Javier pushed the wheelchair into his apartment, but not before he’d glanced at Jules’s door. She hadn’t shown up the night before. She hadn’t even stayed for family supper. She’d been gone before he’d cleaned his station.
“The place doesn’t look too bad,” Rafe said as the door closed. “I thought you said someone trashed it.”
Javier locked the door. “Someone did trash it. I have no idea why since they didn’t take anything. I thought maybe some kids had gone around taking advantage of the storm to be little assholes, but from what I can tell I was the only apartment that got hit.”
“You probably forgot to lock the door.”
“I locked the door. I had a friend come out and look at the place. He thinks whoever broke in was looking for something.” He didn’t want to get into this with Rafe, but he had to. “Is there any reason someone would want to fuck with you?”
Rafe turned his head. “You’re serious? This is my fault?”
Javier put his hands up, trying to stave off a heated conflict. “Not your fault. I was asking if anyone’s threatened you. You’re kind of an asshole now and you piss people off.”
“Well, if they were pissed at me, shouldn’t they have done something more than toss the furniture? It was probably kids looking for drugs. You see someone like me wheeling around like a pathetic chump and you know that’s the dude who has the good drugs,” Rafe reasoned.
The bathroom had been trashed. It was a logical conclusion. Besides, what else could he do about it? Brighton hadn’t found anything. Nothing had been stolen. Because the security cameras had been out, there was no way to even track who’d come in and out of the complex. It seemed to be one of those crappy things that happened when you didn’t live in a high-tech building.
He’d gotten permission to put in a better deadbolt. Jules would find she had permission as well.
“Speaking of, you get my meds?” Rafe’s chair squeaked as he moved into the living room.
Javier had already stopped at the pharmacy. “I got them. I’ll bring them to you in the morning. The doctor said he gave you everything you’re supposed to take until morning.”
Rafe’s face tightened. “Doc doesn’t know how much everything fucking hurts. I just went through surgery. You would think since I don’t have any fucking legs I would hurt less.”
“You went through surgery and you’ve had the pain medication the doctor prescribed. I’m not going to double dose you. The doc says if you would try to use what’s left of your legs more, they would get strong and hurt less.”
Rafe’s head dropped back. “Stop telling me what the doctor says. I don’t care what any of them say. They don’t have to deal with those fucking prosthetics.” His head came back up and he managed to wheel himself around to face Javier. “Did Sonja call?”
At least Rafe was asking about his wife. Ex-wife. It was still hard to think about her that way. He called her at least once a week to make sure she and his niece were all right. “I talked to her yesterday. She’s doing all right. She got a new job.”
Rafe’s head came up, more interested in that information than he’d been in anything since Javier had picked him up. “Where is she working?”
It was the one bit of good news she’d had in a while. She’d seemed excited about it on the phone, a sparkle in her voice that had only died when she’d politely asked about Rafe. “She’s at a law firm in Dallas. O’Malley and Taylor. It’s a firm that specializes in corporate law. You know she finished her paralegal training after all these years.”
He’d asked Sean if he knew any lawyers and soon Sonja had an interview. O’Malley and Taylor represented a large investment group Big Tag was a member of called the Masters Fund—run by the same man who was trying to poach Sean’s chef—and Barnes and Fleetwood, a cattle rancher conglomerate. Sonja seemed to enjoy her new job and it paid well.
“Yeah, no thanks to me.” Rafe sighed. “So she’s working with a bunch of lawyers. You know if she’s dating?”
Another subject he was careful to avoid. “Why do you care, man?”
“She’s my wife.”
“Ex-wife. You did that. You shoved her away.” Javier moved to the kitchen. It was getting late and the nurse would be here soon. She was taking the night shift while Rafe recovered from surgery. “Do you want something to eat? I have to leave for work as soon as the nurse shows up and I won’t be back until late.”
“Not hungry.” He was quiet for a moment. “I still love her. I never stopped loving her.”
“Then why were you so awful to her?”
“Do you know what it’s like to be someone one minute and in the next you’re an entirely different human being, and you can’t go back?” He pointed to the mantel over the fireplace where Javier kept pictures. There were framed shots of his mom and dad, some of he and Rafe as kids, a few of his niece, one of the original team at Top on the day the restaurant opened. But Rafe was pointing to the one of he and Sonja on their wedding day. Happy, shiny kids with their whole lives ahead of them. “I fucking hate that picture. I want you to burn it.”
“I’ll take it down if you want, but I’m not going to burn it. I love that picture. It reminds me of my brother.”
A bitter laugh huffed from Rafe’s mouth. “Yeah, the dead one because I’m not him, right?”
“Just shut up, Rafe. I don’t want to have this conversation with you.” He’d been avoiding it ever since Rafe had shown up on his doorstep.
“Because I’m not all content with life the way your one-armed girl is?” The question came out on a nasty huff. “You think I don’t see how you look at her? She’s always coming up to me when we’re at PT and trying to be all sweetness and light. I see through her.”
“Don’t fucking talk about Jules.”
Rafe smirked as though he knew he had him now. “I can talk about Jules all day, brother. I know her far better than you. I bet you buy her calm exterior. I bet you think she’s really that content.”
“I don’t think she’s content at all. I think she pretends and pretends, and I don’t know how to make her stop and be real with me.”
Rafe went still, his eyes focused for the first time in what felt like forever. “You like her.”
He shouldn’t have taken the bait. He should have kept his mouth shut. Rafe was toxic and tried to poison everything he touched. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He started to move around his brother, but Rafe’s hand shot out, holding his arm fast.
“I didn’t realize you gave a shit about her. I’m sorry. She’s a nice lady. I talk to her a lot, but you have to get that she’s fucked up like me. She’s not as cool as she seems to be. She’s just way better at hiding it than I am.”
“She doesn’t push everyone away the way you do.” Just him, and maybe he deserved it.
“I don’t know about that. I think she would only push away the people who could hurt her. I’m sorry. I don’t mean to make you feel like shit if she’s close to you. Maybe she does like you. What do I know? I’m an idiot.”
“You didn’t used to be. You were the smartest guy I knew. You were the guy I went to when I needed advice. I need it now. I care about her. I…I’m really into Jules. Like I’ve never been into anyone before.”
Rafe’s eyes locked with his. “Don’t. Let that one go because she’s never going to want you. Not that she won’t desire you, but she won’t be with you. Never, man.”
“Why? Because she sees me as some walking venereal disease?”
“No,” Rafe replied. “Because she sees you as what she could have been. Like I said, I’ve talked to her a lot. She views you as everything she could have had, and she won’t ever be able to forgive you for it.”
Javi’s knees felt weak because he realized what Rafe was saying. “Is that what happened with you and Sonja? You see her as what you could have been?”
He was quiet for a moment, but when he finally spoke, the words felt tortured. “I went into the military so I could go to school. You know that. Pops didn’t have enough saved up for the education I needed. Sonja and I sat down and decided on how to get where we wanted to be. We decided on the military. I wanted to be a fucking lawyer. Isn’t that rich? I should have taken the money Pops had and become a damn plumber. At least I’d have my legs. Who listens to a lawyer in a fucking wheelchair? How can I be anything when I can’t walk? I can’t get myself anywhere. I can’t do anything for my damn self. But Sonja…oh, she can do it all.”
He’d heard this argument from his brother a hundred times when he was drunk. “Because she’s a badass bitch who doesn’t let anything stand in her way. She does what needs to be done and she doesn’t complain about it.”
“Yeah? Well, she’s never had to lose her legs.”
Javier knew it was time to walk away, but he couldn’t stop himself from arguing. “She lost her husband. She lost the love of her life and got back this whining, sad-sack baby who won’t even try to live. Don’t you dare say she’s had it easy. She’s raised a child without you. She lost you and you’re still sitting here. And there are plenty of lawyers in wheelchairs. You lost your legs, not your brain. And don’t think for a second I’m going to lose Jules the same way. I won’t stop. She thinks I’m something she can’t be. I’ll prove to her otherwise.”
“You’ll lose. She’s lost. She can smile and shit, but she’s exactly like the rest of us,” Rafe spat out. “She should have died. It would have been a kindness.”
“Fuck you. Start thinking about where else you can go because I’m not going to let you stay here if you can say that.” Javi’d had enough. He turned and walked back out the front door and into the hallway. He couldn’t look at whatever devil now inhabited Rafe’s skin. That thing lived to sow chaos, to see the people around him miserable.
He put his back to the wall and let himself sink to the floor. What the fuck was he going to do?
He couldn’t put his brother out on the street.
He let his head drift to his hand, misery welling inside him. He’d loved his brother. How did he deal with who his brother had become?
Was Rafe right about Juliana? Was there some festering sore deep inside her that couldn’t be fixed? Was he setting himself up for heartache?
“Javi?”
He looked up and she was standing there, a watery vision in the hallway.
She dropped the grocery bag she was holding and sank down beside him, her arm going around his shoulders. “Rafe’s back, then?”
He couldn’t even answer her, merely let himself sag against her.
“I’m sorry, Javi. He doesn’t mean half of what he says. He feels bad so he’s mean to the people he cares about, the ones he knows won’t go away, and even some of them leave him,” she whispered. “I’m sorry.”
He wasn’t sure what she was apologizing for, but he welcomed her warmth. She wasn’t lost. Even in her pain and fumbling, she was kind. She wanted to be loved. She simply wasn’t sure how to ask for it, and he was a fool who didn’t know what he was doing either. Jules deserved better than him.
They sat there for a while, her arm around him, their heads touching.
“Should I give up on you?” Javier asked.
She was silent and he thought she would stand up and walk away, but then her hand slid over his, tangling their fingers together. “I would rather you didn’t.”
She went silent again and he was content to sit with her hand in his.
* * * *
“You need to rethink this. Come on, give it a shot. It’s fun.” Deena grinned as she put the finishing touches on her makeup for the evening. “We’ve been having this party once a month ever since we bought the house. I know we could go to Sanctum and we do, but sometimes it’s fun to not have to make the drive. We keep everything pretty casual.”
“This does not feel casual.” Jules squirmed as Kori pulled on the laces of the emerald green corset they’d selected for this venture. It looked gorgeous on the mannequin, but then the mannequin didn’t have nerves and skin, and no one had tied her in like a sausage roll. Her only other clothing? A tiny little matching thong. “And you did get the part where I’m probably not going to stay very long.”
“Don’t be such a baby,” Kori said as she tightened the laces again. “You look gorgeous.”
“But I’m going to tell the guy Kai assigned me to that I changed my mind,” she complained. “Shouldn’t I do that in street clothes? Won’t this give him the wrong idea?”
Ally looked up from the vanity she was sitting at. Apparently on play party nights, Deena turned the Master bedroom into the women’s locker room. “Why are you copping out on him again?”
“Because she’s scared,” Deena shot back.
“I am not.” She was, but not as scared as she’d been before. “It doesn’t feel right.”
“I think it’s because she loves therapy,” Kori explained. “She can’t stand the thought of missing out on a session with my man. He’ll do that to you. You get addicted to the way he adjusts his glasses.”
She had to smile. “That’s it. I can’t go a week without opening my heart and soul to Kai.”
Tiffany looked perfect in her leather catsuit, her long legs well defined. “I think she doesn’t want to hurt Javi’s feelings. Or she doesn’t want to watch Javier scene with another chick.”
The idea kind of turned her stomach. “I’m very confused when it comes to Javier, and that means I should take a step back.”
Don’t rush into something, baby girl. Give it time and think about what you want and what’s the best way to achieve your goal. Talk to me. I’ll help you make a plan.
Yeah, she couldn’t talk to her mom anymore, but slowing down still seemed like a good thing to do. When she’d found Javier sitting in the hallway, she hadn’t even hesitated. There had been no question in her head that she would walk by. She’d done what felt right. She’d gotten down on the floor with him and offered him comfort.
And when he’d asked about giving up on her, she hadn’t been able to take the out.
“What’s confusing about Javi?” Deena asked. “He’s totally upfront.”
Ally frowned her friend’s way. “I don’t know about that. He’s being kind of sneaky with her. I think it means he likes her. Like like likes her.”
Tiffany shook her head. “Don’t listen to Ally. She eats way too much sugar. What she’s trying to say is that Javier has never been serious about a woman before and might never be again. He’s an honest guy. If he tells you something, you can believe him.”
Like saying she was special. “And if I’m not ready?”
The last woman in the room stood up and smoothed down her long dark hair. Sarah Stevens looked at herself in the mirror. “Then you should be prepared to make yourself ready or lose the right one forever because the right one doesn’t always sit at home pining for you and hoping you’ll change your mind. She doesn’t sit around watching your television show and eating ice cream and dreaming about your abs. She goes and finds newer, more attentive abs, abs that are prepared to accept the affection you have to give them.”
Sarah walked out, her heels clicking on the floor.
“Javier doesn’t have a TV show,” Jules said, looking to Kori for more information.
“See, Sarah started out with the right idea and then veered totally off into personal territory,” Kori said with a sigh. “Don’t mind her. She’s dealing with the fact that her right guy wasn’t ready when she was.”
“I heard a rumor that she had a thing for an actor,” Ally said.
“Kai’s brother. He used to be on TV. He’s been floating around since the end of the show. I hoped he would come home, but he’s having trouble trusting people,” Kori said. “And I think he’ll lose her over it. I think it’s there in the back of his mind that she’ll be waiting for him when he’s ready, but Sarah is not one to sit around and hope a guy comes to his senses. She’s moved on. She started dating a doctor she met at work. He’s an asshat. I hate him and I’m pretty sure one of these days he’s going to ask her to marry him and she’s going to say yes.”
“People can’t help bad timing.” Wasn’t that what was going on with Javier? Bad timing. She wasn’t ready. He was.
Would she be ready if he had any other job? If he wasn’t so damn good at the one he had? If he was an accountant, would she have jumped in with both feet?
Was she torturing herself by working at Top? By staying close to what she wanted? How was she going to feel when the one-handed chef came in? What the hell was that about? What kind of experience did that guy have? Had he grown up in kitchens?
She forced the thought back as she had been for doing for days.
“The timing is always bad,” Tiffany said. “That’s life. There’s always some reason to say no. The key is not being able to. It’s about finding that one man who you can’t say no to because he’s wormed his way into your heart. Sebastian didn’t think it was the right time either. I convinced him. And Kori got over her fear of the man bun and now she and Kai are very happy.”
“His man bun is sexy,” Kori advised. “If I don’t say that he won’t whip me tonight, and this girl needs some serious relaxation.” She finished up and turned Jules toward the mirror. “There you go. Now you look amazing and you’ll properly honor the dude you’re turning down for the night.”
Yeah. She would honor him with her boobs. Her boobs looked awesome. The emerald made her skin glow. It was perfectly creamy and smooth right to the point where her prosthetic was attached.
Deena stepped in front of her, reaching for her hand, the fake one. She held it like it still had feeling. “If he can’t see how gorgeous you are, he doesn’t deserve you.”
Ally moved in beside her. “It took forever to convince Macon he should wear shorts and show off how intensely hot his body is, but I managed it. You’re beautiful, Jules.”
“No one out there will think anything less,” Tiffany promised. “And if they do, we’ll weed ’em out. This whole party is about having fun and accepting who we are. There’s no one way to be beautiful. So show them your way.”
Her way. She looked at herself again. She was good at pretending to be cool with her life. But what was really unattractive about her arm? It wasn’t normal, but it worked. Not as well as it had, but she could be independent.
Adaptation. That word kept playing through her head.
“Is Javier here tonight?” She’d intended to speak to the Dom Kai had selected to be her guide and then head home. She needed time to think about what she wanted. To carefully lay out all the options. The last time she’d done something without planning, she’d ended up in the Navy, and where had that gotten her?
It had gotten her to a place where she could save five lives. Would she let those lives go to save her hand?
Was there ever a right time for anything? A right time? A right place? A right man?
“I saw his truck pull up,” Tiffany replied.
Deena winced. “I hope he’s ready because Kristy came tonight, too, and I think she’s decided he’s still her best bet. Sorry, guys. She’s close friends with Eric’s sous chef’s sub, and we’re desperately trying to keep him.”
“Damn,” Ally swore. “I’ll go and run interference.”
“Interference?” Jules asked.
Tiffany stood to go with Ally. “Kristy can be very aggressive and Javier…well, when he’s not attached…I don’t think I’ve ever seen him attached. He tends to take whatever’s offered, if you know what I mean.”
She shook her head. “Not with that one. She walked out on him when he needed her. He won’t be going back to her. Not even for sex.”
Deena looked a bit uncertain. “I’m glad you believe in him.”
The guys liked to bet. Maybe it was time she did show some faith in him. “Twenty bucks says he turns her down flat.”
Deena’s eyes narrowed. “I don’t know if taking that bet makes me a bad person, but I’m in. Especially if it means you stay for a bit.”
There was the trap and she’d walked right into it. But then maybe she’d wanted to. Kai wanted her to do one thing that scared her. Well, nothing scared her quite like Javier.
“Don’t bother running interference. Javier can handle that woman,” she said. “And someone help me get my arm off. I don’t need it tonight.”
She didn’t like the way the suspension system looked. It wasn’t that it was ugly, merely that she thought her skin was prettier.
“You don’t have to do that,” Kori said. “I’m telling you no one minds here.”
Jules was sure Kristy minded, but she would mind the stump, too. It wasn’t about that. “I don’t need it tonight. I’m going to ask Javier to show me around and he’ll take care of me. It will be nice to depend on someone else for a night.”
Kori’s lips curled up. “That is an excellent reason to dump the arm. And you are playing Xbox this week.”
Ten minutes later she walked out into the large living area and couldn’t help but gawk like the tourist she was. “It’s really pretty.”
Deena stayed close to her side. “Not what you expected, huh?”
“It’s not very dungeon like.” The room had been done in multicolored twinkle lights. All the furniture had been rearranged and covered in what looked like incredibly soft blankets. There were already couples relaxing and talking quietly.
“The dining room is much more of a scene space,” she agreed. “And then there’s our actual playroom, where most of the scenes will happen. I’ve got a violet wand set up in one of the guest bedrooms, and there are a couple of spanking benches. The kitchen has a nice buffet and wine and beer, but be careful. If Eric thinks someone’s playing drunk, he’ll take care of that pretty damn quick.”
Kai stepped out of the kitchen and smiled her way. “You look lovely tonight, Jules. I’m happy to see you here. I think I saw Cal in the dining room. Let me introduce the two of you.”
“Cal is not needed this evening,” a familiar voice said.
She turned and her mouth nearly dropped open. Javier was standing there dressed in a pair of jeans that molded to his every muscle and nothing else. His chest was on full display and it was stunning. She’d seen it before, but she hadn’t had the real chance to simply stare at him.
“Someone has to walk her around,” Kai said, eyeing Javi, though she was fairly certain it wasn’t with the same amount of lust she had. “Are you planning on handling those duties tonight?”
“I will.” He turned toward her. His hand came out, seeking to shake hers. She put out her good hand, but Javier was too quick. He reached straight for her left arm and brought her stump to his lips.
That man knew how to get to her. “So you got rid of my mentor for the night?”
“I am giving you an alternative,” he promised. “And I swear, I’ll keep my hands to myself. I’ll be a good mentor and I’ll even drive you home. I’ll answer your every question and behave myself.”
She could barely breathe. How had she thought she could stay away from him? Why would she want to stay away from him?
Oh, yeah, there was the whole danger to her heart and well-being, but somehow she couldn’t think about that in the moment. All she could see was his chest and abs. Sarah had talked about finding a nice set of abs to settle down with for the night and that suddenly seemed like a brilliant idea.
“Jules?” Kai was staring at her expectantly. “Do you accept Javier as your mentor for the night? He’s gone through all the training classes. He knows what he’s doing and I trust him. I could go over some of the classes he’s trained in.”
Kori put a hand on her husband’s chest. “Stop teasing her. The drool is totally a sign of acceptance.”
Was she really drooling?
“I can’t help it,” Kai said with a grin that made him look far younger. “Come on, love. Eric’s got a hard point in the garage for suspension play.”
There was no way to miss the light in Kori’s eyes as she let her husband lead her away.
“You two have fun,” Deena said. “I’m going to help Eric in the kitchen and then we’re going to play. See you around.”
“Are you sure it’s all right?” Javier stepped in so she could hear him over the music. It wasn’t loud, but neither was Javier.
She stared up at him. That was one gorgeous man. “You planned this.”
“Yeah. I told Cal I would murder him if he laid hands on you.”
“You were sneaky.” Everything the women had said to her came back full force. Javier was upfront. He didn’t expend energy he didn’t have to. If he wanted a casual hookup, he would find one.
She was difficult. And he was still here.
“I have to be when it comes to you,” he admitted. “But I think you’re going to be worth it. You already are. Did I thank you for sitting with me the day Rafe came home? I swear I never realized how lonely I was until I met you.”
He was going to kill her. “I don’t know that this is the best idea, Javi, but I know I want to try. I can’t seem to not try. Why don’t we take it slow?”
He backed up slightly. “Slow. I can do that.”
“But we could play around with this stuff, right? I mean they call it play for a reason. It’s not super serious.”
“That’s not necessarily true.” He took her hand and led her toward the kitchen. “Come with me. We need to talk before we start the evening.”
She should have known that anything that was Kai-approved would come with a whole lot of talking. She followed Javier as he walked through the double doors that led to the kitchen. It looked like this was a part of the house Eric had either renovated or it was the reason he’d bought the sucker. The kitchen was huge, with a massive island and professional-grade appliances.
She stared at that gleaming six-burner gas stove and then realized it was Javi’s turn to drool. They were dressed for sex, but she and Javier were lusting after an appliance.
“One of these days,” he said with a sigh.
“One of these days,” she replied.
“Now we’re talking, baby. Come here.”
Why had she said that? She didn’t need a six-burner stove. And yet for a second she saw herself standing there, flipping something in a ridiculously perfect pan. She’d been standing next to Javier and they’d worked flawlessly together.
That way lay danger. She was about to say something, draw her hand away from his, but she caught sight of Ian Taggart sitting in the corner. He was dressed in leathers, but his attention was focused on the woman sitting in his lap. His wife was in a corset and thong, but he wasn’t looking at her breasts. Nope. His whole attention was focused on what was in her hand.
“Is that one of Macon’s lemon tarts?” Jules asked quietly.
Javier leaned over to whisper. “Yeah, he made them special for tonight. It keeps Big Tag happy. Last week he sent over a gallon of lemon pudding. I do not want to know what those two did with that. I highly suspect it was nasty.”
Charlotte Taggart took a bite of the tart and then licked her lips.
“Only you, baby,” Big Tag whispered back. It was super sensual, the way they shared the decadent treat. Charlotte held the tart up to her husband’s lips, but at the last second, he pulled her in instead and took her mouth in a ridiculously dominant move.
Just watching them was getting her hot. And she didn’t think Big Tag was all that sexy. Sure he was gorgeous, but he was never serious. He was really serious about kissing his wife.
Javier led her to the backdoor. He tugged her along until she found herself in the backyard. It was small but lovely, with an outdoor kitchen and a ten-foot privacy fence. The light from the small pool illuminated the yard with a blue glow.
“That’s better. If we stayed in the kitchen, I’m fairly certain you would have seen your first hard-core sex scene,” he admitted. “Those two are known for being terrible exhibitionists.”
“They’re going to have sex right there in the kitchen?” She glanced back, oddly wondering if she shouldn’t have watched that.
He sat down on the plush lounge chair. “Yes. They will and they won’t have any shame about it. This is a space where they don’t have to. No one here will think any less of them. It works for them as a couple. They can be lovers in a space like this, not limited to their bedroom. They’ve got three kids. Apparently, that’s hell on a sex life, but they can come here and be crazy lovers for a while. And that’s something I think we should talk about.”
“Being crazy lovers?”
“The fact that we’ve got several relationships going on, and I didn’t think about it when I came to you the first night. I’ll be honest—I didn’t think I would get any further than sitting with you and sharing a bottle of wine and asking you if you wanted to go out with me sometime.”
She let him tug her down beside him and felt a smile cross her face. It was good to know she could be surprising. “Shocked you, huh?”
“I was very happy, but now I realize I gave myself away far too quickly. You view me as a sexual object.”
He sounded so prim, she had to bite back a laugh. “I’m very sorry, Javier. I used you for sex and that was wrong of me.”
He brought her hand to his mouth and kissed her palm. “You know how ridiculous that sounds, but I didn’t like the way you dismissed me the next day. I know I have a reputation, but I have feelings for you. I want a promise that if we decide to sleep together again, you’ll stay in bed with me, wake up with me, spend the morning with me.”
“I promise.” She didn’t like the thought that he had felt used. Even though that’s kind of what she’d done. “But like I said, I’m not sure I’m ready for anything serious.”
Because she was scared and she had to wonder if her fear was going to cost her everything.
“I think we need boundaries,” Javier said. “I’m your boss at work. Not directly, of course, but Chef is giving me more responsibilities, and I might need your help from time to time.”
She wouldn’t mind taking more responsibility for the front of house. No matter what Kai said, she was adapting. She couldn’t cook the way she wanted so she would concentrate on other parts of the industry she loved. “I can handle that.”
“Excellent,” he continued. “We’re friends when we leave work and we can decide what we want to be when we’re here.”
“At Deena’s house?”
“When we’re playing,” he corrected. “When we’re at a party like this or when I bring you to Sanctum.”
“I thought you were holding off taking someone to the big club.”
“I was holding off with Kristy. I’ll take you in a heartbeat. I trust you.” Javier leaned back, relaxing. “So, I want you to think about what you want from me here. It’s okay if all you want is a mentor, but if you’re interested in the lifestyle, let me train you. I’m going to admit that I’m not a full-time top. I enjoy it sexually, but in real life I don’t want anything that’s close to twenty-four seven.”
“I don’t think I would need that kind of top. By the way, who says I’m not a top?”
A sexy grin crossed his face. “Says the man who recently made love to you. My darling, that sex might have been fairly vanilla, but you responded perfectly every time I took control. I want you to think about a specific scenario, and this is one that would take place in the D/s part of our relationship.”
“A scenario?” Jules asked.
“Yes, this is the play part of playing. I enjoy role-play. I want you to imagine that you’re a secretary. My secretary. Unfortunately, you’ve made a terrible mistake that costs the company money. You enter my office, desperate to save your job.”
She wrinkled her nose. “This doesn’t sound particularly sexy.”
“Oh, but that’s because you don’t know where I’m going with it. You see, I’ve been watching you, Miss O’Neil. The way I look at it, I’ve got two choices. I could call the police in and have them take you away or I can decide if it was all merely a mistake. I think the only way I would be able to trust you again is to bind you to me. How do you think I’m going to bind you to me? To tie you so closely to me that I don’t have to worry about you betraying me again?”
Sex. Naturally he would use sex. She could see herself. She would be dressed in a prim business suit, tears in her eyes when he suggested another way out of their problem. “What would you do?”
She wanted to hear him say the words.
“I would sit back in my chair and explain to you that your duties have changed and that means you’ll need a new uniform. Tell me something, Miss O’Neil, are you wearing underwear? Because I don’t think your new duties require those.”
“You’re a pervert, Leones,” she said, but she was feeling the heat.
“Am I? Tell me something else,” he said, his voice low and deep. He leaned in, his mouth close to her ear. “If I ran my hand up your thigh and let my fingers find your pussy, would it be wet? Did thinking about me having sexual control over you get you hot or did you find it distasteful? Does the thought of being in my power, of serving me in that fashion, knowing that I would be a kind Master and ensure your safety and pleasure, does that do something for you? Because I can smell you right now and I’ll know if you’re lying to me. Lying to your mentor could bring about unexpected consequences. Now, who do you think you are in this part of our relationship?”
All the air seemed to have fled her lungs. He was so close their mouths were almost together. “I’m the sub. Definitely the sub.”
“Yes, you are.”
She closed her eyes, ready to let him lead her in this. Boundaries. They would have boundaries, and that made her feel safe.
“All right, let’s go watch some scenes and then we can talk.”
She opened her eyes and he was standing over her, his hand out to help her up. What had happened? He wanted to watch other people and talk some more?
He smiled like he could tell exactly what she was thinking. “It’s part of the process, sweetheart. Let me lead you in this section. We’ll talk about how you want to proceed. Remember this. You’re the sub and that means ultimately you’re in control.”
It was weird and intriguing.
And she found herself walking back into the kitchen next to him.
Javier stopped her, stepping in front of her body. “What the hell happened?”
Big Tag and Charlotte were on the floor, a tangle of body parts and lemon desserts.
“Don’t you take the arrow out,” Charlotte was yelling into her cell phone even as she tried to stay completely still.
“You tell him I will kill him if this incident scars my baby girl for life,” Ian swore. “Charlie, baby, my shoulder’s out of socket. Could you help me out?”
Without missing a beat, she scrambled to her feet, leaned down, selected one of the unspoiled tarts and shoved it into her husband’s mouth. “Happy now? I told you that chair wouldn’t hold us both and it’s the babysitter who got shot. Boomer might die on our living room floor.” She was back on the phone. “I’m sorry. We’re on our way right now. Seriously, don’t take that arrow out.”
Big Tag was on his feet, chewing the last of the tarts even as his arm was at a completely unnatural angle. “Macon! Buddy, I’m going to need these to go. Date night’s fucked up again. Javi, some help here?”
Javier shook his head and put out an arm, bracing himself. “Has anyone ever told you you’re completely insane?”
Big Tag grinned and used Javier’s straight arm to shove his shoulder back into socket with an audible crack. “Never heard that one before. Use condoms. Like three of ’em.”
He turned and followed his wife out.
“First scene of the night,” Javier said with a shake of his head. “Let’s see if we can find one that’s less crazy. Let’s go watch the sadist. It’s probably less violent than what we just saw.”
She held his hand and let him lead her away.