Chapter Twenty-One

Bailey

Confused, my smile dropped as I watched Arthur back away from me. He turned, his rigid broad back filling my line of vision before he disappeared.

“Arthur!” I called after him, but the loud music drowned out my voice. My call never made it to him.

“What’s wrong?” Emily, who hadn’t seen Arthur, asked me.

“I can’t believe you were right,” I told her, my brows creased in worry. “He took one look at us dancing and just left.”

Emily’s face fell. “Then what are you doing standing around here? Go after him.”

I shook my head, a bit miffed that he would be upset at something so silly. Was his faith in me so weak that he would see me dancing with a woman and be upset? He knew I was gay for fuck’s sake. What the hell was I going to do with Emily?

“I promised the kids a party,” I told her. “And I’m going to stay for it. I can talk to Arthur afterward.” When I cooled down a little from being pissed at him for walking out on us.

The evening was pretty much ruined for me, but I didn’t let it show. The kids were having too much of a good time. It was nearly two hours later when we finally decided to call it a night as I noticed they were yawning.

“Where did Arthur go?” Gina asked as I scooped her up in my arms since she was on the verge of falling asleep on her feet. I held Reggie’s hand and headed for the elevator, Emily behind me. She had also decided to quit for the night and go to bed.

“I’m not sure, darling, but I’m pretty sure he has a good explanation.” One I couldn’t wait to hear.

“But he didn’t even say goodbye,” she murmured.

“That’s because goodbye means you’ll never see him again,” I answered. “But you’ll see him tomorrow when you wake up.”

“Are we going home tomorrow?” Reggie asked. “I don’t want to go home. This was so much fun.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll do it again. What do you think?”

“Yeah!” they both exclaimed.

They fell silent, and by the time we arrived at the cabin, Gina was already fast asleep. Emily and I worked silently to get them both into bed. Reggie knocked out as soon as his head hit the pillow. I only took off their shoes, deciding to let them sleep as they were.

“You should go talk to him,” Emily said, sitting on the bed to remove her shoes. “The kids won’t be waking up any time soon, and I’m not far behind. I’ll be right here with them.”

I frowned at her. “You know the more I think about it, the more I’m starting to believe he should be the one to come to me and not the other way around.”

“It doesn’t matter who goes to who?” she asked. “The fact is that you have something special going on, and you want to work to maintain that. Just go already and explain we were just dancing.”

“I think that was kind of obvious.”

She pursed her lips at me. “You know what I mean.”

I sighed. “Fine. I’ll be back shortly.”

“Don’t. Stay the night. Make-up sex is the absolute best.”

I grinned at her words, some of my irritation swept away by her banter. I hurried to Arthur’s suite, hoping he was there and not hanging out elsewhere on the ship. He could be in the casino or any of the bars. I hoped he wasn’t at the bar. He had been doing so well in minimizing his drinking that I’d felt pleased. I knew he tried to change that because I had mentioned it to him.

I knocked at his door and almost left when I waited so long before I heard the knob turning. The stench of alcohol hit me first as the door opened. A disheveled Arthur held the door, a glass of liquor in hand. His shirt was unbuttoned, and I was almost distracted by the sexy smooth hairs on his chest. Almost but not quite.

“Can I come in?” I asked when he didn’t say anything.

“Hmm, normally I would say yes, but I’m not sure if I can afford you. What’s your usual rate per hour?”

I frowned at him. He wasn’t slurring his words, but he wasn’t making any sense either. “Are you drunk?”

He laughed, but the sound was hollow and without genuine mirth. “I’m getting there, but not quite.”

“Just let me in so we don’t have to do this in the hallway.”

He stepped back. “Suit yourself.”

I entered his suite, closing the door behind me. My heart skipped a beat when I saw broken glass shattered at the foot of one wall. A chair was overturned, and the cards the kids had given him for Christmas was thrown onto the small table in the room.

“For crying out loud, Arthur! All this because I danced with Emily?”

His back to me, I watched his head tilt back as he downed the rest of his drink. He plucked a half bottle of wine from the table and turned to glare at me as he poured more drink into the glass.

“No, all this because I believed you were something you’re not. All this time I treated you like you were the goddamn best guy to walk this Earth only to find out you’re just another common fuck boy, feeling his way around any man’s cock and cash.” He laughed, the sound bitter. “Well, that has a nice ring to it. Cock and cash. You can use it as a slogan.”

“I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about,” I replied, my heart thumping in my chest. There was no way he could have known. “You’re not making any sense. I already told you that Emily was just a friend. For fuck’s sake, Arthur, I’m gay. How does that even make sense in that brain of yours?”

“Gay or bi?” he asked. “You know what? I don’t even want to know. You can cut the act, Bailey. Just cut the fucking act. You played the part so fucking well, but I know everything…I know you sell your ass to make money.”

I gasped, the color draining from my face. How had he found out? Now it made sense. He wasn’t talking about me dancing with Emily. He had found out about my past. I sucked in a deep breath, trying not to show the shame I felt about it.

“I don’t sell anything,” I stated, aiming for a calm voice when all I wanted to do was panic. I was going to lose him for this. I just knew it. Wasn’t that the reason I hadn’t told him about it? Maybe I should have so I would have known from then that he wouldn’t want me. Then I would have saved myself from all this heartache of rejection because of something I did in the past to survive.

“Well, don’t just stand there and lie about it,” he remarked, taking another sip of his drink. “I saw the pictures. You were good enough that you ended up on somebody’s ‘would fuck again’ list. So tell me, Bailey, do I have anything to worry about? Because God help you if I get tested positive for anything when I get back to Birmingham.”

My heart clenched from the pain I felt at his words. “It’s not what you think,” I replied, my voice low and unsteady. “It happened a while back, Arthur. So long ago in fact that I just wanted to forget it. How did you find out?”

“I met one of your satisfied clients who couldn't help sing your praises,” he answered. “Older guy, potbelly, thinning hair, glasses. Now it makes sense you didn’t bat an eye sleeping with me. You’re already used to sleeping with the slim pickings once they have enough money to pay you for your time.”

My embarrassment fled, and my hackles rose. “You know, you’re the one with the problem, Arthur,” I told him through clenched teeth. “You’re the one with the self-esteem issues and bigotry. I love you for who you are, and I’ve never had a problem with your size.”

He laughed, placing the bottle on the table. “Now he confesses his love!” he announced. “What happened to earlier with the kids? You couldn’t say it then, but you want to say it now that I’ve found out your deception?”

“I have not deceived you!” My hands balled into fists at my sides. His words hurt more than they would have if I didn’t care so damn much about him and knowing my past was the reason all this was going down. “I simply didn’t tell you about my past! If it’s my past, what does it matter? Why should you care?”

He stalked toward me so we were face to face. “It fucking mattered because I was in no way prepared to see the guy I thought I knew being jizzed on by a bunch of dudes. You think my words hurt, Bailey? Imagine how I felt seeing you being fucked by different guys, being stuffed in all holes while men are high-fiving. Imagine how I felt hearing you being discussed like a-a-sloppy hole willing to take on any dick.”

I couldn’t hold back. I punched him in the nose and didn’t care that I held nothing back either.

“You fucking bastard!” he cursed, placing a hand to his bloodied nose.

I stepped back from him, overcome by blind rage that made me tear up. I blinked back the tears now and pointed at him. “You have no idea how wrong you are right now. So yes, I was a fuckboy. It’s not something I’m proud of, but it happened, and I have to live with it. If you can’t accept the fact that it’s not who I am anymore then, by all means, end our relationship. What I will not have you do is stand there and insult me because of it! I fucking love you, man, but my past is never going away. What the fuck do you expect me to do about it now?”

“I wanted you to deny it,” he said on a whisper. He dropped the glass, not caring that the drink spilled all over the floor.

I couldn’t look away from him as he approached me, his nostril still showing a trickle of blood. He was beginning to bruise, and I already regretted punching him.

“I can’t deny it."

“Oh God, Bailey!” He grabbed me by the front of my shirt and pulled me into him.

I clung to his arms, wanting him so much it hurt. To my embarrassment tears rolled down my cheeks.

“Just tell me it ain’t so, sweetheart,” he said, releasing my shirt to cup my face. “I don’t care if I saw the pictures. Just tell me that ain’t you, and everything will go away. I won’t care about the pictures. Just fucking lie about it. Make an effort so I know you want us to work as much as I do.”

I shook my head, placing my hands over his. “I can’t. I can’t lie to you, Arthur.”

“Don’t you get it?” he asked, sounding frustrated. “I don’t care if you lie to me. I’ve been lied to before, and I go with it. I just can’t accept you telling me that’s you in those pictures. Please, Bailey. I don’t want to lose you.”

I removed his hands from my face. “A relationship can’t be built on lies. Maybe that’s why your other relationships failed. The truth, Arthur is that seven years ago I was living on the streets and had no options. So I used what I had to survive until I had other options. My brother came to find me and took me off the streets. Now you understand why I feel indebted to him. Regardless of how or why it happened, the fact is that it happened, and if you love me, you’ll accept me and my past because it’s not going anywhere.”

Walking backward to the door, I could hardly breathe from the pain in my chest. He didn’t look at me, but kept his head bowed, and I knew he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about me servicing other men. If he couldn’t, we would have nothing. He would only be repulsed by me.

“You know where to find me if you change your mind,” I told him. “If you don’t believe anything else, Arthur, know that I love you. That’s as real as my past.”