Chapter Thirteen
I paced back and forth across the tiny space next to the bed in my apartment, and wondered how long I was going to be there for.
I didn’t hate this place- in fact, I was growing to like it more than I expected. But Sam was starting to take over the story, and I couldn’t have that.
I liked him- a lot, actually. He was smarter than he made out to be, and expressive, and funny, and so fucking good in bed that sometimes it made my head spin just thinking about it. But…this decision. I knew that whatever he chose, it would be the climax of my story, but more importantly, it would change his life forever. I knew I should have been able to keep my professional detachment, but I was getting embroiled in his personal life and I didn’t want that. Or did I? Was what was going on between us just me getting too involved in the story? Or was it something more? Would there still be something between us if we had just met at the bar instead of at the rink? I couldn’t be sure and I hated myself for it.
I had never felt this way about anyone before. Sure, I’d met some cute guys in the time that I’d been reporting, and some of them I had even reporting on- but I had been dating that entire time, I wasn’t looking for someone to date. I couldn’t tell what was just me focusing in on the story, searching out the narrative of the piece I was putting together. I needed some time to figure things out, needed to get to know him outside of the rink and my Dictaphone. But how could I do that?
I decided to head out for a drink- I had spotted a chic-looking bar on one of my drives about town, and I needed a beer just to help clear my head. Counter-intuitive? Probably, but I would deal with that later.
I walked through Kingstown, appreciating the hustle and bustle around me- I loved to people-watch, and, as people left their day jobs and others started their night shifts, I had a great opportunity to squeeze some in. But, instead of making me feel better, it just made me feel more alone- back in the city, the people around me reminded me of my friends and family, the people I grew up with and loved. When I looked at the people here, I was reminded just how far I was from home, and just how little I knew anyone or anything about this place.
I arrived at the bar after a few minutes’ walk, and, as I walked through door, I felt myself relax slightly- yeah, I was still far from home, but I could recognize a fancy cocktail bar when I saw it, and this place was about as fancy as I would find in a town like this. I wondered who’s idea it was to open a bar like this-all polished wood, neutral colours, and light jazz playing in the background- but dismissed the thought at once. Stop overanalysing, and just have some fun.
I ordered myself one of their most expensive craft beers, and took a long sip-well, as long as I wasn’t playing city-prices rent, I might as well spend my money on something a little more exciting. I closed my eyes as I drank-mmm.
“I haven’t seen you around here,” A voice came from beside me. My eyes flipped open, and I found myself staring into the face of a kindly-looking older man of about fifty or sixty.
“I’m new,” I replied by way of explanation. “I’m doing a story on the Crows so I’m only here for a few months.”
“The Crows!” The man’s face lit up and he shook his head. “Damn, it’s been a long time since I thought about them.”
“What do you mean?” I asked, leaning forward with interest. Yeah, I knew I was meant to be here to have fun, but when a tantalising little titbit like that dropped into my lap I couldn’t really ignore it.
“I used to play for them,” the man spread his hands widely with a big grin of his face, obviously proud of his announcement. “When I was in college.”
“Really?” I cocked an eyebrow, and wished that I had brought my Dictaphone with me.
“Oh yeah,” he nodded. “In fact, I played for them for a few years.”
“What was it like?” I asked eagerly.
“Back then?” The man took a sip of his drink. “Not much. We had a good time, but it was barely more than an amateur league that we played in. I think most of us were more in it to find drinking buddies than we were to win any trophies.”
“What do you think about the team now?” I continued, trying to take mental notes of everything he was telling me.
“I haven’t been to see them in a long time,” he admitted with a shrug. “I left town a long time ago, I’m only back here tonight to visit my sister and her kids.”
“Oh, really?”
“Yeah,” he nodded. “That’s why I quit the team in the first place, actually. Because I wanted to get out of here and that was the only thing keeping me tied down.”
“That’s interesting,” I mumbled, half to myself, and suddenly wished Sam was here. If he could hear what this guy was saying…
“But those new kids, I bet they get to travel all over the place,” he perked up. “All over the state, I’d wager!”
“Yeah, I think they go a bit farther afield now,” I agreed then looked back at my drink.
“I’ll leave you to it,” the man bowed his head, as if sensing my need to have a think about what he’d just said. “Let me know if I you think of any more questions for me!”
“I will!” I smiled as he made his way to a small booth on the opposite side of the room, glad to be back in my own head once again.
Everything that I heard in this place, added on to my own experiences, made me want to go to Sam and beg him to get out of here. There were better things to do with his life- no matter how much he liked this place, no matter how much he thought he wanted to stay, he must have known as well as everyone else did that if he remained in Kingstown then nothing would change.
I finished up my drink and ordered another- I knew I was probably going to get a little drunk that night, but it was fine as there was no training the following morning. I might go for a drive to the local library and see what they had on the Crows, but in the meantime, I planned to get pretty fucking drunk to try and fix all the memories that were parading around my head non-stop. My life back home, whatever was happening with Sam, this place, my last place- not to mention where I would go when this was all over. The reality of the situation was beginning to set in, and it frightened me- serving as a reminder that not everything got wrapped up neatly by the end of the episode.
By the time I got home, I was staggering on my feet a little- as soon as I was through the door, I reached for my Dictaphone and put on the last interview that I had done with Sam. I listened to his voice echo through the room, with mine intercutting every now and then to ask for a clarification or point him in the direction that I knew I needed. I still cringed every time I heard myself speak. I did my best to focus in on Sam, and found myself lost in the excitement in his voice, the enthusiasm, how much he loved this and how much he needed it. He couldn’t just stay here. There was more to him than that. There had to be.
I reached for my phone impulsively, and pulled up his number. Was I really going to do this? I stared at it for a few seconds, and then dumped it back down on my bed. No, I wasn’t. Because I had already tried my best, and it hadn’t worked. He needed to come to the conclusion himself, and it was clear that nothing I could do was going to convince him.
And then, the phone rang.