Chapter Three
Aaron
I didn’t believe it was him. I couldn’t. Not until I heard my name whispered off his tongue. Hearing his voice again made me shiver. I’d recognize it anywhere, even if it was a little deeper than before.
I couldn’t help but whisper back, “Finn.” And he smiled at me, making his whole face light up. I was frozen, staring at that smile that had haunted my dreams for such a long time. I could do nothing but take him in… and try to stop myself from pulling him to me like I’d done a million times in my youth.
He looked older, but still looked younger than me, even though we were only a few months apart. He’d always looked young. The eyebrow ring he was sporting, along with the dark eyeliner under his eyes, only added to his youthful look. That was… different. Though it was definitely a sexy look, that’s for sure. He looked small. Well, still small, I guess. He’d always been a lot shorter than me, and he used to be so skinny. He was still thin, just not skinny or anything like he’d been in high school… he seemed healthy. But my god, he looked good… real good. I had to swallow thickly to stop from drooling and embarrassing myself. I looked away before I opened my mouth and began begging Finn to let me kiss him. I didn’t know him anymore. For all I knew, he had a family.
I looked over and saw Tad lying on the stretcher. He was looking between the two of us, wearing a big bandage on his head. As I looked him over, searching for any other injury, I couldn’t help but stare at his hand. The hand that was holding Finn’s hand.
I swallowed thickly again, a mixture of emotions—jealousy, grief, surprise, happiness, confusion—overtaking me for a moment. But then I cleared my throat and said to Tad, “I see you’ve moved on.” It’d only been about two months since we’d broken up, and here he was with the man of my dreams—literally—holding his hand in the freaking ER. My ER.
Tad looked at me, confused, then looked at his hand before asking Finn, “You know each other?”
Finn glanced at me, but I didn’t miss the way he squeezed Tad’s hand, then looked back at his boyfriend. “Aaron and I grew up together.”
I watched as a flash of hurt washed over Tad’s face. I knew he was putting the puzzle pieces together, figuring out that Finn was, well, my Finn. The one that got away. Tad and I had been together for nearly two years, so we knew pretty much everything of one another’s pasts. When Tad finally got his emotions under control, he said to me, “I thought Finn lived in Baltimore.”
I opened my mouth, but nothing came out. I was frozen in shocked silence. But Finn answered for me. “That’s where I went to culinary school. I haven’t spoken to Aaron since before I moved there after high school.”
Tad nodded, but still looked hurt.
Finn completely ignored me and turned to his boyfriend, or whatever he was. I scowled at him when he said, “So this is your asshole ex, huh?”
Tad actually smiled a little at that and turned to face Finn. “Yeah, he is.”
“Well, it looks like we have something in common, then.”
At first I was seriously offended by Finn’s statement. I hadn’t been an asshole at all to him. But then he gave me a sideways look that said he was joking. I was surprised that even after all these years, I was able to read him so well.
I cleared my throat. “Let me take a look, Tad.” When he turned, he glared at me, but moved so I could get a closer look at his head wound. “Can you tell me what happened?”
“We were out to dinner and the waiter tripped, sending his tray flying at my head,” he answered with a wince as I pulled the bandage off.
I glanced at Finn and saw him cringing, though his cheeks were turning red. What the heck was he embarrassed about?
“Okay, I’m going to clean it real well, and replace these butterfly bandages with some stitches, since they weren’t pulled tightly enough to close the wound.” I did a few tests, then concluded, “It looks like you have a mild concussion. I’ll get you some Tylenol to take here, then just take it easy over the next couple days as needed. Make sure you get plenty of rest, don’t do anything strenuous, and no driving for a few days, okay?”
“Fine.” He didn’t sound particularly happy about that.
I looked over at Finn, cleared my throat, then asked, “Can you drive him home tonight?”
“Of course,” he said quietly without looking at me.
I eyed him before getting up, taking off my gloves and washing my hands. “I’ll go get you that Tylenol. Any over-the-counter pain reliever or headache medicine will do.” I dried my hands and turned back around, surprised to find Finn standing right behind me.
“Aaron,” he whispered again in that sweet voice of his.
“Finn,” I whispered back.
Then before I could register what was happening, Finn threw his arms around my waist and tucked his head under my chin. I was in so much shock that I didn’t move at first. I glanced at Tad and saw him watching us, but he didn’t look mad or anything, so I assumed the hug was okay with him. I wrapped my arms around Finn’s back and held him tight. It felt like he was trembling… just like he had on that awful night twelve years ago.
“I can’t believe you’re really here,” Finn said into my throat, muffling his voice.
“I never thought I’d see you again,” I admitted, unable to help myself from holding him tighter.
“Me neither.”
We fell quiet for a minute, just hugging one another. But then I realized that I was hugging my ex-boyfriend’s boyfriend, and decided that I didn’t want to hurt Tad any more than I already had. So I released Finn and stepped back.
Finn smiled sadly at me, but then he said, “Can I have your number? Maybe we can get together and… catch up?”
I glanced at Tad again, but he was looking down, playing with the hospital blanket and pretending he wasn’t paying attention to us, even though I knew he was. Then I looked back at Finn’s hopeful face and knew that I couldn’t say no to him. I never could. “Sure.” I held out my hand and he passed me his phone. After I entered my number and passed it back, he called my phone so I’d have his too.
Then I decided that I needed to get the fuck out of that room. Having my most recent ex and my first-ever—first everything—ex in the same room as me was messing with my head. So I made my excuses and practically ran out the door.
I had to. The longing to pull Finn flush against me again was becoming stronger with every passing second I spent with him. But I couldn’t do that to Tad, so I had to remove myself from the temptation. Even if it felt like my heart was breaking all over again with every step I took away from him.
I ran away from him, but I couldn’t run away from the memories. And one in particular hit me like a ton of bricks.
“Aaron?” Finn asked from beside me. We were lying in the grass at the edge of the lake, looking up at the clouds. It was our spot. We’d discovered it three years ago when we were twelve, and had been coming here ever since.
“Yeah?” I asked, fidgeting with the hem of my shirt.
“What’s wrong? You’ve been acting weird all day.”
I sighed. I’d been trying to gather my courage to tell Finn my biggest, darkest secret. I’d been wanting to tell him for months now, but I’d been afraid he’d hate me. I didn’t want to lose my best friend. But last night, I’d promised myself that I’d tell him today. Only, I wasn’t sure I could go through with it.
Finn suddenly turned on his side to face me and propped his head in his hand. He had a serious expression on his face, which was unusual for him. He was usually the goofball of the two of us. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”
I could see the sincerity in his eyes. I trusted Finn more than anyone else in my life, and I needed to get it out. I needed to tell someone before I burst. So I took a deep breath and blurted, “I like guys… but I like girls, too. I’m…” I huffed out a breath. “I’m bi.”
He stared at me for a few seconds before he suddenly slammed his mouth against mine. I was so shocked that I didn’t move right away. But when I finally regained my wits, I grabbed his shoulders and pushed him off me. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing you, obviously.” He was smiling.
I stared at him in confusion, but then understanding dawned on me and I looked at him in anger. “I was being serious, Finn. This isn’t a joke, and it’s not funny to make fun of me for it.”
His brow furrowed and he whispered, “I’m not making fun of you, Aar.” He was the only person I ever let call me Aar. “I would never do that.” He reached over and ran his thumb across my bottom lip, making me gasp. “I’m gay, Aaron. I like boys.” He cleared his throat before whispering so quietly I barely heard him say, “I like you.”
Could it be? Could he really be gay, or was he making fun of me? No, he wouldn’t do that, would he? Could the boy I’d been in love with for years really like me back? I searched his eyes and could see the truth behind them. “You do?”
He smiled and nodded, then moved closer to me so all I’d have to do was tilt my head and our lips would touch. Finn’s smile was sweet as he whispered, “Don’t you see, Aar? It’s fate. We were meant to be together.”
He knew my opinion on fate. But I couldn’t deny just how perfect it was. I didn’t know what to say to that, so instead I reached up and grabbed the back of his head, pulling him down to me until his lips were on mine again. Our teeth bumped and I felt him smile against my lips, then he was on me with new vigor. He devoured my mouth with a desperation I’d never felt from him before, though I was just as desperate for him. We were both fumbling and I wasn’t sure where to put my hands, so I gently put them on his waist, but I wanted to touch him. So I sat up and tried to pull him into my lap so I could get my hands all over him, only he didn’t move like I’d wanted. I tried again, and he finally seemed to understand because he gingerly climbed onto my lap, accidentally kneeing me in the stomach and making us both laugh.
I kissed him again as he held onto my shoulders, and I ran my hands under the back of his shirt. I’d been dreaming of this moment for years, there was no way I was going to pass it up. We removed our shirts—we were a little clumsy in our haste, but eventually we were both shirtless. And our mouths were on each other again as I felt his skin against my own.
Finn suddenly pulled away, breathing hard. He looked upset for some reason and I was scared that I’d done something wrong, or that he’d changed his mind. “Aaron…” I looked away, ready to push him off me so I could run far away… far, far away. But then Finn grabbed my chin, forcing me to look at him. He looked serious again, and I was scared of what he had to say. But then he smiled. That smile that made me fall in love with him. I think I’d always loved him.
He whispered, “Aaron, if we do this, we’re in it together, okay?”
“Huh? How else would we do it?”
He bit his bottom lip for a second before saying, “I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“What do you mean?” He was my best friend. My only real friend.
“Ugh… I mean… I want to be with you.”
“I don’t… I don’t know what you’re trying to say.” I was more confused than when he’d started talking.
“You’re my best friend. I want more.”
I just blinked at him, still not getting it. He was my best friend in the whole world. I’d do anything for him if he’d tell me what it was he wanted.
His eyes softened, as if he’d somehow read my mind. “I want to be your boyfriend, you big oaf.”
“You do?” I asked stupidly.
He laughed at that. “Yes, I do.” I didn’t know why I was surprised by his declaration. Finn had never been shy about voicing what he wanted. And he always had to be clear about it. He knew what he wanted and he made damn sure that everyone else knew it, too.
I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him back down to me. “Yes,” I breathed into his mouth. He moaned when our tongues met again, so I flipped his small ass over and covered him with my body. He laughed into my mouth, then moaned again when I ground my hips against him.
“Aaron,” he whispered into my mouth.
God, that voice. His voice was a little deeper now, but there was no denying the way he’d said my name. Every time he’d said it, the entire three years we were together, he’d said it with so much meaning behind it. Much like he’d said it just now, back in the room. Back in Tad’s room.
I shook off the unwelcome memories and decided to try to forget about the man I still dreamed about on a regular basis.