Chapter Eleven

Arthur

Two days after having sex with Bailey in my suite, I still had no idea if I had made the right decision in asking him to leave me alone or if I had committed another major clusterfuck when it came down to relationships. I was known for having a bad judgment with men, and I still couldn’t decide about Bailey. I shouldn’t have spent so much time consumed with thoughts about him since I was the one who had asked that we keep out of each other’s way for the rest of the cruise. It wasn’t even that I thought I was wrong about him. I had seen the way his eyes bulged with greed when he walked into my suite. Only, I was slipping back into my old habit of not caring if the guy wanted me for my money. As long as I had what I wanted, and what I usually craved was their bodies, the chance to walk with a handsome guy on my arm. So what if I had to part with money to keep those relationships? It wasn’t as though the river would run dry.

I had spent the entire day yesterday moving about the vessel, hoping to catch a glimpse of Bailey. Although I knew where to find him, after the way I had chased him from my suite, I didn’t dare to knock casually at his door like nothing had happened between us. I would have preferred us having an ‘accidental’ meeting, but that didn’t happen. I ended up eating dinner alone in the same restaurant where I had bumped into him. After lingering too long and I was beginning to annoy the waitress, I moved to the bar. I flirted with the bartender, but the only thing I took back with me to my suite was Jack Daniels. Even while I flirted, I kept comparing the guy to Bailey. I kept hearing his hesitant voice, the way he didn’t even try to contain his moans as I slid deep inside him, and the way he would bite into his bottom lip.

The next morning, I woke up with the devil of a headache and my belly sloshing about like the sea we were traveling. A shower, coffee, and a bagel later revived me. I remained in my suite for breakfast since we would be docking at Key West for the day. The temptation to abandon the cruise and get off in Florida to spend the rest of the Christmas was so strong, but I kept thinking about not seeing Bailey again. I didn’t for a minute believe he would be back at my estate after the holidays to mow my lawn or clean my pool.

While I lingered over another cup of coffee, I rang Jo who was spending the time with his family. He always invited me to go along with him, but I always turned him down. I didn’t want to be the pathetic boss not going home with an employee because I didn't have any friends or family of my own.

“I wondered when you would call,” Jo answered the phone.

“Now seemed like a good idea,” I replied.

“What’s wrong now?”

“I—” I paused, frowning as Jo’s question sank in. He expected me to call because something was wrong. I quickly ran through the last calls I made to him and cringed to realize he was right in making that assumption. Jo was my go-to guy when I had a problem to talk over with someone.

“Actually, I just called to find out how you were doing,” I stated.

“You did?”

“Yes,” I confirmed more strongly. “Come on, tell me about your folks. How is everyone doing?”

After he got over his initial surprise of me calling to talk about him, we ended up talking for almost fifteen minutes. I found it oddly refreshing to have him talk about what was going on with him instead. I was forced to face the truth that I had been so self-centered and our friendship existed because he made the effort. Not because I did.

“What’s happening with you and Bailey?” Jo eventually asked which I knew he would.

“Uh nothing,” I replied.

“Nothing? I thought you were going to try to win him over?”

“I’ve had a change of heart,” I replied. “But that’s a discussion for another time. We’ve just docked at Key West so I should get going.”

“Okay. Call me if you need anything."

I hung up, determined to do the opposite. How many times had Jo picked up the pieces of my broken relationships? And not once did he complain. This time it would be different. I would figure out what I wanted from Bailey on my own. The truth was that I wasn’t sure I could treat Bailey like the others. Could I have him in my life knowing that all he truly wanted was my money?

I waited a while when we docked at Mallory Square since it would be pointless to move with the throng of people to get off the ship and explore. When I was certain a majority of the cruisers had already disembarked, I grabbed my wallet, shrugged into my coat and tucked my sunglasses into my shirt pocket.

Key West was a hub of activities, people from the cruise milling all about. I almost wished I had stayed on board the ship instead. Naturally, I headed for the nearest bar, and there were plenty in Key West. I didn’t find the kind of peace I usually did there however. Too many laughing people winding their way in and out of the bar reminded me I was here alone. No wonder people committed suicide during the Christmas season. It was a holiday that could treat you well or make you feel like utter crap.

The more depressed I felt, the more I drank until I decided to return to the ship. I was a little unsteady on my feet, but not completely drunk. I made it back on the ship and almost smacked into someone on the deck.

“Sorry about that,” I said, floral perfume filling my nostrils as I held the woman steady so she wouldn’t fall. She shrugged her hair out of her face and glanced up at me. Her features were drawn in irritation before she recognized me.

“Oh, you’re Bailey’s friend!” she cried, smiling. “I didn’t get to meet you the other night. I’m Emily.”

I had no choice but to shake the hand she offered to me. “We’re not exactly friends,” I replied. “Nice to meet you, Emily.” Not really. Who wanted to meet a lover's wife? The ring on her left finger held my attention, and I frowned, wishing I had allowed him to explain. I still didn’t understand this woman and the two kids.

“Well, he’s told me so much about you,” she remarked.

A strangled sound left my throat. He told her about me? I wondered if my assumption was right that they had an open relationship.

“He did?”

She nodded, her cheeks filling with color. “You don’t have to be awkward about it. I know all about Bailey’s relationships.”

“He told you about us?”

“Well, not all the interesting details.” She winked at me. “Just enough.”

“And you don’t have a problem with us umm…?”

She shrugged. “Why would I have a problem? Bailey is a sweet guy and passionate. I’m glad he found what he did with you.” She frowned. “Too bad he wants to focus on the kids over the holidays, but who knows? Maybe after Christmas you can get together sometime again. I think he would like that very much. It would get him out of the house.”

I blinked at her and frowned, swearing the alcohol I had consumed was distorting everything she was saying. There was no way this woman was giving me permission to sleep with her husband. She was practically offering him up to me. I glanced at her left hand again. Yup, that was definitely a marriage band.

“Are you sure you’re okay with the idea of us?” I had to ask just to reassure myself that I wasn’t hearing what I wanted to.

“Just don’t break his heart or anything,” she answered. “Because I’d have to pick up the pieces after. He’s already been through so much that he deserves as much love as he can get.”

I was too stunned to speak. If not for the ring on her hand, I would have thought she was just some random woman Bailey had taken on this trip. I had no idea how she could be so nonchalant about me sleeping with her husband.

“May I ask you something?”

“Sure,” she replied.

“Is your marriage out of love or convenience?”

“Love of course,” she answered perhaps too quickly. “I love my husband more than anything else in this world.” She frowned, and I had a feeling she was trying to convince herself more than me.

Talking to her was not helping me sort this out any at all, but she had given me permission to be with Bailey. Apparently they had one of those unconventional marriages. I no longer had to feel guilty about sleeping with him.