CHAPTER 26
BRADY
I was going to take Dad’s truck tonight. It was the best way not to feel as if we had to sneak around. No one would be looking for me in Dad’s truck. My truck, however, would draw attention. Mom said Dad had gone into the office today to do some work, so I headed that way after my conversation with Riley. She needed proof I was serious, and I understood that she wasn’t like the other girls I knew. She was a mom. It was her differences that drew me to her. She didn’t bore me. She was real.
Getting her to trust me, however, was something else I needed to prepare for. It wasn’t going to be easy. She was very closed off and careful. I hadn’t been able to think about anything but her after our day yesterday, but she seemed unaffected. Completely. That wasn’t something I knew how to handle.
I pulled up outside Dad’s office building and grabbed my phone off the passenger seat and tucked it in my pocket before getting out of the truck. Explaining that I needed to borrow his truck and why was going to be awkward. I wasn’t sure if he was okay with Riley, if he believed Rhett like everyone else in town or if he thought she might have told the truth. I also knew he didn’t want me distracted from football.
If he saw Riley as a distraction, then we may have an argument. Either way he was going to have to come to terms with this and be okay. I never asked him for his opinion on things like this, and I wasn’t about to start. I loved him, but this was my life. My choices.
The front door was unlocked, and I headed inside and toward the back of the building, where I knew his office was. No other cars were outside, so when I heard voices I slowed down. He could be in a meeting, and I didn’t want to interrupt him. I could wait until it was over.
The female sound that drifted down the hall caused me to freeze. Not just my body but my breathing. I think even my heart stopped. The next sound that followed was an obvious moan and then my dad’s deep voice making a sound that he should not be making in his office.
I had to be mistaken. That wasn’t my dad. He wouldn’t do that.
Forcing my feet to walk forward I went toward the sound, toward the office I knew was Dad’s, and with each step their sounds became louder and more intense. My stomach turned, and I wasn’t sure if I was going to throw up before I even got there. Every word and sound he made just proved me wrong. It was him. Who else could it be?
There was a mirror behind my dad’s desk that my mother had hung when she decorated his office. This very same mirror now showed my father clearly undressed. A woman with long blond hair sat on his desk, and he was between her legs. Moving. The red heels on her feet sickened me, and the cry of his name from her lips made me so ill I had to turn and run. I was going to be sick.
This wasn’t happening. Not my dad. He had my mom. Why would he do that to her? With a woman half his age? I hadn’t seen her face clearly over his shoulder, but she was definitely younger.
Never had my heart shattered like it had just now. Not once in my life had I really felt pain like this. I thought I’d understood what it was like to be hurt. But I realized as I exited that building and the cool air hit my face that this was what real pain felt like. It tore you open. Burned you. Destroyed everything you were and left you bent over in a parking lot, heaving until there was nothing left in your stomach.
I stayed like that, bent over, until I was sure that was all I had in me. Standing back up, my body felt weak, empty, lost. I’d left my house thirty minutes ago completely at ease. And in one moment it had all changed. I would never be that guy again.
As I looked at my dad’s truck, hate, anger, and disbelief all slammed into my chest. I wanted to go inside and tell him what a worthless piece of shit he was. That I hoped he rotted in hell for this. I wanted to throw rocks at his truck windows and take a key down the side of the paint. I wanted him as destroyed as I was.
Picturing my mother’s face stopped me, and I sank down into my seat and laid my head on the steering wheel. This would kill her. She adored that man. She did everything for him. If she found out, she’d be so crushed, and I wasn’t sure she could make it. I loved her, but she wasn’t that strong.
Starting my truck, I headed for home then stopped. I couldn’t face her. Not now. I couldn’t face anyone. I needed to be alone. So I turned my truck north and drove. It was all I could do: drive away from the false sense of security I had lived in here.
Football no longer seemed important. College no longer weighed on my mind. Just the fact that my family was living a lie and my father was about to completely destroy all I’d known. I would never forgive him. I couldn’t bleach my brain and unsee that. If I could, I would.
We had everything. He had everything, and he was throwing it away for what? Some woman who looked hot in a miniskirt?
Asa passed me and honked, but I couldn’t even wave back. I didn’t want to. That was my past life. The one where I wanted to make my dad proud. The one where I cared about my future. The one where my mother was loved and provided for. Everyone in this town was a part of that life.
Were they all living a lie? Was no one real? Was life here one big fat production?
I drove looking straight ahead, my head pounding from the powerful vomiting and the sight that wouldn’t go away replaying in my head. Stopping meant I’d have to go back there. I never wanted to go back there. I never wanted to see that man again.
He had ruined it all. For me. For my mom. For the football team. For this town.
Because Brady Higgens was broken. I wouldn’t work properly now. I just didn’t give a fuck. I’d done my best to be the kid everyone was proud of. I’d played by the rules and I’d been good.
What good had that done me? None whatsoever. My dad was a fucking whore.