Chapter Sixteen
Carly
“I can’t even imagine how terrifying that was, Hon,” I say as Ali finishes explaining her recent ordeal. We’re all sitting around a picnic table at the clubhouse while the guys gather around the fire, discussing who knows what. I was apprehensive about coming here tonight when Ali told me they were having a barbecue but I don’t think Chance has even glanced in my direction since we showed up which is a good thing.
“I’ve honestly never felt fear like that. I was frozen and I couldn’t even scream for Logan. I thought my heart was going to literally burst.”
Izzy blows out a breath and looks up at Ali. “What are we doing to end this son of a bitch?”
“Logan is handling it.”
“Well, what is he doing?”
Ali shrugs, peeking over her shoulder at Logan and I follow her gaze to find Chance’s eyes boring into me. Well, so much for that. Sucking in a subtle breath, I remind myself that I can handle this. I just need to stay away from him and then maybe I won’t give into this ache that’s been present since I decided to put space between us over two weeks ago. Not that he’s made it easy at all, though. I’ve even turned off my phone and sat in a dark apartment to avoid facing him when he dropped by without warning. That combined with my repeated unsuccessful attempts to get ahold of Ivy has made for a very stressful couple of weeks.
“I don’t know, Iz. He promised to tell me everything when it was over,” Ali says.
“And you’re okay with that?” she asks, incredulously.
Ali nods. “I am. If there is one thing I know for certain, it’s that Logan is madly in love with me. He would do whatever it takes to keep me safe, and if me being in the dark for a little bit helps him deal with this, then I’m okay with that. But he will be telling me every little detail when this is all over.”
“I don’t know how you do it,” she grumbles, and Ali laughs as the boys walk over to us.
“Ladies,” Chance says as they gather around the table, his gaze lingering on me. I can feel it like a touch across my skin, but I refuse to look at him. The guys all sit in a circle around the picnic table, some pulling up chairs while others slide down the bench seat. Logan picks Ali up and sits down in her spot, positioning her in his lap as he presses his lips to her neck. Her eyes drift closed and she smiles.
“Wait, I’m gonna need you all to tell me your names again,” Izzy says, batting her eyelashes at the guys and Ali laughs while I shake my head. As Izzy drove me here tonight, all she talked about was how badly she needed to get some tonight so this is like a buffet laid out in front of her. The guys go in a circle, each telling her their names and when it’s Moose’s turn, she holds her hands up.
“Hold on. Moose?”
His brow arches. “Yeah?”
“How in the hell did you get a name like Moose?”
All of the guys start cracking up and Smith slaps him on the back. “Yes, brother. Please tell us how you came to be known as Moose.”
“No,” he snaps, looking away from the group.
“Ah, come on, buddy. If you don’t, I will,” Kodiak says with a teasing grin on his face. Moose turns to glare at him.
“Don’t you dare.”
Kodiak smiles wider and turns to us. “It happened like this, ladies. Good old Moose here was dating this girl, a real psycho but she sucked better than a hoover.”
Izzy flashes them a wide smile as she props her chin up on her hand, already enthralled in this story.
“Anyway, Moose in his infinite wisdom recognized that this was the type of woman that would cut your balls off in your sleep and decided to end it with her. To say she didn’t take it well would be an understatement. She just didn’t want to let our sweet Moose-y go so she devised this plan to kidnap him.”
“What?” Izzy sputters out and all of the guys are snickering at this point as Moose’s cheeks burn beneath his beard.
“Right?” Kodiak asks. “Moose is a big boy. I have no idea how she was planning on getting him out of here, but we had a party one night and she showed up. She spent the night flirting with all of us but always keepin’ an eye on our boy here and when Moose went upstairs to get something, she followed him. We heard the crash and went running up there. Home girl had shot him with a tranquilizer and he was laying on the floor, moaning like a…”
“Moose!” Izzy shouts, cutting Kodiak off and the entire table erupts in laughter, nudging him as he looks away, blushing harder.
“I fucking hate you all,” he growls and Kodiak pats his head.
“Oh, no, you don’t.”
Izzy sighs and shakes her head. “Well, now I’m just more intrigued about all of your names.”
“Let’s see. Fuzz was a cop,” Kodiak says, pointing to Fuzz, who tips his hat at us and Izzy smiles. “Smith is just because that’s his last name.”
“Super unoriginal,” she says to him and he shrugs as he takes a drink of his beer.
“Storm here was named by Red’s old lady. She said he always looked like he had a storm brewing in his mind because of his eyes.”
Izzy glances over at them and nods. “Yeah, I could see that. Not so much anymore.”
Ali grins and Logan squeezes her tighter, kissing her cheek.
“Aw. It makes me want to barf,” Streak says and the guys laugh as someone nudges Logan.
“Ah, Streak got his name because he’s the luckiest son of a bitch you’ve ever met. Seriously, don’t ever play cards with him.”
“I’ve just got skills, bro,” Streak says and Kodiak shakes his head.
“No, what you’ve got is like some crazy voodoo magic that I want no part in.”
“I’ve got to go with Kodiak on this one, Streak,” Blaze says from the table next to us. “I’ve never met a guy who finds more money layin’ on the ground than you do.”
“Whatever,” Streak mumbles, a smile still on his face as he sips his beer.
“Who’s left? Oh, Chance – also just his name. Super unoriginal. And Blaze is because he used to like to play with fire a little too much.”
“Keyword there, used to,” Blaze says and Kodiak nods.
“Wait. What about you?” I ask Kodiak, trying my best to ignore the burning sensation of Chance’s gaze glued to me.
“Mine is ‘cause I’m from Alaska.”
“Wait, hold on. That’s only part of it,” Moose says, his cheeks finally returning to their regular color. “You know how grizzly bears in Alaska are so much bigger and meaner than ones you find in the lower forty-eight?”
“Yeah,” I respond, nodding. Moose motions to Kodiak, who just rolls his eyes.
“Oh, please, I’m just a big teddy bear.”
“Is that why you almost got arrested when you went home last year and saw that guy talking to your baby sister?”
Kodiak growls and takes a sip of his beer. “Whatever. That little fucker had it coming.”
“I feel like we’re forgetting someone,” Smith says, leaning forward and looking around the circle.
“Henn,” Logan says from behind Ali. Kodiak snaps his fingers.
“That’s right. Blaze tells that story the best though.”
Blaze chuckles and leans forward, placing his beer on the table. “When Henn was prospecting in, we had a party one night. The guys had been riding him hard cause some of them didn’t think he belonged in the club and he wanted to prove himself. He drank so much goddamn Hennessey that he just ran around the clubhouse naked screaming, “I am Hennessey!” at the top of his lungs.” He shrugs. “The name stuck.”
“Oh, man. That’s great.” Izzy stands up and smiles at the guys gathered around the picnic table, laying it on thick as she bats her eyelashes. “Now, which one of you is going to show me where the booze is?”
“I got ya, Darlin’,” Kodiak says, jumping up and flashing her a sly grin. He may think he knows her game, but I can almost guarantee that he’s not ready for the unstoppable force that is Isabelle Hutton.
“Mmhmm,” Izzy hums, letting her gaze drop down his body before she spins around and walks off, putting a little extra swing in her hips. Kodiak follows behind her with his tongue practically hanging out of his mouth and I bite down on my lip to keep from laughing. No doubt, Izzy will have him on his back underneath her before the night is over.
My gaze drifts to Ali, cuddled up in Logan’s lap with a blissfully happy smile on her face that makes my chest ache. I can’t help but look at how happy she is and want that for myself even if I know it’s a terrible idea. I can’t stop thinking about what Chance said in Ali’s bathroom last week – about how he would wait as long as it took for me – and then I start thinking about what Aunt Dottie said. The thought of him going away, leaving my life for good, hurts more than I want to admit but even thinking of giving our relationship a shot still scares me.
“Let’s get some music going,” Streak says, pulling me from my thoughts as he hops up from the picnic table and pulls a remote out of his pocket. He points toward the clubhouse behind me and Thunder Kiss ’65 by Rob Zombie starts playing. A few of the guys start talking about a run they have coming up this week and I let my gaze wander around the circle as I sip my beer.
My skin prickles with the sensation of being watched again and I glance to my side. Chance doesn’t look away when I meet his pale green eyes and my cheeks heat. God, how the hell does he still make me all tingly with just a look? Turning away from him, I drain my beer and sigh, glancing over my shoulder to the black brick building that serves as the Bayou Devils clubhouse before deciding to go in search of another beer. As I open the door to the clubhouse, I’m surprised by the décor. It’s manly but clean and it looks like a fun place to hang out. There’s a bar along one wall and a couple of pool tables off in the opposite corner. Couches line the wall to my left and a couple round tables with chairs fill the middle of the room. I don’t know what I was expecting but this isn’t it.
Slipping behind the bar, I locate the beer fridge pretty easily. Just as I’m pulling a bottle out, my stomach growls and I glance behind me to the set of stainless steel swinging doors like you would find in a restaurant. I remember Ali saying something about a kitchen back here and I peek through the circular window, smiling when I see the stove. Pushing it open, I slink inside and pull open the large professional grade fridge, perusing the contents.
“Hungry?” a raspy voice asks from behind me and I jump as goose bumps race across my skin.
“A little,” I retort, spinning around and pressing my back up against the fridge. “Are you going to feed me?”
Chance smirks, a hungry look in his captivating eyes and I suck in a breath as he takes a slow deliberate step toward me and then another. He doesn’t touch me, but our bodies are a fraction of an inch apart and I can feel his body heat seeping through my clothes. Why does that feel so damn good?
“No, I had something a little different in mind.”
Crap.
Am I really going to do this? I’ve been so good at avoiding him and I could totally screw it all up by sleeping with him tonight but my body aches with need and my dreams have been filled with him every night. The way he looks at me and the way my body reacts around him makes my feelings so much deeper than they should be, than they have any right to be, and if I’m being perfectly honest, it scares me. With each passing day, I can hear him pounding at the walls guarding my heart but my mind drifts to Ali and the blissed out look on her face anytime she’s around Logan or someone even mentions his name. I want it so badly that I feel a twinge in my chest, urging me to take a chance for the first time in twelve years.
“We shouldn’t,” I whisper and he tilts his head to the side, studying me with a little scowl I find adorable.
“And why’s that?”
I place my hands on his chest, contradicting every word that’s coming out of my mouth. “You already know why, Chance. This is getting messy and I can’t do messy.”
“And what if we stop making it messy?” he asks and I shake my head, closing my eyes because it hurts too much to look at him right now.
“What would that look like?”
Reaching up, he gently cups my cheek, brushing his thumb down to my jaw and my whole body aches for more as I pry my eyes open and look up at him. “What Logan and Ali have.”
“I… can’t do that.”
“Who hurt you, Princess?” he asks for the second time and I jerk away from him, but he doesn’t let me go, holding me close and even as I fight, I want to give into him.
“You don’t know me, Chance.”
He laughs, shaking his head as he stares down at me like I’ve lost my mind. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“I don’t know,” I whisper, pressing my forehead against his chest. There is a part of me that’s clinging to that notion but if I’m forced to think about it then no, I don’t really believe that. Chance knows the real me, he always has.
“Please,” he pleads and I pull away to meet his gaze. “Give us a chance. I’m fucking crazy about you and I don’t want to walk away from this.”
Before I can react, he leans down and presses his lips to mine. My body goes lax against him at the first touch of his lips and I sigh as I grip his forearm. It’s gentle but so tender and I can feel everything from him as he shows me all the things he can’t say. His other hand comes up, framing my face between his palms as he pulls back and searches my eyes for a moment. Tears sting my eyes and I jerk my face out of his grip as I stare at the floor.
“What are you doing to me?” I mutter, closing my eyes to fend off the water works. I try to wiggle away from him, but he pulls me closer, forcing me to face this and I feel something breaking inside me.
“Look at me,” he whispers and despite my inner protests, I pull my head back and meet his gaze. I’m stripped bare, all my pain laid out in front of him as my walls come crashing down all around me and he pulls me closer. “Just let me in, baby.”
“I can’t,” I croak, the first tear spilling down my cheek and he shakes his head.
“You can. Just let me in, Carly.”
“You don’t understand. It’s not that easy. Don’t you think I want to let you in? I want all the same things you do but I can’t. This is all I can ever be for you and you deserve better than half a person.”
He grabs the back of my neck, keeping my eyes on his as determination flashes in his gaze. “You are not and you have never been half a person. I’ll consider myself so damn lucky for everyday you allow me to be in your life, so I never want to hear you say shit like that again.”
Sucking in a choppy breath, I study him but all I can see in his eyes is complete sincerity. How can he possibly mean that? “I don’t know how to be any other way.”
“I’m not asking you to be any different. I want you, just the way you are.”
I shake my head, fighting against how right everything he says feels. “I don’t know how to be in a relationship. You won’t want me when all I do is push you away because I have no idea how to do this.”
“It hasn’t sent me runnin’ yet, has it?”
“It will. You’ve only known me for three weeks, Chance. There are things you don’t know about me and once you do, everything between us will change.”
He blows out a breath, shaking his head slowly as he looks down between us. Maybe my words have finally sunk in and he’s realizing that a relationship with me is a terrible idea. That’s probably for the best but, oh, God, does it hurt.
Just when I think he’s going to release me, his head snaps up and he pins me with his stare. My mouth pops open as I try to come up with anything to say to him and he swoops in, kissing me and shutting me up. He holds me close, once again pouring his feelings into his kiss and I’m done for. How could I possibly deny him anything now?
“Give this a shot, Princess,” he urges against my lips. “Nothing you could tell me will change the way I feel right now.”
I can’t force the agreement out of my mouth and yet, I can’t tell him no either, so I lean in and kiss him again.
Fake it ‘til you make it, right?
A soft groan rumbles up from his chest and one arm wraps around my waist, securing me to him as the other dives into my hair, holding the back of my head as we stumble and my back crashes into the fridge. The contents in the door rattle around but I can’t be bothered to stop. He’s pouring so much emotion into his kiss and my heart aches with tenderness as I pull him closer, securing him to me. I’ve never been kissed like this and you’d have to bring a wrecking ball through here to pry me away from him.
He slips his leg between my thighs and I gasp. Using my surprise to his advantage, he teases me with his tongue, running it along the roof of my mouth and my whole body trembles. His hand slips to my ass and he lifts me into his arms. I wrap my legs around his waist, mentally willing him not to drop me as he turns and walks. He never once takes his focus away from our kiss as he passes through the swinging doors and I only have a moment to worry that someone might be out on the couches or playing pool before he sits me down on top of the bar and slips his hands up under my t-shirt.
His hands feel like feathers against my skin, slipping over my flesh and sending shivers racing through me in every direction before they drop straight between my thighs. His tongue tangles with mine, teasing me with the promise of a long night and tenderness between my legs in the morning. My pussy aches with need and I whimper as I fist his shirt and pull him closer, trying to rub against him. He lit a fire inside me and now he’s going to put it out. Releasing him, I reach down and grab the bottom of my shirt, ready to rip it over my head but he stops me.
“No one else gets to see you like this, gorgeous girl. Get upstairs,” he says after ripping his mouth from mine. He grabs my hips and lifts me off the bar before swatting my ass and gently pushing me toward the stairs. I’m not thinking anymore, my feet moving toward the staircase with determination. My body is strung tight and I’m not leaving here tonight until he’s relieved the ache.
Thankfully, it seems everyone else is still outside and as I race up the stairs, I can hear him stomping behind me, just as eager as I am to get somewhere private. When I reach the top of the stairs, he grabs my wrist and pulls me back into him, spinning me around so I’m facing him as he steals more kisses and pushes my back up against a wall. His rigid length presses into my belly and I roll my hips, moaning at the feel of him.
“It drives me crazy every time I’m away from you,” he whispers against my lips as we move again and I thread my fingers into his hair as I plunge my tongue into his mouth. He grips my hips hard and groans.
“I’ll never be able to promise to make it easy for you,” I reply and he lets out a laugh, his breath washing over me.
“That’s all right, Princess. I kind of like fighting with you.” He pushes me up against a door and one hand cradles the back of my head as he fumbles for the doorknob. When it opens, he guides me inside and shuts it behind him. The thud of the door shutting echoes through the room and he tries to lead me to the bed, but I push back on him, pressing his back to the door as I loosen his belt and unbutton his jeans. His hand slips up my back and unhooks my bra before pressing it firmly against my skin and I moan. I knew I had missed him, but I didn’t realize how much until this moment as everything in my world seems to right itself with his touch.
“Pants off,” I command, pointing to his jeans clad legs as I back away from him and he arches a brow.
“Little bossy tonight, are we?”
Taking a deliberate step toward him, I place my palm against his chest as I rock my hips against his. “If you take off your pants, there is a fairly good chance I’ll suck your cock. If that doesn’t interest you, then maybe I should just be going.”
“You’re not going anywhere. I just got you back, so I don’t care if I have to barricade the door to keep you here,” he growls, grabbing my hips and pulling me closer. My gaze falls down to his hips for a moment before I meet his eyes again with a brow arched and he chuckles, wrapping one arm around me while he shoves his jeans down with the other before switching. When he finally gets them past his hips, his erection springs free and I grin as I start to sink to my knees, but he doesn’t let me go far, grabbing me by the arms and pulling me back up to kiss me again.
Threading his fingers through my hair, he cradles the back of my head and kisses me so softly, with so much love, that I’m moments away from bursting into tears in his arms. With each passing moment, saying yes to him seems less and less crazy even if it is still terrifying. I have to be losing my mind to think about really giving our relationship a shot but I am.
“As much as I love your sassy mouth, baby, tonight I want you under me,” he whispers in between kisses as he slowly leads me toward the bed. When the back of my knees hit the mattress, he pulls away just enough to spin me in his arms before he’s pulling me back into his body and wrapping his arms around me. His lips press against my neck and a breathy moan slips out of my mouth as I rub my ass on his cock. With a groan, he quickly unbuttons my jeans and pushes them down my legs as I kick my feet to help him. He moves to my shirt, pulling it over my head and when he wraps his arms around me again, his bare skin presses against mine.
“Mmm,” I hum, leaning back into him and reaching behind me to run my fingers through his hair. One arm wraps firmly around my waist while the other slowly trails down my belly to the apex of my thighs and my breath hitches as I wait for him to touch the spot where I really want him. I feel his smile against my neck as he skirts around my clit, teasing me until I’m whimpering in his arms. I jerk away from him, ready to spin around and take what I want from him when he pushes down on my shoulders until I’m bent over, bracing myself on the mattress with my hands.
“Shit, baby. You’ve got the best ass I’ve ever seen,” he growls, grabbing one cheek before smacking it hard and I let out a soft cry. He sinks to his knees behind me, holding my hips so I can’t move away from him, as he leans in and sinks his teeth into my skin.
“Chance,” I beg, shifting from one leg to the other as my core throbs with need.
“Yes, sweetheart?” His voice is sugary sweet like he has no idea he’s killing me right now and I would stand up and walk out if I still had the ability, but I’m concerned that I’d take one step and crumple to the floor.
“Please,” I whisper even if it kills me to beg him. I have an intense love/hate relationship with the things he does to me because trusting him not to use it against me or hurt me is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
“Don’t you worry, sweetness. I’m going to take care of you.”
His grip on my hips tightens and he pulls me back to him before licking between my thighs and I moan loudly, arching my back to give him better access. Moving his hands to my ass, he grabs my cheeks and spreads them as he leans in again and teases my clit with his tongue before sucking it into his mouth. I fist the sheets, sucking in desperate breaths as he drifts up, plunging his tongue inside me as he smacks my ass.
“Oh, God!” I scream, pushing back against his face and he groans, pulling away from me and standing. He grabs my hips again and lifts me up, tossing me onto the bed on my stomach before climbing on top of me. He pulls my ass into the air and I moan at how commanding he's being tonight. I’ve always remained in control of the relationships in my life but handing it over to him isn't nearly as scary as I thought it would be. In fact, I would even go as far as to say I trust him.
At the very least, I trust him as much as I can trust anyone. Before that night, I was naive and I trusted blindly. The thought never even crossed my mind that Austin would betray me until I was laying in a hospital bed with my world shattered around me. Now, no matter what, there is always a little voice in my head questioning the motives of those around me, wondering if I’m still the butt of everyone's joke. I miss the freedom of believing what people tell me instead of wondering what their intentions are.
The ripping of a foil packet pulls me back into the present and Chance’s gentle touch on my hip as he lines his cock up with my entrance sends warmth radiating from my chest. Maybe I haven't known him that long and maybe it’s a huge mistake, but I truly don’t think he would ever do anything to hurt me. When I’m not fighting him, his presence settles me and I think I’ve become addicted to it.
“Shit,” Chance hisses as he slowly sinks into me. “You feel amazing, baby.”
I hum in response, nodding my head as I rise up on my knees and Chance wraps his arm around me, holding me close to him as he pulls out and thrusts forward again.
“I think I forgot how good this feels,” I moan and he growls in my ear as he nips at it.
“I'm obviously not doing a good enough job if you’re forgetting about it.”
I smile, unable to resist the urge to rile him up. “Well, then, you better work extra hard and make sure I don't forget tonight.”
“Woman,” he growls again, a warning in his tone as he pulls back and drives into me harder. “You're going to regret this.”
“Promises, promises,” I tsk and his grip on me tightens as he plunges into me, setting a relentless pace. Stars dance in my vision and my knees tremble as I grab his arm, clinging to him.
“I’m sorry, Princess. What were you saying?”
I shake my head and squeeze my eyes closed with the feeling of his grin pressed against my skin.
“Nothing?” he questions, sounding rather smug. “I expected more from you.”
Any other day I would be totally game with egging him on but that's kind of impossible to do when the only words I can come up with are “more” and “don’t stop”.
He groans in my ear, sending a shiver down my spine as his other hand gently wraps around the front of my neck. His hot breath in my ear joins the sensations swamping my body, locking us in a world where the only things that truly matter are he and I. Pressure builds in my belly and my head rolls back onto his shoulder, earning another groan from him as his teeth sink into my shoulder.
“I’m going to tie you to this bed and never let you leave again,” he mutters and I wait for the panic to settle in but instead, a smile stretches across my face.
“Again with the promises.”
Without warning, he slips out of me and flips me to my back on the bed. He hovers over me, searching my gaze before he leisurely glances down my body and trails his fingers down my belly. Flutters of desire race through me and I gasp softly, arching into his touch as his grin grows.
“Tell me we’re really going to do this,” he urges and I bite my lip, staring up at him for a second before I shake my head. All I’ve done for the past twelve years is avoid this exact situation and it feels weird to let it all go and as much as I want to do just that, change is never easy.
“I haven’t decided yet.”
He shakes his head. “Bullshit. You have decided but I need to hear you say the words.”
“No.”
Now, I’m just being stubborn, but it seems I can’t stop either.
His gaze snaps up to mine and he wraps his hand around his length, brushing the head over my clit before he slips inside me again. With a gasp, I arch off the bed and grab his arm, needing something to anchor me to the world. My body is strung so tight after two weeks of avoiding him and only having my vibrator for relief.
“Neither one of us is leaving this room until I make you mine,” he growls, picking up his pace from earlier and pounding into me with renewed stamina.
“We’ll see,” I whisper, unable to say much more with an orgasm building inside me. With determination in his eyes, he pins my wrists to the bed and leans down, sealing his lips over mine as I reach my peak. I moan loudly against his lips and my body tenses for a moment before the waves of my release wash over me.
“Fuck,” he groans, his cock swelling inside me as he thrusts one last time and buries himself to the hilt. Not even the sounds of the party still going on outside can drown out the sound of our hearts racing as he collapses on top of me and kisses me again. Rolling off of me, he slings his arm around my waist, and pulls me into his body. “We’re doing that again.”
I giggle, turning to look at him. “Oh, we are, are we?”
“Hell yeah, we are. I’ve got two whole weeks to make up for, Princess. Just give me five minutes.”
“Well, you’re going to have to let me up so I can pee first,” I say, wiggling under his grip and he sighs, annoyed by the fact that he has to release me.
“Fine, but don’t take too long.”
“I’ll try.” I pat his cheek and he sighs again, letting me sit up before he grabs my arm and pulls me back down, connecting our lips. I’m giddy. There is no other way to describe the way I’m feeling right now. I’m sixteen years old again before everything went wrong. After a moment, he pulls back and releases me, smacking my ass as I stand up. Glancing over my shoulder, I glare at him but he’s not bothered, flashing me a sleepy grin that makes my heart do this strange little fluttering thing.
Turning away from him to hide the goofy smile on my face, I walk to the bathroom and snag one of his shirts off the chair, pulling it over my head as I walk into the adjoining bathroom and shut the door. The scent of cinnamon surrounds me and my smile feels like it might crack my face in half as I lean back against the door and clasp my hand over my mouth. My mind spins with everything that’s happened tonight, everything he’s said and I suck in a breath, trying desperately to process it.
Holy shit, am I really doing this?
Pushing off of the door, I walk over to the sink and brace my hands on the edges, studying my reflection in the mirror. My cheeks are flushed and my hair is messed up from where he threaded his fingers through it. Gray eyes that have lacked a certain sparkle for a long time twinkle back at me and even I have to admit Chance looks good on me. It’s so hard to think through the haze of lust he takes me to each time he’s around but I can’t help it. The minute he comes near me, I’m weak but then again, I feel stronger than I ever have before. Not even the anniversary of the rape or Austin’s check in the mail could derail my life like it used to and I have to wonder if that’s all because of Chance.
The walls around my heart are rubble, lying in pieces around the fragile organ in my chest and my fear is gone. In fact, thinking of a life with Chance fills me with nothing but joy and excitement. I still don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t know how to be someone’s girlfriend and I have no clue about how to make a relationship work, but we’ll figure it out.
Of course, I’m doing this. He beckons me and I want to go. He asks me a question and I’m spilling my guts, desperate to see how he reacts to my words – how he reacts to me. It’s insane but true. We haven’t known each other long but he may be one of the only people in this world who truly knows me, who sees beyond the image that a young girl erected to protect herself. Maybe I’m losing my mind. That would explain why I’m considering abandoning principles that have kept my heart safe for most of my adult life but honestly, I don’t care anymore. A piece of advice I gave Ali a couple weeks back pops into my mind and I sigh. I told her that even though it was scary, she had to take the leap or she’d regret it and even though I was talking about a job, it still applies to my situation. If I walk away from him now, I know I’ll regret it.
Butterflies flutter around in my stomach and I push off the sink with a smile on my face before smoothing my hands down Chance’s shirt. I’m really going to do this. I will give whatever this thing is between us a chance and hope for the best even if the pain of my past is screaming warnings at me. Turning toward the door, I pause with my hand on the knob as my nerves take control for a moment before I suck in a breath and pull the door open. Chance is on the bed where I left him, his hand on his stomach and he lets out a soft snore that makes me giggle as I prop my hip against the door jamb.
I love him.
The thought flits through my mind so quickly I would doubt it really happened if my heart wasn’t racing and my stomach wasn’t rolling. Holy shit. It’s true. Somewhere along the way, Chance snuck right past every defense I had and stole my heart right out from under me. And what’s even crazier is that while I’m scared, it’s different from the fear I’m used to. There is an excitement in knowing I love this crazy man who complements all my jagged pieces and supports me when I’m falling apart in front of him that pushes me past my fear, toward him.
With a smile still on my face, I push off the door jamb and take a step toward him when someone clears their throat, making me jump and pulling my gaze to the corner of the room. There, perched in a chair, is a gorgeous blonde with mile long legs and huge fake tits glaring at me. She arches a brow like she’s waiting for some kind of explanation and her gaze rakes down my body, disdain radiating off her as she inspects me.
“Who are you?” I ask, trying to ignore the sinking feeling in my stomach. It’s an impending storm. I can feel the charge in the air as clouds fill the sky and I know any minute the heavens will open up and drown me in their wrath.
She stands and crosses her arms over her chest, making her breasts look even bigger in the ridiculously short gold dress she’s got on. “I’m his wife. Who are you?”
An ice pick slices through my chest, carving my heart out and dropping it on the floor in front of me as I look over at Chance, all the color draining from my face. Two rules – that’s all I asked and I completely threw one of them away for him. Tears sting my eyes and the pain in my chest throbs, like it’s a living, breathing thing and in that moment, I’m sixteen again – the butt of everyone’s joke. Shame crashes down on me and I back away from her, shaking my head.
“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.”
A smug look crosses her face and she nods. “Well, now you do. Stay away from him.”
“Trust me, you never have to worry about me again,” I tell her, grabbing my jeans and jerking them on my legs before heading toward the door. As I yank the door open and run down the hallway, tears drip down my cheeks, and I wish I had never met Chance Turner.