, if she couldn't handle the pain, I wouldn't keep going.

I didn't want to stop and it'd be fucking blue ball hell if she needed me to. But if she wanted me to take it out, now was the time to say so. I couldn't promise her I wouldn't turn into a feral animal and block out her voice, her sounds, her pain if she let me go a little longer.

You won't hurt her, you know you won't.

“I'm okay, keep going.” Her words were soft, riding the air as she exhaled a warm breath over my cheek. Wiggling her hips, Vera shifted her waist and loosened her legs.

Raising up, I pressed back inside, over and over I thrust gently. Her nipples beaded, grazing my chest as our bodies rocked together. The sounds she made started to change, turning from discomfort to soothing music.

Her body began to rock with mine, rolling and grinding her hips up to meet my pace. My cock was in awe, feeling the tightness of her pussy milking my shaft. I wanted to explode, I wanted to erupt my seed deep inside her and plant a part of me in her forever.

Vera lifted her legs, wrapping them around my waist. “Fuck, Pax.” Curving her spine higher, her head snapped back as her mouth gaped open to release a huge, long moan.

Jerking my hips a little harder, I pushed in deeper, tasting her walls. Her pussy was perfect, tight and smooth, wet and silky. Thrust after thrust I lost myself inside her as my tip swelled and the hard muscle beat with a pulse of its own.

Squeezing my waist, I felt her thighs quivering as her hips gyrated, forcing her sweet cunt into my lower belly. The tiny trail of hair that went from my base to the center of my stomach was slick and soaked from her juice.

“Angel, don't be afraid, not anymore.” Driving my head into the crook of her neck, I bit her collarbone as I thrust harder.

Vera's moans turned to screams as her nipples went rock hard, dragging over my chest and scraping my skin. Her thighs were clamped on tight as she trembled beneath me and her body ignited in a wave of goosebumps. She was close, so close to hitting her peak, to reaching the top and falling down hard.

Curling my fingers into her hair, I grabbed the roots and held her face against mine. I wanted to feel her as she came, I wanted to watch her face as she felt the orgasm erupt through her body, turning her blood from cold to hot.

“Mm, Pax!” my angel yelled, raking her nails down my back and clawing the skin raw.

I felt her muscles go stiff as I held her body still and a hard shiver rode the length of her frame from head to toe.

My balls hardened as a tingle in my lower stomach forced my muscles to tighten. I couldn't hold back, I couldn't stop my body from reacting to the pleasure I felt wash over her.

With one quick jerk, I pulled my cock free, letting my come paint her belly in white cream. Pulse after pulse, the come flowed from my tip as I gripped the base of my dick and helped to stroke it out.

I was proud of myself for having the control to pull out, to not frighten her with the idea of getting pregnant. No matter how much I was ready and willing to seal her away here forever, to fuck her over and over until she couldn't walk and was carrying my child. . .

I knew she wasn't ready. It would be a selfish, a dick-headed move for me to lay that in her lap right now. We had all the time in the world to plan our future.

Because now that I had tasted her, she was never leaving.

Lowering my body onto hers, our chests touched, our hearts beating together. Brushing the rim of her ear with my lips, I whispered. “I can't ever let you go, Angel.” Placing a soft kiss on the inside of her neck, I walked my fingers over her chin, turning her face to mine. “Not ever.”