Chapter 2
Twenty hours Tyler sat beside her, holding her hand, only leaving twice to use the restroom. He read the Bible aloud, reminded her of happier times, described David in detail whenever she asked. When hunger struck, he prayed for her healing, peace, and David’s health. Tyler dozed off twice when she did for close to an hour until more magnesium was added to her IV. Then the pain cycle repeated itself.
The helplessness Tyler felt was like the night almost five months ago when he returned from Africa to find her in the depths of depression. The difference now was she screamed from pain, not mental torment. She clung to hope instead of teetering on the edge of despair. She wasn’t desperate or defeated, but standing on God’s Word. Though exhausted, Lauren fought with all she had within her.
“I’m proud of you,” he said when the nurse announced she only had an hour of treatment remaining.
“I’m a mess.” Lauren rubbed her blanket frantically over her face. She had begun itching a while ago. Side effects of the pain medicine, the nurse told her. “Nothing to be proud of.”
“You’re fighting, standing.” Tyler squeezed her hand. “I know it’s been a long, hard road, but we’re almost at the end of it and you’re still standing strong.”
“You were right five months ago.” Lauren shifted in the bed. “We aren’t supposed to go through hard times alone. I’m thankful for you, Shelly, and Dad. For Beth, Cheryl, and Ruth.” She moved their hands to rest against her temple. “For Danny and all the other people who have been praying for me. For Pastor and Joyce. For my nurses and Dr. Burns.” He felt her tears on the back of his hand. “For David’s nurses and doctors. God has been gracious to bring all the people we needed at the right time.”
“Amen,” Tyler whispered.
“We won.”
Tyler smiled. “Yes, we did.”
Sitting in the wheelchair proved a chore after twenty-four hours in the dark room of torture, as Tyler called it, but Lauren was determined to see her baby. Anticipation built with every corner they turned. She leaned her pounding head on her hand.
“You okay?” Tyler massaged her shoulder.
“My head hurts. I’m exhausted, but I want to see him.” God, I need to see him.
The door to the NICU opened after the orderly typed in a code. The gust of cold air caused her to shiver. She pulled her blanket over her arms.
“He’s to the right,” Tyler told the orderly pushing Lauren. “Last row.”
Her heart raced with each incubator they passed. One tiny baby seemed lost among all the tubes. Another lay under a bright light with patches over his eyes.
“Here he is,” Tyler pointed as they came upon the last row. “Hey there, buddy. Mommy’s here to see you.”
The orderly stopped beside the incubator. Lauren studied his tiny face. A tube in his mouth and one up his nose didn’t change the fact that he was the most beautiful baby she had ever seen. A tiny white, blue, and pink newborn hospital cap covered his head. His hands were in fists above his head.
“Hi, David. It’s so good to see you.”
His arms jerked down at the sound of her voice. David slowly raised them again, only to push them down forcefully. Lauren laughed.
“What?” Tyler asked.
“That’s what he did inside me, all the time. I knew it wasn’t a kick, but I had no idea what it was.” She shifted her focus to his tiny fingers. “They are like Adam’s.”
“Check out his hair.” Tyler put on gloves and reached through the incubator. He slowly lifted the cap from David’s head. Lauren smiled at the patch of brown fuzz.
Tyler pulled his hand out and went to work putting gloves on Lauren. “They said we should be able to hold him soon, but you can reach in and touch him, hold his hand.”
Lauren reached her right hand in a side hole, gently stroking his fingers. “You look like Daddy. He would be proud.” Her eyes wandered from his face to the heart monitors on his tiny chest and the blood pressure cuff on his foot. She didn’t want to cry, but suddenly she was thinking of Adam, lying in the hospital bed with his morphine drip.
“There’s Mom. Glad you could join us.” A blonde female nurse approached them. “Your little guy is doing good. Stable and peaceful. We started him on a drip of your milk, so we’ll need you to keep pumping. Did you want to hold him? I could probably let you for a minute.”
Pulling her hand from the incubator, Lauren wiped her tears. “No, that’s okay. He’s so peaceful. I think I’m overtired.”
“She just finished her magnesium treatment.” Tyler helped Lauren remove the glove. “It was pretty horrific.”
“Then you need rest.” She smiled at Lauren. “You’ll be more comfortable if you pump before going to sleep. Give the milk to the nurse and she’ll send it over. We’ll see you soon.”
We’re leaving NICU, Tyler texted Danny as they headed to her room. She’s a wreck. Please pray.
Lauren shaded her eyes with her right hand. Tyler didn’t know if her head hurt, if the lights were too bright, or if she was hiding tears until she spoke.
“I’m sorry I’m a mess.” She brushed tears away with her left hand. “I know I need to keep it together to take care of him, but all those tubes and wires reminded me of Adam when he was dying.”
“You have the rest of your life to take care of him.” Tyler slipped his phone in his pocket. “Take care of you the next twenty-four hours. If God is gracious and what the doctor says is true, you’ll start feeling normal again in the next day or two. Then you’ll only have to recover from the c-section.”
No sooner had he helped Lauren into bed than Nurse Cindy appeared with two bottles that had suction cups at the end attached to a large device. “The nurse from NICU called. Said you were headed to bed, so you should pump first.”
“I can’t.” Lauren’s lip quivered. “It hurts too much.”
“It’s for David.” Tyler rubbed her arm. “You can do it.”
Her protruding lip and sorrow-filled eyes broke his heart.
“Will you stay? Read to me?”
Tyler’s eyes widened. “While you pump? I don’t think that’s right—”
“Sit.” Cindy pointed to the chair on the opposite side of the bed. “I’ll close the curtain. You can hold her hand around the curtain. Then she can squeeze the heck out of it. You won’t see a thing, I promise.”
Tyler followed the nurse’s orders and started reading in Philippians. Lauren sniffled and squeezed his hand tighter than she ever had. The nurse opened the curtain when he reached Philippians 4.
“Can you stay until I fall asleep?” Her red eyes and blotchy face showed how she’d suffered.
“Of course.”
Lauren continued to grip his hand as he read. Pain pulsated through her entire body, but she joined in during verse 6.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
“I had my baby.” She wiped her tears on her blanket, thankful for the warmth and softness of it.
“You did.” Tyler brushed her hair from her face.
“He’s going to be okay.” Lauren’s eyelids grew heavy.
“And so will you.” Tyler kissed her forehead.
He pulled her fuzzy blanket to her chin and gently tucked it in around her. “I’m thankful for you, David, and that tomorrow will be a new day, hopefully with less pain.”
“Amen.”
The muscles in her face relaxed as he gently massaged her head. Within minutes her breathing steadied.
Please, God, take away her pain.
Tyler’s phone vibrated. One message from Danny.
Praying. Have you slept? I can come get you. Probably shouldn’t drive if you’re as exhausted as I think you are.
Half of Tyler’s mouth turned up in a smile. God had definitely blessed him when he brought Danny into his life six years ago. That would be great. How about an hour? She’s finally falling asleep and I was going to head down to see David for a little while.
Sure, the reply came. California burrito or carne asada?
Carne asada, thanks. Slipping his phone into his pocket, Tyler gazed at Lauren. Lord, thank You that she’s finally at peace, for Danny, and burritos.
Danny was reading on his phone in the NICU waiting room when Tyler exited from seeing David.
“Thanks for coming,” Tyler said.
“No prob. That’s what friends are for.” Danny handed him a paper bag with grease stains on the sides and stuck out his hand. “Keys? I figure we should take yours and leave mine here.”
Tyler chuckled, pulling his fob from his pocket. “You just want to drive my car.”
“That too.” Danny smiled. “The Porsche, huh?”
Tyler laughed. “I know it’s your favorite.”
“I do need a new car. And you really don’t need three sports cars…”
“True, but it’s my only silver car.” Grabbing the burrito from the bag, he started unwrapping it as they walked to the elevators. “Sometimes you’re in the mood for a silver Porsche, sometimes a black Corvette, and occasionally a red Ferrari. If you have an extra 70K laying around, I might make you a deal.”
Danny shook his head. “Like that will ever happen. How’s David?”
“Stable. They started him on a drip of her milk and that seems to be going okay.”
“And how’s Lauren?”
“Finally asleep. It was truly horrific.” He took a bite.
“I’m sorry, bro.” Danny pushed “Lobby” when they got in the elevator. “We prayed for several hours in the waiting room and then in the cafeteria. Every time the girls came back, they were crying so I knew it was bad.”
“She said it was like fire coursing through her veins,” Tyler said between bites. “The prayers helped. She did find peace in the midst of it. I read to her, played Adam’s music. She even seemed to be worshiping at some points. She’s truly the strongest person I know.”
Once the elevator opened, they walked quickly through the lobby and parking structure to Tyler’s car, which was parked in a physician parking spot.
“Really?” Danny laughed, unlocking the doors.
“Her doctor suggested it. Said it would blend in.” They both glanced at the expensive sports cars surrounding his. “He was right.”
Tyler tried to sleep in the car, but scenes from the delivery room of almost losing her flashed through his mind. His heart pounded thinking of her calling Adam’s name, her blood pressure soaring, his prayer.
God, please, no. Take my career, take everything I own, but please, please don’t take her.
Shuddering at the thought, Tyler flicked on the radio to distract himself.
“You okay?” Danny asked.
“I thought she was going to die.” Admitting his thoughts brought back the fear.
“In delivery?”
“Yeah.” Tyler leaned back in his seat and rubbed his head.
“You looked awful when you came out. I figured something was up. What happened?”
“Her blood pressure spiked. It was out of control. She closed her eyes and stopped responding. The next thing I knew she was saying Adam’s name.” He shook his head as a lump formed in his throat. “I’ve never been so scared. I pleaded with God, told Him to take anything, everything, but not her.” He looked at Danny. “All these months I’ve been preparing myself to just be her friend. I think I’m even to the point that if she started dating someone, I’d be okay with it. All I really want is to see her happy again. But at the thought of losing her, of God taking her like He did Adam, I was not okay with that.”
“Because it wasn’t His will.” Danny shifted gears as they pulled onto the freeway. “It wasn’t His will for her to die. She’s going to be okay. Her blood pressure is going down, isn’t it?”
Tyler nodded. “Not back to normal, but decreasing.”
“I bet everything will improve in the next few days.” Once in the fast lane, Danny settled into his seat. “God’s refining her faith through this, growing her to be an awesome witness. All these years I think she felt like Adam was the one God was using, but it was both of them. The response on social media to her posts is mind boggling. I mean, when she first announced her pregnancy, it was nasty with assumptions that David was yours. Not only did she put them in their place with her press conference, she showed she was human. She revealed her vulnerability. I read the comments on her posts. Women are inspired by her.” Danny glanced at Tyler. “That video you made in the hospital, of her reading her board? Over a million views.”
“You’re kidding?”
Danny shook his head. “No. In fact, Christians are posting their own “Dear Satan” boards, fighting cancer, fighting for their marriage, fighting their own depression. God’s been preparing her for this.” The corners of Danny’s mouth turned up in a grin. “I’m thinking I need to write a movie about her testimony.”
Tyler chuckled. “You know she wouldn’t go for that.”
“I know, but it is a great story. And knowing the Lord, it’s far from over. He has many more to touch through her.”
Tyler collapsed on his bed a half hour later, Danny’s words still rolling around in his mind. For months it had been about surviving, finding peace in the midst of the storm. Yet God had bigger plans for her pain and grief. Plans to reach hundreds of thousands. Plans to break strongholds and for Christians to find victory. Plans for some, like Sydney, to come to Christ.
Opening his Bible on his phone, he set it to play Philippians chapter 4. The final words he heard before drifting off to sleep were in verses 8-9.
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”
It was Lauren’s face he visualized, her laughter, and the determination in her voice as she quoted the scripture that he imagined.
“Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.”
The anxiety, stress, and fear of the past thirty-six hours melted away. Thank You, God, for Your perfect plan. Thank You for Your love. Thank You for Lauren and David.