Javier crossed his arms over his chest and frowned. “Excuse me? What did you just say?”
Eric Vail set down the box he’d carried in. “I asked if you were giving Jules a ride to the party. I figured you might come together since you’re in the same building. No? You can certainly take two cars. No one’s going to check your carbon footprint at the door. I was asking because I kind of thought you two were friends.”
Friends? He’d thought they were friends, too, but friends didn’t use each other for sex and then avoid their friendly sex partner like he had the plague. The one time in the last few days he’d managed to catch her, she’d been polite. She’d asked about his day, told him she’d been to a session with her therapist. When he’d asked if she would join him for dinner, she’d turned a perfect shade of pink and mumbled something about having plans and disappeared into her apartment.
It rankled. It also made him more certain than ever that they needed to talk, and unless she was going to quit her job, that talk was coming faster than she thought.
“I was unaware that Jules had decided to join us.” He hadn’t planned to go, either, but only because he couldn’t work up the will to play. He’d been about to tell Eric he was staying home. Between Rafe getting out the hospital and the fact that he didn’t want some random play partner, he’d convinced himself to stay in. He’d decided he would ask Jules if she wanted to catch a late movie with him, put their relationship back on the right track.
Chef had been correct. He’d thought about what had gone wrong for days. He had to show her she was different, and that meant a two-pronged assault on her senses. He had work Javier and fun Javier.
And now he had pissed-off Javier because she was going to a play party without him.
They definitely needed to have a talk.
“Who’s walking her around?” There was no question that she would be coming alone. Even though this was a private party, she was a tourist and would need someone to be responsible for her.
“Kai matched her with one of my line chefs. His name is Cal. Good guy,” Eric replied.
“Does he like his life? Because if he lays a hand on her, I’ll make sure it all goes to hell.”
Eric stopped, staring at him for a moment. “Holy shit.”
Chef stepped up and put a hand on Javi’s shoulder. “Is your girl trying to get away? I heard from Kai that she’s going to the party. I meant to ask if she was your date.”
“Nope. Apparently, she’s going with Cal, who will soon find out that he’s not needed for the evening.” This was what jealousy felt like. He didn’t like it. The thought of Jules being led around by big, strong ex-football playing Cal was one he liked even less. “Except Cal is going to be conveniently unavailable to aid her in this.”
“Nice play,” Chef said approvingly. “I suspect you have someone else in mind.”
“It’s going to be me or no one at all.”
Eric watched them like he couldn’t quite understand the conversation. “When did Javier get all caveman about a woman?”
“When he met the right one,” Chef said with a smile.
Eric shook his head. “You poor bastard. You finally meet a woman you want more than a night with and she’s giving you hell?”
“She’s being difficult,” Javier allowed. “But I think it’s because she’s afraid. I’m going to try something when she gets in tonight. If it doesn’t work I’ll back off. I’m not some asshole who thinks a woman should fall in line because I want her to. If she’s not into me, I’ll let Cal escort her and I’ll be polite as hell. I like her. I don’t mean to grind her down if she can’t care about me the way I care about her.”
“Who are you and what did you do with Javi?” Eric looked at Sean. “He’s a pod person, Chef. We’ve gotta get the real one back.”
He flipped Eric the bird. “I’m not an asshole.”
Sean chuckled. “He’s closing up his manwhore shop. You know we all do it when the right one comes along. Although he does seem to have trouble corralling her. I would be concerned, but I think Javi’s right. She’s scared of his reputation. I know she’s interested in him. I’ve seen how she watches him.”
“And she didn’t bring back my shirt.” That had given him some hope.
“Wow. You’re telling me you slept with her and you’re now trying to get her to go out with you?” Eric asked. “Miracles happen. This is going to be an interesting play party. I’ll make sure to tell Cal that you intend to beat the shit out of him for offering to politely escort your non-girlfriend around.”
Fine. He was being an ass about Cal. “Or you could ask him if he wouldn’t mind helping a brother out. A brother who can’t get a woman out of his head. I would be eternally grateful if he would give me this chance with her. And I’ll talk to Kai, too. But only if she responds to our talk the way I think she will.”
“And if she doesn’t?” Eric asked.
His stomach clenched at the thought. “Then I’ll step back and leave her be and only execute part of my plan. The work part.”
Eric put a hand on the box he’d brought with him. “Ah, this is for her. I wondered why you had me pick it up. I thought she was a hostess.”
“No,” Javier said with resolve. He’d read the notes she’d made in her grandmother’s cookbook. She was trying, but he thought she was going about it the wrong way. She was trying to simplify the recipes she adored when she needed to train herself how to cook again. “She’s a chef, or she wants to be. She tweaks recipes all the time.”
“She does always have something to say and doesn’t mind saying it,” Chef admitted. “And she’s usually right. I’m with Javi. She’s a chef, but she doesn’t think she can do it. She’s holding herself back and everyone’s treating her like a victim and not what she is.”
“A survivor and a soldier,” Javier finished. He’d thought about it for days. It was where he was going wrong with Rafe. He needed to be tough with his brother. Soft hadn’t worked. Soft had left Rafe a whining needy mess. Starting when Rafe came home, he would get different treatment. “Let’s see it. I want it out in the open when she comes in.”
Eric opened the box and pulled out the custom-made cutting board. It had several different groupings of thin nails sticking up from the surface, perfect for holding whatever she would need to cut in place. She would be able to move the veg easily and clean up in minutes.
“It was the only one in Texas,” Chef said. “We’re lucky it was in Fort Worth.”
“It’s perfect. I’m going to play around with it. I want to know how hard it is.” Javier meant to practice in case she wanted help. Otherwise, he was going to let it sit for a day or two and then start his plan. “Luckily, I’m surrounded by dudes who can tie a hand down.”
Eric grinned. “Yeah, I think that won’t be a problem.” He sobered slightly. “This is a lot of trouble to go through for a woman. You’re planning on doing this even if she doesn’t want you?”
“Her wanting me or not doesn’t change how I feel about her.” Hell, doing this might make her hate him. It might not work. What did he know about getting stubborn women to come to their senses? He’d been looking through the Internet at videos showing how to use a knife with one hand. How to cook with one hand.
She’d helped him, tried to help Rafe. How could he not do the same for her?
Eric reached over and selected an onion from the basket they had. He held it out. “Then you’re ready. I’ll make sure Cal understands. Let’s give it a try.”
He glanced up at the clock. He had about three hours before she showed up. That would give him practice time. He held up his left hand. “Let’s tie this sucker down.”
Chef already had rope in his hand. He was always prepared. “Nope. Other hand. She’s doing this with her non-dominant hand. We will, too.”
Damn. He put his right hand behind his back. This was going to be rough.
But worth it if it got him the girl.
* * * *
Jules stepped out of the locker room and nearly walked straight into Ally. She gasped and jumped back, her arm knocking against the door.
Ally’s eyes went wide and she reached out. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you. Are you okay?”
Jules held up her prosthetic. “This one’s hard to hurt. I’m good.”
As good as she could be when she was kind of a mess. She’d screwed up with Javier. He’d been nice and polite and she’d practically run the other way. It was the invitation that had gotten to her. She’d had a smile on her face the rest of the time, trying to settle into being cool around the guy who’d blown her mind. She’d been ready for him to ask her to keep their night together on the down low. Sure, she was going to say. Wouldn’t have it any other way.
He’d asked if she wanted to spend the evening with him.
That was when she’d run and hid and felt like a moron because she’d found his shirt and she’d slept in it. Who left his shirt behind? Had he just walked around all day without a shirt on? That would have been really nice to see. She could be down with that.
Dumbass. She was such a dumbass.
Ally gave her a smile. “Sorry. I was coming to find you. You’re wanted in Chef’s office.”
That sounded bad. Chef barely spoke to her. She got all her orders from Grace, who ran the front of house and generally kept things moving smoothly while her husband ran the kitchen. “Okay. Now? I haven’t updated the menus yet.”
“He said now.” Ally’s look changed to obvious sympathy. “I wouldn’t make him wait. He’s in a mood. Never quite seen him that serious.”
Was she about to lose her job? Because she’d slept with Javi? Now that she thought about it, the waitresses he’d slept with were all gone. She didn’t think they got fired, and they hadn’t left right after they’d spent the night with the sous chef, but they were gone.
Because it was way easier to find a hostess than a talented chef. She was expendable and Javier wasn’t. But she hadn’t been planning on causing trouble. Why should she get fired?
She looked at the door and then back to the kitchen.
Maybe she should have taken him up on that dinner invitation. Maybe if she’d slept with him again, she might have gotten a couple more weeks of employment out of it.
Did Javier think she was going to make this easy on him? Did he think she would go into Sean Taggart’s office and let Chef do the dirty work for him? If she’d become inconvenient to Javier, then she would show him exactly how fucking inconvenient she could be.
“Uh, Jules, that’s not the way to the office,” Ally said, sounding uncertain.
“That’s because I’m not talking to Chef.” Anger thrummed through her system. She didn’t do this. She wasn’t this crazy-ass bitch. When her husband had told her he wanted a divorce, she’d nodded and then they’d calmly made plans to find a lawyer and get it done.
So why did she suddenly want to pick up a baseball bat and let Javier know he couldn’t get rid of her without a fight?
She shoved through the double doors that led to the kitchen, her blood pounding through her body. It kind of felt good. Like she’d been sleeping for a long time and now she was vibrantly awake. She would sue them all. She would take the place down.
It was a little like what she’d felt the other night in Javier’s arms. Awake and alive.
And angry. Super fucking angry.
“Javier!” She shouted his name because he needed to know that she was coming and she wasn’t going quietly into Chef’s office to let some other man handle their business. “Get out here, you fucking coward.”
Mark, one of the line chefs, looked up from where he’d been seasoning the short ribs. “Uh, Jules, you okay?”
“I will be once one of you hauls Javier out here for me.” Where the hell was he hiding? “If he thinks I’m going to slink away like one of his pathetic, no-last-name hookups, he needs to think again. And if he’s been talking locker room shit about me with you guys, well, you’re just as bad as him.”
All of their eyes were on her. The kitchen always hummed with activity, but now it was perfectly silent because no one was interested in anything except the crazy lady in their midst.
Macon seemed to have stopped mid ice. He held a pastry bag in his hand, several delicate-looking cakes in various states of decoration. “Jules, should I call Kai?”
Because everyone here shared a damn therapist. She would lose her therapist and her job and she would have to find new friends. It wasn’t fair and she’d realized how uncool she was with not fucking fair. Her life hadn’t been fair. Had it been fair that she lost her hand and her husband and her dreams? Was it fair her mom had chosen her career over her daughter?
So one damn thing could be fair.
“Why would you call Kai, Macon? Because I’m upset? Because a woman gets angry that she’s not being treated with some form of kindness? Does that make me crazy? Because I don’t feel crazy. I feel pissed and I’m pissed at Javier. But I could be pissed at you. Do you want me to be pissed at you, Macon?”
Macon’s eyes went wide. “No, ma’am.”
Declan Burke was leaning against one of the prep tables. The big bodyguard had been hanging around for weeks prepping for the show coming up soon. “See, now that’s crazy eyes. If anyone has not seen them before, that’s what they look like. Javier’s in trouble.”
She was sick of this. “Where is he?”
A familiar form peeled away from the shadows at the back of the kitchen. “Well, last I heard, he was hanging out in my office hoping to talk to you.”
Jules went still and felt her whole body become one big old embarrassed flame. She had to be bright red because Chef Taggart was standing in front of her, an amused expression on his face. “I thought you were in your office.”
He wiped his hands dry with a dishcloth and shoved it back into the pocket of the knee-length apron he wore. “Nope. We don’t have anything to talk about. Unless there’s something I don’t know about. Has Javier been doing something he shouldn’t? Has he been harassing you?”
She shook her head quickly. She wasn’t sure what was happening, but she’d obviously made an enormous mistake. “No, sir. Not at all. He’s very nice to me. Uhm, I was playing a joke on him. You know how sometimes crazy women show up and want to yell at Javier.”
Chef couldn’t quite hide his amusement. “No. That hasn’t happened often.”
“Sometimes women at nightclubs slap him because he forgets he already met them and tries to hook up with them again,” Macon allowed.
“That hasn’t happened in forever,” a familiar voice said.
She turned and Javier was standing in the doorway, a concerned look on his face.
“Let’s give them a moment,” Chef said. “Make it fast, you two. Those ribs won’t braise themselves.”
She watched as one by one the men strode out of the kitchen. Javier was standing by the doors, his arms crossed over his black chef jacket. Something about him in that uniform did it for her, but he was staring at her like she’d grown two heads.
And she kind of had. What had she been thinking? She wasn’t the girl who lost it like that.
“Juliana, I asked to speak with you in the office. Is there a reason you were looking for me in here?”
Wow, she’d never heard him sound so serious unless he was yelling at the line chefs for burning a sauce or something. Javier always sounded like he was having a good time. Not now. His voice had gone dark and deep and she didn’t like the fact that the impulse was right there to walk up to him and try to soothe him. That wasn’t her place. She needed to tell him the truth. They would laugh about what a lunatic she was and move on. It was the only way out of this.
“I’m sorry. I thought Chef wanted to talk to me.” Ally hadn’t mentioned it was Javier. She’d merely told Jules she was wanted in the office.
“Why would Chef want to talk to you?”
She tried to smile, to brush the whole thing off. “Honestly, this is the craziest thing, Javier. For a minute, I thought he was going to fire me.”
Javier’s face went blank, as though he was trying to figure out what she meant, and then a look passed there that could only be described as pain. His eyes closed and when he opened them he looked deeply disappointed. “You thought I asked Chef to fire you? That’s why you came looking for me. You were angry because I was going to have you dismissed. Tell me something, Juliana. Was I doing it because we slept together and I’m the bastard who doesn’t want to deal with a woman I’ve already had? Or because I’m the bastard who can’t handle a woman rejecting him?”
Her stomach did a deep dive because never in a million years had she thought he would be hurt. He was a good-time guy. He laughed everything off. “I know you slept with a couple of other people from the front of house and they’re gone. It was stupid, but it was the first thing that crossed my mind.”
Because deep down she’d known something bad would happen. It had to because it had felt good to be with him. Something had to be wrong.
“Jen left because she went back to college. Melinda took a job in Fort Worth after she met her fiancé. I introduced them, by the way. They were lovely women. Why would I hurt them?” He straightened up, as though steeling himself. “I called you into the office because I wanted you to know that I would act professionally around you here at work, but I needed to ask you why you blew me off last night. I thought it was because you didn’t understand that I meant what I said that night we spent together. You’re different. I want to spend time with you. I want to try with you. That’s what I meant to say. But I suspect that wouldn’t have gone well for me.”
This was what mortification felt like. He wanted to try with her? Try a relationship with him? With a big gorgeous god of a man who could cook? “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize you felt that way.”
He shook his head. “But I told you how I felt. We talked about it that night. I told you how different you were.”
But they hadn’t talked about it. He’d said things and she’d jumped to conclusions because she’d known she couldn’t believe him. All of Kai’s words were coming back to haunt her. They hadn’t talked at all. They hadn’t told each other what they wanted or needed because she’d thought it was merely a good time.
“I thought that was a line. The part about me being different. I figured you told every woman that.” How could this be happening? Every word that came out of her mouth damned her further. “If it helps I thought it was a good line.”
He laughed but it was a bitter sound. “No. That doesn’t help. Let’s go over who I am in your head. I’m a player who’ll say anything to get in a woman’s bed, and after I’m there I get rid of them so I…what? Don’t have to look at them anymore? Or am I trying to bring in some piece of ass I can use? Which one is it, Jules?”
“I didn’t say that. Not that way.” But she’d thought it. Deep down, she’d thought it even as he was being nice to her. She’d thought that the only reason a man as gorgeous as him would want her is because he’d fuck anyone.
She needed way more therapy.
He moved closer to her and it took everything she had not to back up. “What way did you say it then?”
She forced herself to look into his eyes. He was so close now she could feel the heat coming off of him. “I didn’t say anything. I was upset. I will admit that I obviously didn’t think our encounter was what you think it was. We weren’t on the same page.”
“Our encounter? I made love to you. Three times that night. I worshipped your body and you call it an encounter?”
She couldn’t look at him. He was too gorgeous, too upset with her. She glanced down at his chest. Even though she knew she should walk away, she couldn’t seem to find the will. She’d made an idiot of herself over this man and she wanted a few answers. “What would you call it?”
“Life changing, but I’m obviously the only one.” He reached out and brought her chin up. “So that was nothing but a random hookup for you?”
“I told you I don’t like storms. I needed a distraction.”
“So you would have slept with anyone who had knocked on your door?” Javier asked.
“Of course not. I wouldn’t have slept with anyone but you. I knew it wouldn’t mean anything with you.”
“Except it did mean something to me.” He stepped back. “So you used me as some kind of distraction.”
That sounded utterly ridiculous. “Damn it, Javier. Don’t act like some shrinking virgin who just had his innocence stolen. How many women have you slept with?”
He threw his hands up, his irritation obvious. “Why should that matter? All of that was before I met you. All that should matter now is how I act around you, how I treat you. I get it. I fucked up. I wanted you and I was so eager to have you I didn’t think for a single second that you didn’t want me the same way.”
“I did want you.” She couldn’t argue with that. She still wanted him. Desperately. She thought about him constantly, but she knew it wouldn’t work.
“You wanted me for sex,” he corrected. “I wanted you. All of you.”
“You don’t know me.”
He stared at her for a moment. “I don’t know you? I know way more than you think I do. I know you’re more self-conscious about that arm than you want anyone to see. I know there’s zero reason to be because you’re amazing and kind and smart. You help the people around you even when they don’t deserve it. You like classic rock. You dance a little when it comes on before or after hours. You love to cook, but you don’t do it anymore. That doesn’t stop you from telling everyone else how to do it though because your mind is always working, always thinking about the dish. It’s why you chose to work in a restaurant. You can’t stay away from it.”
How had he seen so much? She hadn’t realized he was watching her at all. She’d thought she was convenient. “There’s a lot you don’t know about me. You don’t know my history.”
Those gorgeous dark eyes of his rolled. “About your mom? Everyone knows that, Jules, and no one gives a shit. I don’t watch her shows and I don’t read her books. I don’t care where you came from. I only care that you’re here. And let’s see what you know about me. You know I’m an asshole who fucks around. That means I couldn’t possibly have feelings.”
“Again, not what I said.” And yet, somewhere deep down, hadn’t that been what she’d thought? Hadn’t she thought he was safe because he wasn’t the kind of man who would want anything more than sex from her?
“Do you want to know the crazy thing? I still want you. Even knowing how you feel about me, I want you. After work, do you want to get together and fuck? Tonight’s the night. I won’t be able to for the rest of the week. I’ve got Rafe coming home and I need to stay at my place.”
Her first instinct? Yes. Yes, she would like that very much. If he hadn’t said all the other stuff, she would likely jump right into his bed. If she thought for a second they could keep this thing physical, she would, but he’d blown that out of the water. “Oh, Javi, that’s not a good idea.”
“So you had enough of me after one night?”
He needed to stop putting words in her mouth. “I can’t tell you how much I needed that night.”
His lips curled up faintly. “It was good.”
“It was incredible. But we work together. It’s not a good idea to get involved with people you work with.”
“Ah, that’s the argument. Kind of hard to use that here. Macon and Ally are married. Sebastian and Tiff are, too. Hell, Grace and Sean are married. We’re just going to be fuck buddies so there’s nothing to be worried about. I’m a big boy. Yeah, I was hurt, but now I know the score. You want sex. I want sex. We could have sex together. We live close and now we know to keep those pesky emotions out of the way. I’ll be your coworker here and when we get home, if you’ve got an itch, I’ll scratch it.”
She hated how transactional the words sounded. “That sounds horrible.”
“You got any better ideas because I can’t get you out of my head. I wanted to date you, but I don’t think that’s in your plans.”
None of this was in her plans. “I don’t know what to do.”
His face softened and he moved in close again. “Do what you want, Jules. Stop overthinking things and do what you want. You know where I am. If you want me, come and get me. I promise I won’t even stay over. You won’t have to kick me out in the morning.”
For a second she thought he was going to kiss her. She started to go up on her toes because when he kissed her, she didn’t think about anything but being with him. The world floated away and she needed that in the moment.
He stepped back. “I need to let the others back in or the ribs will dry out. Know that I would never affect your job. Whether or not you ever knock on my door again. I care about you. That doesn’t change because you can’t feel the same way about me. And be careful around the new cutting board. Those spikes are sharp as shit.”
She glanced down and saw what he was talking about. It was a modified cutting board. She’d seen them on the Internet, but this was like the Cadillac of one-handed friendly tools. “Why do you have this?”
“I have a new chef coming in a few weeks. We’re shuffling around a bit. He’s got one hand, lost it during his service. I want to make things as easy on him as possible. Tried it myself. It’s a pain in the ass, but I think with practice, he’ll like it.”
“You tried it?” She ran her fingers over the board. It was expertly crafted. It came in three parts; one seemed to detach. The better to scrape the cut veg into a container or the pan with one hand.
“I had Chef tie my hand down. It was rough. I’m shitty at it. I bet the new guy is phenomenal. Apparently he practices all the time. We’re lucky to get him.” He walked over to the door. “I’m sorry for the confusion, Jules. I’ll explain to everyone that it was all my fault. Hell, they’ll believe that.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
He sighed, a tired sound that made her want to hug him. “We better get to work. And Jules, if you want to play around with that, feel free. I don’t know how the new guy will feel about you using it after he gets here. You know how chefs can be possessive assholes about certain things. Especially the unique tools. They get it into their heads they’re the only ones who can properly use something and they get pissy about anyone else touching it.”
She turned to him. He was being nice and she’d been a complete bitch. What the hell was she supposed to do? “Javi, maybe we should…”
But the doors had come open and the crew was filing in.
“Thank god, the drama is over,” Macon said. “You two work it all out? When’s the wedding?”
Sometimes her coworkers were assholes.
“We’re cool,” Javier said “It was entirely a misunderstanding on my part. I apologized and we’re moving on.”
“Ah, so there’s more drama coming.” Macon shook his head and went back to making icing roses on his tiny cakes.
Javier went to his station and started pulling down a pan.
She wanted to talk to him, wanted to start the whole afternoon over. Maybe start the last few days over.
And do what? Fall into his arms? Pretend like they could really work?
She was ready to wade into the pool, not dive into the deep end.
And if that means the right one gets away? Because you were too scared? Because you decide when the time is right? It didn’t work with Kevin so it wouldn’t work with anyone?
As alive as she’d felt when she’d walked in, she felt dreary now. All those colors had gone back to gray and she wasn’t sure what she should do.
She walked out of the kitchen and wished she’d never walked in. Naturally that was the moment Chef came out of his office and made a beeline in her direction.
“Here are the menus.” Chef Taggart handed them over. “And if you could go over the reservations for the concert night dinner, I would appreciate it. We’ve got some bigwigs coming in. Apparently Wade Rycroft knows this singer, or at least she’s a friend of a friend. He and Declan will be here for security. We need to plan on that, too.”
Work. She needed to concentrate on work. “Of course.”
Just when she thought Chef would dismiss her, let her go back to work, he frowned her way. “You really thought I would fire you? Because you slept with one of my line chefs? I’ve had a couple who were so wound up, I’ve offered to find hookers for them. There have been times I would have begged someone to sleep with those idiots. And if I fired everyone who slept with a coworker, I wouldn’t have a staff. I swear the only place that’s worse is my brother’s office.”
Another blush went through her. “I don’t know what I thought. I couldn’t think of another reason why you would call me into your office and I lost it.”
“But you didn’t lose it to me. It wasn’t me you were shouting for. You went after Javier,” Chef pointed out. “You went after him like a woman scorned, and I happen to know the man hasn’t scorned you. It was enlightening. You got a strong streak of crazy bitch in there, O’Neil. It’s good to know. I was worried about you for a while, but you let crazy bitch out enough and you’ll be fine.”
She was incredibly confused. “I disrupted your dinner prep. I still can’t believe I did that.”
“Yeah, you did. Think about that and why you did it and maybe you’ll figure a few things out.” He turned and went back into the kitchen.
The doors swung closed, but not before she caught a glimpse of Javi. He was starting a sauce of some kind, his face so serious. Everyone around him was joking, but he looked sad.
And that cutting board. She saw that, too.
She wasn’t sure she would be able to stop thinking about either one of them.
Jules turned and found Tiffany and Ally watching her.
“You need to tell us that story. We can’t stand it when the chefs know more than we do,” Tiffany said.
It was going to be a long night.