Chapter Thirty
Finn
“Are you sure you want me to do this?” Aaron asked me for what must be the hundredth time today. He was supposed to drive to his new apartment in about an hour.
“Yes. I’m sure.” I was putting on a brave face for him. I knew he was excited and nervous about the new job, but I also knew that he was really worried about moving away from me. I was worried too, but I didn’t want him second-guessing himself.
He made a face as he fidgeted around nervously. “I can call and tell them I’m not coming.”
I grabbed him by the shoulders to still him, then I slid my hands up to his neck. “Honey, it’s going to be fine. I promise. You’re going to love it there. And I’m coming after work on Saturday to visit and help you set up the apartment.”
He took a shaky breath and nodded. “I know… I just…”
I yanked him down to rest his forehead against mine. “I know, me too. But we’re going to figure it out, okay?”
He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer to him so our chests were pressed together. He held me tight and I hugged him back. We stayed that way for a long time. He kept whispering, “I love you so much. I’m going to miss you.”
And each time, I’d whisper back, “I love you. I’m going to miss you too.”
We must’ve lost track of time because there was a sudden knock at my door. Aaron held my hand and followed me the few feet to the door. He’d been attached to my hip all weekend. Not that I minded. I opened it and let Layla and Griffin inside. They’d insisted on being there when Aaron drove away, knowing that I was going to need their support when I fell apart.
It was only twenty minutes later when Aaron and I were hugging again, this time beside his car. He’d already said his goodbyes to Griff and Layla, and now we were both avoiding letting go of one another.
I felt Aaron’s hot tears on my shoulder, soaking my shirt and making it a million times harder to hold myself together. But I wasn’t going to fall apart. Not until he left. Still, a tear or two escaped despite my best efforts. I wiped them away before he had a chance to see them, though.
“Aar… you need to get going,” I whispered without loosening my hold of him.
He nodded against me. “I know.”
“Less than a week,” I reminded him.
He nodded again. “I know… but Saturday feels like it’s an eternity away.”
“You’re going to be so busy that you won’t even notice.”
He huffed. “Yeah, right. God, it’s going to suck not seeing you every day.”
“Yeah, it is… but we can Skype every night after work.”
“Promise?”
“Sure.” I kissed his neck, then pulled back to look into his eyes. “I love you more than anything in the world. You’ve made me the happiest man alive, Aar. I’m so fucking grateful to have you back in my life.”
He gave me a watery smile. “Me too, Finn. I love you so much.”
He leaned down to kiss me slowly, making my heart flutter and tears want to escape. We lost track of time again as everything Aaron overwhelmed me, but eventually we broke apart. I held back the emotions as he got inside his car. And I held back more when he rolled down his window and gave me one more goodbye kiss.
As soon as I moved away from his car, Layla put her arm around my waist and Griffin squeezed my shoulder. They stood with me as he backed out of the parking spot.
Standing there watching him drive away was one of the hardest things I’d ever had to do. I knew it wasn’t the same as before. I knew that I’d see him again in a matter of days, and that we’d talk to each other on the phone all the time.
But the truth was that I had already gotten used to seeing him every day, and sleeping in the same bed with him every night. I didn’t know how I was going to make it until Saturday. I really didn’t. But I hadn’t let Aaron know that or he never would’ve left.
As soon as he was out of sight, I let the tears I’d been holding back for days come rushing out. I started sobbing hysterically, and when Layla hugged me, I sobbed even harder.
Before I had a chance to get too far into my cry-fest, my phone started ringing. I pulled it out, surprised to see my boyfriend’s name on the screen. “Hello?” I answered.
“Hey.” Aaron’s whispered voice came out hoarse, like he’d been crying too.
I felt some fresh tears escape my eyes. Knowing he was crying only made me sadder.
We were both silent for a solid minute as I walked away from my friends.
But then he whispered, “I miss you already.”
I let out a watery laugh. “You’ve only been gone for five minutes… but I miss you too.”
Another minute passed before he said, “It isn’t the same this time. We’re only a few hours apart and we’re staying together.”
“Yeah… I know.”
“I can turn around right now.”
I sighed. “I know… but you need to do this.”
“I’m not… I’m not going to let my career get between us. If I had to choose, I’d choose you. I can practice medicine anywhere, anyway.”
I smiled at that and leaned against the trunk of my car. “I know… but I want you to be happy.”
“I am happy, Finn. I’m so incredibly happy when I’m with you.”
He sounded so sad and lonely already that I knew I needed to push him. “I’m happy with you, too. But we’re going to figure this out, okay? We’re going to be okay.”
He sighed. “Yeah… we are.”
We chatted for a little while about random shit, then we hung up, with him promising to call me once he got to his new apartment. I stayed outside, staring at the road Aaron had driven away on. God, this was gonna suck. But we were gonna make it work.
Eventually I went back inside my apartment and found Griff and Layla cooking an elaborate dinner for us. I must’ve still looked pretty upset, though, because Griffin came over and gave me a hug before shoving a beer at me. I appreciated the gesture more than I’d ever let him know. I was beyond lucky to have such amazing friends.
An hour later, we were lounging around in the living room, and I was well on my way to being drunk. Aaron hadn’t arrived at his new apartment yet, but he should be getting there in a few more hours.
There was a knock on my door, so I hobbled to it and yanked the door open, then blinked in surprise and stammered, “Uh… hey.”
“Hey.”
I didn’t know what the hell to say, and I guess because I was drunk I just said what I was thinking. “What are you doing here?” I cringed a little at how that sounded.
Luckily Tad just shrugged, though he looked uncomfortable. “I was just… I know Aaron left today and I was worried about you. I know…” He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I know that we haven’t really talked outside of work lately… but you’re my friend… I was worried about you. I brought some movies and ice cream.” He held up the plastic bag in his hands.
For some reason his stammering made me so emotional and so thankful that I couldn’t say anything. Instead, I just flung my arms around his neck and pulled him in for a tight hug. Tad froze in shock for a moment before hugging me back, and when I pulled away, I said, “Come in. We’re just hanging out.”
“Oh.” He didn’t move inside. “I should’ve realized you’d have people here. I don’t want to interrupt.”
I grabbed his free hand and yanked him inside. “Dude, it’s just Layla and Griff. Come in and hang out with us.”
“You sure?”
I pulled him farther into the apartment and shut the door. “Absolutely.” He nodded and turned to walk into the living room, but I whispered, “Thank you for thinking of me.”
He sent me a little smile and a shrug. “I know how it feels to be the one left behind.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but he turned and headed into the living room where I could hear my best friends greeting him. The three of them stayed with me, drinking beer and trying to cheer me up until Aaron called me. While I talked to him, my friends gave me hugs and called an Uber to take them home. I stayed on the phone with Aaron until after one in the morning. I would’ve stayed on longer, but he had to be at his new job in the morning, so he needed to get some sleep.
Unfortunately, I’d become so accustomed to having him in bed with me that I couldn’t sleep. All I did all night long was hug his pillow to my chest and cry uninhibitedly since no one was around to hear me.