Chapter Seventeen
Rider
When I got home from work, I went straight up to the master bedroom. I’d recovered from being sick the day before, but I was still low energy from the pregnancy. I decided a warm shower was just what I needed, so I lit a cinnamon scented candle, stripped, and climbed under the hot water, letting go of the day’s stress. I washed my hair and smiled as I remembered how sweet Jax had been with me last night. I was beginning to believe he might actually love me. He’d been so worried when I was sick. But it hadn’t just been concern for our baby, he’d been equally worried about me. That was the best feeling in the world. He’d held me the entire night, kissing and stroking me. I’d never had an alpha who put me first, or who seemed to care more about my happiness than his own. Jax treated me like I was special, and it gave me the courage to believe in us.
I got out of the shower and dried off, dressing in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. I wiped the steam from the mirror and smiled at my reflection. My cheeks were pink, and I looked elated. I couldn’t remember ever being as contented as I was lately, and it was all because of Jax. For the first time in forever, my future looked unbelievably bright. I grinned at myself, running my hands through my damp hair.
I moved to the door and tried to open it. The knob turned, but the door seemed stuck. I frowned and tried again, wondering what was going on. I’d never noticed the door having any issues in the past. I pushed on the wood, huffing and trying to open the door but it didn’t budge. I stopped what I was doing, and stood with my hands on my hips, trying to comprehend why the door seemed stuck.
That was when I smelled smoke.
At first I thought I had to be imagining the acrid scent, but when it gradually became stronger, panic gripped me. Was the house on fire? I started banging on the door, trying harder to force it open. I shoved with all my strength, but the house had been built when solid, heavy doors were the norm. Scared, I pushed my shoulder against the door and gave a big heave, coughing because thick gray smoke filtered in through the crack under the door.
Panic gripped me as the idea of being trapped in a smoke filled bathroom became a terrifying reality. I began throwing my weight against the door, panting and gagging on the smoke. Cursing, I tried to calm myself. Freaking out wasn’t going to help anything. I pressed my mouth to the crack of the door and started yelling. “Help! Fire!” I clutched my throat as smoke burned my eyes. “Jax? Anybody?”
I continued to shove on the door, becoming more and more terrified. I frantically examined the hinges, wondering if I could somehow take the door off. When the door suddenly swung open, Jax stood there coughing, and beating at the flames with his jacket. “Get out of the room, Rider,” he growled.
Coughing, I grabbed at his arm. “Not without you.”
Ricardo, the gardener came running into the room, holding a fire extinguisher. “What the hell is going on?” The older man exclaimed, spraying white foam on the flames that licked at the curtains, and spread up the wall next to the bathroom.
I started coughing again, stumbling sideways, and Jax dragged me out of the room, cursing under his breath. Once in the hallway, it became evident the fire was only in the bedroom. Ricardo continued to spray the extinguisher, as Jax led me toward the stairs. Both of us were hacking as we made our way through the smoke that filtered from our room.
Mrs. Lane was at the bottom of the stairs looking horrified. “What on Earth happened?” Her voice was shrill, and her eyes wide.
“I don’t know,” I said, still coughing roughly. The smoke detectors at the top of the landing were beeping loudly. “I lit a candle, but it was on the dresser in a glass holder.” We made our way down the stairs.
“Thank goodness you’re all right.” Mrs. Lane gasped.
Leaning on the banister, I said, “I couldn’t get the door open.”
Jax nodded, looking confused. “Yeah, it was jammed.”
“Jesus.” I shuddered.
Jax put his arm around my shoulders. “You okay?”
“Yeah, I think so.” My legs were shaky, and I wheezed a little from the smoke.
Ricardo came stomping down the stairs, looking puzzled. “The fires out. What happened?”
“I don’t know.” I frowned. “I took a shower, and next thing I knew the bedroom was on fire.”
Pressing her hands to her cheeks, Mrs. Lane looked pale. “Could the candle have fallen off the dresser?”
“I don’t see how.” I met her gaze. “I don’t understand why I couldn’t open the door.”
“Yeah, same.” Jax pulled his brows tight.
“Is there much damage?” Mrs. Lane asked weakly. The smell of smoke filled the house, and a haze hung at the top of the stairs.
“Looked like most of the damage is right outside the bathroom door. We’ll need to call a fire restoration service.” Ricardo shook his head. “The fire was concentrated near the master bath, but the smoke damage will affect the whole room. I opened a window to help clear out the smoke smell.”
I blew out a shaky breath, feeling uneasy. I met Jax’s gaze. “Shit. I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. I’m always careful to keep the candles in a holder.”
He hardened his jaw. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
“Yeah, that’s the most important thing,” Ricardo said gruffly. “Carpet and curtains can be replaced.”
I stared up the long curving stairway, feeling rattled. “I’m glad you came when you did.”
Jax met my gaze. “I heard you yelling.”
“Thank, goodness.” Mrs. Lane pressed her hands to her cheeks.
I leaned on the banister, trying not to think about what could have happened if Jax hadn’t heard me.
“I’ll make up Rider’s old room for you tonight since you certainly won’t be sleeping in the master bedroom anytime soon.” She bit her lip.
“Thanks.” Jax tightened his arm around me, a deep line between his brows.
“God, I feel horrible that I caused a fire.” I winced. “I’m so sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.” Jax smiled weakly.
“Yeah, it kind of is.” I grimaced. Now that the fire was out, the smoke was clearing, but I was still mortified.
Ricardo blew out a tired breath. “Want me to call the restoration company now, Boss?”
“If you wouldn’t mind?” Jax responded.
“Not at all.” Ricardo met my gaze. “I’m glad you’re okay, Rider.”
“Thanks.”
“Do you want me to try and clean up the room?” Mrs. Lane asked.
“No. We’ll let the professionals handle that.” Jax smiled at her. “Thank you though for offering.”
“Of course.” She patted his shoulder. “Well, I suppose I should go check on dinner. I left the sauce on the stove and we don’t need another fire.”
“Oh, God.” I winced.
Once Ricardo and Mrs. Lane had gone, I said, “I feel like an idiot.”
“No. Accidents happen.”
“I’m always so careful with candles.”
He nodded. “Could the holder have cracked and leaked hot wax?”
“Maybe.” I frowned. “But, why wouldn’t the door open?”
“I don’t know. This is an old house, maybe the moisture from the shower made the wood swell.”
“I suppose that’s possible. Jesus,” I rasped. “I was so scared.”
His expression softened, and he tugged me closer. “I’m not going to let anything hurt you, Rider.”
I didn’t speak, I just enjoyed the strength of his arms around me.
Ricardo came back in the house and told Jax that the restoration company was going to come first thing in the morning. After that, Jax and I went into the living room where he had a whiskey and I drank lemonade. We sat on the couch with his arm around me, and I rested my head on his shoulder. I didn’t want to fixate on how scared I’d been earlier, but it was hard to push away the fear. I’d been reveling in how happy I was, and the next thing I’d known I’d been terrified me and our unborn baby were about to die.
“I’m not sure if this is a good time or not…” Jax’s voice was gruff. “But I kind of need to talk to you about something.”
I sat up and he dropped his arm from around me. “What?”
He pressed his lips together. “I’m not sure how to begin.”
I didn’t like the tense expression on his face. “Is it about us?”
“Yes.”
My pulse sped up because he didn’t look happy. “Is it bad?”
He frowned. “I’m not sure.”
I grimaced. “You’re not sure?”
“It kind of depends on what your answers are.”
That wasn’t a lot of help. “Well, you can ask me whatever you need to. I don’t have any secrets from you.” I guess that wasn’t completely true. I hadn’t shared that I was in love with him yet. But his expression was way too grim for me to feel comfortable enough to tell him that.
He set his drink down, and he shifted to face me. “Are you still in contact with Dale?”
I scowled. “Dale? My ex?”
“Yes.”
“Um… no.”
He frowned, searching my face intently. “Not at all?”
I shook my head. “Why would I be?”
“So, you haven’t talked to him on the phone?”
I laughed uneasily. “We broke up. Why would we talk on the phone?”
He clenched his jaw, but then he said softly, “Maybe you still have feelings for him.”
I widened my eyes. “What?”
“You were with him four years. Your feelings must have been pretty deep.”
I scowled. “They were at the time. But I’m not carrying a torch for him, if that’s what you’re getting at?”
He almost looked relieved, but some tension still remained around his jaw. “You don’t regret marrying me?”
My lips parted in surprise. “Why are you asking me these things? Have I done something that makes you think I regret marrying you?”
“No.” He sighed.
“Then why are you suddenly worried about Dale?”
“I just… heard some rumors that maybe you still loved him.” His cheeks were pink and he avoided my gaze.
“From who?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
I gave a hard laugh. “It does if this person actually has you doubting my feelings for you.”
His dark gaze returned to mine. “So… you have feelings for me?”
My face warmed. “Maybe.
“If you do, this would be the perfect time to tell me.”
I frowned. “Why?”
His stare was intense. “I guess I’d love to know if you want more than just a business deal with me.”
“Well… I didn’t expect it to be more… not at first.”
“Me neither.” He dropped his gaze, his lashes were dark against his cheeks.
“I wish you’d tell me who told you I was talking to Dale. They’re lying.”
He flicked his gaze to mine. “I like to think they are.”
“Did they tell you something else about me?”
He grimaced. “Yeah.”
“What?”
“They said you’ve been drinking alcohol.”
“Seriously?” I glanced at the lemonade I held. “I haven’t had a drink since I found out I was pregnant.”
“I know I haven’t seen you drink anything,” he mused.
“Yeah. That’s because I’m not drinking booze. I’m pregnant. Why would I endanger the baby like that?”
“I didn’t think you would.” He looked relieved. “But this other person was rather convincing.”
I shook my head. “Would this person happen to be named Emilia?”
He didn’t respond to my question, he simply watched me intently.
As frustrated as I was, I knew this was my opportunity to tell him how I felt about him. I was terrified to do it, but also almost relieved to finally say the words. If he didn’t love me too, it was best I found that out now. “I’d never do anything to hurt our child, and I’m not in love with Dale anymore.”
“No?” Something similar to hope fluttered through his eyes.
“No.” I swallowed hard, my heart banging against my ribs. “I’m… I’m in love with you.”
He closed his eyes and then opened them. His gaze glittered and a slow smile spread across his lips. “You love me?”
I shrugged, feeling breathless. “I know that wasn’t in the contract.”
“You love me, Rider?” His voice was husky.
“You must know I do. I feel like it’s so obvious.” My cheeks were warm.
He took my hand, and he raised it to his lips. Pressing his mouth to my skin, my flesh tingled and I sighed. He smiled, his eyes heated. “I didn’t think I would ever love again. But then I met you.”
My pulse spiked as his words sank in. “I hope that means what I think it means.”
He tugged me closer and he kissed me; his lips soft and searching. I sighed against his mouth, pushing closer. Just the touch of his lips made me desperate to be nearer to him. He cupped my face and deepened the kiss, his tongue exploring the recesses of my mouth. He lifted his head, his eyes yellow brown with need. “I love you, Rider. I can’t help myself.”
“Are you sure?” It was hard not to think back to all the times he’d assured me he’d never love anyone but Thomas.
As if he read my mind, a sad smile touched his mouth. “I’ll always love Thomas. But he’s not between us anymore.”
“I understand he’ll always be in your heart. But I like to think maybe there’s room for me too.”
“There is.” He sighed. “I want you to love me. I want you to be with me, with or without a contract.”
Gathering my courage, I said, “I tried not to fall in love with you, Jax. I really did. But it didn’t work.”
“Good.” He smiled and whispered against my ear. “Because I love you, Rider. I can’t wait to be the alpha you’ve always wanted.”
I sighed. “You already are, Jax. You always were.”