Chapter Fifteen
Carly
“Dottie,” I call out as I step into the house, the smell of homemade chicken noodle soup greeting me and making my stomach growl.
“In here!” she yells out from the kitchen and I follow my nose, my mouth watering as I realize I haven’t eaten all day. Avoiding Chance is definitely taking its toll on me. Dottie is standing in front of the stove in a long white sundress and her colorful apron tied around her waist.
“Hey, Auntie,” I say, leaning in and kissing her cheek as she stirs the soup. “You look awfully pretty today.”
She blushes and I grin. “Well, thank you, child.”
Sighing, she sets the wooden spoon down as she turns and grabs my upper arms. “Listen, about last week… I’m so sorry I upset you. I lost my head for a few minutes there and I’ve been so worried about you all week. I know you don’t like to talk about that time in your life.”
“It’s okay, Dottie.”
“You mean that, don’t you?” she asks, studying me and I nod. Sure, that night I was a wreck, but it didn’t haunt me the rest of the week like it usually would have. It could have something to do with the fact that Chance distracted me most of the time but whatever it is, I’m not complaining.
“Of course, I do.”
“There’s something different about you.”
I scoff and pull myself out of her arms. “No, there’s not. Now, what do you need help with?”
She’s quiet for a moment and I worry she will push me but she doesn’t. Instead, she shakes her head and points to the stove. “You can check the rolls and set the table.”
“You’ve got it.”
Pulling open the oven door, I peek inside and decide the rolls need a little more time before grabbing three bowls out of the cupboard and setting them on the table.
“So, have you heard from your sister?” Dottie asks and I shake my head.
“No, I’ve called her a few times, but she hasn’t answered or called me back.”
She’s quiet for a long moment before turning. “There is something going on here.”
“I didn’t want to believe it but I’m thinking you’re right. Ivy’s flaky but she’s never been this flaky and she always calls me back.”
“Keep trying, will ya? We’ve got to find out what’s going on with this new man of hers.”
As I grab spoons, I sigh. “You don’t think they’re maybe just in love and wanting to spend all their time together.”
“Girl, I pray every day that is the case, but I’ve got this nagging feeling down deep in my gut that tells me something is wrong.”
I wrinkle my nose. “You should probably see a doctor about that, Auntie.”
“Ha ha,” she playfully sneers. “I know you girls don’t put much stock in my instincts, but they never fail me. The day your daddy died, I knew something was wrong, but I told myself I was being silly. I’ll never do that again. Who knows… he may still be here with us if I had just listened to that little voice inside my head.”
My chest aches as I think about what my life would be like today with my daddy in it. There is so much he missed out on and so much that didn’t feel right without him with me.
“I do know one thing for sure,” Dottie whispers, patting my cheek. “He would be damn proud of the incredible woman you’ve become.”
Tears well up in my eyes and I sniffle as I look away from her. “You don’t think he’d be disappointed?”
“Oh, heavens no. Why would you ever think that?”
“Because of what happened and who I became because of it.”
She arches a brow and flashes me a stern look. “What did that night make you? You’re stronger now because of it and yes, you’re a little too cautious but, sweetie, you’ve just got to get out of your own way. You don’t have to live in this pain for the rest of your life.”
“I want to, Dottie,” I admit for the first time in my life. “I just don’t know how.”
She smiles and pulls me into a hug that reminds me of carefree summer nights and my dad. “Just jump, Carly. All you gotta do is jump.”
I stand up straight, pulling out of her arms and clear my throat as I wipe the tear off my cheek. “Well, that’s about enough of that, I think.”
Dottie laughs and nods. “Certainly. Pull those rolls out. They have to be done by now.”
I go to the oven and take the rolls out, tossing them into a basket before taking them to the table where Dottie is waiting with the pot of soup.
“Well, I suppose we should give her a few more minutes.”
I nod. “I’ll try calling her.”
I dial her number and the phone rings until her voicemail picks up and I sigh. “Hey, Vi. It’s me, your sister. Dottie and I are here at her house waiting for you guys. Are you going to be here soon?”
“So,” Dottie says as I hang up the phone. “How’s work going? Did you find that thing you were looking for?”
I grin, excited to tell her about my new project. “Yeah, actually. I’m going to be running a page about interior design and home décor. Maybe doing some DIY projects. Mercedes is even tossing around buying an apartment and having me fix it up since she’s been wanting to get involved with real estate.”
“Real estate?” she asks. “I didn’t realize you were interested in that kind of thing.”
“Neither did I until I had to decorate my office and looked into it.”
“Well, that’s great. You look so happy when you talk about it.”
“I’m honestly thrilled.”
“Well, good for you, dear. I can’t wait to read all about it.”
My phone buzzes and I glance down, my smile fading at the text from Chance on the screen.
Chance:
How long you gonna freeze me out, Princess?
“That your sister?” Dottie asks and I shake my head. “Who is it?”
“Uh… just this guy.”
Her brow arches. “Chance? The one you took to your mother’s charity thing?”
“Maybe.”
“And?” she prompts. “How are things going between you two? Figure out what you are?”
I shake my head. “Not exactly. We’re taking a little break.”
“Translation, you’re pushing him away.” I open my mouth to object, but she holds her hand out and shakes her head. “I’ve said my peace about this, so I’ll just say one more thing. People don’t wait around forever, no matter how strong their feelings. At some point, it just gets too painful to love someone who won’t give you the things you need. If you care about this man at all, make the jump or let him go permanently. It’s not fair to string him along.”
“You sound like you know from experience, Auntie,” I muse and she nods, sadness creeping into her gaze.
“I met a man once and for me, it was love at first sight, but he didn’t feel the same way. He strung me along for three very long, painful years before I had to walk away. I still think about him from time to time and no one else has ever made me feel the way he did when things were good between us.”
The heartbreak is clear on her face and I wonder if I’m hurting Chance as much with my inability to commit. My phone buzzes again, saving me from replying to her as I glance down at a new text. This one from Ivy.
Ivy:
Sorry. Not going to make it.
“Ivy’s not coming,” I whisper, glancing up at Dottie as she looks out the window. Her brow furrows in concern and after a moment, she sighs.
“Let me box up some of this food for you, sweetie. I’m afraid I will not be good company tonight.”
I nod, watching her as she grabs a container and fills it with soup for me to take home. I hate to admit it but I’m worrying about my sister, too, and seeing how distraught Dottie is, makes me feel even more uneasy. Whatever it takes, I will get to the bottom of this and figure out what is going on.
* * * *
“I’ll let you all talk but just think about what I said,” Chance says, standing from the table where Ali is perched with her laptop in front of her. He meets my eyes as he passes us and my hand shakes with the urge to reach out and touch him.
“Hey, Car, see somethin’ you like?” Ali asks, a smile stretching across her face, and I shake my head.
“Shut up. We’re here to talk about you. Not me.”
She laughs and nods, kicking out one of the chairs next to her. “By all means then, have a seat.”
“How are you doing, Hon?” Izzy asks, looking at her with a concerned expression as she sits down and crosses her arms on the table.
“Well, let’s see. I’m locked in my house because some psycho is leaving dolls on my doorstep, and I’m not talking to my boyfriend since he thinks he can run my life, but he won’t leave me alone, so we just walk around the house, not speaking to each other.”
“Ali, he’s just trying to protect you,” I point out, and she nods.
“I know that, but I wish he would just cool it a little bit. If he had just talked to me about it, I probably would have agreed with him, but he didn’t. He bulldozed over me and started barking orders.”
“Sounds a little bit like you’re taking shit out on him,” Izzy says, giving Ali a look. “This is hard for both of you, and there is no handbook. Hell, even the cops can’t do much right now. Maybe you should just cut him some slack.”
She bites down on her lip before sighing. “Yeah, you’re right,” she whispers.
“Then our work here is done.”
Izzy pushes away from the table and panic flashes in Ali’s eyes. “What? You’re leaving?”
I bite back a smile.
“Sorry, Hon. We just swung by on our lunch break and traffic was awful. We’ll stop by tonight if you want,” I offer, and she nods.
“She’ll be busy,” Logan says from the end of the hall, and Ali jumps, pressing her hand over her chest before she meets his eyes and practically melts in her chair. Or, maybe not. Izzy nudges me and we back out of the kitchen to give them a little alone time.
“You free for dinner tonight, then?” Izzy whispers as we creep toward the front door and I nod. I’ll do just about anything right now to avoid how hard it is to stay away from Chance.
“Yeah. Call me when you get off.”
She nods and gives me a quick hug before leaving as I turn down the hallway to go to the bathroom. Just as I’m about to close the door, someone pushes inside, covering my mouth with their hand as they shut and lock the door. My heart pounds and I imagine every awful scenario in the point two seconds it takes to recognize the smell of Chance’s cinnamon gum. Peeking up at him, I can barely make out the outline of his face from the light spilling in underneath the window blinds and I shove his hand off my mouth.
“What the hell are you doing?” I hiss, keeping my voice low so Ali doesn’t overhear us. She was just giving me shit about staring at him when we walked in, so I can only imagine what she would say if she found us like this.
“Me? I think the more important question is what the hell are you doing? It’s been over a week since you’ve spoken to me and that was only through text.”
I shrug, looking away from him. “And? That’s the definition of casual, Chance.”
“Except we aren’t casual no matter how badly you want to convince yourself that we are.”
“There is no we, no us. There is you and I and we occasionally come together to have sex. That is it.”
He lets out a sardonic laugh as he shakes his head. “You’re lying and you want to know what else, you’re not even all that good at it.”
“Look, I’m really sorry if anything I did made you believe this was anything more than sex,” I say, repeating the exact same words I said to Sam not so long ago as I push on Chance’s chest. Except this time, I don’t believe them even a little bit.
He steps in closer to me, pressing our chests together as he slips a hand along my cheek. I savor the touch, closing my eyes for just a split second but it’s my undoing. “I want you, Carly. All of it and I’ll take the moments you’re smiling at me like I’m everything you could ever want along with the moments you lose your shit because you feel me getting too close. I’ll stand here, with you, through all of that as long as you’ll have me and I’ll fight off your demons when they are too big for you to handle but I’m getting real tired of all the games.”
“Stop,” I hiss, refusing to meet his eyes, afraid that one look would completely give me away.
“Why? Because it’s everything you’ll never admit that you want? I’m a patient man, Carly, and I’ll wait for you as long as it takes.”
“Don’t you dare say that.”
“Why not?”
He nudges my cheek, forcing me to meet his eyes but I can only hold it for a second before my eyes fall to his chest where my fingers are digging into his skin. “Because it would be a waste of your life.”
“Even if I found someone else, they would never be you.”
I snort. “Sounds like a win-win to me.”
“Except then I would never feel this way again,” he whispers, grabbing one of my hands and placing it over his racing heart. “And that’s a problem for me.”
Closing my eyes, I press my hand harder against his firm chest, counting the heartbeats that pound against my palm as I try to rein in my emotions. “Stop trying to fix me, Chance. Some things are just broken.”
“Someday, Princess, I will prove to you that you’re not nearly as broken as you seem to think you are.”
That promise, simple as it seems, is enough to break me. Tears well up in my eyes and I push against him, but he doesn’t budge, holding me close as I struggle to get away. “Just stop, Chance. This has clearly gotten out of control. There is nothing but sex between us and I’m sorry if you made it out to be more.”
“Bull. Shit. You know it. I know it. Hell, if anyone would catch us right now, they would fucking know it so why do you keep fighting what you feel?”
A tear slips from my eye and I bury my face in his chest for a moment to hide it as I swipe my cheek. Taking a deep breath, I look up again and meet his eyes.
“I don’t feel anything anymore. I’m sorry.”
Twisting out of his arms, I open the bathroom door and run to the front door, hoping that I don’t attract the attention of Ali or Storm before I get to my car. Glancing back over my shoulder, I almost burst into tears when I see Chance standing in the doorway to the bathroom, watching me. He doesn’t even look a little deterred by our conversation and I wonder what the hell I have to do to make him believe me. Maybe I’m really not as convincing as I think I am.
“This isn’t over, Princess,” he calls to me, soft enough for only me to hear and I turn away from him, desperate to get to the safety of my car.
Once I get to the car, I throw my bag in the passenger seat and pull away from the curb. In the rearview mirror, I can see Chance standing on the front lawn with his arms crossed over his chest and I swear, it’s like he’s looking right through me. That’s always been our biggest problem. He sees the real me, through all the bullshit, and most of the time, he doesn’t let me get away with it. He forces me to be real with him and it stripped away all of my defenses.
Needing a distraction, I look around the car and try calling my sister again. Getting ahold of her has been difficult lately and every time she doesn’t answer the phone, I get more concerned. She and I have always been so close so what could possibly be going on in her life to make her ignore my calls and not get back to me? It’s like she’s a completely different person and I just don’t get it.
The phone rings and rings and with each moment that my call goes unanswered, my heart sinks. When I get her voicemail, fresh tears sting my eyes and I blow out a breath, hating how achingly empty my chest feels walking away from Chance.