Teagan
Kane had left earlier to work at the library. My feet hadn’t quite touched the ground since he’d told me he’d come to Boston. He was making that step for me. What was even better, he seemed excited about the trip.
Simon and I had just returned from the hospital, and, though Mrs. Marks hadn’t regained her ability to speak, she was staying awake for longer stretches, even though she was still a bit out of it.
“Have you heard anything from the PI on Mr. Sleazy?” I had googled Sleazy and, though there was all kinds of press shit out there on him—the man really seemed impressed with himself—nothing I’d learned helped me understand how he’d heard of Raven’s Peak.
“I did, he called last night. We have a phone meeting with him . . .” He looked at his watch. “About now, actually.”
Sitting in the study, I listened to Simon’s PI on speakerphone. “Dimitri Falco, born 1986 to Francesca and Joseph Falco in Greenwich, Connecticut. Got decent grades, parents are pretty affluent, went to Yale for undergraduate and graduate. Estranged from his parents after a few priceless pieces from their home went missing, parents convinced he took them. Logical, since the man likes the finer things but doesn’t usually have the money for them. Bought himself a top-of-the-line Jag a year ago, when he was floating on a wad of cash; the cash dwindled, and he couldn’t afford the payments, so it got repossessed. Passed the bar on the first go, worked as an associate for a year before getting hired by Connelly, Drake, and Bowen. I’ve been looking for the connection between Falco and Bowen and found something, Bowen’s daughter, Camille, also attended Yale at the same time as Falco. She flunked out early into the second year. They may not have known each other, but the connection deserves a closer look.”
“Thanks for getting on this so quickly,” Simon said.
“You bet. I’ll call when I know more.”
Simon hung up the phone. “So what do you think about the lovely Camille going to school with Sleazy?”
“Not a coincidence. I couldn’t figure out how he’d learned of Raven’s Peak, but now we know. I’m guessing his interest is getting his hands on some of Mrs. Marks’s priceless pieces, like he allegedly did with his parents. It seems to fit what we know about him. Learning there was a treasure trove like Raven’s Peak ripe for the picking was no doubt too tempting for him. That I get.”
“And Camille?”
“She loved this place—she wanted to live here with Kane. When we were younger, she threatened him that she’d get him back for not sharing her ridiculous plans for the future. She’s still nosing around, stopping by to chat with him.” The lightbulb in my head flashed on. “Maybe she isn’t really here to chat with Kane. Maybe she’s eyeing some of the pieces she’s drooled over since our youth. Maybe she plans on getting Sleazy to steal them. I wouldn’t put it past her.”
“Well, she did claim that her waitressing gig was temporary. Maybe her little scam with Sleazy was what she was alluding to.”
“Possibly, but what I don’t get is her father. Why would a well-respected man hire someone with a past like his? There had to be something that forced Bowen’s hand.”
“You’re right. You think it could be related to Camille flunking out? Embarrassment for her old man? Maybe he brushed that failure under the rug and Sleazy found it?”
“I don’t know, I don’t get how the minds of the super rich work. Maybe. Seems kind of stupid to stake the reputation of your firm and yourself on the fact that your daughter isn’t the sharpest knife in the drawer. All anyone has to do is talk to her to figure that out.”
“Ha! True but funny.” He laughed, leaning across the table. “Maybe we should hang a shingle and go into business.”
“Investigation? Nah, leave that for the Scooby gang.”
“Tell me you’re ecstatic that Kane’s agreed to come to Boston.”
“Yes. He’s going to love it. I can’t wait to take him to the marina, and I know he can’t see the boats, but I’ll describe them to him, and he can run his hand over them.”
“You’re really good about that with him.”
“What do you mean?”
“Without being asked, you describe a scene for him so he’s a part of it. And having never been around a blind person before, it’s instinct. I think that’s what I find so fascinating about the two of you. You move as if you’re attached, effortlessly from one to the other. It’s like one mind and two bodies. I had never believed in soul mates, but now I’ve seen it with my own eyes.”
A warmth moved through me hearing Simon describe how he saw Kane and me, because he was exactly right. “It’s been like that with us since our very first meeting. I never felt uncomfortable with him, actually quite the opposite. I only ever felt truly comfortable with him.”
“It’s the same for him. He isn’t one to show emotion, but whenever you’re near, he’s more relaxed—the hardness of his jaw eases, his shoulders aren’t so square.”
“That’s love, Simon. It isn’t just a feeling, it’s a state of being.”
“I need to find me that.”
“Usually happens when you’re not even looking for it.”
“Good to know. All right, I’m smelling something sinful, so let’s go pester Mrs. T to let us sample it.”
He rose and started for the door, and I followed. “Kane’s probably back. I’ll go see if he wants to join us.”
He stopped in the door and turned to me. “Call him.”
“What?”
“Call him. He has a phone. You don’t need to go get him. I know your instinct is to keep him close, to hold his hand, to be his eyes. But, Tea, you’re also the woman he loves and, as a man, he needs to feel in control of himself. He needs you to see that just because he’s blind, it doesn’t mean he can’t be all the things you need him to be. You undermine that every time you act in any way you wouldn’t normally, placing his blindness right there between you.”
“I didn’t . . . I . . .” Pulling a hand through my hair, I felt ill, because Simon was absolutely right. “I didn’t realize I was doing that.” Clarity came. “That’s why he doesn’t want my help.”
“Yep.”
“God, I’m an idiot.”
He wrapped his arm around me. “Not an idiot, just overprotective. But he’s the man in the relationship, and he needs you to know that he can protect you sometimes.”
My arms wrapped around his waist, happiness making me feel almost giddy. “You are a very wise man, Simon.”
“You are not the first to say that, and it’s true—wise, handsome, charming, witty—I’ve got it all, except for food in my stomach, so let’s call Kane and get some before I wither away.”
Later that night, Kane and I were spooning in my bed. Zeus was at the foot, stretched out and snoring. My stomach was full, my body sated, Kane’s naked body pressed up against mine. Life was good. Remembering the phone call from the PI, I turned to Kane, my head resting next to his on the pillow.
“Want to hear something interesting?”
His fingers drifted up and down my spine, the sensation so soothing. “What?”
“Camille and Mr. Sleazy both went to Yale at the same time. And now Mr. Sleazy works for her dad. And he’s here in the house that Camille coveted as a kid.”
His jaw clenched. “You don’t think it’s a coincidence.”
“Nope. He has a habit of spending beyond his means. He’s estranged from his parents because of stealing some valuables from them. Seems to me he’s not here to update documents but to case the joint.”
“Well, shit. You couldn’t have picked a better mark, three old people and a blind man watching over the place.” Bitterness dripped from his voice.
“Stop.”
“Seriously, I could be sitting right there in the library and he could be stealing us blind, fucking pun intended.”
“You said it yourself—your life has limitations now. The fact that you can’t see some criminal invade your home under the guise of a friend . . . most sighted people wouldn’t be able to see that either.”
“You did.”
“Only because Simon and I often have encountered people like Sleazy in our business, grifters who come with ‘rare’ treasures that they’re willing to sell to us at a discount. The first few we fell for, but after getting burned a few times, we got wise to it. Had I not experienced that, I wouldn’t have picked up on Sleazy’s intentions either.”
Leaning over him, I rested my arms on his chest. “You’re blind.”
“Thanks for pointing that out.”
I slapped him, but playfully. “Let me finish. You’re blind, and yet you know every inch of this house without needing to feel your way around. You can get into a boat and cross a body of water, climb the steps up to Raven’s Peak, and find your way inside like a sighted man. You’re building a boat and doing whatever kind of fighting you are with that man, often kicking his ass. You’re beating Mr. Clancy in chess, and you make love like a god. Don’t be so hard on yourself.”
He was silent for such a long time that I had no idea what he was thinking. “There’s somewhere I’d like to take you. Will you come with me?”
“Yes.
“You don’t even want to know where?”
“I’ll be with you. Where doesn’t really matter.”
He rolled so I was pinned under him, a grin tugging at the corner of his mouth. “Tell me more about me making love like a god.”
“Why tell when you can show me?”
“I like the way your mind works.”
“Shut up and kiss me.”
Walking down the brightly lit corridor, my stomach roiled and my hands were damp from nerves. The place Kane wanted to take me was the burn unit of the hospital, the place where he had spent almost a full year of his life. As soon as we entered the sealed doors, the nurses at the station moved from around the desk to greet him warmly.
“Kane, you’re early this month,” one nurse, whose name tag declared her to be Lydia, said affectionately. “And who is this?”
“This is Tea.”
At the announcement, three sets of eyes flew to mine like I was a celebrity or something. In the next second, I was being hugged hard by Lydia. “So nice to meet you.”
Clearly. “You too.” I sounded lame, but I had a suspicion there was more to the pointed stares I was receiving. Mr. Clancy had mentioned that Kane had called out for me; was that why they were looking at me the way they were?
“You’ll have to suit up. Kane knows the way,” Lydia said before adding, “it means so much to the patients. Thank you for coming.”
Since I didn’t know what I was doing yet, I only smiled at her. Kane reached for my hand and started pulling me down the hallway. We entered a locker room with gowns wrapped in plastic and boxes of latex gloves.
“Kane?”
“I come every month, sometimes a few times. Remembering what it was like, I come and sit with some of the more severe cases. Just the sense of another human presence can make all the difference.”
My eyes stung and a lump formed in my throat. “Who came to see you?”
“More than I needed and not the one I wanted.”
“I would have been camped in your room, would have handcuffed myself to your bed.”
“I know.”
I needed to be calm for these people, but I suspected I was going to have a major crying jag, which, considering the amount of crying I’d been doing lately, wasn’t that much of a surprise.
“Okay. What do I have to do?”
The patient’s name was Jerry Beck. He had been on vacation with his girlfriend when the gas grill they were using malfunctioned and burned part of his upper body. The girlfriend didn’t stick around after that, and Jerry had been in the burn unit for over two months. His skin was so tender, the pain in his eyes so pronounced, I actually felt his pain in my own body. And yet, he was smiling and laughing, finding something to be happy about despite his circumstances. People based strength on physical ability, but real strength comes from within, like with Jerry and Kane. People who find the will to continue on, even when they’re at their very lowest.
“You’re here with Kane?”
“Yeah. He’s with another patient.”
“Don’t know what I would have done without him.”
“He visits you often?”
“Yeah, he arranged for my mom to visit too.”
“He did?”
“My mom’s alone and she doesn’t have money, so when she heard what happened, she couldn’t get to me. I know it just tore her up. And then one day she’s here. Kane paid for her trip and even set her up in some place for the duration of her visit.”
I was going to start crying right there in Jerry’s room.
“I guess having been where we all are, he gets it. Not a lot of people would do that, take such an active interest. He’s a good guy.”
“You have no idea.”
I managed to make it out of Jerry’s room, discarding my gown and gloves in the red can marked for them, and down the hall to the locker room before I lost it. Sliding down the wall, pulling my knees toward me, I cried. I cried for Jerry and his mom, I cried for all those other beds filled with burn victims, but mostly I cried for Kane, because I could see him in Jerry’s place.
The door opened; I jerked my head up, expecting to see Kane, but it was Lydia. She settled next to me on the floor.
“He used to call out for you. Every day, all day long. I couldn’t imagine what kind of person wouldn’t come to the one she loved when he’d needed her the most. Years later, he explained who you were and why you never came. And then I hurt for you too, being so ruthlessly pushed from his life.
“I’ve been doing this job for a really long time. I know people handle grief differently, but that first day Kane came walking into the unit, holding on to the wall because he couldn’t see where he was going, he stood just in the doors, asking if it would be all right for him to sit with one of the patients. At first I thought he was acting out of contrition, that he had some horrible things in his past he was trying to do penitence for, but that isn’t it. With all he’s suffered, including the loss of you, he comes in here looking to offer comfort to strangers.”
Now I wasn’t just crying, I was weeping.
She reached for my hand, her hold strong but affectionate. “Got to tell ya, I’m really happy to see you walking through those doors with him. If anyone deserves to be reunited with his loved one, it’s that man.”
And before I could say anything, she stood and slipped from the room. I washed up—though one look at me, and it would be clear I’d been crying—and then I went in search of Kane. He was sitting in a little kid’s room: the child’s face was wrapped, his hair mostly gone. His parents were in the room too, sleeping, as Kane held a book in his lap, his fingers moving over the pages. He was afraid he wasn’t the boy he had been, but he was so wrong. He was my Kane, older, wiser, maybe a little more hardened, but he was still the boy who came to me and offered comfort, the boy who used to help our elderly neighbors carry their groceries home, the boy who ran into a burning building to save the life of another. We were better together than apart. We were apart when he’d walked into that burning building, apart for the past nine years that were filled with so much pain. No more. No more sadness, no more tears. We were together again, finally, and that was something to celebrate.
A half an hour later, he too was dumping his gown in the can. I stepped up next to him and took his hand. Pulling him down the hallway, I led us to the stairwell, and, as soon as the door closed at his back, I curled into him, wrapped my arms around his waist, and kissed him. It took him a few beats to respond before his mouth was moving, his tongue searching for mine, his fingers threading through my hair, his palms settling behind my ears in both possession and tenderness. We were both breathing heavy when we finally ended the kiss many, many minutes later. “What was that for?”
“Just because.”
Even though he couldn’t see, his gaze searched mine. “Can you tell me what I did, so I can do it again, and often?” he asked.
“Just being you.”
“So I have more of those in my future.”
“Oh yes, you do.”
“Excellent.” His fingers traced the features of my face. “You’re blushing.”
“How can you possibly know that?”
“There’s heat right here.” His thumb trailed over my cheek. “I loved making you blush, watching your cheeks turn all rosy.”
“Now you feel it.”
“Yes, almost as good. Thank you for coming with me.”
“I’d like to come again.”
“I was hoping you would.”
Wrapping his arm around my shoulders, we started down the stairs. “I’ve been thinking . . .” I said.
“A dangerous pastime.”
I punched him in the gut playfully. He used to say that to me all the time growing up.
“You hit harder.” At least that’s what I think he said, since he was laughing.
“Anyway, I think it’s time to properly welcome Simon to the family. What do you say?”
He looked downright wicked in response. “Oh, I think that is a brilliant idea.”
“We can get started as soon as we get home.”
His arm on me tightened. “Yeah, home.”
“Are you serious?” Mrs. T looked conflicted, not knowing if she should laugh or discipline Kane and me. “You do realize that you are all grown adults.”
The way Kane’s head turned to mine like he was confused, the same very way he did when we were kids, made me roar with laughter. His face was so serious, as if we were discussing the cure for cancer.
“Come on, please?” Again Kane was talking just like he used to when we were younger; that particular voice had always worked and, as it happened, it still did.
“Fine.”
Kane grabbed my hand as we ran out the back door.
At dinner, Kane and I sat at the chairs closest to the doorway. Mrs. T placed Simon’s potpie in front of him. “It’s tradition in our house to break off the top crust. My homemade churn butter is just delicious with that warm crust.”
“That does sound good. You guys aren’t eating?” Simon asked, but he wasn’t really that interested, because he loved food. The fact that we weren’t eating was of no matter.
“No, we ate on the way home from the hospital,” I lied.
“God, this smells really great, Mrs. T.”
Kane’s hand was wrapped around mine; I was supposed to squeeze it when Simon pulled off the crust. And as Kane had done when he was a kid, Simon lifted the crust, and then his eyes went wide and he looked across the table, but Kane and I were already halfway out the door.
“What the fuc—Teagan!”
He was in pursuit, pie in hand, but there was no way I was wearing worms. Kane and I had grown up in that house; we knew every room. We tucked into a small room off another room. “How long do you think he’ll look?” Kane asked.
“Not long, maybe five minutes, before he’s back in the kitchen sweet talking Mrs. T into something to eat.”
“So we’ve got some time,” Kane said cryptically.
“For what?”
And then he was kissing me. It started off as fun but quickly turned hot. His hands on my bare thighs curled my toes as he moved my skirt up my legs. As he lifted me, my legs wrapped around his waist, and my arms sought his neck, pulling him closer. Sucking his tongue into my mouth, I stroked it with my own. Pressing me back against the wall, one of his hands left my body to work his zipper. He slid into me, and I yanked my mouth from his, bit my lip, closed my eyes, and rode the waves of pleasure. Tightening my thighs, my calves pressing against his ass, I urged him to go deeper, move faster, and when I came, he swallowed my cry just as his own orgasm burned through him.
We found Simon after our interlude and, as I suspected, he was eating with the others, completely undisturbed by the worm potpie. We apologized for the trick. He forgave us after some posturing. Much later, we all went off to bed. But as soon as Simon disappeared into his room, we snuck out to stand just outside his door. Five minutes after he closed his door, Simon screamed, “I am going to kill you, Teagan.”
We ran back to my room and slammed and locked the door.
“What number was that?” Kane asked.
“Kane 226.”
A toad in the bed—classic.
Kane
I didn’t know if I wanted to follow through with this. Tea and I were parked down the street from my mom’s new home. Whatever had caused my mom to run from me, she was thrilled at the idea of seeing me again. I wasn’t on the same page. She had left me and now she had a new life. No children—I think if there had been children, I wouldn’t have reached out to her. To leave your kid only to have more, no, I wouldn’t have understood that. The fact that Tea had asked about children when she had spoken to Mr. Lawson just showed how well she knew me.
Without having to ask her, Tea was describing my mom’s house to me. “It’s a small Cape, painted white with black shutters. There’s a small postage-stamp lawn with gardens and a seminew-looking blue car in the driveway. It’s cozy.”
I loved that she did that, brought me into the scene without having to be asked. She knew exactly what I needed.
“Are you ready, or do you want a few more minutes?” she asked.
“No, I think I’m ready.”
“Okay.” I heard her car door open, so I opened mine too, holding the door for Zeus. We waited for her to come around the car. She handed me Zeus’s leash, taking my other hand and linking our fingers. We started down the street.
“There are about ten houses on each side of the street. It’s a small little neighborhood off one of the major roads that runs through the town. It’s lined with maple trees, the leaves all red now. There are a few kids playing: some at a basketball net that’s set up on the curb in front of one of the houses, and others are riding their bikes or playing ball. Several yards are fenced in, many with dogs who look like they want to jump the fences so they can play. We’re going to cross the street now.”
Her hold on my hand tightened, and, as much as I loved the gesture, I also felt bitter that she needed to guide me, that I wasn’t able to do it myself. It was stupid, but, of all the people in my life, I wanted to be strong for her, wanted her to be able to rely on me.
Her next words shouldn’t have surprised me, but they did. “I love you blind or sighted, so stop overthinking it.”
It was my turn to ask, “How did you know what I was thinking?”
“I’ve known you since you were eleven. Plus, your hand stiffened a bit in mine. I knew you were having a negative thought, probably about me needing to help you across the street like a little old lady.”
“Little old lady?”
“Well, I imagine whatever you’re thinking isn’t very flattering to you. But you should know, Kane, a person looking at us would see two people in love walking their dog.”
I just knew the face I was getting, had seen it countless times growing up. In that moment, it really hit me: She was back, she was with me, she was my Tea again. Emotions tightened my voice, turning it rough. “Glad it’s you walking me across the street.”
Clearly she liked what I’d said, “Me too. We’re just at their driveway. There are three steps to reach their front door. I’ll let Zeus take over.” Her voice had turned warm, with a husky edge that lit a fire in me.
Zeus was amazing. I had been dead set against the idea when Mrs. Marks had suggested it. I’d been in denial, believing I could get along just as well as I had when I was sighted. Now I didn’t know what I’d do without him. Smart and loyal, he had kept me company and made the darkness seem not quite as dark. Reaching the door, I felt Tea at my side.
“You ready?” she asked.
“Yeah.”
I heard Tea knock, then heard the sound of feet coming from down the hall, the rate and clip of them suggesting the person was excited. Then the sound of the lock disengaging, the swoosh of air as the door opened, and the subtle scent of her perfume—a scent that took me back to when I was a kid. Memories bombarded me; luckily Tea had a hold of my hand, or I’d have likely been swept away by the rush of them.
“Kane?” I never forgot the sound of her voice. And though I had recently heard it over the phone, it wasn’t the same as hearing it in person.
“Mom.”
Her voice pitched deeper; I could hear the tears in it. “Sweetheart, are you blind?”
Again, she used an endearment for me; rarely did she call me Kane. “It’s a long story. Mom, this is Tea.”
“Hello, Mrs. Nesbit. It’s very nice to meet you. And this is Zeus.”
“Please, come inside.”
Tea led me inside, her soft voice guiding me through the house, describing what she was seeing. We settled in a room painted a pale blue with Queen Anne–style furniture. I had no idea what Queen Anne–style furniture was, but I didn’t mention that. Apparently, a tray was already set on the table with iced tea and cookies.
“The sofa is right behind you—feel it on the back of your legs?”
“Yep, thanks Tea.”
Once settled, Tea sitting pressed right up against me on one side and Zeus on the other, I heard my mom offering me a glass of iced tea.
“Please.” Something cool and wet to help ease the dryness in my throat sounded good.
When she touched me, guiding the glass into my hand, a sharp pain erupted in my chest and my eyes stung. I didn’t realize until that moment how much I had missed my mother’s touch, even for something so simple as handing me a glass. I took a sip and found the table with my free hand to place the glass down.
“Please, you must tell me what happened.” Her voice sounded a bit hysterical, and I understood. It had to be a shock to see your child so many years later and so altered. So I summed up the nearly two decades that had passed, everything from Tea’s arrival to the fire to her return. And in sharing my story, I realized that every major moment had been with Tea. I wanted Tea to share all my major moments, and I was glad she was there with me then. She must have realized the same thing, because her warm hand found mine, and she held it tightly. I wished I could see her face in that moment, so I touched her with my free hand, along her lips that were tilted slightly up, along her cheeks that curved a bit from her smile, along the small indents near her eyes that were smiling right along with her lips, along the silky brows that were arched every so slightly.
“I like to see you smile.”
She pressed her face on my shoulder, sending a dampness through my shirt. Unlinking our fingers, I moved my arm around her shoulders and pulled her against me.
“You’re beautiful together.” I had completely forgotten my mom was watching us.
“I worried, after I left, but Mrs. Marks assured me she would take care of you. It looks as if she did.”
Bitterness pierced the moment, reminding me of why I was there. “Why did Mrs. Marks agree to take me?”
“I suppose I need to explain why I left. I didn’t want to go. I loved you so much, but I was ill. My bipolar disorder was not under control. I’d take my meds, but they made me feel so out of it. I really thought I could control the swings, that I didn’t need the meds. I’d go off, and everything would be great, and then I’d drop, sink far lower than I ever had before. I worked at Raven’s Peak, and one day, when I knew the others were gone for the day, I was on the cliff. I planned to walk right off it. Mrs. Marks hadn’t gone off with the others; she had stayed behind to watch me. She was the one to stop me; she brought me back into the house and called my doctor. I thought she was going to have me arrested, I couldn’t blame her if she had, but instead we talked about her son.”
That came as news. “Mrs. Marks has a son?”
“She probably doesn’t talk about it because it’s too painful, but I know she wouldn’t mind me sharing with you what she shared with me. She had a son. She had him later in life after a brief affair. The man didn’t last, but the way her face lit up when she talked about her son, she had clearly been thrilled to learn she was having a baby. When he reached his early teens, he started showing the early signs of schizophrenia. It was years later that he went off his meds, because they made him feel like mine made me feel. The hallucinations got so bad that he ended up killing himself. He hanged himself in his room.”
So that was why she had those odd sad days growing up, every year on the same day. That day must have been the anniversary of his birthday or of his death. Tea must have realized the same thing, since I heard her soft gasp.
“She didn’t want to see the same thing happen, couldn’t bear the thought of someone else losing their battle with their own demons. She paid closer attention to me, making sure I was seeing my doctor, urging my doctors to make sure they found the drug combination that didn’t make me feel so out of it. Everyone at Raven’s Peak took a more active role with you—Mrs. Marks never told them why. She didn’t need to, because they just loved spending time with you, so I had some space to find my balance.
The day you fell down the stairs, I had gone off my meds again. It was my day off, and we were home. We were playing, and I pushed you. I hadn’t meant to, and you probably don’t remember. All you remember was the fun we were having. I called her, before I even called nine-one-one. I hadn’t hurt myself—I’d hurt my beautiful son. I will never forget the look on your face, staring at me in such pain, wanting me to make it go away. And I was the reason you were in that pain. I waited until I knew you were going to be okay. I visited you when you were sleeping, signed over my parental rights, and then two days later I committed myself. Never again would I put you at risk. Mrs. Marks and the others had raised you with me, so it was never a question that she would adopt you.”
“Why did you stay away? Why didn’t you ever try to see me?”
“I thought you were better off, safer, without me. And you were so young. I really believed you would forget me, that I would become just a distant memory. I didn’t trust myself around you—even having the support of Mrs. Marks and the others, I’d still brought harm to you. What if the next time I did more than break your leg? I couldn’t bear it.”
“I spent my life wondering why my own mother didn’t want me.”
“Telling you would have made you seek me out. I know you well enough to know that, and I wouldn’t have been able to stay away if I’d seen you. Me being near you was not in your best interest.”
It was on my tongue to tell her off, to rage at her thoughtlessness. In trying to keep me safe, she had ended up doing more damage. But, feeling Tea against me, I couldn’t. I had done to her exactly what my mom had done to me. My intentions had been in the right place too, and yet I’d ended up hurting the one person I loved most in the world.
“As much as I would like to argue the stupidity of your decision, since I also exhibited the same idiotic thinking with Tea, I can’t. Are you happy with your life now?”
“Warren and I met in group. He’s wonderful, kind, and patient. He was one of the rotating therapists, and we started dating when he rotated out. He keeps me grounded, and I like to believe I help him with letting his hair down. He disagreed with my wish to stay out of your life. Argued until he was blue in the face that I needed to reach out to you. He was thrilled when he learned of your call, and he was very eager to meet you, but we thought for this first meeting, it should just be me.
“There’s been a hole in my heart that could never be filled, Kane. I want you to know that. Mrs. Marks sent me your school pictures every year; I have them hanging in my room. Seeing you grow through the years, knowing you were happy, made me happy. She told me about Teagan, how quickly you bonded, how you were always there for each other. It gave me solace, knowing something good came from all the bad.”
I couldn’t argue with her on that. Tea wasn’t just something good—she was everything.
“Can you stay for dinner?”
I felt Tea’s agreement in the way she moved into my side, settling to be there for a while. I held her closer. “We’d like that.”