Chapter 7

Raider

 

For a minute, I was sure the world had stood still. Nothing and no one else existed but me and Quinn. I had never experienced anything like what I had just had with this female. Pussy had been handed to me on a silver platter practically from the time I was fourteen years old. Not one of those chicks had made me feel even a tenth of what I had just felt with her.

As my body started to cool and reality began to come back to me, regret started to choke me. I had lost control for the first time in my life.

The feel of her tight little body yielding to me, giving me everything I had secretly wanted from the first time I had noticed Quinn as a grown woman and not just the little girl who would play with Flick and Raven and chase after my brother like he was the most important person in the world to her. It had been too good, and I had gone under without thinking about anything but myself.

Ashamed of how I had just taken her without any regard to the precious gift she had so willingly given me, I slowly lifted my head, an apology already on my lips.

“Sweetheart …”

The words got trapped in my throat when I saw the tears rolling down her cheeks. Her face was pale, her eyes almost lifeless as she just laid there under me.

I pulled back a little, taking my weight off her. Her grimace of pain pulled at something in my chest and my shame only mounted.

“Quinn, I’m sorry.” I straightened up, being as careful as I could as I pulled out of her.

Her teeth bit into her full bottom lip as I finally eased completely out. My attention was quickly caught by the smear of blood that was on my still hard cock. Shit.

Looking down at her, I saw that that smear wasn’t the only sign of what I had just taken from her. The blanket she was lying on top of had a large spot, and there was blood mixed with my come on her thighs.

Bile lifted into my throat, and not at the sight of the blood—fuck, I had seen plenty of bloodshed in my lifetime. No, it was because I had done that to her. Sweet, perfect little Quinn who deserved the world, and I had just robbed her of her picture-perfect first time.

If I’d had my gun, I would have put a bullet in my head then and there. It was the least I deserved for what I had done to her.

I reached out to wipe the tears off her beautiful face, but she turned her head away from me, her tears falling faster.

“Quinn, I don’t … I’m …” My mouth snapped shut when I was unable to put more than a few words together. I was at a loss. I couldn’t find the words to tell her how sorry I was. I wanted to gather her in my arms, hold her until the tears stopped, and she finally smiled at me like she had so many times in the past.

That smile that was just as bright as the sunshine she smelled like.

There was no sign of that smile now, and I was scared I would never see that precious sight ever again.

She shifted, drawing my eyes to the rest of her body.

Fuck. I hadn’t taken the time to truly see every part of her, but hell, she was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen naked before in my life. Every inch of her was perfect. There wasn’t anything about her I would change, except for the tears that wouldn’t stop.

Tears that I had caused.

I knew good and well that I was the cause of many of her tears in the past. I had hurt her on purpose over the years, wanting to protect her from wanting a fuck up like me.

She deserved so much better than what I could offer her. Therefore, I had let her see what the real me was like. The girls I fucked, the hardcore parties I liked—all of it.

Yet, she had still cared about me.

These tears, though, I would have gladly given my own life to erase them. I hadn’t meant to make her cry. I hated myself for hurting her so badly that she was still bleeding on my comforter underneath her pretty pussy.

It had felt like an eternity that I had held myself back from what I had ached for—her. And then I had been given it on a silver fucking platter, and I had gotten in over my head before it had even really begun. Me. The guy who had never lost control with a female, the guy who had made it an art form to see just how long I could go without nutting off.

The feel of her tight pussy clamped around me, the heat and wetness of her, the smell of her skin, and the way she had moaned my name …

It was a little embarrassing how fast she had made me come, but it had been exhilarating in a way I had never experienced before. The way she had clung to me, even when I must have been ripping her apart, it had been so loving. While she must have been sobbing in pain, she had still held me close and let me have the pleasure.

A pleasure that had consumed me completely.

Just thinking about it had my dick aching for her all over again. I ignored the tightness in my balls and lifted her into my arms. Quinn shied away from me, turning her head as far away as she possibly could, trying to hide her continued tears from me.

I kissed the side of her head, inhaling that intoxicating scent of honeysuckles and sunshine. Then I carried her into the bathroom, and after securing her with one hand, I reached into the shower to turn it on before setting her on her feet. As she straightened, I cupped her elbows, keeping her close when she would have moved away.

Her head was bent, her eyes focused on the tile of the bathroom floor. I gripped her chin gently between my thumb and index finger, forcing her to meet my gaze.

The tears had started to slow down, but they still had the power to punch me in the gut with each one that fell down her beautiful face.

“I’m going to let you get cleaned up, sweetheart. I’ll leave your clothes in the bedroom. Take your time.” Confusion filled her baby blues, but she remained silent. “I’m going to go. You don’t have to worry about me bothering you.”

She slowly nodded and pulled back, wrapping her arms around herself as if she were cold, even as the room filled with steam from the shower.

I wanted to say more. Fuck, what I really wanted to do was fall to my knees and beg her to forgive me for hurting her. Instead, I pressed a kiss to the middle of her forehead and walked away, closing the door behind me.

Back in my bedroom, I cleaned myself up and threw on the clothes I had been wearing earlier, trying to avoid looking at the bed and the evidence of what had taken place. But the blood on the comforter kept drawing my gaze, and even though I would have given anything to have taken away the pain I had just caused Quinn, I felt kind of smug.

A lot smug, actually.

I’d had Quinn. I had been her first. No matter how many men came after me—

I stopped that thought dead cold. I didn’t want to imagine her with any other guy. Shit, just imagining her with some faceless prick made me homicidal.

Pulling my cut on, I grabbed the keys to my bike. Locking the door behind me so no one could walk in on her, I took the back way out to the parking lot. Right then, I couldn’t have looked my brother in the face without giving away the fact that I had defiled his best friend. Motherfucking hell, I didn’t think I could ever look myself in the eye again without regretting what I had just done.

As I got on my hog and started it up, I realized something that terrified the fuck out of me.

I wanted to do it again. Not hurt her, for fuck’s sake, but I wanted to have her again. Over and over again. I wanted to go back in there, kiss every inch of her body, and make her feel everything she had so easily made me feel. I wanted to love her until neither one of us could breathe, and then I wanted to start all over again. I wanted to show her how good sex could feel and get lost in the nirvana of her body.

I had just left her, but I craved more.