Javier walked alongside her, his whole soul sagging. He knew he should be elated. It had worked. She’d done it and she’d done it in spectacular fashion. This was exactly what he’d wanted for her all along.
But it was hard to be happy because she wouldn’t be his. She would be in the kitchen now, closer than ever, and never more far away from him.
He opened the door to the building, allowing her to walk in first. “After you.”
She walked past him, a tired smile on her face. “Thanks for giving me a ride.”
“Of course.”
It was past late. The lobby was completely silent and he could see Harold busy napping in the back. He needed to find a place with better security. He needed to find a new place, period, because living close to Jules and not being able to have her was going to be hell. She needed to focus on her career. She needed to be safe, and being around Rafe wasn’t safe.
What the hell was he going to do about Rafe? Besides talk to him and ask him flat out what he was doing. If Rafe lied, he would go through his brother’s things. It wasn’t fair, but he had to know. If his brother was in trouble, he needed to find a way to get him out.
“So are we not going to talk anymore?” She settled her duffel bag over her shoulder. He’d asked if he could carry it for her, but she’d been stubborn. Sometime before they’d left she’d gone into the locker room and taken off her prosthetic, slipping it into a bag she kept in her locker for such an occasion.
“What do you mean? We’ve been talking the whole way home.” They’d talked about the menus for the next week, what they would need, how she would adapt the board to be able to properly prep each veg. She’d talked about getting a new arm with a more technologically cutting-edge hand. Her mother was helping her pay for it.
How long would it be before her mother realized Jules could run her kitchens? How long before she snatched her daughter back?
“I meant are we going to talk about us?” Jules asked.
He sighed and started down the hall. “I thought we decided that earlier tonight, Jules. There’s nothing left to talk about. I meant what I said. I’m not going to hurt you anymore. The truth is I’m not good at commitment.”
He’d wondered if she would be on a high from the night and want to revisit that particular subject. It wasn’t like he hadn’t seen it before. Women sometimes came looking for him because they’d gotten a promotion or done something they’d only dreamed of, and they went to a club, high on the adrenaline and pride, and looked for someone to celebrate with. A little present to themselves. He hadn’t minded then. It had been a fun game, and hey, if a lady wanted a prize, he could give her one.
It wasn’t a game with Jules.
“You aren’t good at commitment?” Jules asked.
This was what he’d come up with. He would give her the truth. It was what he should have done in the first place, but he hadn’t been honest with himself, either. “I don’t know if you’ve heard, but I have quite the reputation.”
“Getting bored already?” There was a suspicious tone to her voice.
He stopped in front of the elevator. It would be the best way to cut the ties between them. He could look her straight in the eyes and tell her he wasn’t getting what he needed sexually, that he couldn’t imagine living the rest of his life with only one sex partner.
He couldn’t do it. Not only was he a shitty liar, he couldn’t look at her and willfully make her heart ache.
“Of course not.” How to make her understand? “It’s not about the sex. I think I’ve made it clear how much I enjoy making love to you. I’m not good at relationships. I haven’t had many, and the ones I have been in didn’t last for long. I wish it could be different, but it’s not, and that’s obvious to me.”
And he’d fumbled with her. He’d pushed her when he shouldn’t, stepped back when he should have taken control. He was a mess when it came to her.
“Awesome,” she replied, pressing the button to go up. “I was worried it was something serious. I’ve got a solution for you, babe. Try harder. I think that was your advice to me and it worked perfectly.” She breezed into the elevator and turned, leaning against the back wall and giving him a sultry smile. “I’m sure you’ll work it out. Until then, try to think of our intimate time together as playing. If you need boundaries, we’ll talk about it. We’ll negotiate. That should get you through the rough first part.”
He hopped on before the doors closed, knife set in his hand. It was rolled up and tied. He’d already thought about getting one for Jules. She needed a new one, one that was personally hers, used and taken care of by her. He didn’t like the idea that she would have to use one of the restaurant’s sets. She should have the best. Perhaps he could convince her Top always welcomed a new chef with a thousand dollars’ worth of knives.
Yeah, she would buy that.
“What do you mean ‘rough’ part?” She wasn’t making a ton of sense, but then they both needed sleep.
“The part where you pretend you never said you loved me, never spent days and days practicing to cook with one hand. The part where you decide to let me go for my own good, but we still end up in bed together because I intend to be naked around you as often as possible and you’re not great with the self-control thing. That part.”
Riding high was exactly what she was doing. She thought she’d conquered the world and now their problems had dissolved. But he knew they hadn’t. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. I think you might be right about Rafe, and that makes him dangerous to be around.”
“The good news is I’m pretty good at defending myself and I intend to take over for you there. He’s your big brother. He’s not mine. I’m going to explain the way of the world to him. He can go to rehab or he can go to jail.”
“Jail?”
Her face softened. “I know it sounds harsh, but I’m not going to allow him to ruin your life. You’re too close to this. I love you. I’ll fight your brother for you.”
Sweet words, but after the night she’d had, they were also inevitable. She’d climbed the highest of mountains, but tomorrow she would see they still had their problems. “I can’t tell you how much that means, but I’ll handle Rafe.”
“Babe, unless you can admit that he has a real problem, you can’t handle Rafe,” she replied, moving into his space. She set the bag down and brought up her right hand to touch his face. “I’ll find a good rehab center, and I know how to maneuver my way through the system. I’ll make it work. And I’ll do it for selfish reasons. I’m going to be honest. I don’t want to live with your brother for the rest of my life. He’s crabby, and I like a little peace at home.”
The very touch of her hand sent a heat wave through his body. He had to step back because suddenly that elevator was too small for the two of them. “You don’t have to live with Rafe. Honestly, I’m thinking about changing things up. I need to look for something a little bigger.”
“We can get a house later,” she said, her eyes on him. “I think for now it’s best we stay close to the restaurant. Besides, I signed a year’s lease. You might be out of yours, but I need to stay for another ten months or so. Then we can talk.”
“Jules, you’re not listening to me.”
“Javier, make some sense and I’ll listen,” she replied, backing him against the metal wall. She was so close she brushed against his cock.
“You can’t say no to this.” He cleared his throat because those words had come out all husky when he needed to be firm. “I broke up with you. That’s not something you can say no to.”
“Watch me. I fought tonight. I did that because you cared enough about me to push me. I am not going to give you up now.” She put a hand on his chest as though challenging him to push her back. Or as though claiming him. She touched him like he belonged to her. Like they belonged together. “I know I hurt you earlier because I accused you of a bunch of stuff you didn’t do, and now you think you need to throw yourself on your sword and spare me the heartache of loving you. But I’m strong. I can handle anything that comes my way, including dealing with whatever it is your brother is into. Including being your lowest employee at work.”
“I don’t mistreat my line chefs.” If that was what she was worried about, she hadn’t spent enough time in his kitchen.
“No, but you yell at them. You push them like hell because you want them to be better.” She looked up at him, her eyes gleaming in the low light. “I can handle anything you dish out, Chef. I’ll do my best and respect your authority. When we’re working together, you’re the boss. And when the lights go down and everyone else leaves, you can give me my daily performance review. Can you imagine how that will go?”
Yep. He had that vision in his head now. He’d thought he was tired, but there was a part of him that had come to vibrant, demanding life. “Jules…”
Her voice went low, the tone reminding him of how she moaned when he fucked her hard. “I imagine you’ll punish me if I get something wrong. I probably will. Especially in the beginning. You’ll keep a list of infractions and at the end of the day, I’ll have to pay. I’ll have to get undressed for you. You won’t have it any other way and I’ll be a well-trained employee, so the minute the door locks and we’re alone, you’ll find me naked and kneeling, waiting for your notes.”
She was killing him. His cock was already hard at the thought, and he could feel his blood starting to pound. “Juliana, this is serious.”
“So were my infractions. This evening, I wasted an entire bag of onions. I think that likely deserves some punishment. Do you want to do it here?” Her face had brightened up, like a kitten eager to play.
“Playing” in this case meant burying his cock deep inside her.
He tried to push the idea out of his head. The one that contained his brain. The head on his dick had entirely different plans.
“The elevator doors will open any moment now.” In fact, they’d been here for a while. It should not have taken them this long to get to the fourth floor. If he didn’t get out of here soon, when those doors did open he would have her up against the wall, pounding himself inside her.
“Don’t worry about it. I hit the stop button a long time ago,” she whispered. “Ever done it in an elevator?”
A couple of times, but it would be different with her. Everything was different and new with her. “You’re only saying these things because you had a breakthrough tonight. I don’t want you to wake up tomorrow and regret this. And I would have gone out and bought another hundred onions if you’d needed them.”
She put her hands on his chest. “I knew that. Do you know how I knew that? Because no one in my life has ever taken care of me the way you do. You say you’re not good at commitment, but I’m going to have to argue with you. How many men would spend their free time practicing knife skills with a hand they would never use in the actual kitchen? How many hours did you spend on that? Learning what it would be like to be me in order to help me? That sounds like commitment to me. If it’s not, I’ll take it.”
He’d done it so he could feel closer to her. She was a puzzle and he would never learn all her pieces, but he could spend a lifetime trying to put them all together, each forming a new and gorgeous section of the woman he was utterly fascinated with. He’d done it to know what she went through in a day because he’d never wanted to feel closer to a human being than he did this one.
He wanted to do everything she’d said. God, he wanted to play with her. He was tired beyond anything and he still wanted to get his hands on her. He could spank her and fuck her and sleep beside her.
Where? On his fucking sleeper sofa that he had to pull out to even get to?
In the same place that had been broken into twice in the last few weeks?
Meeting her mother had brought into crystal clarity exactly what he didn’t have to offer her.
He reached out and touched the button to start the elevator again. “I think this is a mistake.”
Jules frowned, but held up her hand in obvious submission. “If you need time, I’ll give it to you, but don’t try sliding back into your old habits. It won’t go well for you or whoever you try to backslide with. Can we agree on that?”
His old habits? He knew what she meant. He worried he might never have those old habits again.
“I don’t want anyone but you,” he said quietly. She might have ruined him for all other women, and wasn’t that the funniest fucking part? “I don’t even think about other women. But I don’t think I’m good for you.”
She stared forward. “You’re wrong. And I’m going to prove it to you. You, Javier Leones, are the absolute best thing that ever happened to me.”
The doors opened and he couldn’t help but reach for her hand. He brushed against it and then thought better, but her fingers were already tangled with his. They meshed easily, as if that was their natural state.
He couldn’t work up the will to let her go. He would walk her to her apartment. He would not go in. He would not follow her inside and ease her clothes off and make long, slow love to her until they both fell into an exhausted sleep.
They walked down the hall in silence.
As they started to pass his apartment, the door came open and a man dressed all in black stepped out into the hallway. All in black except for the silver gun in his hand.
“Mr. Leones, I thought you were going to disappoint us this evening. Please, come inside. We’ve been trying to make a deal with your brother, but he’s unable to satisfy us. I hope you can do better.”
Fear flooded his system. Not for himself. For her. He dropped her hand and tried to look like a dude who dealt with drug dealers all the time. There was no question in his mind that the man in front of him was just that. Or some kind of mobster, but he thought the former because the man was dressed in sweats and a T-shirt, a bandana around his neck that likely symbolized what gang he worked for.
“Go on, babe. I’ll take care of this and be down there in a bit.” He winked her way like it was no big deal.
Jules sighed. “I told you he was using. He didn’t even bother to offer us any. Your brother’s an asshole.”
She was good. There was nothing at all in her manner that suggested fear or that this was anything but an ordinary, everyday occurrence.
But when she started to step away, the man moved in front of her. Javier reached out, pulling her back.
“I don’t think so,” the man said. “I think you both should come inside.” He glanced down at her. “Looks like you already had some trouble, honey. Be a good girl or you’ll lose the other hand.”
Rage rose, a cobra needing to strike.
“Men,” Jules said with a sigh. “You’re always so dramatic.”
She squeezed his hand as though to remind him that his rage wouldn’t stop a bullet.
He took a deep breath, tamping down his emotions. “Still think I’m the best thing that ever happened to you?”
She rolled her eyes and strode into his apartment.
He had to pray he found a way to stop whatever was about to happen because he couldn’t lose her.
He couldn’t.
* * * *
Jules followed the asshat drug lord into Javier’s apartment and managed to not tell her reluctant boyfriend that she told him so. Well, she kind of had before, but she’d used it as cover in an attempt to get the asshat to let her go to her own apartment. Once there, she would have contacted the police, gotten her gun, and shown back up to save her reluctant boyfriend because he couldn’t transform into her eager boyfriend if he was dead.
But when they were through with this, he was getting an I told you so. A hearty one.
She stopped as she took in the scene before her. Or maybe she would just wrap her arms around him and hold him tight.
His brother was on the floor, his wheelchair busted, and it looked like someone had broken it over Rafael’s body. He had his shirt off, a pair of cutoff sweat pants the only clothing he had on. He looked so vulnerable without his chair or prosthetics.
Her heart constricted as Javier tried to go to his brother. Was he even alive? There was a lot of blood, and she couldn’t see his left eye anymore. It was swollen shut. There was a bloody gag in his mouth.
How long had he been here, being beaten and tortured? They had music playing through the room. Not anything so loud that the neighbors would call the police, but loud enough it might cover the sounds of fists hitting flesh.
“What the hell did you do to him?” Javier asked, kneeling beside his brother. He set his knife kit on the chair beside the couch.
Jules watched, waiting to see if they would take it. She set down her bag and gingerly moved to where she could stand in front of the chair. They might not realize what it was. To the layman it would look like a small, cylindrical leather bag.
Javier pulled the gag out of his brother’s mouth and tossed it to the side.
“Nothing I didn’t promise I would do weeks ago,” the asshat said with a long sigh. “Isn’t that right, Rafe? This has been a long time coming. You thought you could move and I wouldn’t figure out where you were, did you?”
“Mac, if you hurt Sonja,” Rafe started, his voice ragged
Mac held up his free hand. “I’m a gentleman. And your wife is actually respectable. I don’t play around with innocent women and kids. That’s a good way to go to jail. Besides, she’s smart, too. She kicked you out. She’s not going to help pay your bill, is she? She’d let you die, but I bet your brother here won’t say the same thing.”
They weren’t alone. Another man strode out of the bedroom, a gun in his hand as well. He was shorter, skinny enough that she would bet he sampled the product, and often. “I can’t find it, Mac. He says it’s somewhere in there, but I don’t see it.”
“I bet his brother knows, Greg.” Mac knelt down beside Javier. “Let’s talk, you and I. Now I’m a reasonable man. I understand fully that you owe me nothing. It’s your addict brother who’s run up a considerable bill that apparently he can’t pay. My product isn’t free. I offered your brother credit because I felt for him. I love our troops, too, man.”
Rafe turned his face up, a moan coming from his mouth. “I’m sorry, Javi. I tried to get the money. I really did.”
God, she wished she hadn’t been right. “How much does he owe?”
Javier stood up, putting his body in front of hers. “Leave her out of this. He’s my brother and I’ll take care of whatever I need to.”
“Your brother here tells me you have a safe and that’s where you keep the serious cash,” Mac said, his voice low.
“I don’t have serious cash,” Javier argued, his face pained. “I have about twenty-five hundred dollars in cash. I can get another grand from the bank. That’s all.”
Mac followed him. “Well, that is a problem because your brother owes ten grand.”
“You took ten thousand dollars’ worth of pills?” Javier asked, horror plain in his voice.
Mac shrugged. “There might be some penalties and interest involved in that particular number, but that’s the only number my boss is going to accept.”
“I don’t have that kind of cash,” Javier replied.
Mac did not look like a man who was ready to negotiate. “But I bet you could get it. I bet there’s a lot of money running through that restaurant you work at.”
Jules kept quiet, watching the second man. He seemed much more interested in Javier than in her. Likely they looked at her arm and thought she was perfectly harmless. She was cool with that, but she hadn’t been in the Navy for her health. She hadn’t slept through training either. She’d enjoyed the physical aspects of the military.
She eased the case onto her lap while they were arguing.
“No one pays cash at restaurants these days,” Javier was saying. “Top isn’t some fast-food place. Everyone pays with credit these days. I don’t know how my working there is going to help you. Though maybe you should come in one night. My boss might help me out. He might be able to float me some cash. Just give me until tomorrow night, man. I can get it for you. Meet me at the backdoor of the kitchen and we’ll make the exchange then.”
And ten former military men would be waiting for Mac. Most of them Special Forces. It was a brilliant plan. They’d bring Big Tag in for fun. She heard the dude liked some violence from time to time.
Her man was smart.
Mac frowned down at him. “I promised I would have the money tonight. I have obligations, too.”
Javier held his hands up. “All right. I’ll call him now. He can meet us.”
She gently twisted the strap on the left side of the knife kit.
Sean Taggart would be pissed to have his sleep interrupted, but he would also take care of the situation. Likely in a super-bloody way. She kind of hoped she got to see that, but she had to plan for the worst-case scenario.
“You really think this friend can come through for you?” Mac asked.
Javier nodded. “He’s got the money. He can get it in cash, but we’ll have to meet him.”
She had her hand on the second buckle. Maybe she wouldn’t have to do this after all. If the Taggarts were about to get involved, she would happily sit in the audience and watch. She wasn’t a fool. She would leave it to the experts. And then her man would get a reward for thinking so fast on his feet. After they’d carted his brother off to a very nice rehab facility.
“What about Mom’s ring?” Rafe croaked out the words. “I know she gave it to you to keep in the safe. It’s worth a lot.”
Or screw rehab. She could kill him.
“Let’s see it.” Mac waved the gun Javier’s way. “Where’s the safe? I want the cash and I want to see that ring. I don’t like the idea of taking this show on the road.”
Yep, she was going to kill Rafe.
“What the fuck is that?” Mac asked, turning to her.
She picked the knife kit up, holding it close and trying to look super scared. “It’s my art work. I’m working with a small canvas right now. I roll it up so I can take it with me. Do you want to see it?”
He frowned. “Do I want to see your fucking art work? Is it worth ten grand?”
She shook her head. “No. I’ve never actually sold anything, but I’m trying.”
“With one fucking hand,” he said with a roll of his eyes. “Just shut the fuck up while your boyfriend here gets me what I need. If he doesn’t, well, I might have to take you with me to make sure he behaves.”
Javier’s eyes were wide as he looked back at her. “Just be calm, Jules. I’ll handle this. Let me handle this.”
He was pleading with her because he knew what was in that pack, but she couldn’t let the chance go by. Maybe if Javier gave them enough they would let all three of them live, but why risk it? They’d said each other’s names, allowed them to see their faces. It wasn’t looking good.
“Where’s the safe? I’m getting impatient,” Mac said. “Greg, watch these two. Make sure the cripples don’t get away.”
She clutched her kit like she was going to cry.
Javier led Mac back into his bedroom.
There wasn’t a lot she could do with that Greg person looking right at her.
“So you’re some kind of artist, huh? Don’t let Mac get to you,” he said, moving into her space. “I think you’re pretty even with the bum arm. If you have to come with us, stay close to me. I’ll take care of you.”
“You going to take care of her with that tiny dick of yours?” Rafe rasped out.
Greg’s head swung around to look at Rafe. “What the fuck did you say?”
Rafe’s lips curved up in a bloody grin. “I heard some of the women at that club your boss runs talking about what a tiny little needle dick you have.”
She gasped as Greg’s booted foot came out and then met Rafe’s gut with a horrific thud.
“You want to say that again, asshole?” Greg asked, his attention focused wholly on his victim.
Thereby giving her the time she needed to get that sucker open. Rafe knew what she was holding, too. He was trying to cover for her. Rafe said something truly terrible to the man and Greg went at him again.
She got the kit opened, unrolling it quickly. Javier had two boning knives, one for fish and poultry, a second with a stiffer blade for pork and beef. Six inches long, it would be far easier to handle than the chef knife.
She shoved the kit back onto the table and thanked the universe for men who thought anything with breasts was harmless and something to turn one’s back on. And she silently thanked Rafe for taking one for the team. Hard.
Greg kicked him in the gut.
Jules took that moment to stab him in the right arm, the powerful knife slicing through muscle and sinew exactly as it was supposed to.
And her opponent did what came naturally when one’s arm was being assaulted. His hand lost its grip, dropping the gun as he shouted out.
Jules started to go for the weapon, but Rafe had it in his hands, and he proved he hadn’t spent all that time in the military for nothing either.
Rafe rolled and raised his hand and took the shot.
Greg stumbled back, his hand on his chest, trying to stop the blood.
Mac showed up in the doorway, pointing his gun toward Jules first.
It didn’t matter. Javier was on his back, his arm going around Mac’s neck in a choke hold.
Rafe reached out and dragged Jules to the floor, trying to cover her with his body. “Stay down. Let Javier take care of him. He’s good at this. I should know. The little shit perfected it on me when we used to wrestle.”
She needed to get up, to help Javi. The problem was while Rafe might not like to use what was left of his legs, he had some serious upper-body strength.
There was a thud and then Javier was standing over her, his face pale. He reached out, hauling her up.
“I thought I told you to let me handle it,” he said, dragging her close.
“You also told me I was good with knives.” She was shaking, the adrenaline still coursing through her.
The door came open and all heads turned.
Mrs. Gleeson stood there in her gown, a shotgun in her hand. She looked around the room. “Did you leave any for me?”
“Damn it, old woman.” Mr. Cassidy ran in, adjusting his glasses. There was a cell phone in his hand. “I told you to wait for the police.”
Javier sighed and squeezed her tight as they heard the sirens.
She held on, promising herself she would never let go again.