I awoke slowly. I was aware of the body I was pressed against and the fact that I felt like a million bucks. I haven’t slept that well in months and my body was grateful. I lifted my head off of Bulls chest and snuck a peek at him. He stirred and his eyes opened confusion clear in them. When his eyes came to my face he smiled.
“Morning sugar.”
“Hey Bull.”
“You have drool on your face.” I blushed and used the back of my hand to wipe my face. When it came to the wetness on my chin I cringed. I must’ve slept really good.
“You stayed?” I asked.
He shrugged. “You didn’t really give me a choice. I tried to sneak out when you started snoring but you clung to me for dear life. I figured what the fuck and just went to sleep too.
I shook my head even more embarrassed. “I’m sorry… I just haven’t slept that well in a long time. I guess the fact I feel safe with you helped me out.” I admitted.
He chuckled. “Don’t worry about it, I get it.”
I settled back into him and watched T.V. I had no idea what was playing I just knew at the moment I felt content. That moment was short lived when the door opened and Lucifer entered with a plate of breakfast. His eyes immediately landed on us in the bed. Bulls arm was wrapped around me under the covers. I had my head on his chest and the blanket was pulled up to my neck. His free arm was behind his head allowing him to see the screen over my head. Lucifer’s eyes trailed to the side of the bed where Bull’s boots were then back to us. He dumped the plate on the dresser and his hands fell to his hips. His nostrils flared and his chest was heaving.
“What the fuck?” He asked.
Bull moved to get up but I gripped onto his shirt trying to hold him to me for protection. “Lu-“he began but was cut off.
“You two slept together?” His eyes flew to Bull. “You fucking slept with her?” he asked.
Bull opened his mouth to answer but I beat him to it. “Yes, he did sleep in here with me… so what?” I asked.
Lucifer let out a deep growl and stormed over to us in the bed. “So what?” he repeated as he descended on us. He gripped the blanket and tugged it off. “So what? Is you both die.” He threatened.
I shrank further into Bull. Lucifer successfully pulled the blanket off of us and stared. We were both fully dressed and Bull had already removed his arm from around me. I had on flannel pajamas and socks and Bull was still in his t-shirt and jeans with socks. He gripped Bull by the collar of his shirt and tugged him into a standing position. I jumped off the bed and flew to them. When Lucifer lifted his arm to strike I squeezed myself in the middle of them. I closed my eyes and held my breath waiting for the blow but it never came.
I opened my eyes slowly to see Lucifer peering at me. His eyes were almost black and his face was set in a snarl. “What are you doing?” I asked breathlessly.
“You fucking bitch. You’re going to cost me my best friend. I told you once before you were not going to ever fuck anyone in here and I meant it. I told you what would happen if you did, but here we are.” He spat.
I rolled my eyes and he growled. “We didn’t have sex, we literally slept together. I made him stay because I feel safe with him. He did me a favor keeping me company. He’s you’re best friend; you should know that he wouldn’t do that to you. You should also know that we don’t have that type of relationship. He’s one of my only friend in here and he actually cares about me.” I don’t know when I started but I was poking him in the chest as I spoke. He’d released Bull and was standing toe to toe with me glaring. My voice continued to rise. “Unlike you! You drag me back here and lock me away like… like… a convict or something. I’ve done nothing to you. NOTHING! And you’re torturing me… why?” I shoved him and then I shoved him again harder. “Why are you doing this?! Because I ran? Look at what you’re doing to me now; do you blame me for trying to avoid this?” I asked gesturing to the room. I lowered my voice to a whisper. “I don’t regret it, not one second of it. If I had a choice, I’d do it all again. Hell, I would’ve probably gone further, made sure you never found me. If I get a chance, I’d do it again in a heartbeat.”
I took a step back and held his eyes. “Bull, get the fuck out.” He demanded softly but strongly. I watched Bull leave the room with his head hanging low. As the door closed behind him I felt my safety net vanish just like that.
“You did nothing? Is that what you really fucking think?” He asked and I nodded. He exploded. “You did EVERY FUCKING THING! You fucking ran, with my baby after I warned you not to do anything stupid. Why do you think you have any fucking right to take that away from me?” he asked.
“Are you kidding me? Why do I have the right to take the baby in my stomach away from you?” I asked him thoroughly pissed off he thought he had any rights.
“NO ABELIE! YOU FUCKING TOOK YOU AWAY FROM ME!” His hands gripped my upper arms. “Why the ever loving fuck do you think that is o fucking k? There is nothing alright about it! You want me to fucking care? Since when do I care? I told you I wasn’t that fucking guy but you still hopped in the fucking sheets with me. You want romance and shit then you barked up the wrong tree. You will not get that shit from me.” He said. I could see he was slipping, the calmness he always seems to have was totally gone and in its place was a mad man. A totally crazed guy who for once since he reentered my life I didn’t feel afraid of.
“Sounds like you do.” I said softly.
He scoffed. “Then you’re fucking delusional.” He said releasing me.
His words swirled around in my brain and it all seemed to click into place at once. “You’re mad because I left. If you didn’t care why would it bother you so much? So much you had to come find me and lock me in here so I can’t get away again. You’re the delusional one here. You need to admit it to yourself. You can pretend that all this anger and aggression is just about what i did but you’re just as mad at yourself that it’s causing you to actually feel something.”
He backed up slowly with wild eyes. They were bouncing all over the room but they looked lost. Almost like he was so caught up in his head he wasn’t actually focusing on anything. He gripped the knob and I could see the muscles in his arm flex from the force. He swung the door open and went to leave. “Shut the fuck up, just shut up.”
I walked over to the door and gripped it so he couldn’t close it. “No. You care about me, accept it.” I continued to push and took a deep breath. This decision could make or break me. “I cared about you! I think… I think I almost loved you.”
His body froze and I held my breath. He took a deep shuddering breath and turned his head to face me. He stared hard into my eyes and he seemed to be having an internal battle. I knew when his decision was cemented when some of the calmness reentered his eyes and stance. “I hate you.” He said, eyes not wavering.
I stumbled back a step feeling literally struck by those three words. He reached out almost as if to steady me and I flinched causing him to retract his hand. I backed into the room slowly before closing the door softly putting a physical barrier between the two of us. I felt the first involuntary tear trickle down my face and chin and watched as the drop hit the floor. I backed up into the dresser and slowly slid down as the weight of his words hit me full force. Hate. I didn’t bother to try to be strong and hold in the tears. There was no way I could if I wanted to. I let the last few days wash over me and succumbed to my tears.