Chapter Eight
Jax
I’d done the right thing, turning down Rider’s offer of sex last night. But it hadn’t been easy. I truly didn’t want to use him, or drive him away by moving too quickly. But rejecting his offer of spending the night together had been one of the hardest things I’d done in a while. My bed had felt way too big and empty, the sheets cold against my skin. I hadn’t shared my personal bed with an omega since Thomas. When I’d needed sex, we’d gone to their place or a hotel. The thought of bringing some strange omega into my bed had seemed all wrong. But when I thought of Rider, it didn’t seem like a bad thing.
It seemed like a natural thing.
I stretched, aware I had morning wood. Was it any wonder? Rider had offered himself to me, and I’d said wait. My mind and heart had known that was the right thing to do. But my body? Oh, my body had been aching with need ever since. I slipped my hand into my pajama bottoms, wrapping my fingers around my swollen cock. As I stroked myself, I thought about Rider’s mouth yesterday at the ceremony. The warmth and taste of him was perfect. I licked my lips, wishing he was in my bed. One day soon he would be. He’d be next to me every morning and I could roll over and take him when I wanted. When he wanted.
I groaned and rolled my hips, imagining Rider begging me to fuck him. I’d spread his legs and look into his beautiful green eyes as I sank in deep. No condom needed either. I shivered, fantasizing about the tight heat of his hole gripping my bare cock as I fucked him hard. Would he be noisy during sex? Would he beg for me to fuck him harder and harder? Sweat beaded on my upper lip as I stroked my dick. Precum dribbled from the tip, and I used that to slick my length. I’d fuck him every day. Every, fucking hour if I could. I moaned and rocked into my fingers, breathing hard as my orgasm hovered just out of reach. I tightened my grip, needing more friction. I couldn’t wait to touch him, feel his sinewy body trembling and shuddering undermine as I came inside him.
Legally, he was mine. But I couldn’t wait until he was mine physically too. My mouth watered as I imagined sinking my teeth into his neck, and claiming him officially as my omega. I rolled over on my stomach and began humping against the sheets, feeling desperate. My thigh muscles burned as I thrust into the mattress, picturing Rider whimpering under me as I filled him with my seed. Oh, fuck yes. Fuck, yes. I’d flood his pink hole and get him pregnant.
With a hoarse cry, my cock jerked and spilled hot and wet into the sheets, every inch of me quaking with pleasure. I pumped my dick, squeezing the last drops of release into the cotton bedding, still panting and quivering with ecstasy. Eventually, my body quieted, and I lay there weak and spent. I was satiated for now, but even more eager to make this fantasy a reality soon. I knew Rider wanted me too, and it was only a matter of time before he gave into that need. I’d be here, only too happy to welcome him into my bed. When the time was right.
I showered and dressed, then I went down to my office where Mrs. Lane had a tray with coffee and fresh baked croissants waiting for me. I didn’t know if Rider was up yet, but I had calls to make so I focused on that. It was after lunch before I finished my tasks. I’d let the wedding details distract me too much the last week and I’d fallen behind. The tech companies my family owned were well oiled machines, and thankfully I didn’t have to run them, I just had to keep up on what was happening. The rental properties were a little more hands on. We had a management company that was supposed to handle all the day to day issues that arose, but it sometimes seemed like keeping on top of the management company was a full time job. They loved to collect their money, but not actually handle the problems. Nothing I hated more than getting phone calls from tenants, and utility companies, simply because the management company wasn’t doing their job.
When my stomach growled, I decided it was time to quit for the day. I assumed by now Rider was up, and I wanted to spend some time with him so he didn’t feel isolated. When I entered the kitchen, I found Rider talking with Mrs. Lane. My pulse sped up at how nice he looked in a white shirt and fitted jeans. He looked more rested, and almost happy.
“Good afternoon,” Rider said, giving me a shy smile.
“Afternoon.” I met his gaze. “How did you sleep?”
“Like I didn’t have a care in the world.” He laughed.
“You must have been exhausted, you poor dear.” Mrs. Lane sighed. “Such a stressful day yesterday, moving and getting married.”
Mrs. Lane knew that our marriage had been arranged. I didn’t see the point in hiding the truth from people I was close to, since I wasn’t about to pretend I was in love with Rider. First off, I wasn’t a great actor, and secondly, there was no need. It was no surprise the Hamilton’s needed to continue the family name. Most of the staff had been with us for years and they all knew about Thomas. They’d witnessed the heartbreak first hand, so they were well aware I wasn’t looking for anyone to replace what I’d had with Thomas.
“I’m glad you were able to relax.” I smiled. “Hopefully you had breakfast?”
“Yep.” He nodded. “Mrs. Lane insisted on making me eggs, bacon and toast.”
She was busy rolling dough on the island and she laughed. “I like feeding people. What can I say?”
I met Rider’s gaze. “I was thinking we could have lunch out, and then get the tree?”
“Sure.” He looked pleased.
“Great. I’m ready when you are.”
Mrs. Lane chuckled. “I can’t remember the last time you took off in the middle of the day to do something not work related.”
My face warmed. “That’s not true. I do things.”
“Pfft. Who do you think you’re fooling? The only time you do anything is because it’s connected to either a charity event, or the Hamilton businesses.” She sighed. “There’s no shame in working hard, but you do need to find time to enjoy life too.”
Aware of Rider’s curious gaze, I shrugged. “Maybe I’ll work on that.”
“Good.” She sprinkled flower on the raw dough. “Will you boys be back for supper?”
“Yes.” I moved to the door, opening it for Rider.
“Be safe,” she called distractedly.
Once outside, we made our way to my car. Rider eyed it doubtfully. “Are you sure you’re willing to tie a tree to this thing? Maybe we should take my car. If the paint gets scratched on my car, no one would notice.”
I glanced over at his small, dented compact, I grimaced. “No. My car is bigger.”
He laughed. “Well, true. But the tree isn’t riding inside. I always put my tree on the top of my car. It’s plenty big.”
“I’m sure it is, but my car is more comfortable.” I continued toward my vehicle.
“Okay, but don’t blame me if you get a scratch.”
“I won’t.” We got in the car, and I started the engine. He didn’t speak as he buckled in, and when we’d pulled out onto the main road, and he still hadn’t said a word, I frowned. “Everything okay?”
“Yep.”
I gave him a quick glance. “You sure about that?”
“Yep.”
I frowned. “Rider, obviously something is bugging you.”
He shifted toward me, his eyes narrowed. “Did you not want to take my car because you’d be embarrassed to be seen in it?”
“No. I wanted to take my car because it’s bigger, and I like driving.”
“You like being in control.”
“I like driving, Rider.”
He shrugged and stared out the window.
I rolled my eyes. “Do you want to go back and get your car?”
“No.”
“You sure? I don’t want the silent treatment just because we took my vehicle.”
He shook his head. “No. Don’t go back.”
We continued on, an uneasy silence in the car. I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant I’d planned on having lunch at, and shut off the engine. I turned to face him, feeling frustrated. “What’s really bothering you?”
“Nothing.”
“Rider, we need to communicate with each other. I don’t know you well enough to guess what’s wrong.”
He slid his gaze to mine. “I’m used to making decisions.”
“Okay.”
“You tend to make them for me.”
“You’ve been living with me one day. How can this be a thing already?” I sounded exasperated.
“You made all the decisions for the wedding. You never asked my opinion even once about any of it.” He sighed. “Even this restaurant. Is there some reason we didn’t discuss where we’d have lunch?”
I frowned. “Do you not want to eat here?”
“That’s not the point. I’m an adult, I like to make decisions too. It’s not just you anymore, Jax. It’s us.”
I sucked in a steadying breath. “Where would you like to eat? We can go there.”
He crossed his arms. “This is fine.”
I couldn’t help it and I laughed, and his lips twitched too. “Tell me what is actually bothering you. Please.”
He sighed. “The way you looked at my car… it made me feel… like you think I’m less than you.”
His comment shocked me. “What?”
He shrugged. “You’re like this sleek thoroughbred, and I’m the dull gray mare they bring in to breed.”
“Okay, that is just bullshit. You’re not a dull anything.”
He laughed. “I notice you didn’t argue with my description of you.”
I smiled grudgingly. “Rider, obviously I wouldn’t have coaxed you to be my omega if I felt you were… unworthy.” I studied him, amazed he could think he was anything but exceptional. “You’re smart, funny… sexy. If I insulted your car, I’m sorry. Maybe I am a snob when it comes to cars. But I don’t think I’m better than you. Not even a little.”
“You sure about that?” he asked softly.
“Yes. I’m richer than you, not better than you. I have money because I was born into it. You’re a teacher. That’s completely respectable. Plus, everything you’ve done, you’ve earned yourself. That’s something to be proud of.”
“I guess.”
I chuffed, and leaned toward him. “I want you to have my babies. Do you think I’d want that if I thought you were… beneath me?”
“Probably not.”
“No probably about it. When it comes to my blood line, I’m a total snob.” I smirked.
He laughed and the sound of it warmed my body.
“If I get bossy, just say something to me. Don’t get mad at me. I can’t help it, Rider. I’ve been alone a long time. I’ll try to be better about that stuff.”
I was surprised when he reached out and grabbed my hand. The feel of his skin on mine made my pulse pick up speed, but I tried to hide my reaction to him.
He met my eyes, his gaze open and sincere. “I’m sorry. I’m so far out of my comfort zone, I’m acting nuts.” He rubbed his thumb across my skin, sending tingles along my flesh. “It’s like… I’m yours, but I’m not, you know?”
I frowned. “No. I don’t know.”
“We’re in between. I’m your omega, but you haven’t done the things an alpha does when he takes an omega as his. I think it’s messing with my head.”
I swallowed hard, my mouth going dry. “You mean… you mean because I haven’t claimed you?”
His cheeks seemed pink and he nodded. “Yeah. I think instinctively I feel like I don’t belong in your home because… all we have is a piece of paper saying I do.”
“I’m trying to be respectful.”
“I know.”
I narrowed my gaze. “Do you not want that?”
He winced, and clenched his jaw. “I do and I don’t.”
Feeling confused, I said, “I don’t know what to do here.”
He pulled his hand away. “I’m confusing you even more.” He opened his door, and slid out.
I sat there watching him climb out of the car, my cock warm and hard, and my brain muddled. He was mad at me for making all the decisions, but it felt like he was also upset that I wasn’t taking charge and claiming him. I didn’t know how to proceed. I got out of the car, willing my dick to go down. Our conversation had definitely stirred something inside of me, but I wasn’t sure what to do about it.
“Let’s just have a nice lunch and get the tree. We can talk about all that other stuff later,” he said, as he met my gaze sheepishly.
“Sure. But we do need to talk because I don’t know what the hell you want from me.”
He winced at my sharp tone. “Later. We can talk at home.”
I nodded, and we headed to the restaurant. Lunch was awkward. We barely spoke, and I couldn’t seem to keep my eyes off of him. His conversation earlier had me aroused, and I wasn’t sure that was what he wanted. It was in my nature to take charge, but he was giving me mixed signals. I didn’t want to push for sex and have him freaked out because I was being too controlling again.
Things got a little better at the Christmas tree lot. Rider was so excited it was hard not to get carried along with him. His eyes sparkled and his cheeks were flushed as he flitted from tree to tree, eying them carefully. Eventually he settled on a ten-foot noble, and he looked to me for approval. “What do you think?” he asked.
“I like it.”
“Should we get this one? Is it too big?”
“We should get the one you want.” I crossed my arms, giving him a pointed look. “You make this decision.”
He laughed gruffly. “I want your input.”
“It’s a beautiful tree.”
He nodded, rubbing his chin. “It is, isn’t it?”
He looked so serious, as if he was making a life or death decision. I couldn’t help but smile and he noticed.
“What’s so funny?” He asked suspiciously.
“You.”
“Me?” He frowned.
“You’re very focused.”
He twisted his lips, as if to stifle a smile. “This is our first tree together. It’s a big deal.”
“I think this tree would look perfect in the front window of the living room. That’s where you wanted to put the tree, right?”
“Yes. I did say that.” He winced. “You don’t make all the decisions. I’m sorry. I don’t feel like myself so I’m being super touchy.”
“It’s fine.” I smiled, relieved he seemed more like his old self.
He linked his arm through mine, and we stared at the big tree in silence. The air was freezing, and a few snowflakes began to fall as we stood there. It was a nice moment, with Christmas music playing from a speaker nearby, and Rider’s warm body pressed against me. Something about the moment felt perfect, and for the first time I felt like we were a couple. Just an ordinary couple out picking our Christmas tree. Without really thinking, I slid my arm around his waist, and he rested his head on my shoulder.
“Yeah,” he said softly. “This is our tree.”