“You think he suspects?”
Logan cocked one eyebrow as he glared at me, but I still had no idea what he thought.
“Seriously. You think he knows?”
“You’ve been sketchy for weeks, sneaking around and acting all shady. Craig noticed something was up. So if Craig noticed you’ve been acting like a tweaked-out asshole, chances are the guy you live with has too.”
“Shit.”
“Doesn’t make any of it less special,” he assured me.
I wasn’t convinced. I wanted this to be perfect. Holden deserved a little perfect in his life, especially after everything he’d been through.
We’d gotten back less than two weeks earlier from testifying at his father’s trial. I knew how difficult it had been for Holden, but he’d been incredible up on the stand. I’m not sure if he helped his father’s case or hindered it. But Philip was going to be spending the next six years at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.
Holden seemed happier than ever, and having him in my life had irrevocably changed it.
Logan set his hands on both my shoulders, pulling my attention back to him. “Just, have a good time, and don’t fuck anything up.”
“Don’t fuck what up?” Holden asked, walking up to the triage desk.
“The surgeries,” he said, dropping his hands. “It’s a long drive to Belcourt if I have to come clean up his messes.”
“You ready to go?” I interjected, feeling the nerves already setting in.
“Almost. I just want to get changed outta these scrubs before we hit the road.”
“Okay, I’ll get the truck loaded up. Logan can help me.”
Holden walked away and I exhaled hard.
“Dude. You gotta get it together, or you’re going to blow it before you even leave the parking lot. I did not sign on for four days of being on-call so you could mess this up in the first ten seconds.” He shook me. “Get a grip.”
I glared at him. “I can’t wait until it’s you going through this.”
“We’ve already been over this. And even if, by some crazy sequence of events, I ended up being the one about to drop to one knee, I wouldn’t be falling apart. Jesus Christ. I’ve seen you pop somebody’s eyeball back into their head, but this freaks you out.”
“Oh, shut up and help me load the truck.”
He stopped talking, but I could hear him grumbling behind me. We weren’t going to throw everything in, just enough to make it look convincing. We were going to Belcourt, but we weren’t going for work. I’d booked us in at a resort a little north of the town, and I was hoping this wasn’t going to turn into an incredibly awkward trip if Holden said no.
“Thank you,” I said to Logan once we’d loaded everything up. “For all of this and for covering so much lately.”
He grinned. “You’re welcome. You guys deserve a little happiness.”
Holden walked toward us. “All ready,” he announced as he got close.
“Let’s get a move on, then,” I said, pulling open the door so he could climb into the truck.
“Gimme a call or shoot me a text when you’re all done and let me know how it went,” Logan said, turning so Holden wouldn’t see him winking.
I couldn’t help but laugh. “Will do.”
Winter was closing in on us, so there were already buckets of snow on the ground. The water was choppy as the ferry pulled away from the dock, and Holden was looking a little pale.
“You don’t get seasick, do you?” I asked. I wanted this weekend to go perfectly, and starting it off with Holden puking in the truck didn’t really fit in with my plans.
“Don’t think so. Never have before anyway.”
“Maybe we should get some air.”
We climbed out and headed up for the little deck, just as we had the last time we’d been on this ferry. That seemed like a lifetime ago. So much had happened since then, and it was crazy to think about what the next year would bring.
I tapped my pocket, feeling the ring box there, reassuring myself. We’d been together less than a year, but there wasn’t a sliver of a doubt that this was the right thing to do. I loved Holden. More than I’d ever loved anyone else before. He was it for me. This was it. And I wanted to make it official.
I reached for him, pulling him against me. The deck was empty, no one wanting to brave the freezing cold of outside if they didn’t have to.
I didn’t even feel it.
I closed my arms around him, holding him close and feeling the way his body fit so perfectly against mine.
“I am so in love with you,” I said. The words were out before I realized I’d spoken.
Holden looked up at me, snow dusting his hair. “I love you too.”
“I never thought I’d be grateful to Philip Prescott, but I am. I’m grateful he sent you to Sawyer’s Ferry and grateful he forced you to talk to me because I don’t know what I would do without you.” I let out a shaky breath. “There were parts of my life I didn’t even know were missing until you showed me how good it can be. I didn’t know I could be this lucky, and all I want to do is spend the rest of my life trying to make you as happy as you’ve made me.”
This wasn’t how I’d planned to do it. I’d planned a romantic evening at the resort, I’d thought long and hard about what I was going to say, and then five minutes into the trip I couldn’t wait another moment.
I took a step back and dropped to one knee.
His hands went to his face, covering his mouth as his eyes widened.
I took a breath and held it.
“Holden, will you marry me?”
He dropped to his knees and threw his arms around my neck, kissing me so hard I nearly lost my balance.
“Of course. Of course I’ll marry you.”
I kissed him again, in awe over the direction my life had taken. Holden had been a completely unexpected force of nature, barreling in and burrowing his way into my heart. But he’d changed my life. He’d changed me. And I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way.