Chapter 31 – Now

 

I just got done hauling the last of the food from my car to a clubhouse where my client is throwing a surprise party.  It’s my second delivery today.  My busy schedule is about to slow down to a point of normalcy.  Not that all the extra money hasn’t been nice, but if I decide to keep up this crazy schedule, I need to hire someone full time and I’m not sure I want to be an employer.  Charlotte’s taken over my advertising like a pro, but she used to be in sales before she quit to stay home with her kids.  I’m paying her a percentage of her sales, she does her own thing and I stay out of her hair because she does it way better than me. 

Not that I don’t want to set my goals higher, but I’m happy with things the way they are.  Plus, Cam wants family time and that sounds great to me.  Especially since I’m not locked up in his house anymore because Brian is behind bars.

Brian.  My poor friend.

He’s been in jail for three days.  The last Jude told us, he’s undergoing medical evaluations.  I know what he did and I sort of know what he planned because Cam gave me an overview, even though I didn’t get to read his short story collection.  If Cam has anything to do with it, I never will.  He said, and I quote, “That shit is so sick, baby, I don’t want it in your head.  You just have to know, it’s beyond bad.”

The whole thing is disturbing, however I can’t help but remember how Brian used to be, the sweet friend with whom I have years of memories.  I don’t know how to feel.  My family and Cam are furious over the whole thing and even though I’m freaked and anxious, I can’t help but feel a deep sadness for him.  I have no idea what’s going to happen to him legally, but I hope he gets the medical attention he needs.  He has a disease and it’s changed the person he used to be.

It’s Saturday and I have no events scheduled for the next three days.  Not that I don’t have work to do for the blog and website to catch up on, I have tons.  But tomorrow I’m looking forward to the family time Cam has demanded. 

My phone rings over the speakers of my car, telling me it’s my mom.  She’s kicked in a lot in the past couple weeks, helping me shop and keep up.  I’m grateful for all the help, even if I’m still exhausted.

“Hey,” I say into the speaker as I start my way back to Athica Lane.

“Are you done for the day?” she asks.

“Yeah, I just dropped off at my last event.  I’m headed back to Cam’s.”

“I see,” she starts.  I can tell her voice is strained when she continues, “Your father and I want to have you, Cam and the kids over for dinner tomorrow evening.  Since you’ve decided you’re moving in with him…well…prematurely, we don’t want to hesitate getting to know him better.  Yes, we’ve known him for a couple of years, but only as Sophia’s neighbor.  I know things have been on shaky ground between the two of you – ”

“We aren’t on shaky ground,” I interrupt, setting her straight and when I do, I can’t help the defensive tone in my voice.

“Fine,” she huffs into the phone before continuing.  “It’s ‘smooth sailing.’  Is that better?”

“Can you get to the point?” I bite out.

“You must be about to start your cycle.  You’re irritable,” she announces.

Wait, what?

Of course she doesn’t wait for me to respond, “We want to get to know him better, you know, as your boyfriend, if that’s what he is to you.”

Oh shit.

“We’re hoping he’s more than merely a boyfriend since you’ve given notice at your apartment and moved into his home.  With his children.  I hope you’re taking that seriously,” she goes on.

Fourteen, twenty-one, twenty-eight…

“When children are involved, you can’t afford to be selfish.  They need consistency.  Not this on-again, off-again, on-again thing you and Cam have done.”

Thirty-five, forty-one…I think.

“Are you listening to me?” she demands.

“Mm-hmm,” I hum frowning into my windshield, double checking the numbers in my head.

“I know you’re great with kids and they seem to have taken to you.  But with their mother being the way she is and now out of their lives permanently—at least for the next couple of years—it’s all the more reason you and Cam need to think of them above all else.  Give them the stability they deserve.  At their ages, their upcoming years are incredibly influential as to how they will form values and – ”

“Mom!” I yell, shutting her up.  I feel my stomach drop as I take a quick turn, pulling into a parking lot and ask, “Why did you call?  Other than to lecture me.”

“Well,” she breathes.  “We want to get to know him better.  We want you all to come for dinner tomorrow night.”

I grab my purse and prepare to climb out of the car.  I say whatever is necessary to get her off the phone, “Sure, whatever.  We’ll be there.  I’ve gotta go.”

I hear her sigh again, “Good.  Six o’clock, we’ll eat at six thirty.  I hope your disposition improves before then, eat a banana.”

You’ve got to be shitting me.  If my math hasn’t failed, a banana is not going to help. 

“And don’t forget the water.  You’re probably dehydra – ”

“Bye,” I interrupt and disconnect the call before she can boss me more.

I hurry in to run my errand.  How I lost track of time, I have no idea.

*****

“Can we order pizza?” Jordy asks.

“Ooh, can we get the pizza cookie thingy, too?” Cara adds.

I pull into the garage next to Paige’s car—she must be back from her deliveries.  She’s off tomorrow and I can’t wait.  I know she’ll do what she wants, but I secretly want her to back off the catering and focus on her blog.  I know it’s selfish, I can’t help it.  Now that she’s mine, she doesn’t need both sides of her business.  Maybe she’ll back off on her own.

“We’ll see if Paige has anything planned.  If not, then yeah.”

I took the kids with me to The Shed this afternoon to catch up on some things after practice this morning.  My boys came out with the W again last night, but it was close.  Brett Sullivan has cemented himself into the quarterback position, proving he’s as good and getting better by the week, than Michael Gheer.  Gheer is off my team for good after his stunt last summer, breaking into The Shed.  Word is his parents were shopping private schools so he could play and maybe still get a scholarship, but no one would take him since he was charged as an adult for breaking and entering. 

Stupid fuck.  He’s young enough to get his shit together so he doesn’t completely screw up his life.  I hope he figures that out before it’s too late.

But Sullivan is drawing plenty of attention and we had three college recruiters at the game last night watching him.  I’m using my contacts to do what I can, he’s a good kid and a hard worker.  He has the potential and I want to see him succeed. 

As we climb out of the car, the kids run to Lanny’s yard after eyeing the boys playing.  I go to the house and bellow, “Paige?” when I don’t see her in the kitchen. 

I don’t get an answer, so I move to find her.  When I finally make it to the bedroom, I turn and see her in the bathroom sitting on the floor with her knees bent, her legs pulled into her.  Her eyes dart to mine and her face falls, an unease sweeping over her features.

I tip my head and ask, “Why are you sitting on the floor?”

“I – ” she starts.  “I don’t know.”

“What do you mean, you don’t know?  What’s wrong?”

She closes her eyes and strangely says, “They were right.”

I move in closer and cross my arms frowning, “Who was right?”

She looks up from where she’s sitting, “In middle school.  And I guess high school, too.  Those stupid videos that we made fun of, they said it would only take once.  I mean, I knew scientifically they were right, but they were really right.”

Tired of this, I squat down in front of her, putting my hands to the outsides of her thighs and give her a squeeze, “What in the hell are you talking about?”

She pulls in a breath before saying, “I’m worried.  I know we talked about this, but not this.”

“Baby,” I say firmly.  “Quit talking in circles.”

“Your swimmers?” her voice dips.  “They’re strong, just like you.”

My body turns to stone and I can hardly hear my own voice, “What?”

“And accurate,” she adds.

“Are you…” I go on but can’t finish.

“They must really like me,” her voice drops even lower.

I can’t help but stare at her.

“Cam?” she calls for me on a breath. 

Holy shit.  She’s pregnant?

“Please,” she keeps on, quietly.  “Say something.”

*****

Damn it, he hasn’t said anything and he looks upset.  I know this wasn’t planned, it’s not like I’m not surprised as well.  But he needs to say something. 

I’d know even if I hadn’t taken the test.  I’m never late and I’m going on almost three weeks late.  Not to mention I’m tired and don’t feel like myself.  The test was just a confirmation of what I knew the moment I did the math.  And the test, which says can take up to five minutes confirmed what I knew in record time, giving me a plus sign, big and bright.

He drops his head a fraction and levels his eyes on me, uttering, “You’re pregnant.”

My eyes fill immediately, not able to hold back the tears and whisper, “You’re unhappy.”

“You’re pregnant,” he repeats louder this time, his voice strong and deep.

I feel my tears spill and only nod my head.

“You’re having my baby,” he keeps on.

I keep confirming on another teary nod.

His eyes drag over my face and down my body.  When he looks back to my eyes, he surges to his feet, but I yelp when he tags me under my arms on his way up. 

“Cam!” I barely get my legs around his waist to hang on.

He turns toward the bedroom with a hand on my ass and one on my back, coming down on top of me on the bed.

“Just the other night,” he leans up and before I realize what he’s doing, his fingers are working my jeans, “I came home from seeing some sick shit, only to find you in bed asleep with the kids.  Nothing but that could’ve made me feel better at that moment.  And I thought to myself, I can’t wait to fill the bed with more of them.”

He yanks my jeans down, jerking my body and taking my panties with them.  I only have eyes for him when I ask, “You’re not upset?”

He spreads my legs apart before his hand comes between them, softly brushing against me.  But he doesn’t keep at me, his hand travels up, hitting my clit on the way before he splays his hand on my lower tummy. 

He looks deep into my eyes and says softly, “No.”

Then he leans down and kisses my tummy where our baby is growing. 

And that makes my tears flow with relief. 

He comes up to my face, but his fingers go back between my legs when he says, “Stop crying.”

“You’re happy,” I ignore him and say through my tears.

“Yeah,” he says.  “My baby’s growing in you.  I’m happy.”

I finally smile and put my arms around his neck to pull him close, “I was so afraid you wouldn’t be happy.”

“I don’t ever want you to be afraid,” he whispers as he keeps playing with me.  His goatee grins, “Now, are you ready to celebrate?  We don’t have a lot of time—the kids are outside.”

I nod as he kisses me. 

And in what has become our bed, he makes love to me and we celebrate our baby without anything between us.  After all, he’s already knocked me up. 

*****

“What are they all doing here?” I panic.

“Guys,” Cam turns to the kids in the back of the car where he just pulled up outside my parents’ house.  “Run on in, we’ll be there in a second.  Looks like there might be other kids here to hang out with.”

The kids climb out of the back, but I can’t stop taking in all the cars lining the drive and street.  Over the last twenty-four hours, Cam has calmed my anxieties about events happening out of order.  So much so, it’s been a great day, full of happiness and rainbows and sparkles and unicorns.  Cam even talked me into telling my parents about the baby at dinner tonight, “Sooner rather than later, so we can get on with it.  We need to tell the kids.”

And I listened to him.  I even bought into it being the best idea ever.  How could it not be with all the unicorns magically dancing around me, full of glee?

But now we’re here, and reality has squashed my unicorns dead to the ground, taking the sparkly rainbows with them.  Because everyone is here and no one is supposed to be here but us.  No one!

“You’re freaking out,” Cam notices.

“My sisters are here, Cam.  Along with Tony and Leigh.  And Jude and Gabby.  Seriously, everyone’s here!  What’s wrong with my mother?” my yelling voice bounces around the car.

“Calm down,” he bosses.

“I’m not going in.  Take me home,” I demand.

“Baby, calm down,” he repeats.

“Stop telling me to calm down,” I snap looking away from the street and back to him.  “You’ve seen my family.  There’s going to be a drama, Cam, especially with my mother.  She was upset I moved in with you and now I’m pregnant.  Pregnant!” I yell again, as if he forgot.  But then realization washes over me and it gets worse, “Oh shit.  I told Charlotte you didn’t use a condom that night.  She’s going to know I was knocked up at the Star Wars party.  Who gets knocked up at a Star Wars party?  Of course,” I throw my arms up in surrender looking back out at the street, “me!”

He sighs.  I feel him unhook my seatbelt and reach for my face, forcing me to look at him.  He’s fighting back a smile when he asks, “You done?”

I shake my head quickly in his hands, “It’s going to be bad.”

“It’s not going to be bad,” he disagrees.

“Yes, it is.”

He lets go of my face and leans back, digging in his jeans pocket.  When he settles back in his seat, he doesn’t look at me, but reaches for my left hand and I look down at what he’s doing.  I feel my mouth drop as I see a single diamond sitting at the base of my left ring finger.  It’s simple, a square solitaire sitting high on a delicate white gold band.  I don’t even know the official name of a square diamond, but I’ll have to figure that out later.  It’s not huge, but it is larger than small.  What it is is perfect.

“What’s this?” I whisper, not looking away from my hand that he’s still holding in his.

“Baby,” he says, I feel his hand come to my chin and lifting it for me to look at him.  “You go in there tonight and tell your family we’re getting married.  You want to tell them about the baby tonight or wait to tell them, I don’t care.  But if it’s not tonight, it needs to be soon.  It’s good news to me and it will be to them, too.  They’ll be surprised but they love you.  In the end, they’ll be happy.  Do what you want, but one thing’s for certain, we’re getting on with it and we’re starting with this,” he says, giving my hand a squeeze.

“We’re getting on with it?” I ask.

“Yes,” he says and leans in to kiss me.

I look back down at my ring and ask, “When did you get this?”

“This afternoon.”

“But,” I start.  “You said you were going to Home Depot and were only gone for an hour.”

“You don’t like it?” he asks.

I look back up and say softly, “I love it.”

He leans in to kiss me again and asks, “You ready to go in?”

“I guess.”

“Let’s go,” he says and we meet in front of his car where Cam casually takes my hand, as if he didn’t just slide a ring on my finger declaring his intent to keep me forever. 

He walks me up to my childhood home where my entire family is waiting for us.  And there it goes again.  Reality—hitting me like a freight train.

When we walk through the door, we barely make it through the entryway when they start to flock on us—their pecking order obvious—the Carpino women leading the way. 

“You were out there forever, it’s almost time to eat,” Charlotte says.

“Sorry,” I start.

“What took so long?” my mom asks.

“I don’t…” I start to mutter.

My dad walks up and stands beside my mom frowning, “You okay?”

“Uh-huh,” I mumble.

I feel Cam squeeze my hand that’s wearing the ring he just gave me.  I look up and he juts his chin toward the group, silent bossing me to announce…something.  I give him a frown and a small shake of my head.  He frowns back and I get another hand squeeze.

“What’s going on?” Sophia demands.

I look up at Cam and he shakes his head before tucking me into his side.  He looks down one more time and leans in to kiss my forehead before he turns to my family announcing, “We’re getting married.”

There’s an array of responses from our group:  gasps, curses, happy squeals and grunts.  But the only thing I can focus on is my mother’s high-pitched voice, “What?”

Cam pulls me closer, “Yes.  We love each other.”

My mother glares at me, “So soon?”

“Yes,” Cam repeats with resolve.

It’s my dad that levels his eyes on me and tips his head frowning, “You’ve hardly been back together for anytime at all.  You’re sure about this?”

I look up into Cam’s bright blues.  He gives me his content look, telling me it’s all going to be okay.  I let myself melt into him and his goatee tips on one side.  After his arm gives me one more squeeze, I turn fully to my dad.  Cam pulls my back to his front and I say to the man who has always supported me no matter what, “Absolutely.   I’ve never wanted anything more.”

“Have you set a date?” Leigh asks smiling, showing me how happy she is for us.

I feel my eyes get big and turn around, looking up at Cam quickly.  His arm pulls me tighter to his back and looking into my eyes, he answers, “Soon.”

“How soon?” Gabby asks, excited.  She’s probably planning center pieces and floral arrangements in her head. 

“Soon,” I add looking up at Cam.  I continue to plan our shotgun wedding in front of everyone, “We’re getting married in Texas.  At the ranch.”

A slow smile spreads across his face, showing me this makes him happy. 

“Texas?” my mother queries.

Looking back to her, I confirm, “Yes.  I know it’s fall, but it’s warmer there and it’s where Cam grew up.  I can’t think of a better place.”

“But, sweetheart,” my dad asks.  “Why the rush?”

I feel Cam’s hand around my middle drop, splaying across our baby.  A place he’s touched me now more times than I can count in the last day, starting when we woke up this morning.  I look at my parents, not knowing how to answer.  Just when I pull my lip between my teeth, searching for the courage needed to explain the rush, I hear, “You’ve gotta be shitting me.”

I look over where my brother is standing beside his wife.  He’s frowning, but not at me, at Cam. 

“Shit,” I hear in a chuckle and look over to see Jude grinning.

“What?” my mom asks, looking around.

“Oh no,” Charlotte mutters.

Lanny starts to laugh.

Sophia gasps.

Vic grunts.

“Ohmygoodness,” Gabby squeaks.

“Tony,” Leigh says to my brother in a warning.  She turns and grasps his arm, trying to calm her husband.

“What’s going on?” my dad growls, a deep frown playing on his normally patient face.

“Well,” I start and pull in a breath.  “You see…”

“We’re having a baby,” Cam interrupts me.

“You’re pregnant?” my mother cries.

“Yes,” Cam answers for me, taking over the whole situation.  “We’re starting our lives together, we’re getting married and we’re having a baby.  In that order.  And it’s happening soon.”

“But,” my mom starts to argue for some reason.  “You’ve only been back together for two weeks.”

“It’s been longer than that,” I correct her. 

“Oh hell, it was the Sta – ” Charlotte exclaims before I shoot her a dirty look.  She shuts up immediately, but gives me her big eyes.

“Tony, Lizzie,” Cam starts and when I look up to him, he’s looking intently at my parents, delivering a gentle warning.  “This might not be the order of events you would’ve chosen for your daughter, but I can promise you, it would’ve happened anyway.  I love her, my kids love her, she loves us and we’re happy.  At least, she was before we walked in here tonight, but now she’s stressed about all of you.  I don’t want her anxious and I’ll do anything I have to do to make sure she’s nothing but happy about us, our baby and our family.  Now, I’m asking you, do not give her a reason to be worried.”

My family quiets at Cam’s plea (okay, his demand in the form of a plea).  I look at my parents and they both look at us, my dad sighs and my mother’s face relaxes a bit. 

My dad looks at me, “You’re happy?”

I don’t say anything but lean into Cam, nodding my head.

“You’re having a baby,” my mom whispers, as if it’s finally hitting her. 

I smile and feel my stupid, stupid tears again, nodding my answer.

My mom finally moves and Cam lets me go.  I feel her arms come around me and she whispers, “You’re pregnant and you’re getting married?”

“Yes, mom,” I whisper back.

But before I know it, she turns us sideways and still hugging me tight, she says in her big voice but she’s looking straight at my brother, “Do you hear that, Tony?  They’re getting married and they’re inviting everyone!”

The room erupts, but my brother’s head falls back where he looks to the ceiling.  My dad peels me away from my mom and gives me a big hug, but I can feel his sigh when he expresses, “Love you, sweetheart.  We only want the best for you.”

I blink the wetness from my eyes, “I know.”

He gives me a squeeze before my sisters rip me from his arms, yanking my hand to see my ring and start asking me a million questions, along with Leigh and Gabby.

The room was abuzz and all was well in Carpino Land again.  I wipe my face and through the chaos, I catch Cam’s stare from across the room.  His blue eyes are sharp, his gaze full of promise and intent.  He assured me my family would be happy and they are.  I send him a small smile, thinking nothing could be more perfect than right now. 

And I was right, now is perfect.  But I’m Paige Carpino, I’ve always lived in the now.  I’m getting married to the man of my dreams.  I’m going to get to give a baby to the man I love, who loves me back and I already know he’s an amazing father.  My smile gets bigger because it settles inside me and I realize it.   I’m going to get it all.  Everything I ever wanted and even more that I never knew to want with Jordy and Cara. 

I had no idea how quickly things could change.  The idea of my world being rocked in a mere twenty-four hours was out of my realm of possibility, not when the now is so perfect. 

Cam smiles back, as he accepts a drink and a slap on the back.  And I sigh, only having eyes for him, living in the now.  And loving it.

I had twenty-four hours of now before it all came crashing to a dead halt.