I strode next door to Alex’s, heedless of the time or the muggy night air against my skin. I dug for his key on my keychain, letting myself into his house. We’d all exchanged keys years ago, although there was rarely a need to use them. I grabbed my phone from my pocket, sending off a quick message to let them know where I was. We had all been at Max’s place when I had gotten the call; it wasn’t our usual hangout, but it had been convenient. We had found it difficult to continue to meet at Alex’s as we were all tempted to duck next door and see if we could find a reason to entice Emily over to play with us.

I had been in too much shock after the call to say much, while Max and Alex ranted and debated the legality of the move, assuring me they would be there to support me and we simply had to get through the meeting to get more details. I had waved them away, telling them I needed to take a walk to clear my head. Instead, I had found myself drawn to Emily’s house, drawn into a fight I hadn’t known I wanted.

“What the hell, Troy?” Max was breathless as he burst through the front door. “We’ve been out looking for you. We thought you got hit by a truck or something. You said you wanted a walk. What the hell are you doing here?” Alex quickly followed, shutting the door behind him. I headed for the kitchen, wrenching the fridge open and grabbing a few cans of beer. I tossed them behind me, hearing the smack of flesh against aluminum as the guys caught them. At least I knew I’d taught them well.

“We could have kept talking at Max’s place, Troy. We could have grabbed beers,” Alex said as he popped the top on his. I guzzled mine, my chest clenching. They were going to lose it when they realized I had confronted Emily already. “Come on, Troy, talk to us.”

“I know you love your job, but this isn’t the only school,” Max pointed out.

I barked out a derisive laugh, grabbing another can from the fridge and tossing my empty can into the sink. “You really think if I get fired for inappropriate behavior that it’s going to be easy to find another job? Especially around here? Think again.”

“You don’t know yet that they’re thinking of firing you,” Alex replied. “Everything at this point is circumstantial.”

I waved that away. “Circumstantial or not, it doesn’t matter. I’ve already lost my first main goal in life. When I was told I couldn’t play football anymore, a part of me cracked. I turned my focus to teaching, giving up on dreams I’d had since I was a kid. I was good enough to go pro.” I wasn’t trying to brag. Everyone had told me that. I had been thrilled when I hit college and big-time scouts began to notice me. I had wanted to make it through those four years, to see my name on that NFL contract. I hadn’t even made it two full seasons before my injury. “I put the same amount of focus into becoming a teacher that I did into football. I was constant, non-stop.”

“You were also lonely, depressed, and cranky as an old man,” Max tossed out, his voice dry.

“I love teaching.” My voice softened. It was hard to admit, but it was true. It had been far easier to voice this to Emmie than to these guys, despite the fact that I considered them my best friends. “It gives me a purpose, something to do with that knowledge I spent years gaining. I can’t imagine my life without it.”

“Who says you have to?” Alex asked, his voice as soft as mine. “You’re jumping to conclusions before they’ve been reached.”

“You consider all scenarios when you go into the courtroom,” I pointed out. “You have to imagine every potential outcome, everything they may throw against you. This is a small town. Our relationship with her is not normal. It was all only supposed to be temporary.”

“Woah.” Max nearly dropped his can. “You’re saying you’re not happy? You want out?”

I scrubbed at my hair, the short strands abrading my fingertips. “I don’t know if I want out. I don’t know that I have a choice, though. It’s not normal, guys. She was supposed to choose one of us, or we were supposed to choose her. She’s been right all along. How much longer can we keep this up?”

“Indefinitely.” Max’s words were hard. “I like her. We all like her. Why should we stop just because it’s a little different? We’re not hurting anyone.”

“We’re hurting ourselves!” I hurled my empty can at the wall, enjoying the echo it made when it smashed into it. “It’s not just me at risk here, I’m just the first. What do you think will happen when her kids hear about it? What will happen when someone gets online and starts making comments about her pseudonym? She won’t be anonymous for long, that’s for sure. She already has issues with people making comments against her, she’s alluded to it before. Think of what they’d say when they found out the kind of relationship she’s in. She’d be boycotted. She’d end up resenting us when she couldn’t pay her bills.”

“All of this is just speculation.” Alex’s voice was edging towards exasperated now, indicating how upset he clearly was. Very little ever phased him. He was as unflappable in his day to day life as he was in the courtroom.

“Oh, really? How about when it’s your jobs on the line? Attorneys have a morality code. Do you think whoever reported me to the school board would hesitate to report you to the disciplinary board?”

Max and Alex shared a look, and I realized they were finally getting what I was saying. “There’s nothing in the rules regarding personal relationships,” Max replied, the words slow and thoughtful. “Ethics and morality in regards to the Rules of Professional Conduct are vague. I doubt the Court would want to try and make a case out of it.”

I snorted. “Fine, even if you didn’t lose your law license over it. How long do you think it would take people to begin saying you lost a case because the judge was prejudiced against you for your lifestyle choice? How many clients do you think would drop you once it became common knowledge? How many scheming ex-clients would suggest that you made moves on them, trying to entice them into your wicked, twisted sex lives in order to put a damper on your name?” Neither answered me, both lost in thought.

“We built this relationship in a vacuum. We avoided physical and sexual affection as a group in public because we were all subconsciously aware of how this may look to others.”

“Troy, that’s jumping to conclusions,” Alex stated. “We’ve only gone out of the house as a group a few times, and our relationship is new. It’s not unexpected that we didn’t have much physical contact together. Even monogamous couples may not engage in public displays.”

“Are you saying you’re done? That you don’t want to do this relationship anymore?” Max threw the question at me.

I could only shrug. “Look, Emily has reservations too. When I told her about the school, she—” Alex cut me off with a sharp wave of his hand.

“What do you mean when you told Emily about the school?” Alex’s voice was low and hard as ice. He rarely let his temper out, but when he did, it was a dangerous thing. “None of us could get her to answer the phone. She said she was with Jenna and would talk to us later.”

I rubbed the back of my neck. “I went over there,” I admitted. Max and Alex swore. Alex kicked the door frame to his kitchen.

“Why would you do that? What did you say?” Alex was nearly shaking with rage at this point.

“I told her what the school said.” I knew my tone was defensive, but I couldn’t prevent myself. I had as much right to speak with her as they did. It was my relationship, and I would do as I pleased. If they wanted to coddle her later, they could. She had expressed doubts about us in the past, although not truly to me. Why was she allowed to be worried about how it affected her children, but I couldn’t have a panic attack over the idea that I may end up without a job?

“And?” Max’s blue eyes flashed as he ground the word out between his teeth.

“I told her I shouldn’t have come over. That I knew she was worried about our relationship with her kids as it was, and that I really couldn’t give her any answers until I knew what the school would say.”

“You just destroyed everything.” Alex’s voice was hard as granite, raspy as though he choked the words out. “I’ve lost everything before. I’m not going to lose Emily too. I’m not going to lose you either, damn it, even if it’s just to your temper. I told you I would help you with the job, handle the legal aspect if they tried to fire you over it. We always said that if one of us wanted to back out, then fine. You didn’t have to go and crush her to do that!”

“I didn’t crush her!” I shot back. “I just admitted I didn’t know what I wanted.”

“Without talking to us about it first!” Max shouted. “Without letting us be there to hold her hand. She adores you, you can see it in her eyes every time she looks at you. Did you at least let Jenna stay?”

Guilt began to worm its way into my chest, competing with the anger and fear currently raging inside of me. “I told her we wanted to speak privately.” My words were stiff and stilted.

“It’s almost three in the morning,” Alex muttered. “I don’t want to wake her kids up, but I don’t have a key.” He threaded his hands through his hair before turning to me, lines of stress carved deep into his face. “You wanted to be alone to think. Go be alone. I don’t want you in my house right now.”

I scoffed. “You’re seriously kicking me out? I’ve been there for you for years now, and you’re choosing her over me?” I knew the words were simply bait, that it wasn’t true, but I couldn’t resist. It was like the emotions inside of me needed a release like I needed to claw at them the way the feelings were clawing at me.

His blue eyes blazed. “Don’t be an asshole. You know that’s not what I’m saying. You’re being a complete jerk at the moment, and I don’t want you in my home. I’ll figure out how to put right everything you did to her. We’re friends, you know we’ll stick through anything with you. I’m just pissed as hell at how selfish you’re currently being. I get it, you’re mad. We were giving you an outlet, a listening ear, helping you plan. You chose to ignore all of that and go take your emotions out on a confused woman and leaving her vulnerable. Now, get the hell out of my house and don’t come back until that temper of yours is under control.” Max simply glared at me, unwavering beside Alex. I pushed past them and headed for the door.

The three of them were all living in some fairy tale right now. Everything had gone sideways, my entire life crashing down around my ears in just a few hours time. I was going to go home and get very, very drunk and sleep until this meeting. It was time to see what my future was going to hold.