One

Daisy

 

“Laid off?  But you were just hired six months ago.”

“Yeah, I know.”  I collapsed on the couch with a harsh sigh and rubbed at my temples. 

Frannie plopped down on the other end of the couch and grabbed my legs, pulling them into her lap before beginning to rub my feet.  “I’m sorry, Daisy.”

I groaned in pleasure and rested my head against the back of the couch as Frannie continued to rub my feet.  I had only been roommates with the tiny, blonde woman for five months, but we were already best friends. 

“Me too, Frannie.  I really liked this job, you know?  My patients were great, my boss was great, my coworkers were…”

I trailed off and Frannie grinned at me.  “Great?”

“Mostly,” I said.

“There are other rehab facilities in the city, you’ll find something,” Frannie said.

“Yeah, but not this close to Christmas,” I said as the front door slammed.  Moments later Frannie’s boyfriend, Owen, sauntered into the room.

“Hey, sexy ladies, what’s happening?”

He sat in the armchair across from us and winked at Frannie.  She jumped up and hurried across the room to sit in his lap.  They kissed deeply and when Owen’s hand began to inch up toward Frannie’s boob, I said, “Keep it in your pants, buddy.”

Owen laughed as Frannie blushed and gave me an apologetic look.  “Sorry, sweetie.”

“I can’t help it.  My lady is hot,” Owen said as he gave Frannie an appreciative look.

Despite my current jaded attitude toward love and men, I had to admit, it was kind of cute how crazy Owen and Frannie were for each other.  Owen was good looking with his shaggy blond hair, blue eyes and lean body, but I liked my men tall and big with dark hair.  Nothing made me hotter than a strong jaw with the perfect amount of stubble.  Of course, even if Owen had been Mr. Tall, Dark and Handsome, he was definitely not my type.  His laid-back and easy-going nature was perfect for Frannie but it left me cold.

“Why so sad looking, D?”  Owen suddenly asked.

“She lost her job,” Frannie said. 

“Blows,” Owen replied.  “Sorry, dude.”

“Thanks, Owen,” I said.

“So, are you going to start looking for a job right away?”  Frannie asked.

“No, I’ll wait until January,” I said as I picked at a thread on my jeans.  “It’s like a week before Christmas.  No one will be hiring over the holidays.”

“So, now that you’re not working, you have zero plans for the holidays,” Frannie said.

I threw one of the couch pillows at her.  “Way to make me sound like a complete loser, Frannie.”

She didn’t reply.  She was staring at Owen and he cocked an eyebrow at her.  “What, babe?”

She pressed a kiss against his mouth before sliding off his lap and joining me on the couch again.  “Daisy, why don’t you come with me to my parents’ place for Christmas?”

I shook my head.  “That’s very sweet, but I’m not intruding on your family time.”

“Sweetie, I want you to come.  Now that you and Dick have broken up, you’ll be all alone at Christmas.”

“One, his name was Richard not Dick, and two, I’ve been alone at Christmas before.  It’s no big deal.  I’ll order Chinese food and do a Netflix marathon,” I said.

“Or, you could come home with me and enjoy a traditional Christmas dinner, open presents with my family on Christmas morning and participate in all the holiday festivities around town. You might even meet someone.”

Frannie wiggled her eyebrows at me and I rolled my eyes.  “I’ve taken a vow of celibacy, remember?  I have no interest in meeting someone.”

“Can you even be a nun if you’ve already had sex?”  Owen said.

“A vow of celibacy doesn’t automatically make you a nun, Owen,” I replied as Frannie giggled.

“Fair enough,” Owen said.  “Hell, not even nuns are celibate anyway.  I knew this chick once who was a nun and she like, banged two different guys at the same party.”

“Oh my God,” Frannie said, “that was a Halloween party, baby, and she was in a nun costume.”

Owen squinted at her.  “You sure?”

“Positive,” Frannie replied.

“Fuck,” Owen said, “I gotta cut back on the weed.”

Both Frannie and I laughed, and Owen gave us a cheerful grin before pulling out his cell phone.  He studied the screen as Frannie took my hands and squeezed them.  “Seriously, sweetie.  I think you should come with me.  My parents have an extra room in the basement.  Say you’ll come with me…please?”

I studied her silently, noting the way her gaze didn’t quite meet mine.  “What’s going on, Frannie?”

“Nothing,” she said as she darted a quick look at Owen.  “Nothing’s going on.”

“Don’t lie to me,” I said.  “Why are you suddenly so anxious for me to spend Christmas with you and your family?”

Frannie took a deep breath.  “Okay, so, don’t freak out but, I need to ask you a really big favour.”

“What?”  I said.

“Now that you’re not working and have no plans for the holidays, I want you to come home with me and pretend to be my girlfriend.”

I blinked at her.  “I – what?”

“Babe, that’s brilliant,” Owen said.

I gave him a look of confusion as Frannie said, “I want you to tell my family that you’re my girlfriend and we’re in a relationship.”

“I know I swore off men, but I’m not switching teams.  I’m practicing celibacy not lesbianism,” I said.  “And spoiler alert – you’re not a lesbian either.”

“Damn straight,” Owen said without looking up from his phone.  He held his fist up and bumped the air as Frannie gave me a pleading look.

“Please, Daisy.  Just help me out, okay?”

“No,” I said.  “No, definitely not.  Why would your parents believe that we were lesbians?  You’ve been dating Owen for a year.”

“Well, they don’t exactly know about Owen,” Frannie said.

I blinked at her.  “What?  How can they not?”

“It’s kind of a long story,” Frannie said.

“You just asked me to tell your family I’m your lesbian lover, I think you can sum up the long story for me,” I said.

Frannie blew a lock of her blonde hair out of her face.  “Okay, you know that Owen and I grew up in the same town, right?”

“Yes.  Your families live next to each other.”

“Right.  So, years ago, my dad and Owen’s dad were like stupid big rivals at their high school.  They were both really popular, and they were both on the basketball team and they, like totally hated each others’ guts.  They were constantly trying to outdo each other and everything was one big competition between them.  My mom said that even though he hated public speaking, my dad still joined the debate team just because Owen’s dad did.  Anyway, they still hate each other and growing up, I wasn’t allowed to be friends with Owen or his sister even though they lived right next door to us.”

“Are you kidding me?”  I said.  “It’s been like thirty years.  They can’t still be enemies over stupid high school shit.”

“Dude, you don’t know our dads,” Owen said solemnly.  “They’re both stubborn as hell.”

“Anyway, I barely even talked to Owen when we were kids.  I didn’t even know he’d moved away from Darville until I bumped into him here,” Frannie said.  “We started talking and I realized that he was really a pretty cool guy and then we…”

She trailed off and Owen said, “Then we started boning.”

“Owen!”

“What?  It’s true, babe.  You can’t keep your hands off this.”  He lifted his shirt and rubbed his admittedly impressive looking six pack.

Frannie rolled her eyes.  “Anyway, Owen is going home for Christmas too and we thought we were going to tell them then.  But Owen’s dad wants this historical home torn down to make room for new town houses.  So, the Darville Historical Society got involved in saving and restoring it.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”  I said.

“My dad is the president of the Darville Historical Society,” Frannie said.

“Oh,” I replied.

“Dude, my dad like, hates history and stuff,” Owen said before staring at his cell phone again.

“We can’t tell them right now, Daisy,” Frannie said.  “It’ll make everything worse.”

“Okay, fine, I get that,” I said.  “But I don’t understand why you need me to pretend to be your girlfriend.  Just pretend to be single.”

“Yeah, see, my parents really want grandchildren,” Frannie said.  “Now that they think I’ve been single for over a year, my mom and my grandma have already made it clear that they’re going to try and set me up with half the damn town over Christmas.  We’ve got a lot of single guys in Darville, Daisy.  I don’t want to spend my entire holiday fending them off!”

“What about your brother?”  I said.

“Dude, she can’t pretend to date her brother.  That’s disgusting,” Owen said.

“Shut up, Owen,” I said.  “Your brother is older than you, right?  You said he’s flying in for Christmas too.  Maybe you can convince your mom and grandma to try and set him up instead.”

Frannie shook her head.  “It won’t work.  My brother is immune to Mom’s guilt trips about not giving her grandkids.”

“You can’t spend the rest of your life pretending to be a lesbian,” I said.  “Sooner or later, you and Owen will get married and then what?”

“We’re going to tell them once the holidays are over and this stupid historical house thing is done.  When things are a bit calmer, and our fathers only hate each other the usual amount, then we’ll tell them.”

“But they’ll think you’re a lesbian!”  I nearly shouted.

“I’ll tell them I’m bisexual,” Frannie said.  “We are going to tell them.  Just not right now.”

“I don’t think I can pretend to be a lesbian,” I said.  “I love you, Frannie, but I’m not, I mean…”

I trailed off and Owen said, “You don’t give her a lady boner, babe.”

“Owen!”  Frannie said before turning toward me again.  “Sweetie, my parents are super conservative.  Honestly, it’s going to freak them out when I tell them we’re dating.  They probably won’t let us sleep in the same bedroom together.  At the most, we’ll have to do a bit of handholding, maybe kiss once or twice.”

“If there’s tongue, make sure you get a picture,” Owen said.

“No tongue,” Frannie said firmly.  “Only a quick, close-mouthed kiss once or twice to sell the relationship.”

“You should still get a picture,” Owen said.

“Please, Daisy,” Frannie said.

I hesitated and Owen glanced up from his cell phone.  “Babe, if Daisy really doesn’t want to do it, we shouldn’t make her.”

Frannie gave him a look of frustration.  “Baby, if my parents believe I’m a lesbian for a few months and then I tell them that I’m dating you, it’ll work in our favour.  They’ll probably be so relieved I’m not a lesbian, that they’ll be happy we’re dating.”

“You’d do that to your own family?”  I said.

“It’s a good lesson for them,” Frannie said.

“Wait,” Owen said.  “Dude, are you telling me that your parents will only think I’m good enough for you because I got a penis instead of a vagina?”

“Possibly,” Frannie said.

Owen considered that for a moment before grinning.  “Harsh, but fair.”

“Frannie, I don’t know,” I said.

“C’mon,” Frannie pleaded, “I don’t like the idea of you spending Christmas all alone, and I really need your help with this.  Please, Oopsie?”

I could feel myself caving when she said her nickname for me.  Shortly after we had become roommates, Frannie and I had gone out to a bar together.  Long story short, we drank too much and I bit the pavement outside the bar, falling flat on my face.  When Frannie had rolled me onto my back, asking frantically if I was hurt, I had grinned and mumbled, “Oopsie-Daisy”.

She’d burst into laughter before falling down next to me.  We had giggled hysterically until the bouncer had came out, picked us both up and pushed us into a cab.  That night cemented our friendship.

“Fine, I’ll do it,” I said, “but you seriously owe me for this, Frannie.”

Frannie squealed and threw her arms around me.  She hugged me before kissing my cheek.  “Thank you, Daisy.  You have no idea how much you’re helping us.”