Carly Sevens
I had to pull myself together on the way back from dropping Jack’s mail off. My skin was so sensitive and tingly I felt like some kind of vibrating hologram. The fact that Xav was walking beside me was only part of the reason. He was talking a million miles an hour about everything he’d been up to over the short semester break and catching me up on the parties I’d missed since he’d returned a few days before me. It was ridiculous just how much crazy partying they’d managed to cram in over such a short space of time. When he began to talk about the revision we’d agreed to cover between us, I figured it was time to forget Jack and tune into the here and now.
The problem was the more my heart rate simmered down from the storeroom sex, the more my brain’s sense kicked in. And it was kicking me because of what I’d just let him do to me so stupidly and irresponsibly. If we’d been caught he’d have lost his job, I would probably have had to leave the college, and the thought of my dad finding out didn’t bear considering any longer. I knew in my heart, though, I was angry. He’d assured me it would only be once and I’d told myself that so many times that I believed it. He was screwing with my mental state because he couldn’t control his urges and I wasn’t going to let that happen again. There was just way too much at stake for both of us, not least what the guy was doing to my heart. It was bloody hard work trying to stop what my body was experiencing from taking over my heart and believing in something that just couldn’t be.
“So, what do you think?” I heard Xavier ask.
I had no flipping clue what he’d just asked me, so I took a chance and winged it. “Of course.”
“Great, I’ll text the others, tell them we’ll swing by after we’ve had dinner.”
I smiled back at him and then felt something wet and sticky seep from my body. Jack.
“You okay if I take a quick shower?”
“Want me to soap your back?”
“I think I can manage.” I laughed and he put an arm around my shoulder in a way that told me he was testing out how I felt about his close proximity.
Dinner was exactly like I thought it would be if I ever got the chance to date a rich guy—an expensive steak dinner with a pricey bottle of Rioja. It didn’t help that I was feeling guilty and swallowed up by the lies I’d told at home and felt compelled to try to right some of those wrongs sooner rather than later. Xavier seemed happy, acting like I’d given him the keys to some mythical kingdom; that was the first indication I had that he was into this a whole lot more than me and going to pull out all the stops.
Fortunately, we’d agreed to go straight from classes, so how he dressed gave me a hint of where we were headed, which made my outfit choice easier. Whereas he was wearing dress pants, I was wearing tailored culottes that stopped beneath the knee, teamed with a silk shirt and pair of black peep toe pumps. Xav wore a simple white shirt with the neck open and the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, exposing the strong forearms that handled a basketball like a pro. We made a pretty couple and when we walked into the plush steak restaurant, I was sure that the attention my red mane received was quickly diverted to the man who, again, had an arm around my shoulders.
Conversation was easy and he was a great looking guy, but there was always this doubt about his level of true commitment. In my past, I’d seen my biological mom work hard to trap a guy with money. In the end, they’d used her like trash, and she’d let them do it because she thought she deserved nothing better. Each time this dented her already low self worth, and in the end, she’d go back to the guys she felt she deserved. Xavier had a similar look in his eye. He was destined for a wife who was his match and equal, someone who fit the lifestyle he was being groomed to take over. Part of me wondered whether I was deflecting my own commitment issues by focusing on his. After all, I was the one who was being seen to by a member of the college faculty up against a wall only a few hours ago.
How the hell did I get myself into these messes?
“My parents are major benefactors of the ICU wing at the hospital and will be in town next week. I was wondering if you’d like to join us for dinner?” Xavier was nervous when he asked and it was obvious that his incessant chatter had been the real build up to this part of the conversation.
“I… I’m not sure we’re there yet, Xav. We’re only on our first date.”
“Sure, no expectation. Just think about it.”
I nodded, knowing there was no way I wanted to go anywhere near a formal parent dinner, but I didn’t need to tell him that now. I’d already made up my mind to let him down gently at a later date rather than ruin the rest of the evening for us.
The steak meal was delicious and as red wine gave me a horrific head the morning after, I only had one glass from the expensive bottle. At one point during the dinner, he asked me about my background and where I came from. I still didn’t know anyone here well enough to go into that. Only true friends would be privileged to those details, so I stuck to the facts and made out that my life started the day I met Tommy when my mom dumped me in Hawkstown. I didn’t feel sad that I hadn’t made even one solid friend at college. I wasn’t there for that. Education was the key to making a better life for myself and finally closing the door on my trailer park past. Like I’d learned a long time ago, I successfully swerved that line of enquiry and brought it back to a more familiar one, our college studies. It was a bit lame that I was using such a nice dinner to have a decent conversation about our revision list, but we had to have it at some point so why not now? In the end, it was proving difficult to remember the exact topics so we agreed to have a coffee and go over it.
We left the restaurant and as Xav put my cute black jacket around my shoulders, he pulled me into him and hugged me. “Thank you for a lovely dinner.” He kissed the top of my head affectionately. “Now for something more age appropriate.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, but when we left the steak place and he didn’t hail a cab, I didn’t worry enough to mention it. I knew I’d missed something earlier when I should have been paying attention, but was too embarrassed to ask. We continued to walk down the high street and when I saw the overhanging sign for Dooley’s, dread kicked in. Every step we took closer to the place, I searched the rest of the street wondering if I’d missed the opening of a new bar, and prayed we were heading there instead.
When his pace slowed at the door, I knew my desperate pleas had been for nothing. “I hope you know how to play.”
I was about to ask him what the hell he was talking about when I saw the sign hanging from the bar declaring tonight as ‘mixed pool magic.’ “A pool competition?”
“Not just any competition, sweet cheeks, there’s a lot riding on this.”
“What, a bucket of beer?” I sneered, reading details of the grand prize from the sign on the door.
“Nope. Battle of the balls. Basketball team Vs volleyball team. Winner takes the trophy, bragging rights and the bucket of beer.”
“I am in neither of those teams,” I pointed out, praying again that this was a rule he’d overlooked.
“You don’t have to be. The female in the pair just has to be smoking hot and you’ve got that covered. How can you not know about this famed event? Its legend is hardcore.”
I knew nothing about it because up until I followed Jack in here, I’d barely stepped foot in the place.
When we made it through the crowds of onlookers to the pool tables at the end of the bar, all of our friends were there and if I’d had my brain in gear I would have noticed they were all paired up with Xavier’s friends, too. The tatted bar maid was working our end of Dooley’s bar and when Xav left me to go and get drinks, he made straight for her.
“You two finally out in the open now?” Sascha asked, sidling up behind me.
Here was another person I’d lied to. “Uh… You finished your assignments soon enough to come out and play?” My diversion tactic was good enough, and she launched into a quantitative methods discussion that kept her brain occupied until Xavier returned with a beer for me.
“Here’s the plan, if I give you a quick wink, I need you to walk around and unleash some of your provocative beauty on the opposing team. If you play like I’m hoping, we won’t need to cheat and distract so much.”
“Cheat?” I whisper shouted.
“Sure. Consider this payback for my alibi before vacation.”
Before I could protest, the tatted bar maid appeared with a mic and a whiteboard declaring the game schedule that had been drawn earlier. The guys in the bar were whooping and hollering at her. She was insanely pretty and had this commanding grace about her that seemed to garner respect. A huge final cheer reared up when she shouted, “Let the Battle of the Balls commence.” All the contestants moved to their respective team’s side to watch the action at the two adjacent tables.
* * *
Two hours of knockout pool games later and I was seriously enjoying myself. Xav was doing most of the hard work on the table, and with his coaching on my shots, I was able to hold my own. We’d made it to the quarter finals and I was starting to feel a little bit of excitement from the buzz of it all. My housemates had never seen this side of me before and for the first time in a while, being the center of attention wasn’t scaring the shit out of me. It was spurring me on. We finally beat the volleyball couple we were playing to make it to the semi-finals and the celebrations had me smiling like never before. This was fun. Every time I finished a shot, I’d wander back to Xavier and stand by him. It even worked that all of the other couples were dressed casually and we were in our restaurant clothes. While the guys couldn’t take Xavier seriously in his dress pants, they couldn’t stop looking at me in mine and we were the perfect combination of distraction. They laughed at Xav and leered at me, hindering their concentration.
In between matches, Xavier would move back on his bar stool and make room for me to perch on the edge of it between his legs. He’d pass me the pool cue to hold and a fresh beer, leaving him free to handle his own beer and me. To the outside world, it all looked very together and comfortable, and I’m pretty sure even to Xav, it felt like we were a real couple.
The semi-final was a stickier affair. With the tension mounting, the space around us was packed. You could feel the pressure in the place. Xavier and I faced a guy and girl who had been slowly getting drunker as the night progressed. It was obvious we were going to win and make it to the final.
When we beat them, the rest of the basketball crew, who had already been eliminated, crowded around us and cheered like we’d won an Olympic gold.
“What are they doing?” I shouted over the melee to Xavier, with my hands covering my ears.
He shoved his way through the man hug he was embroiled in and came over to me. “Basketball boys have never made it past the quarter finals. This is a historic event.” He smiled. “The volleyball bitches take this shit seriously, and it’s all because of you. You’re my lucky charm.”
Xavier stepped closer to me and took hold of my chin. He was tall and feeling the joy of our success so far. I didn’t register what was happening as his lips moved closer and closer to mine, until I felt the warmth of them on my own. After a quick peck, he looked me in the eye. “I’ve wanted to do that for so long. So much so that I’m going to do it again.”
His public display of affection took me by surprise. I didn’t want to make either of us look stupid by pushing him off or rebuking him, so I let him kiss me deeper this time. His tongue prodded between my lips and it reminded me of the brief fumbles I’d had in high school—desperate in a bad way and tasted too much of warm beer.
Deep down, I already knew that Xavier and I were never going to become a real couple and this kiss proved it. There was no panty exploding fire or surging heart rush of adrenaline. It was just wet and warm.
When the kiss ended, he looked back into my eyes and was trying to read into where I was at with it all. He didn’t pressure me for any more and I hoped maybe he could tell it was all a bit of an anti-climax. He gave no hint away, but continued to pull me into a cuddle between his thighs as he sat on the bar stool.
With my chin rested on his shoulder, I reciprocated, only this time when I opened my eyes, I was staring right at Jack who was on his usual stool at the bar. His jaw was set tight and he was glaring at me like he could have committed murder. Only I wasn’t sure whether it was Xavier or me he was plotting to kill, and the anger in his pose reminded me of everything I’d loved about this afternoon in the store cupboard.
Finally, my panties began to smolder.