Chapter 11
“Do you think he’ll make it?” Shelly asked the following Saturday when Lauren glanced to the back sanctuary doors for the fifth time. “Danny told me the producers called an emergency meeting this morning.”
Lauren ran her hands down her burgundy dress. “They were starting early. Lucas knew what was going on. Tyler said he should be done by nine thirty.” She checked the time on her phone. 9:57. Three minutes to go. “Oh, Shel, I feel sick.”
“You look great. You have your notes.” Shelly motioned to her notebook on her lap. “You’re totally ready.”
“I know, but I feel so sick.” Lauren surveyed the rows filled with people, most of whom she didn’t know. “There are a lot of people here.”
“Only a couple—” Shelly looked behind her at the almost full sanctuary, “hundred. Several hundred. Close to a thousand.” She rubbed Lauren’s arm. “C’mon. You’ve been on national TV. Heck, you were on stage in front of hundreds of thousands of people while Adam sang to you.”
“It’s different when there’s only a camera or when Adam was singing. I wasn’t sharing my deepest secret.”
“Actually, it’s not a secret anymore. You revealed it months ago at the press conference. And you talk about it on social media to hundreds of thousands of people. You got this.” Shelly took Lauren’s hands in hers. “Let me pray for you.”
Lauren bowed her head.
“God, I lift up Lauren. Thank You for the testimony You have given her and for the people who have come to hear it. Touch every heart and life here today and bring healing to those struggling. Give her peace and, most importantly, the words to speak. May they be Your Words. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
“Amen.” Lauren squeezed her friend’s hands. “Thank you.”
“Take a deep breath, girl, and trust in Him. He’s brought you this far. He’ll take you the rest of the way.”
Tyler’s leg shook more vigorously with each passing moment. The meeting that started at seven a.m. and was supposed to be no more than an hour was going on two. He glanced at Danny who checked the time on his phone with a frown.
God, I need to be there for her. I want to be there—
“I don’t understand what the problem is,” Monty growled. “So the kid needs to lose weight. He stops eating for a week and we’ll be fine.”
“Monty, we can’t do that.” Lucas shook his head. “We need to hire a nutritionist—”
“Nutritionist?” Monty rolled his eyes. “You’re bent on making this film go way over budget, aren’t you?”
“Cut my pay.”
All eyes focused on Tyler.
“I’m tired of the fight.” Tyler ran his hands through his hair. “I don’t need my actor’s salary. Take it.” He glanced at Monty. “Would that make you happy?”
“It’s a start.” Leaning back in his chair, Monty folded his hands over his protruding stomach.
Shaking his head, Tyler stood. “I gotta go.”
“We’re not done here, Stevens. Sit down,” Monty ordered.
Sighing, he faced the executive producer. “Monty, I totally respect you as a producer. You know films. You have a pulse for what the audience wants. You have an eye for talent and good writing.” He chuckled at the proud look on Monty’s face. “But you’re so tight-fisted when it comes to money it’s ridiculous.”
Monty’s eyes narrowed. “Someone needs to be.”
“No.” Tyler shook his head. “We said from the beginning we would allow God to be in control of this picture. We dedicated it to Him. I trust Him to provide completely, so honestly, we don’t need anymore of your money.” He glanced at Lucas. “Seriously, take my salary off the books. I don’t care.”
Adrenaline racing, Tyler hurried from the room while Monty cursed his name.
The tension melted from her shoulders and neck during worship. She felt God’s presence, His Spirit, rushing over her. Yet the moment she walked on stage and saw hundreds of people staring at her, she suddenly felt like she was going to throw up.
Oh, God, calm my nerves.
“Hi, my name is Lauren. I’m the mother of a ten-week-old, who’s still not sleeping through the night, so really, it’s a miracle that I showed up on time and showered this morning.”
Chuckles filled the auditorium.
Lauren ran her hand across her notes, heart racing. Give me the words, Lord, the words You want me to speak. “Without a doubt, this has been the hardest and most blessed year of my life. Hardest because my husband, Adam, passed away from cancer. Hardest because I was in the hospital for several months in tremendous pain from preeclampsia before my son was born. And it was my hardest year ever because after years of struggling with depression I hit my rock bottom six months ago. I honestly don’t know that I would have made it through—”
The back door of the sanctuary opened. Tyler slipped into the back row with a nod. Her lungs finally filled with air, her shoulders relaxed.
“—without the help of my amazing friends, Pastor Max, and Joyce.” Lauren scanned the audience. “Yes, it’s been a hard year, but the blessings that came from it have been abundant. Peace that surpasses all understanding, a beautiful, healthy baby boy, thousands coming to Christ through Adam’s last concerts and memorial, and complete healing. Healing not only from the preeclampsia, but also from the depression that plagued me for decades. God’s Word has transformed my mind and helped me see there is complete healing in Christ.” She glanced at Shelly, whose smile encouraged her. “Today I want to share my testimony of healing with you. I want to show you there is hope and healing in Christ. God does not want you to live in defeat. He wants you to fight against depression so you can have complete victory in Christ.”
Each point, all the scriptures, even humor seemed to flow effortlessly. She glowed with the radiance of the Lord. Tyler marveled at her confidence and teared up at her honesty. He shuddered when she spoke of the darkness, the despair, remembering that night he returned from Africa. He quoted scripture and she screamed against it, fighting him and God. But he refused to let her go. He refused to stop, until she finally collapsed in his arms.
“It feels like I’m dying inside,” she had whispered. “You can’t save me.”
“I know,” Tyler had told her. “But God can. You need to trust in Him. I only want to be here to hold you. You don’t have to do this alone.”
Scanning the room as she spoke, she frequently returned to him, always with a smile. The closing prayer for healing of all who suffered was so Spirit-filled he slipped to his knees during it, interceding for all those who struggled and praising God for all He had done in her.
“She sent me back to make sure you don’t leave.” Shelly made her way to Tyler about ten minutes after it ended while Lauren spoke to and prayed with others.
Tyler grinned. “Tell her I’m not going anywhere. Except to lunch with her to celebrate. Will you join us?”
“Absolutely.” Shelly glanced at Lauren. “Pretty remarkable, huh?”
“Yeah, she is.”
Shelly smiled at him. “Glad you made it. Danny texted me that they are still at it.”
Leaning back in the chair, Tyler placed his hands behind his head. “I finally got up and walked out. I needed to be here.”
“She was freaking out until I prayed for her.”
“I needed to be here for me as much as for her.” He smiled to hear her laughing with a woman. “To be certain of her healing, her resolve.”
Shelly watched Lauren for a few minutes before looking back to Tyler, tears forming in her eyes. “Thank you for all you did for her when you got back. I knew it was bad. She told me you saved her.”
“God saved her. I was just there to hold her until it passed.”
“Well, thank you.” She brushed the tears away.
“Thanks for being there for her when I left. Even though you didn’t know how she struggled, you were there supporting her. She knew she could count on you.” Tyler stood. “So, you think it’s a Mexican or Italian food kind of day?”
“Hmm.” Shelly pulled her cell phone from her pocket. “I’m thinking her favorite Italian restaurant. They used to always go there to celebrate. I’ll call to make sure we can get in.”
They sat in a booth at her favorite Italian restaurant. Lauren was content listening to Tyler tell stories of filming and Shelly shared the high points of her work week. She felt aglow inside. Peace mixed with excitement. She remembered going out with Adam after concerts, seeing the joy in his eyes and hearing it in his voice. Now she understood. She was feeling that “Holy Spirit High” firsthand. She had been uncertain of everything until she prayed it would be His words flowing from her lips. That was exactly what happened. Never had she been used by God in such a powerful way, and yet something inside told her it was only beginning. Celebrating with her two favorite people was a great way to unwind, yet she couldn’t help but feel something missing.
If only Adam were here...
“You did a phenomenal job,” Tyler said when the waitress brought their meals.
Lauren shook her head. “It was all the Lord.”
“I know. That’s what made it amazing.” He offered his hand to Lauren and she took Shelly’s. They bowed their heads before Tyler began to pray. “Lord, we thank You for Your goodness. Thank You for all You’ve brought Lauren through and for the testimony You have given her. We pray for all who attended today, that they would be forever changed by Your Word and the truth Lauren shared. Direct Lauren’s path. Take her where You want her to go. Help her to spread the good news of Your healing and love. Bless this food to our bodies. In Jesus’ name, amen.”
“Amen,” the girls echoed.
Tyler began twirling his fettuccine. “I kept thinking it’s too bad Adam wasn’t there.”
Both girls froze.
His eyes met Lauren’s. “C’mon. You know that’s what was missing.”
Lauren lowered her head, cutting her ravioli. It made her heart glad that Tyler mentioned him, but tears began to rise.
“He’d be proud.”
Lauren slowly lifted her eyes to find joy in his.
“He’d be very proud,” Tyler’s voice softened. “I can picture him, beaming, as he always did when you spoke to individuals or a crowd. He was always proud of you.”
Lauren could see his face in her mind, the grin he reserved for her alone. She swallowed back her tears. “A part of me wonders.”
“Wonders what?” Shelly asked.
“If he was here, if I’d be healed. I depended on him to help me stand. It wasn’t until he was gone that I was forced to stand with the Lord.”
Silence fell over them for several minutes before Tyler spoke. “His ways are higher, right?”
“And His thoughts are higher than ours.” Shelly turned to Lauren. “Is that how the verse goes?”
Nodding, Lauren took her first bite. After swallowing, she looked up. “I had all these dreams, hopes for my future, but they all involved Adam. I think that’s one of the reasons I was so crushed when he died. Today God showed me it’s best to submit to His dreams. I never imagined He’d take my pain and turn it into something beautiful.” She dabbed her eyes with her napkin. “Definitely higher.”
“Amen,” Tyler whispered, dropping his gaze.