Chapter Twenty-Two
Finn
I was so fucking nervous. Why did I agree to come to this again? I fixed my tie in the mirror for the twentieth time in the past ten minutes as I waited for Aaron to pick me up. I’d left work a little early so I’d have time to get ready, but it turned out I’d given myself too much time, and now I’d been obsessively checking myself over. My hair was gelled so it wouldn’t fall in my face and I was wearing a gray suit with a light blue button-up shirt and a purple tie. I’d decided to forgo the usual eyeliner since I wasn’t sure how Aaron’s coworkers were going to react to me being not only a man, but a baker to boot, let alone wearing makeup. I didn’t need another thing to make me stand out. I wasn’t used to being around doctors, so I didn’t know what to expect. And I really didn’t want to draw unnecessary attention to myself. I’d even put in a tan eyebrow ring so it would be less noticeable.
Finally there was a knock on the door which made me jump out of my skin. I swung the door open and gasped. Holy hotness, Batman! Aaron was wearing a black suit with a white shirt and a dark green tie. The suit fit him perfectly, showing off his sexy shape. His dark brown hair was styled, making his amber eyes shine even more than usual. He was gorgeous.
“You look magnificent,” Aaron said as he stared at me with wide eyes.
I smiled. “Thank you. You don’t look half bad, yourself.”
He huffed out a laugh, then leaned in and pecked my lips. “You ready?”
“Yep,” I said, grabbing my phone, keys, and wallet, and shoving them in my pockets.
As we walked to the car, he asked, “No eyeliner?”
I glanced at him. “Uh… not tonight.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t sure if your friends would be weird about it. I mean, I don’t even know if they’ve ever met one of your boyfriends before, so I…” I trailed off when I realized Aaron had stopped walking. “What?”
“You aren’t wearing it because you’re afraid of how they’ll react?” He looked shocked and annoyed.
I shrugged. “Yeah, I guess.”
He huffed out an exasperated breath, then walked over to me and grabbed my hand, pulling me back toward my apartment.
“What are you doing?” I asked, letting him lead me.
“Taking you back so you can put on eyeliner and whatever else you normally wear,” he said.
I dug my heels in and forced him to stop. “No. I don’t want to in front of your friends.”
He grabbed my shoulders and looked me in the eyes. “Baby, if someone has a problem with you or something you do or wear, they’re not welcome in my life. Don’t change who you are for some asshole that might say something. If anyone does, I’ll kick their ass, anyway.”
I searched his eyes, then leaned forward to tuck my head under his chin for a few seconds. “Are you sure it won’t be weird?”
“It’ll be fine. No one will care; the people I work with are really good people.”
I blew out a breath and looked at him, then nodded. “Okay.”
He smiled at me. “Come on, let’s run back in real quick.”
We went back inside and I added my eyeliner before letting Aar drag me back out to the car. Once we were on the road, Aaron reached over and grabbed my hands, stilling them on my lap. “What has you so fidgety right now?”
I blew out a breath, trying to calm my nerves. “I don’t know. I’m just… ugh, I’m still really nervous, even after everything you said.”
“It’s going to be fine. Everybody’s going to love you.”
I sighed. “I doubt that. I’m nothing like these people.”
“What in the world does that mean?” He sounded offended. Great, now he’s gonna be mad at me.
“I didn’t mean it like that. I just meant that they’re all doctors who probably make more money in a month than I do in a year. I’m not going to have anything in common with them.”
He squeezed my hand. “You and I get along. Why would you think they’d be any different? They’re just people, Finn. Money has nothing to do with it.” He waved me away a little without letting go of my hand. “I doubt any of them make as much as you’re thinking, anyway.”
I bit my lip. I had no idea how much they made. And he was right, money had nothing to do with it. It wasn’t like money was something I ever thought about, anyway, so I didn’t know why I was making it an issue now. But I still couldn’t shake the feeling that I was going to stick out like a sore thumb.
I scooted over in my seat and leaned my forehead against his shoulder. I was really starting to hate the center console in his car. I closed my eyes and spoke without moving my head. “I’m just nervous about meeting your friends.”
His voice was calm and sweet. “You have nothing to worry about, Muffin. Everything will be fine. I’ll be with you the whole time, and if you’re too uncomfortable, we can always leave early.”
I sat up to look at him. “There’s no way I’m making you leave your Christmas party early.”
“It’s just a work party. No big deal.”
I eyed him, but didn’t correct him. It was a big deal, and there was no way I was going to let my insecurities ruin it for Aaron. I took a deep breath and steeled my nerves.
Aaron held my hand as we walked up the stairs to the private room on the top floor of the fancy restaurant I’d never even heard of before. Right before Aaron opened the door, he paused and looked at me. He cupped my cheek and tilted my head up a little so he could kiss me. His lips stayed against mine in a light but long kiss, making my heart flutter at the sweetness of it. He was grounding me, showing me that he cared about me and not this stupid party or anything else. It was exactly what I’d needed.
When he pulled away, I could see in his eyes how much he cared about me, and I knew he’d be able to see how much I loved him reflected in mine. I didn’t say the words, though. I’d been choking on them for weeks, but I was still scared to say them first. I knew he’d said them before, but it was in the heat of the moment when I was freaking out on him, and before we’d really gotten to know each other again. But I loved him even more today than I had back in high school. I loved him more than I’d ever thought was possible. I’d had no idea that I was even capable of this kind of love. And impossibly, my love for him grew every single day.
I smiled at him, then went up on my toes so I could kiss him on the tip on his nose. He smiled back, kissed my forehead, then nodded at me. At my own nod, he opened the door and walked in without letting go of my hand. I was squeezing so tight, I didn’t think he’d be able to pry his hand out of my grip, but he didn’t even try. For which I was grateful.
He led me over to a woman who looked to be in her fifties with brown hair and gentle brown eyes. Aaron said, “Evelyn, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Finn.”
I glanced at him for a second before holding my hand out to Evelyn. “It’s nice to meet you.”
She smiled brightly, shook my hand and patted the back of it with her other hand. “Oh, it’s wonderful to finally meet you. Aren’t you a sweetheart?” She looked me over, then looked at Aaron without releasing my hand. “He is adorable.”
I blushed and Aaron laughed good-naturedly as he said, “He is.”
Evelyn still hadn’t released my hand as she began speaking to me. “I have never seen Aaron as happy as he’s been the past two months, and he hasn’t stopped talking about you. The man hardly said more than two words that weren’t work-related before you came along. Now I can hardly shut him up once he gets going with his Finn stories.”
I laughed and looked at Aaron, who was looking away from me with a blush running up his cheeks, though he couldn’t hide the small smile on his face. I looked at Evelyn and said, “Well, I’ve heard a lot about you, too. He thinks you hung the moon.”
“Oh.” She smiled and patted my hand again before finally letting it go. She waved my comment off. “Would you like to get a drink from the bar?”
I looked at Aaron and he nodded, then started pulling me along, holding my hand in front of all of his coworkers. “What are you drinking, Evelyn?” he asked.
“Gin and tonic,” she replied, following us over to the bar.
“You want a beer?” Aar asked me.
I nodded. “Sure.”
He ordered our drinks and once we had them, we found a table to sit down at. There were appetizers being carried around by servers, and dinner menus at each place setting. A few more people sat at our table and Aaron made introductions. Every single time, he introduced me as his boyfriend. It made me smile. In high school, he hadn’t wanted anyone to know, not that I could blame him, but now it was like he was proud to have me beside him.
“So I hear that you work at a bakery?” one of Aaron’s coworkers asked. I was pretty sure his name was Desmond and that he was a nurse. He was in a black suit, had grey eyes and blond hair, and was pretty good-looking, if a little young.
“I do,” I answered, turning a little toward him. Aaron and Evelyn were talking to some woman I couldn’t remember the name of on my other side. I took a sip of my beer. “I own a bakery with my two best friends.”
“Oh, that’s right. I remember Aaron saying that. You decorate the cakes or something, right?”
“Yep. I design and decorate them. And I make custom cake toppers. And some crazy shaped cakes.” I shrugged.
“That’s really cool. I might have to come to you for my daughter’s tenth birthday cake. My ex-wife wants to have a huge party together for her. I think I was volunteered to order the cake,” he said with a half-smile. I couldn’t believe he had a daughter that old. He barely looked twenty-five. I remembered Aaron talking about him when he was hired about a month ago, though, and calling him a good kid. It made me think that maybe he’d had his daughter at a really young age.
“Come by the bakery and I’ll hook you up,” I replied easily. “It’s called Aaron’s Bakery, over on Ross and Fifth.”
He smiled at me. “Well, at least it’s an easy name to remember.”
I huffed out a laugh. It was totally embarrassing now that Aaron was in my life again, but there wasn’t anything I could do about it. Changing the name after eight years of building our business wouldn’t be a very smart move.
As I continued chatting with Desmond and the girl beside him—I thought her name was Christine—Aaron put his arm on the back of my chair, then held on to my shoulder, rubbing his thumb back and forth, and occasionally squeezing me. No one batted an eye at us, and it became surprisingly easy to hold a conversation with everyone at the table. Slowly, my nervous energy turned into excitement at being out with Aaron’s friends for the first time. I knew he said they were just coworkers, but they all seemed to genuinely like him—not that I blamed them; he was amazing. I vowed to start making Aaron go out with them after work. Maybe if I promised to meet him after work for a drink, he’d actually go. He needed people in his life. As of now, the only person he even considered a friend was Evelyn, and he didn’t have any family. Well, not any family that he spoke to. I supposed he technically had living blood relatives, but they didn’t count. Evelyn was more his family than anyone… Evelyn, and now me.
I was able to speak to Evelyn a little throughout dinner, so my theory that she was Aar’s family became a fact. She treated him like he was her son. It was quite endearing.
Once we finished our food, Aaron leaned in and whispered into my ear, “How you holding up?”
“Good,” I whispered back. “Desmond is really nice. So is Christine.”
He smiled. “They are. You doing okay?”
I nodded. “I am. I’m having fun, actually.”
“Not as scary as you thought it’d be?”
I shook my head and smiled at him. He gave my hand a squeeze before turning to talk to Evelyn. I refocused on Desmond and found him giving me a weird look. “What?”
He shook his head and said, “Nothing. Sorry.”
I eyed him for a moment, but didn’t know what to make of it. “Okay?”
“Uh…” He sighed. “I was just wondering how you were taking the whole new job thing?”
I furrowed my brow. “What? What new job?” What the hell was he talking about?
“Aaron’s new job at the children’s hospital. That’s gotta be hard knowing that he’s going to be moving soon.”
I felt all of the blood drain from my face, and I suddenly couldn’t get enough oxygen. I grabbed the edge of the table and looked over at Aaron, but he was facing the other way talking to the other side of the table.
I heard Desmond’s whispered voice. “Oh, no… you didn’t know, did you?”
Instead of answering him, I jumped out of my chair, making way more noise than I’d meant to, and headed quickly for the door. I heard Aaron yell after me, but I ignored him. I needed to get out of there. Get away from all of these strangers before I had a major breakdown in front of them.
My heart was pounding frantically, everything sounded muffled, and I felt like I was going to throw up. I practically ran into the bathroom and immediately started splashing cold water on my face. I squeezed my eyes shut before my emotions decided to escape through them.
How could Aaron be leaving me? I thought we were on the same page. I thought we wanted the same things. I thought… I thought he loved me.
“Finn? What happened? What’s wrong?” Aaron’s voice behind me made me open my eyes and whip around to face him.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked more angrily than I’d meant to.
Aaron flinched back and in a timid voice asked, “Tell you what?”
“That you got a new job. That you’re leaving.”
“Who told you that?” He looked a little pissed.
“Seriously? That’s what you care about right now? Were you even going to tell me that you were leaving?” I yelled.
He flinched again. “I didn’t mean it like that. I was asking who told you because it isn’t true.”
I deflated a little. “What?”
He sighed and scratched behind his neck. “I was offered the job, that much is true, but I’m not taking it.”
I leaned my ass against the sink and crossed my arms over my chest. “Why not?”
Aaron glared at me, then did a weird gesture toward me. “Are you serious right now? I’m not leaving you, you little ass.”
I blinked at him, then said slowly, “But he said it was at a children’s hospital.”
He shrugged. “Well, you’re here and the hospital’s in California, so it’s not going to work.”
I looked down and closed my eyes for a moment. Fuck. I took a deep breath before quietly asking, “How long have you known?”
“Over a week.”
I swallowed thickly. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
He walked a few steps away and scratched the back of his neck again. He kept his back to me as he spoke. “I don’t… I just didn’t want you to feel guilty, because I know how you are.” He shrugged, keeping his hand on his neck. “I didn’t want you to tell me that I should go.”
“You should,” I whispered.
Aaron turned around, dropping his hand. “Really? You want me to move away?” His eyes were shining, obviously filling up with tears.
“No, of course not. But working in pediatrics is your dream, Aaron. I don’t want to be the reason you don’t get to live your dream.”
I saw a tear roll down his cheek and he angrily wiped it away. “We’ve been down this path before, Finn. It didn’t end well. Especially for you.”
“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”
“The last time we decided to follow our dreams, you tried to kill yourself. More than once,” he whisper-yelled angrily.
My heart constricted in pain at the realization of what he was saying. I felt my own eyes fill with tears, but I tried to hold them back. “Is that the only reason you’re not going? Because you’re afraid I’ll kill myself?”
“What? No. I didn’t mean it like that.”
“Feel free to explain how you did mean it, then,” I said. When Aaron simply stared at me, I huffed out a humorless laugh. “That’s what I thought. You know what? Fuck you, Aaron.” I stormed past him, then looked over my shoulder. “I’m going home, so no need to worry about me.” I walked out before he had a chance to respond. I called up Layla as I rushed out the front of the restaurant.