CHAPTER SEVEN
Xan stood outside the door to Urho’s impressive home, his knees trembling and a sick temptation swelling inside him to leave without knocking and instead head several streets over to Monhundy’s house for another taste of just how monstrous he could truly be.
Swallowing hard, he stiffened his resolve and lifted the brass knocker twice. As the boom echoed in the large house, he wondered why a man as well-to-do as Urho didn’t have a doorbell. Probably Urho considered them too new-fangled, as old-fashioned and strict as he was.
A tall, middle-aged beta servant asked his name and led him to a room near the end of the entry hall, adjacent to a set of stairs rising to the second floor. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll let Dr. Chase know you’re here,” the beta said, a small smile on his lips.
Xan nodded and turned to the room at large, surprised to see that he’d been taken to the library. Larger than his reception room at home, all four walls were lined with books, spines in every color from ruby red to grass green facing out in ridges that rose to the ceiling.
In the middle of the room, across from a banked fire, sat a sofa and two leather chairs with a long, low table between them. Xan stood behind one of the chairs, his hands on the high back for stability, and waited for the sound of Urho’s footsteps.
There was no warning, though, before the door opened and Urho stepped inside on socked feet. His pants were wrinkled and his shirt was too. His hair stuck up in some places, as though he’d slept on it and hadn’t tidied the course salt-and-pepper curls yet. Xan had never seen the usually dapper, uptight Urho looking so disheveled.
“You’re here,” Urho said, and his voice sounded like he had taken up smoking in the time since they’d last seen each other. “Are you all right? Have your injuries worsened?”
Xan swallowed again, his throat tight. “I’m feeling better, actually. Thank you for the medicine and your help the other day. I know it must have seemed as though I didn’t want it.”
Urho stared, like he couldn’t believe Xan stood in his library. Finally, shaking himself, he gestured toward the furniture. “Have a seat. Wherever you like.”
Xan walked around to sit in the leather chair, leaning back and trying to still the jumpiness of his hands and legs.
Urho sat on the sofa across from him and ran fingers through his hair. His red-rimmed eyes scanned around the room. “Jennor will bring some tea.”
Xan nodded, and the door opened on the same beta servant carrying a ceramic tea set and a plate of cookies on a big tray. He put it down in front of Xan and Urho and then, when Urho nodded, left the room without a word.
“Help yourself,” Urho said, gesturing to the cookies before pouring the tea into small, red teacups. “Take as many you want. You look as though you’ve lost weight since I saw you.”
Xan wondered at that. It was true he hadn’t been eating well; between physical pain and his shame, he’d been pushing his food around for the last few days. Still he couldn’t have lost enough weight for someone to really notice. His brother Ray hadn’t said anything, and neither had Caleb. Did Urho see him so very clearly?
“I’m fine,” he said, putting several of the buttery cookies on a plate and accepting the tea Urho passed to him. “You look…” He gestured at Urho and left the words unsaid.
Urho glanced down at his clothes and huffed a strange laugh. “Forgive my slovenly appearance. I was napping earlier and—well, let’s just say it’s been an odd couple of days.”
“Rough times at the clinic?” Xan asked.
“There was a stillbirth, yes.”
“I’m sorry. That must be difficult.”
“Moreso for the omega than for me, but, yes, it does always bring back hard memories.” He glanced toward the only painting in the room, a portrait of a beautiful, blond, smiling man, wearing a red shirt and black pants. The man held up a scroll emblazed with a combined family crest—presumably the Chase family and whatever Urho’s omega’s family name had been.
“He was handsome,” Xan offered. A burning sensation started in his gut but he didn’t want to examine it too closely. Being jealous did no one any good. And besides, the man was dead. And had died quite young from what Xan understood. He hadn’t lived long enough to have a life to be envied, even if he’d been in Urho’s bed.
“He was perfect,” Urho said in a hushed tone, as though even the memory of his beloved was too holy to speak of aloud.
“This is a big library,” Xan said, changing the subject, but not daring to broach the one he actually came to address. “Mostly science books, I guess?”
“Quite a few. But I have some literature in my collection too.”
“I’m more of a comics and nickel-novel type, myself.”
Urho’s lips quirked in the first evidence of a smile he’d shown since he’d first come in. “I have some of those as well.” He rose and walked over to a bookcase near the door, ran his finger along the spines, and then came away with a blue book as thick as two finger-widths. “Here, this one is from before your time, I’d bet. But you might enjoy it.”
Xan took the book as Urho returned to his seat on the sofa. He flipped it open and colorful images leapt forth, along with the usual comic cells and speech bubbles. He glanced back at the cover: Cervantes and Snail, a complete collection. “I’ve heard of this, but you’re right, I’ve never read it.”
“Take it with you. It was a favorite of Riki’s, but it’ll just molder here. You should enjoy it.”
Xan licked his lips, a breathless, strange feeling descending. He’d never heard Urho mention his omega’s name, but there was no doubt that Riki was the blond man in the portrait. He cleared his throat. “I wouldn’t want to take something special of his.”
“It shouldn’t go to waste. Take it.”
Xan nodded and tucked the book into the pocket of his jacket. It fit perfectly. “So,” he said, an unusual shyness creeping over him. He glanced up at Urho through his lashes, surprised to find his friend’s dark complexion had gone vaguely pink.
Was Urho also remembering how Xan had grown hard as he’d pressed his finger inside and moved it around? Xan’s own face flushed hot and his cock thickened against his thigh. “You must be wondering why I’m here.”
Urho attempted a real smile, white teeth against dark skin, and then sighed. “I’m just glad that you are. I’ve wanted to see you again. Needed to, really.”
Xan’s throat went dry. “Why’s that?”
“I’ve been thinking about your situation. Truth be told, I’ve thought of little else.”
Xan shifted miserably in his seat. His stomach churned.
Urho held up a hand. “I’m not going to lecture again. I want to understand your predicament.”
“No one can.”
“I want to try. You need this?”
“Most humans need sexual release,” Xan said defensively. “Not all, but most.”
“And your omega—”
“Doesn’t interest me.”
Urho cocked his head. “But what of his needs?”
Xan glanced away. “We have an agreement.” He wasn’t about to mention the truth about Caleb. That was Caleb’s secret to share if and when he wanted to.
“I see.”
But Xan could tell that Urho didn’t truly see.
“He has a lover?” Urho asked. “A beta, perhaps? Someone you find unthreatening to your relationship?”
Xan pushed out a breath. “I didn’t come here to talk about him.” Though he had, hadn’t he? In a way? The pills he wanted to ask Urho for were only necessary because of his obligation to Caleb. “I wondered if you’d prescribe something for me. Something for stamina.”
Urho frowned, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees. “Stamina? Sexual stamina?”
“Yes. I have a hard time keeping up with Caleb during his heats. There isn’t another one coming for a few months, but I want to be prepared. I heard there were new pills that allow alphas to last a long time and rebound more quickly.”
“He suffers from nympho—I mean, interminable heat?”
“No. The problem is me.”
Urho’s dark eyes narrowed. “Because what you want isn’t what Caleb offers,” he said quietly. “His pheromones don’t arouse you?”
“They do.” But the smell of Caleb in heat only made him crave being penetrated all the more. He’d been a mess during their first heat together. Horny and full of longing, unable to take care of Caleb’s suffering and unable to fulfill his own needs either. He dreaded it coming round again. He had nearly gone mad listening to Caleb’s cries of pain. “But not in the…right way.”
He shook off the veil of sickening guilt that dropped over him, focused on Urho again, and said, “I need help. It’s hard for me to admit—even harder to ask—but you know our situation better than most, and so I’m asking you. Please, help me.”
Urho’s body tensed, and he closed his eyes, taking a ragged breath. When his lids popped open again, Xan didn’t recognize staid, old-fashioned Urho in the wildness he saw in the depths there. “I can give you the pills.”
“Thank you!”
“But I can offer more than that.”
Xan swallowed thickly. Was he going to suggest himself as an alpha surrogate for Caleb’s heat? He let out a shuddery breath, not sure what he hoped for, but signaling for Urho to continue.
“You can’t continue to see the man who hurt you.”
Xan groaned. “We’ve already—”
“Listen to me!” Urho commanded and Xan’s mouth snapped shut. “If you need this so badly, come to me for it.”
Xan gaped, taking in Urho’s pounding pulse, visible in the dark hollow at the base of his neck. He ran his gaze over Urho’s messy hair and his earnest—so intensely earnest—eyes. He sucked in a harsh breath. “What are you saying?”
“If you need—” Urho wiped a trembling hand over his mouth and then started again. “If you need help with your cravings, come to me instead of that man who abuses you.”
“Come to you for what?” Xan asked, blinking rapidly. “For a lecture? Tea? Medicine of some kind? What exactly do you plan to give me?”
“Sex. I’ll give you sex.”
Xan stared at him, his mind whirring and his heart sprinting madly. “You’ll what?”
Urho’s voice shook. “I’m offering to help you. I help omegas in heat—widowers, those without mates, those with nymphomania. This would be no different. And it’ll keep you safe.”
Xan scoffed. “No different? Are you kidding me right now? It’s completely different.”
“Why?” Urho choked.
“The Holy Book of Wolf says so, for one. The laws of our country say it is too. If you followed through on this offer, you’d find the actuality of the act plenty different. I’m not like an omega on the inside. I’m more like a beta in texture and feel.”
Urho licked his lips, his eyes growing glossy. “Those things may be true, but it doesn’t change my mind. It wouldn’t be the first time I’ve broken the law or defied the Holy Book to protect someone.”
Of course, Vale and his illegal abortion. And maybe other omegas too. Who knew exactly what Urho had been complicit in, despite his uptight ways?
Xan lifted his chin. “I’m not a charity case.”
“No, you’re…” Urho trailed off, shivered, and stopped speaking.
“I’m what?” His heart thumped.
“You deserve help with this problem.”
“Are you sick?” He gestured at Urho’s sweaty skin. “You look feverish and this offer is clearly the product of a clouded mind.”
Urho growled. “I’m not sick.”
Xan stood up. “Look, I just wanted pills to deal with Caleb’s heat. I don’t need a pity fuck from you or anyone else.”
“You want a violent, almost-rape, then? You’d rather him nearly murder you than accept me?” Urho leapt up, his fists clenched and his voice shaking.
Xan licked his lips. What was he doing? What was he turning down? This was his chance. He should take it. He should fall to his knees and beg Urho to make good on this generous offer right now, right now, right now.
But he couldn’t. He’d give anything for Urho to truly want him that way. But that’s not what this was about. It was about helping him, being some kind of hero. Doing something disgusting for the sake of Xan’s welfare, and not out of desire or need for Xan in return.
And if Urho was another alpha, any other alpha, maybe that would be enough.
But he was Urho. The man Xan had admired for four long years now, and this charity and pity wasn’t what he wanted.
“I came for help with Caleb. That’s all.”
Urho swallowed hard and stepped forward.
Xan’s knees went weak. “What are you doing?” he whispered.
“Get on your knees,” Urho commanded, eyes glinting dangerously.
Xan swallowed audibly, and his breath came in dizzying gasps.
“I said, get on your knees.” Urho’s fists clenched, his voice dropping into a deeper, terrifying register.
Xan quivered all over, his throat going dry. His body obeyed the words without any input from his spinning mind. The carpet beneath his knees was soft, and Xan’s cells seemed to roar with shocked arousal as Urho stopped in front of him.
“What are you going to do?” Xan asked, pulse pounding.
“I’m going to fuck your rude, ungrateful mouth,” Urho muttered, eyes shining and hot with lust as he motioned at the front of his trousers.
Xan licked his lips.
“Get to it.”
Xan’s fingers trembled as he loosened Urho’s pants and shoved them down his thighs. His breath caught in his throat as Urho’s dick sprang up and almost slapped him on the chin. He stared at the thick, dark length and licked his lips. The tip of Urho’s cock peeked through the sheath of foreskin, and pre-come glistened there, a small shimmery promise of the delicious feast to come.
Xan’s asshole quivered, and he bit his lower lip, wishing that he wasn’t still so sore. If Urho wanted to fuck him, it was going to hurt. His fears about whether or not Urho really wanted him retreated. With a fat, slick cock dripping in front of his face and the scent of Urho’s arousal rising thickly around him, it was hard to deny the truth.
“Open your mouth,” Urho ordered, desperation and a hint of rage slipping into his voice, making the hair on the back of Xan’s neck rise. He hurried to obey.
Urho’s head tipped back as Xan traced his pointed tongue against Urho’s slick cockhead, gathering his pungent alpha pre-come and wallowing it around his mouth. The bitter tang made his nipples pebble and his cock flex hard, dribbling his own pre-come against his thigh.
The scent of their desire twined in the room, and Urho groaned as he threaded his fingers into Xan’s hair. The sharp tug forward took Xan’s breath away, but he was ready. Spreading his lips and jaw wide, he kept his eyes tilted up on Urho’s face as he swallowed most of his cock down, and then relaxed his throat to allow Urho to push in even further.
Tears pricked his eyes, and his dick pounded against the fabric of his tight pants. He gagged slightly when Urho pushed in to his balls, gasping for breath as Urho slipped out of his throat with a moan. Then, hands gripping Xan’s hair, he thrust right back in.
Xan whimpered and gagged again as Urho set up a rocking pace. His hips twitched forward and back, allowing Xan a drag of breath between thrusts, and then depriving him of it again, and again, and again. Xan floated away on the rhythm, lost to all but the need to breathe on time and the way the fabric of his pants rubbed against his cockhead when he shifted his hips in tandem.
He reached up to grip Urho’s forearms, clinging onto him as Urho gripped Xan’s hair. Tears slipped down Xan’s face and thick saliva dripped down his chin, coating his neck and Urho’s balls, but the face fucking didn’t slow.
Urho’s eyes remained on Xan’s face, and every twist of his features transmitted his pleasure and spoke of the bliss he took from each push into Xan’s throat. “Touch yourself,” he finally gritted out, shaking Xan’s hand free of his forearm. “Make yourself come. I want to smell it.”
Xan’s eyes rolled up, gratitude at being allowed what Monhundy always denied swelling in him. He gripped his dick through his pants. He squeezed in rhythm to Urho’s thrusts. His balls buzzed with rushing jizz, and his thighs and stomach jumped and strained as the urge to come grew. He gripped Urho’s forearm harder with his other hand and surrendered, opening his throat and relaxing his mouth.
Urho cried out, sensing the submission, and crushed Xan’s face to his dark pubes as he crammed his cock deep into Xan’s throat. Xan’s yell was muffled, his orgasm yanking him into explosive bliss. Come pumped wildly from his cock, massive loads of it streaming down his leg, hot as piss.
He gagged and choked around Urho’s fat cock, pleasure gripping him in a seizure of sensation as his orgasm raged on. Urho yanked out of his mouth, aimed, and yelled as the splatter of his hot come marked Xan’s cheeks, lips, tongue, and throat.
Urho’s cry echoed in the room. Xan panted hard, sucking in hot, sweet air, tasting Urho’s pleasure in it like a musky perfume that coated him from head to toe. He licked his lips and used his fingers to shove Urho’s come from all over his cheeks and chin into his hungry mouth.
Urho stared down at him, eyes glassy and sated. A smirk of satisfaction twisted his mouth and a hint of proprietary pride gleamed in his eyes. He sat on the chair and pulled Xan to kneel between his thighs. He studied his face carefully, and then slid his fingers thorugh the lingering mess of come on Xan’s neck. He brought a fingerful up to Xan’s mouth and pressed it inside.
Xan sucked Urho’s salty finger and tongued the end of it gently. Urho grunted before leaning in to take Xan’s mouth in a hot kiss. Urho’s tongue slipped over his, and Xan kissed him back. He drew in closer, almost crawling into Urho’s lap, hearing small urgent sounds and knowing dimly that they came from his own throat.
Xan gasped when Urho drew back for a breath, his heart racing and cock thumping with renewed need that ached in his balls like a bruise.
“There,” Urho murmured, slumping back into the chair, his pants still around his thighs and his bare ass on the leather. His cock was still mostly hard, but was now going soft.
Xan bent close to lick it adoringly, a kittenish contentment flooding him in the aftermath of what they’d just done. He took hold of the root, fattening it up, and pressed the sensitive head into his mouth to gently rest against his tongue. It dribbled another spurt of come, and he swallowed it eagerly.
He closed his eyes, breathing deeply of the filthy scent that rose around them. This was the lust the Holy Book of Wolf condemned, this tender moment with Urho’s cock in his mouth. A warm reverence welled in him, alongside a new, shaky fear.
Urho stroked his hair, his fingers quivering against Xan’s scalp, but the sensation was soothing. Reassuring. Xan could relax. He wasn’t about to be beaten for coming, or for enjoying this, least of all for wanting it.
Minutes passed and Urho’s cock grew fully hard again. It forced Xan’s lips wide as he suckled the head gently. Urho did nothing about it, though. Simply ran his hands over Xan’s hair, making contented sounds. Finally, he said, “I know you enjoy being fucked but your hole can’t take it until it’s healed.”
Xan squeezed his eyes closed. He wanted to beg. Instead he sucked Urho’s cock more enthusiastically, bringing him up to a state of arousal that couldn’t be denied again. He reached his hand into his own messy pants and squeezed himself as he sucked and licked, bobbed his head, and groaned, as once again he brought Urho to climax. This time he swallowed the copious seed down.
Moaning, Urho slipped his cock from Xan’s mouth. He pressed Xan’s face to rest against his trembling thigh. His tight, dark balls twitched not far from Xan’s lips, so he scooted forward to lick and kiss them eagerly, hoping for one more round before whatever this madness was came to an end. One more orgasm before Urho woke to the reality of his offense to wolf-god and Xan had to face his exile to Virona.
Urho allowed him to lick his balls for a few minutes. Then he pushed Xan back by the shoulders and pulled his pants up from where they’d been around his ankles. He removed his gorgeous cock from Xan’s sight.
“Are you still in need?” Urho asked.
Xan pressed his palm against his hard cock, jammed between the fabric of his pants and his thigh. He gazed up at Urho dumbly.
“Show me,” Urho said, sounding surprisingly calm. “Stand up, take it out, and show me.”
Xan swallowed hard, but he rose, his hands working to get his pants open. The wads of come inside were overwhelming with pheromones and the scent flooded both their noses as he dropped his pants to his ankles. Urho licked his lips, leaned forward, and nuzzled Xan’s hip briefly before opening his mouth and sucking Xan’s come-slick cock in to the root.
Xan’s knees almost buckled as his dick pressed against and then passed Urho’s slick, hot soft palate. Heart skipping wildly, he dared to thread his hands into Urho’s course hair, holding on so that he didn’t fall. Urho groaned.
Instantly, Xan shuddered, pumping his load into Urho’s throat. He cried out, shocked by the suddenness. He tossed his head back to the ceiling, pleasure blinding him until he couldn’t breathe—shaking, jerking, coming so hard that his bruised muscles ached.
And then Urho released him, Xan’s cock slick with saliva, sliding from between Urho’s hot lips reluctantly.
“Turn around. Bend over. Put your hands on the coffee table.”
Xan barely managed it without falling over, ankles twisted in his pants bunched at his feet. But he moved aside the tea set and positioned himself on quaking arms, ass up in the air. He nearly hyperventilated as Urho’s hot hands landed on the globes of his ass and opened him for the second time in a week.
And then what he’d wished for—what he’d dreamed of the first time Urho had done this—actually happened. Urho’s hot breath glided over his ass cheeks, and then his slippery, hot tongue slid down Xan’s crack and tickled against his still sore asshole.
Urho muttered something unintelligible. Xan gripped the edge of the coffee table and cried out as Urho ate out his ass like he’d been dreaming of it as long as Xan had. The tea service rattled as Xan twisted and jerked in response to the sweet invasion of Urho’s tongue.
Xan’s cock twitched and jumped, pleasure rocketing over his rattled nerve endings, sending him into a state of madness. He rocked his hips, groaning, fevered, needing more than just Urho’s tongue—and then Urho pulled away.
He pressed a soft kiss to Xan’s aching, needy, hungry pucker. “This is mine now. Do you understand? This hole belongs to me.”
Xan cried out and came again, his body arching, come shooting onto the coffee table, the carpet, and his own face as he hunched and bucked, shocked by the wild and erotic shattering of his former understanding of sex and gratification. This, this declaration of ownership from Urho, was everything he’d ever wanted. Everything he’d known he’d never truly have.
He collapsed to the table, the cold wood a shock on his hot belly. The soft carpet beneath his knees again. Urho stroked down his back, slipped his fingers over Xan’s saliva-wet hole, and tapped it with his thumb. “Say it. I want you to say the words.”
Xan whimpered, shame and want fighting inside him. “My hole is yours.”
“Who does it belong to?”’
“You.”
“For how long?”
Xan swallowed, trembling all over, uncertain of the answer. “Forever?”
“Mine. Forever.” Urho kissed his hip and then his hole.
He tugged Xan back from the table and into his arms. He held him, kissing the top of his head, and the side of his neck above his collar. They moved to the sofa, collapsing there together. Their clothes were still disheveled, the scents of sweat and come dominating the room.
In shock, Xan rested with his head on Urho’s shoulder. His pants weren’t even fully closed, but they were both covered now. He watched avidly as Urho’s muscled chest rose and fell as he drifted off to sleep.
Time passed and Xan slowly came to his senses. Light faded outside, showing golden through the windows, and the clock on the mantel ticked. Carefully, he disengaged himself from Urho’s arms and reworked his clothes into a semblance of respectability, but only just.
He attempted to clean what he could of the mess they’d made on the floor and coffee table, using napkins from the tea service. Urho slept through it all, handsome and careless in sleep, his mouth slack and the edges of his eyes relaxed.
Finished with his attempts to obliterate evidence of what they’d done, Xan stared down at the man. He had no idea what any of this meant. Or what the promise he’d made entailed. But he knew he needed to go before Urho woke and they had to have some sort of awkward conversation that ruined everything that’d come before.
Slipping from the library, he let himself out the front door without alerting any beta servants and hustled down the street to his car. His body still sang with the pleasure he’d experienced, but his heart and mind were trepidatious.
He didn’t know what had come over Urho, how long he’d planned to make his offer, or even why he’d done it. But there was no way the promise he’d elicited at the end meant anything real. A promise extracted during a sexual high was no promise at all, and why he’d want to lay claim to Xan’s asshole was a mystery too.
But Xan couldn’t stop remembering the way Urho had demanded he repeat the words. He’d sounded sincere and resolute, as though Xan’s ass was something he’d been coveting for far too long and was determined to keep for himself.
Shaking the thoughts away, Xan focused instead on just getting home.
It wasn’t hard at all to drive past Monhundy’s house for once, and when he reached his house, he handed the car off to Lenser with a sigh of relief.
He climbed the stairs to his room. He needed to shower before seeing Caleb and reassuring him that he had the solution to the heat problem well in hand, and also some rather big news to impart. He hoped Caleb would take it well, because they had no choice but to leave in just a few days for a new life in Virona.
Removing his jacket, he took out the book Urho had given him. He opened it and stared at the inscription in the front:
For Riki with my love—Urho
He quivered, jealousy and wonder challenging each other in his heart. He flipped through the pages and then placed the book on the table beside his bed. Stripping off the rest of his clothes, he strolled into his bathroom, checking the mirror for evidence of what had happened.
Streaks of dried come on his neck and cheek, his tousled hair, and the still-glimmering shock in his eyes greeted him. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent, letting it into his lungs, imagining it passing from particle to particle, until his whole self was touched by the remnants of what had taken place.
Then he turned on the shower.
As the hot water poured down on him, washing away the intoxicating scent of him and Urho together, clarity descended and another realization hit. He sank to the floor of the shower, his heart twisting hard. “I’m wolf’s own evil,” he whispered.
Because of his wicked nature and inability to resist temptation, he’d let Caleb down yet again. He’d left Urho’s house without the needed pills for Caleb’s next heat. He truly was the worst alpha in the entire world. Caleb didn’t deserve being stuck with him.
And he’d lured good, upstanding Urho into temptation as well. He scrubbed himself ruthlessly. He didn’t deserve Urho’s scent.