CHAPTER 46
BRADY
I would never have made it through that without Riley. Pulling up outside her house, I wanted to go inside with her. Stay with her. Going home and facing reality scared me. My mother could know now. What would that look like?
“Call me if you need me,” Riley said when I put the truck in park. “I’ll keep my phone by my ear.”
I sighed. “I wish I didn’t have to face this. But if she knows, she’s going to be broken. I can’t not go home. And if she doesn’t know, he’s going to have to tell her. I’ve told him I know. I can’t let this drag out. What if she were to find out another way or, God forbid, walk in like I did and catch them?”
She didn’t say anything because she knew I was right. There was nothing to add to that.
“Thanks for being there tonight. At the game and the field.”
She gave me a sad smile. “I wish it had been easier for you. Both of them.”
I leaned over and pressed a kiss to her lips. Tasting her and being close like this always eased the ache. She filled a piece of me that my father had ripped away. I needed her.
When she had needed someone, no one had been there. That killed me every time I thought of it. She was so giving and kind. She didn’t hold grudges or bitterness from what we’d all put her through.
Reluctantly I ended the kiss. I couldn’t stay with her all night, as much as I wanted. I had to go home and deal.
“I’ll walk you to the door,” I told her, and she shook her head.
“No. Go home. You can watch me safely get inside. No reason to walk with me. You have to get home and check on your mom.”
Normally I would argue, but tonight she was right. I’d stayed out longer than I should have. I should be at home.
“Good night,” I told her, and the words I love you almost fell from my tongue. I stopped them before they came out, but they had been there. So easily. So quickly.
Shit.
“Good night,” she replied, and I watched silently as she climbed out of my truck and went inside.
Shit. I didn’t need to love her. Not now.
On the drive home, the words I love you played over and over in my head, keeping me distracted until I pulled in behind my father’s truck. He was here. Lights were on downstairs.
I had left Maggie at the field with West, so it would just be us. With the truth.
Taking a deep breath, I steadied myself and headed inside. Each step I took was heavy, full of dread. The dread grew to fury, and by the time I opened the door I wanted nothing more than to see my father walk out of our lives and never come back.
I heard their voices, and although there wasn’t screaming or crying there was a heaviness to the tone. I followed the sound and found them in the kitchen sitting across from each other at the wooden farm table.
My mother’s eyes were bloodshot from tears that were now dried. She looked stronger than I had expected. Did she know the truth?
“Does she know?” I asked him point-blank, not giving him room to lie.
He could barely look at me. “Yes.”
I walked over to her and slid an arm around her shoulders. She reached up and patted my hand. “We need to talk with you,” she said, “about how we are going to proceed from here.”
This was it. The moment where this family changed. Forever. The sick knot in my stomach returned, and I realized that as angry as I was, this wasn’t what I really wanted either. I wanted the man I’d thought my dad was to be that man.
I sat down at a chair closest to Mom and turned my attention to my dad. I wanted him to talk. This was his disaster. She shouldn’t be the one explaining anything to me.
“What you saw was a mistake . . . ,” he began.
I wasn’t about to let the bastard lie.
“You accidentally had your pants down and a naked woman on your office table?” I asked with disgust.
He winced and glanced at my mother. “That’s not what I meant. Miranda and I have been working together a lot over the past year. Things got carried away. In marriage sometimes people go through rough patches and it opens the door for this to happen. I made a mistake by allowing it to happen. I was weak and I will never forgive myself for hurting your mother . . . or you.”
I let out a hard laugh full of hate. “Jesus, that’s the biggest crock of shit I’ve ever heard. Your life wasn’t rough. She does everything for you. She is what makes this house a home. Her!” I yelled, pointing at my mother. “She’s why I’m who I am. Her. All because of her. So this rough patch is your excuse to stick your dick wherever you want.”
“Brady.” Mom’s voice broke, but I could hear the pleading there asking me to stop.
My father sighed and looked at my mother, then back at me. “I’m moving out. You, your mom, and Maggie will stay here, I’ll keep the bills paid, and we will decide in the coming weeks where we are going to go next.”
“I’m filing for divorce, Boone. I’ve already told you that,” my mother said, her voice harder than I’d thought it would be.
He looked defeated, and I wanted him to look torn apart like I felt, like she felt. Defeat wasn’t enough. He needed to feel agony.
“Whatever you want,” he finally said.
Mom stood up. “I’m going to my room. You have everything you need out of there, I assume,” she said without looking at my father.
“Yes.”
She bent down and kissed the top of my head. “Good night,” she whispered, then walked out.
My father didn’t make a move to leave, so I turned to him. “I’ll never forgive you. I hope you die a lonely old man with so much regret and sorrow you can’t find happiness. Not even in death. You tore us apart, but we will be okay. You won’t. You’ll never be okay again.” I stood up. “Don’t come to my games. Don’t come to my practices. Stay away from me. I want nothing to do with you. Enjoy the blond bitch and know she’s all you’ve got. That’s if she leaves her husband.”
That was it. I couldn’t say more. My chest hurt so bad it made it difficult to breathe. I walked out of the kitchen and to my bedroom. I didn’t move until I heard the front door close. I walked to the window and watched him toss a duffel bag in his truck, then drive away.
My memories of the life we had lived as a family were no longer comforting. I didn’t want to remember anything that man was a part of. It was almost as if my identity had been taken from me. Who I was compared to who I am now.
I sat down and pulled my cell phone from my pocket.
It’s done. He’s gone, I texted Riley.
Just saying it felt unreal. Like this was a nightmare I’d wake up from soon.
I’m sorry was her response.
So was I. So was I.