CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Days slipped by in a haze of physical pleasure and emotional contentment the likes of which Xan had never known.
As they became accustomed to each other, the rules around their encounters relaxed—with renegotiations initiated only by Caleb during the rests between waves.
So long as neither Urho or Xan behaved toward him in a way that was overly ‘loverly,’ Caleb grew more playful, giving himself up to enjoyment of his omega needs with a raw, focused abandon that Urho openly admired, praising him and using Caleb’s pleasure to egg on Xan to greater heights.
And though the three of them eventually moved between most positions comfortably, it always ended with Xan knotted into Caleb and Urho knotted into Xan, and all of them delirious with bliss, just the way Xan liked it best.
As Caleb’s heat ebbed away, though, Urho stopped fucking Xan and began tending to his asshole instead. Xan fussed about it, regretting the loss of the knot, knowing he wouldn’t get to experience it again until the next time Caleb went into heat. And if Caleb fell pregnant, that could be more than a year!
But Urho was right to deny him. Not being an omega, Xan wasn’t built for knots, or accustomed to taking them, and while he’d enjoyed it immensely, often begging for a knot as much as Caleb had, the reality was that he was swollen and bruised inside. Even a single finger inserted now hurt.
It wasn’t particularly pleasant when Urho pressed ice and liniment into Xan between the final bouts of Caleb’s heat, either. They alternately chilled and burned him, and the promise of reduced swelling didn’t seem like enough to put up with the discomfort. Though Xan did love that Urho cuddled him close while the ice and medicine made Xan squirm and complain.
“Shh, don’t argue,” Urho murmured, kissing Xan’s forehead. “You’ll thank me when you’ve healed up and can take me again.”
“Don’t argue with your alpha,” Caleb murmured sleepily, his face tucked against Xan’s neck and his long body curled up, trembling with exhaustion. He was sticky and hot, but Xan wasn’t ready to let go of him yet. “He knows what’s best for you.”
“You wouldn’t say that if he’d put ice up your—”
Caleb clamped a hand over Xan’s mouth. “Don’t argue with your alpha.”
Xan rolled his eyes, but didn’t protest again. And even though it didn’t feel good at first, there was no doubt that as the last day wore on, his asshole became less swollen inside. He thought he’d be able to take Urho again before a week had passed with any luck.
Eventually, the heat was over, and Urho and Xan woke from a long, deep nap to the sound of the water running in Caleb’s bathroom and Caleb gone from the bed. Xan yawned and stretched, Urho kissed his chest and stomach, and Xan chuckled as he dipped lower and mouthed Xan’s cock.
“I’m broken,” Xan muttered. “It’s not going to get up again today.”
Urho licked the head, smiling as a little dribble of pre-come bubbled up despite his flaccid state. He crawled up Xan’s body to kiss his mouth. “I love you, alpha-shaped omega mine.”
“I love you too,” Xan whispered against his lips. “Thank you for being here with us.”
“It was an honor.”
“You are both disgustingly in love,” Caleb said from the doorway leading to the bathrooms and closets, wrapped in a robe and freshly showered. He smiled happily, though. “But, I’m quite glad about that, because I think we managed something pretty wonderful together.”
Xan sat up, his stomach flip-flopping. “Yeah?”
Caleb rubbed his flat belly. “I can’t promise anything, and who knows if it will truly take, but I feel different. I think we did it.” He broke into a grin. “I hope so. I’ve wanted a baby for so long. I hope he looks like you.”
Xan laughed, and Urho kissed his shoulder, sending a shiver through him. “Well, I hope he looks like you. You’re so beautiful.”
Caleb rolled his eyes, but looked pleased. “Let’s just hope he doesn’t look like Urho. Then we’d have some explaining to do.”
They all laughed softly, though it was impossible. Urho had only knotted Xan. There was a sudden quiet in the room as they all looked at each other and the future possibility hung in the air.
“Though perhaps one day…” Caleb said, shrugging. “Once an heir is secured. And once we’ve established that society and the rest of the world can simply go fuck off.”
Urho scoffed softly at the idea, but his cheeks grew a bit darker, and a wetness appeared in his eyes. Xan wondered if a child was something Urho would want with the two of them. A biological child of his own. Or if that was something he’d only wanted with Riki.
“We’ll start with this one,” Caleb said, smiling widely again and going to the curtains to throw them wide. A fresh, bright sun was rising on a clear day, and Caleb glowed in it like an angel. “I think he will be a very good place to start.”
Urho drew Xan into his arms, and the two of them admired Caleb, the hope of the future babe growing tangibly between them all, filling the room with promise.
“He’s not yet fully recovered, Mr. Heelies,” Ren said, his eyes drained and his skin gray with exhaustion. “But it appears your cousin will live. Though, if I may say so, he is much changed.” Ren pressed his lips together and then whispered brokenly, “The fever has left some damage.”
Xan, Caleb, and Urho sat in the library listening to Ren’s report. Dr. Bainson had returned to the town the prior morning, leaving Ren to care for Janus for the rest of his recovery.
“What kind of damage?” Caleb asked, a hand resting protectively on his stomach the way it had all morning during breakfast with Jason, Vale, and the new babe, whom they’d chosen to name Virona Sabel.
Xan questioned the wisdom of the name wholeheartedly, finding it a bit too on the nose, and he questioned Vale’s true poetic abilities if he didn’t see it. But the pink, screaming thing wasn’t his child to name, and in the end, they planned to call the babe Viro for short. That, in Xan’s estimation, seemed much more reasonable.
“Has his mind been affected?” Urho asked when Ren paused for a long time after Caleb’s question.
“In a way,” Ren conceded. “He is lethargic and moody. I think he could use some encouragement. He seems to be profoundly full of regrets.” He darted a glance at Caleb and then the floor.
“He’s no longer contagious?” Urho asked, putting his hand on Caleb’s knee, as though to stop him from rising and going to Janus immediately. Xan wondered how he’d known to do just that.
“He’s not. The doctor said that once the sheets were burned and the room scrubbed down, he was safe for any visitor. Mr. Sabel has gone to see him a few times since we followed those orders, but Mr. Janus doesn’t talk with him. And he refuses to leave the detached wing. Frankly, sirs, the servants would like to move back, but none of them dare to with him there. He roams the place like a ghost.”
“I see,” Caleb said, pushing Urho’s hand away and rising. “I’ll go to him now.”
Xan’s heart clenched, and he rose to his feet, wanting to grab Caleb and hold him back from going to visit his first… Not love. That was wrong. His first hope. But he only hugged Caleb and murmured, “Come to me when you’re done?”
“Of course,” Caleb said, kissing his cheek as though sensing Xan’s distress. “Don’t worry. My heart is devoted to our life together. I only want to help him.”
Xan nodded and watched with an anxiety he resented as Caleb followed Ren out the library door and into the great hall.
“He’s going to come back to us,” Urho said calmly. “Sit down. We’ll wait for him here together.”
“But what if he loves him?”
“He doesn’t. But, if he did, he’s carrying your child.”
“Is he?”
“I scent a change in him, don’t you? The spark of something different and new.”
“Yes.” Xan’s heart thrilled. “That’s our baby?”
“Yes.” Urho tugged Xan close against his side, nuzzling his hair. “That’s your baby.”
“Ours,” Xan insisted, and a beautiful smile creased Urho’s face.
Xan tried to rest with Urho, but he couldn’t stop imagining what was happening between Caleb and Janus. An hour passed, during which Urho read aloud to him from the small book he’d given Xan all those months ago. Urho had been pleased to find it in Xan’s bedroom, packed in with other keepsakes he’d brought from the city. It was a comic collection featuring an alpha boy and his pet snail; silly, but typically entertaining enough. Not today, though.
The phone in Xan’s office began to ring. He leapt up, eager for the excuse to move, but then his stomach knotted up hard. The only person who would call his library extension directly was Joon. Xan had left a message for him earlier in the day asking him to call and inform him of Ray and his pater’s progress since he’d been so disconnected from the world after bolting himself into Caleb’s room for the duration of the heat. He’d been waiting for a return call ever since.
“Lofton Estate in Virona, Xan Heelies speaking,” he said breathlessly, dropping into the seat by his desk. His heart hammered, and he wiped a hand over his mouth. “Hello?”
“Darling, it’s so good to hear your voice.”
Tears filled Xan’s eyes. “Pater?”
“I’ve called every day, and every day they told me that your omega was still in heat. Did it go well, love? Do you have hope?”
“Yes,” Xan said, his throat tight.
Urho leaned against the doorjamb, watching him curiously.
“I’m so glad. And you’re well?”
“I am. Are you?”
“Almost entirely.”
“And Ray?”
“He’s recovered beautifully. And all thanks to you and the medicine you brought for us. Your father has much to be grateful to you for.”
“Pater…” Xan squeezed his eyes closed. He sighed as Urho drew close and slipped a reassuring hand into his hair. “Father and I…”
“I know, love. And your father is wrong, was wrong, and has been wrong for a long time. He’s currently suffering the full weight of my displeasure. He’s miserable.”
Xan huffed a broken-sounding laugh and wiped at his wet cheeks. “I don’t think this is something Father and I will be able to get past.”
“Perhaps not.” Pater sounded calm, as though he’d expected Xan to say exactly that, as though he didn’t blame him. “I hope you and I will be able to move forward, though? I believe you promised me that this autumn I might meet a grandbaby?”
“Pater, you have to know—before you punish Father further—you need to know the truth about me.”
His pater spoke calmly. “You’re unmanned. I’ve known since you were a toddler with dimpled knees, darling. I’ve known since you turned to me with wide eyes and proclaimed Mr. Roling the most beautiful man you’d ever seen. Do you remember Mr. Roling, dear? A broad-chested, quite hairy, but kind-hearted alpha that used to direct the symphony?” Pater laughed softly. “We had him over for dinner once a month the entire year you were five.”
“We did?”
“Oh, yes. Your father was trying to impress me with his deep abiding love of music, or some such nonsense. It’s hard to remember. Your father is always trying to impress me with something.”
“Erosgapé,” Xan murmured.
“It’s a delight and an absurdity, love. In some ways, I think you should be grateful you don’t have one.”
“I have a lover,” Xan said softly.
“Do you? I’m glad. You deserve that, Xan. Does Caleb know?”
“He does. He likes him too.”
“That’s lovely, darling. Truly.”
“Pater, why…” Xan swallowed hard, his throat so tight he could barely breathe. “Why did you let him treat me so badly for so long? If this is how you feel? If you knew about me and you didn’t care? I don’t understand how you could just let him—”
Pater sighed heavily. “Your father is hard to live with, Xan. He’s jealous and petty. He’s always been afraid that I loved you more than him. Why you and not Ray, or even little Jordan, I don’t know. But he focused all of that alpha possessiveness onto you. I thought if I followed his rules, if I let him handle things the way he wanted, then he might understand that I love him devotedly, as only Erosgapé can—and perhaps he’d leave you alone.”
Xan scrubbed his face, tears slipping hotly down his cheeks.
“I was wrong. It never worked. He saw only what he feared to see. He heard only what he feared to hear.” Pater grew quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry, Xan. I should have stood up for you before now. I love you. You’re my dearest boy and I let you down horribly.”
Xan couldn’t tell Pater that he was wrong. He sat in silence, Urho’s hands on his shoulders, listening to his pater breathe.
Finally, Pater asked humbly, “May I come meet my grandchild this autumn?”
“Yes,” Xan whispered.
“I’ll leave your father at home.”
“Yes,” Xan agreed again.
“Can I bring Ray?”
“Please do.”
His pater sighed in relief. “Good. Let’s talk again soon?”
“Yes.” He felt like fool repeating the same answer, but the conversation felt too weighted and surreal for anything more.
“Oh, and, Xan? You will not be disinherited. Your father will do that over my dead body. Expect a call from Ray before long to discuss future assignments and plans with regards to the company. You are Xan Heelies, the rightful heir to Doxan Heelies, and my only living alpha son. You’ll have what’s yours.” His pater’s voice rang with determination.
“Thank you,” Xan said.
When the phone rested in the cradle again, he buried his head in his arms and fought back tears. Urho rubbed his shoulders softly, and then, finally, drew him up into his arms, holding him while he cried.
Urho watched as Xan walked out to the beach where Caleb stood staring at the horizon. He hung back, not wanting to assume more than he should, or pressure Caleb in any way. He knew one worried alpha was enough for any omega to contend with, two would be unfair.
Yet when Caleb turned and saw Urho lingering by the dunes, he rolled his eyes and waved him over. “Join us. You should hear this,” he called. Caleb grabbed Xan’s arm and tugged him into a giant embrace.
When Urho reached them, Caleb was saying, “As if I would ever leave you! Why are you such an idiot, Xan Heelies?”
Xan hugged Caleb fiercely, and Caleb reached for Urho too. The sea crashed behind them, waves pounding the sand as the sun slipped lower in the sky. It’d been a long first day after an intense heat, and they were all tired and emotional. Or that’s what Urho told himself as his chest grew tight with feeling.
He held so much in his embrace—two wonderful men and a future that, for the first time since Riki’s death, held real promise of joy. He hoped fiercely to keep it forever.
When they finally let go of each other, Caleb drew them down to the sand, where they sat letting the wind buffet their hair and beat at their clothes. Caleb finally spoke. “He says he’s in love with me and he regrets his behavior before.” He sounded tired—disappointed, perhaps, or something close to it. “When he rejected me after I told him that I was asexual.”
“He should regret it,” Xan said fiercely. “You’re wonderful.”
Caleb’s smile was thin, but he nodded in agreement. “I am. And he should. But he also wants me to run away with him.” He laughed at that, a belly laugh that lacked the bitterness Urho had expected. Then he shook his head and tried to shake the laugh off, growing somber again. “I told him no, of course. He cried. I held him. He’s a spoiled child, truly. He’s unaccustomed to not getting what he wants.”
“And you’re what he wants?” Xan asked anxiously. “Does he know…” he touched Caleb’s stomach. “About this?”
“I didn’t tell him. I don’t know if he could scent it. I don’t really care.” Caleb waved a long, lovely hand in the air dismissively. “He doesn’t want me, not truly. He thinks he does only because he’s so lonely and so sad. The life he’s made for himself—seducing married omegas and trying to take Xan’s inheritance for his own—is pathetic. Never choosing something because he wants it, never trying for something that could actually be his, only wanting things because they belong to someone else. It’s a child’s game.” Caleb sighed. “I hoped this illness would be a wake-up call for him. But I think he’s still stuck in the same rut. He has no idea of what he wants for himself. Not truly.”
“What if he truly does want you?”
Caleb snorted. “He doesn’t. But so what? If he did, well, it’s far too late.” He turned to Xan, taking both hands. “Do you really doubt that I want to be your omega? After everything?” He pressed Xan’s hand to his stomach. “After what we’re making together? The three of us?”
Xan shook his head. “I don’t doubt that you love me.” He looked toward Urho, and Urho’s heart skipped a beat. “That you love us.”
“Then don’t doubt that I want this life with you. I chose it. I chose you, remember? Not the other way around. We’re going to build something unique and perfect for us. Our children will grow up knowing true love comes in all packages. That there are different kinds of love and friendship. We’re going to quietly, gradually, begin to change the world.”
“You’re quite the optimist,” Xan said, laughing, the wind from the ocean tossing his curls wildly. Urho’s heart clenched with affection. He wanted to kiss each of Xan’s curls.
“I suppose I am. Urho can be our pragmatist.”
“Me? I’m the most ridiculous of us all,” Urho muttered. “I’m the one who intends to walk away from a very staid, boring, and safe life to become a happy blasphemer living in the perversion of wolf-god’s law.”
“Oh, wolf-god,” Caleb said lightly. “As if he cares whose dick goes where? Doesn’t he have bigger things to worry about? Like how well we love each other?”
“If that’s his biggest concern, then I think we’re doing all right,” Urho said.
Xan looked between them both. “I feel sorry for Janus. He’s missing out on so much. Not the least of which is my inheritance.”
“Oh?” Caleb asked, a smile spreading across his face. “Is that so?”
“According to my pater,” Xan said. “I talked with him on the phone. He and Ray are safe. And he says so is my place as the heir.”
“I knew he’d come around when it truly counted,” Caleb said, nodding. “He loves you and, more than that, he knows what’s right and what’s wrong. Don’t worry. He’ll straighten your father out in no time. Erosgapé can do that.”
Urho had guessed as much from what he’d overheard of Xan’s conversation. But it was still a relief to know that Xan wasn’t going to suffer the public humiliation of being disinherited, nor the potential legal ramifications of having his father declare before the Holy Church that Xan was unmanned.
“What do you think we should name him?” Caleb asked, turning his attention back to the sunset and putting his hand over his stomach again.
“It’s a bit early for that, isn’t it?” Urho said. “You have a lot of months to go.”
“It’s never too early to dream,” Caleb said. “I’m thinking something bright. Something clean. Blanco, maybe. For white.”
“Your favorite color,” Urho said, nodding.
“Or lack of color,” Caleb corrected.
“I like Riki,” Xan blurted.
Urho’s throat grew tight, but he remained silent.
Caleb’s smile grew. “Oh, yes. Riki. That’s a good name. Riki Heelies. I think that would be perfect.”
“What do you think, Urho?” Xan asked cautiously, the light of sunset glowing in his eyes.
Urho grabbed them both and held on with all his might, his heart pounding terrifically and his eyes close to overflowing.
“I think he likes it too,” Xan said, laughing.
“I think he loves it,” Urho gritted out. “Almost as much as I love you, Xan.”
The three of them separated, and Urho took Xan’s face in his hands, kissing him deeply.
“Ah,” Caleb sighed, getting to his feet and wandering closer to the surf, his voice carrying on the wind as he left them to it. “A happy ending. I always love those.”
Urho held the omega of his heart safely in his arms and had to agree.