She was here and that was all he could ask.
Javier watched as the scene started to wind down. Kai and Kori could go at it pretty hard, which was precisely why he’d brought her out to the garage to watch their scene. Kori didn’t hold back. She howled and cursed her Master and giggled and laughed, and when she came he was surprised the neighborhood couldn’t hear it.
He was throwing her in the deep end, but she needed to see what it was like.
“I don’t think I’ll ever look at my therapist the same way again,” she admitted as they stepped back into the house. She stopped, seeing that Eric had Deena tied to a St. Andrew’s Cross and was using a flogger on her.
It was a lot. Maybe he should have gone slower.
“Any questions?” Or would you prefer to run screaming from the house?
She turned and grinned up at him, a light in her eyes. “What can I try?”
He breathed an audible sigh of relief. “I thought I scared you off.”
“It looks fun. I don’t think I’m ready for suspension play, but I get some of it,” she replied. “It’s about stimulating parts of your body that don’t get stimulated often. I realized that there’s this part of PT I always look forward to. I thought it was weird and maybe a little perverse at first, but I always want to tell the guy who puts the TENS on my arm to turn that sucker up. It’s feeling where there was none before. I like it.”
Oh, he knew what they should play with. “Come on. Let’s see if anyone’s using the violet wand. I don’t know if they have a TENS here, but this should work.”
He’d turned away earlier. When she’d closed her eyes, he’d known he could have kissed her. Hell, he likely could have laid her back on the chaise and had his way with her, but they would have been right back at the start. She knew he could handle her sexually. He had to prove he could be more than a walking, talking vibrator.
He ducked into the guest bedroom where he knew Eric had set up the violet wand. He was in luck. It was quiet in here and it looked like everyone had been busy with suspension and impact play. He picked up the wand and attached a head, this one a flat glass piece.
“Normally, we would sit down and negotiate a contract between the two of us and I would go over what kinds of play you’re interested in and what your hard and soft limits are.”
“But I don’t know anything, so I have no idea.”
“Trust me, you could answer some of them very quickly,” he said with a chuckle. “And if you want to pursue this past tonight, we’ll need something in place between us. But for now we’re just going to play around, and if at any time you’re scared, tell me and I’ll stop.”
Her pretty blue eyes rolled in a perfectly bratty expression of disdain. “You’re not going to scare me with that wand thingee. I was in the Navy, you know. Not exactly a fainting flower.”
It was one of the things that made him want her. “Okay, then. This is what we call a violet wand. It sends an electrical charge across your skin.”
“Fun,” she said.
“And stimulating.” That was the point. He flicked the wand on and the air suddenly smelled like ozone as the glass held a purple charge. He set it on the lowest setting and tested it. Like everything Eric owned, it was well taken care of and did its job. “Let me see your arm.”
She started to hold out her whole arm.
“Nope. The other one.” It was the one she tried not to use, the one that got the least stimulation.
She bit her bottom lip but did as he asked.
He let the sound crackle through the air. “So this is a low setting. It should feel like bubbles over your skin. I’m not going to play it over the surgical adhesions. It’s a little different than a TENS and I want to avoid anywhere with nerve damage. That’s fun you’ll have to have in PT.”
He ran the wand over her skin, starting at her elbow and skimming it down to just above where the limb ended. He was rewarded with a shiver and a smile.
“It does feel like bubbles,” she said. “You know you’re the only person outside of my doctors who ever touch me there. You can take it higher. I think I’d like more.”
He upped the wattage slightly. He held her arm with one hand as he played the wand over her. “This should feel like a caress of light. I think more people would if you let them in. It’s not that anyone cares. They simply don’t feel close enough to touch you.”
“I think your friend Kristy would disagree,” she replied with a gasp. She grinned, obviously enjoying the sensation.
“Turn around.” He could light her up if that was what she liked. He pulled her hair to one side, loving the silky feel of it against his palm. “Kristy is a person who doesn’t matter. If you need the world to be with you, Jules, you’re going to be disappointed. I’ve learned to make my world small and filled with people who count. Even then they can disappoint you because at the end of the day we’re all human and make terrible mistakes.”
Her head turned, eyes coming up to meet his. “I was putting her name out there because I heard she was here and I was jealous.”
Sweet honesty. They were making progress. “She came on to me. I sent her away in no uncertain terms. I know who she is. There might have been a time when I would have taken what she offered, but it’s gone now.”
She turned her head to face front, but not before he’d seen the satisfied smirk on her lips. Confident and sexy. “Deena owes me twenty bucks.”
He should protest, but apparently she’d bet on him. He brushed his fingers over the nape of her neck. “I’m glad I came through for you. How do you like this?”
He cranked it up slightly and ran it over her nape and down her spine.
Her head fell forward. “I like it, Javi. I like it a lot. It feels good.”
The husky sound of her voice went straight to his cock. The new plan sucked. The new plan required him to be patient, to not throw her down on the first convenient horizontal surface and fuck her like she was the last woman on earth. Nope. He wasn’t going to do that because he’d done that before and it hadn’t brought about the result he wanted.
“I’m glad. I like playing with the wand, too.” He ran it down both her arms, enjoying the way she responded. He got down on one knee. Damn, she had the prettiest ass. He couldn’t possibly let her know how easy it had been to tell Kristy he wasn’t interested. She’d shown up in her most angelic white corset, her blonde hair a halo around her face. She’d been beautiful but in a calculating way. She’d had nothing on his Jules, with her wavy red hair and guileless eyes. And this ass. He brought the wand just below the curve of her ass and she jumped.
“Hold still or I could hurt you,” he warned. “Hold on to the table.”
There was a good-sized massage table in the room, and he had to wonder if Eric was thinking of opening his own damn club. The man definitely had a hobby. She leaned over and put her hand on the table, stabilizing herself.
He ran the wand all over her legs, making lines of light down to her feet. She squirmed and wiggled, and every gasp made his cock tighten because he knew it was all prepping her. Prepping her for something he couldn’t give her.
He was going to masturbate like crazy tonight. He was going to grip his own dick and stroke himself, thinking about her the entire time. He would go over every filthy way he could have her and do it again and again until he could think straight around her.
“The violet wand can be especially fun. Did you know if you held a light bulb in your hand and I got close enough with the wand, you could light it up?” Javier asked, trying to keep his mind on the task at hand. He was mentoring her, teaching her about how fun play could be. Maybe a few weeks from now they could move this section of their relationship to the next level.
Boss/employee, neighbors, mentor/trainee. He had to take it slow so he could move them along to coworkers, true friends, lovers. Goals. A man had to have goals and had to be patient enough to reach them.
“That would be fun,” she said, her voice shaky. “I can see where this would be a fun scene to watch or play around in. But Javier, I would like to feel this all over. It’s nice on my arms and legs. What would it be like in other places?”
Fuck him. It would be incredibly hot. It would be sexy as hell. His dick would explode in his jeans and he would look like the biggest idiot on the planet. Doms were supposed to be in control even when they were only Doms in a play space. And yet, it was his job to serve her this evening, to let her explore the boundaries. She’d been incredibly open and tolerant up to this point. He couldn’t not reward her sweet curiosity—even if it meant leaving himself in a very bad place. But then who hadn’t walked around a dungeon with a massive, not-going-to-get-any-relief-tonight hard-on?
Still, she might not understand that he couldn’t touch her over her clothes. “I can’t get too close to the corset, sweetheart. It’s got metal in it and that would conduct the electricity in a way that wouldn’t be fun.”
“That’s okay. I would love to take it off.”
Yes. He was going to die. “Jules, I can get you out of that corset, but I’m not good at putting clothes back on a woman. It was never my goal. If I take you out of it, you’ll have to walk around half naked the rest of the night.”
She was quiet for a moment, the hum of the wand the only sound between them. “I saw lots of boobs and dicks and butts today. I was surprised that it didn’t bother me. It felt okay, like I was just getting to know people better.”
“Because they’re comfortable with it and they don’t make a big deal out of it,” he replied. It was going to be pure hell to get her naked and not touch her with anything except the wand, but then he’d made his bed by jumping into hers without setting the ground rules. “So do you want to play more?”
“Unless it would bother you.” Self-consciousness was creeping into her tone and he hated that. She’d found a confidence while they’d walked around that had been a lovely thing to see.
“It won’t bother me at all.” It would make him crazy. He would spend the rest of the evening attempting to leash his inner caveman. He flicked off the violet wand and put it down on the table. “Let’s get you out of this.”
He loosened the laces, easing them out. She looked gorgeous in the corset, but her skin was lovelier, and that night they’d spent together had been too quick. He’d been so eager he’d only taken a few moments to look at her before he’d gotten his mouth on her. This time, with no expectation of sex, he could take his time and appreciate her beauty.
Maybe it wouldn’t be bad. Anticipation. He needed to get used to it. He managed to loosen the laces enough that he could ease the corset over her. Her hair spilled down her back, making her look like some mermaid he’d caught, one who he’d never throw back, so he needed to figure out how to take care of this mysterious, gorgeous creature because she was his.
He couldn’t stop himself from reaching out to brush his fingers over the grooves the tight corset had left in her skin. Those were lovely, too.
She relaxed under his hands. “That feels even better than the wand.”
He chuckled but ran his palms over her back. “That’s because you probably are taking your first full breath in a couple of hours. Fet wear can be part of the torture. The crazy thing is once you’ve stopped torturing yourself, the act of getting undressed feels satisfying and pleasurable.”
“And free.”
“And free.” He gathered all that hair and brushed it to one side. “How free do you want to be? How far do you want me to go? There’s no metal in your thong. You can keep that on if you like.”
“I don’t. Like, that is. I think I want to be naked. I like how I feel when I’m naked and you look at me.”
Those words threatened to split him open, and he decided then and there to give her everything she wanted and to take nothing for himself. She needed to understand how much he was willing to give her, how far he wanted them to go.
“Then I would like for you to take them off and give them to me. I’ll keep them until you need them again. If you feel like you need them again.” He needed to get her used to the whole Dom/sub byplay thing. Her clothes would be something they would play with. He would demand them or leave them on as he would. He would build the anticipation or strip her bare so she could feel the cool air on her skin right before he slapped her ass and got her hot.
She hesitated, but only for a few seconds, and then she turned around, showing him her breasts. Her eyes met his and she slowly hooked her thumb under the waistband of her thong and tugged it down those long, luscious legs of hers. She straightened up and held them out. “Here you go, Sir.”
Fuck. He’d played around at this, enjoyed the fun of helping lovely women find their sexualities, but the way she called him Sir twisted something deep inside him. In a really good, warm, this-is-what-I-waited-for way. He took her undies and slid them in his pocket.
“Again, before tonight I would have found that incredibly weird, but now that I know Tiffany lets Sebastian use a butt plug on her, you carrying my thong around in your pocket feels perfectly normal.”
And that was the whole point. It felt good to bring her into this world, and she would find the women would be even more open with her now that she’d been here and accepted them. “What you don’t know is last week Tiff mouthed off one too many times about Sebastian’s choice of Riesling and she spent all Thursday dinner service with a butt plug. Never lost it once, even when every Dom in the place made it hard on her. That was Sebastian’s request, by the way. He wanted a pile on.”
“I wondered why they kept dropping things and not being able to get it themselves. They managed to always be cooking when something slipped away. Bastards.” But she giggled.
He patted the massage table. It was covered with a super-soft blanket. “Hop up here. Flat on your back.”
She immediately did as he’d ordered, her eagerness soothing to his soul. They could at least have this. If he was the one to introduce her to the lifestyle, she might bond to him in a way that would keep her by his side.
He had to stare for a moment. Goddess in repose. So fucking beautiful. He brought the wand up. “I’m sticking to the mushroom electrode. It’s best in the beginning, but if you like, next time we’ll use one with a smaller head. The feeling will be much more focused and intense the smaller the head.”
He clicked it on and her whole body jumped slightly. Ah, the mindfuck. She was responding beautifully to the mindfuck and that meant one thing. She trusted him. Jules wasn’t an adrenaline junkie. She didn’t do things for the scare. She enjoyed this because she trusted him not to hurt her.
Life had been easier when he hadn’t cared. And it had been much, much emptier. “I want to show you something. Close your eyes.”
“How can you show me if I can’t see?”
Such a brat. “I could spank you. I’ll find a mirror and you can see that.”
Her eyes closed. “You’re a very serious mentor.”
He never had been before, but he would give it to her. He was damn serious about her. He turned up the wattage because he could take a lot more than she could and touched it to his chest. The light sparked through him, stimulating him. He leaned over and brushed his lips against hers.
She shivered when the spark went from him to her, her eyes flying open.
He stood back up, a smile on his face. Yeah, his dick was dying, but he loved playing with her. “See, sparks fly when we kiss. Now hold on. If you move too much, I’ll have to tie you down.”
Not that he would mind. She would look lovely in bondage. Though he would have to figure out how to properly and safely bind her left arm. He would ask Chef about it. Sean knew more about rope than he did.
It seemed like somehow his whole life had become about ensuring her safety, plotting how to bring her closer, planning a future he’d never thought he would have.
If only he could make her see what he did.
It all began with bringing her pleasure. He brought the wand down and put his plan into action.
* * * *
Jules held on to the blanket beneath her and felt her toes curl as Javier brought the wand down to her breast. There was a crackling sound as it hit her skin and then the hum of electricity as he made patterns. She could see the purple spark that flashed against her and lit up her flesh.
Who would have thought electrical play would be her thing? Then again, who the hell would have guessed that Juliana O’Neil would be into kinky sex? Because it turned out she was really into kinky sex.
There had been a time when she’d been sure she wasn’t into any kind of sex at all. It hadn’t bothered her when she and Kevin were away from each other. After the accident and divorce, she’d thought she could live without it entirely until that moment she’d seen Javier.
This was their place to be sensual. Every move he made with that damn wand forced her body to clench and release and relax. She couldn’t remember a time when she’d felt so free. No one at the party had looked at her like she was a freak. Here she wasn’t her mother’s daughter, and she wasn’t the sum of her lost body parts. She was just Jules.
She could be Master Javier’s submissive. That suddenly seemed like a good thing to be.
They would have rules and boundaries and he would be honest with her. She wouldn’t have to worry about how he felt because when he was acting as her Dominant partner, it was his responsibility to tell her the truth.
Hadn’t he been that way the whole time?
She couldn’t stop the gasp that came out of her mouth when he touched the wand to her nipple. It was like her whole body lit up at the touch, as though he’d found a conduit that could send flash fire through her. Somehow the momentary flare of shock turned into warmth, curling through her and making her every muscle limp.
He moved to the other nipple, playing with her body and making it very hard for her to stay still. That, it seemed, was part of the torture for her.
Javier made a long, slow exploration of her body, running the wand over her in patterns that kept her guessing. Every touch felt new, every one different.
She didn’t want this to end.
She had to remember where they were and that they couldn’t make the same mistake again. What were the words he would use? “Javier, can we negotiate?”
She watched his face tighten.
“I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He shut off the wand and laid it back in its case. “Let me take care of you and then we can go somewhere to talk.”
She sat up, looking at the huge tent in his jeans. “Shouldn’t I take care of you, too?”
“Again, not a good idea.” He moved toward her, his face softening. “But I will take care of you. Let me touch you.”
She held out her hand. “But you don’t want me to touch you.”
Maybe she shouldn’t feel so comfortable naked.
“It doesn’t mean the same thing to you that it means to me,” he explained in a quiet voice.
“So you won’t make love to me unless I’m in love with you? I thought that was why we had the boundaries. So we could figure out if we work. So we would have a place that was safe to be together in.”
He stopped, the playful persona he often wore failing him. “I don’t like it when you look through me. I can’t stand it and that’s what you did last time. You wanted to pretend it didn’t happen. I can’t. I get that you need boundaries, but I can’t make love to you tonight and have you look through me in the morning.”
What had she done to him? It was hard to remember that underneath that gorgeous exterior was a man with a man’s feelings. She reached out and cupped his face, touching the scruff of his beard. “I won’t ever look through you. I thought I could handle a one-night stand, but I didn’t like how it made me feel either. I was scared. I still am. I don’t know that this can work, but I’m willing to try. Let’s change our boundaries a little bit. You can be my boss when we get to work, but we’re friends and lovers until we walk in that door.”
She wasn’t fooling herself. They would still be friends and lovers, but she needed the small wall between them at work.
“And you’ll let me take you home? I hate not seeing you home after work. I worry about you.”
This was what Kai meant. Talk. Negotiations. They’d been wrong not to do it that first night, but she hadn’t taken Javier seriously.
She hadn’t taken herself seriously either. She’d accepted immediately that he wouldn’t want her for more than a night. Why had she done that? Why had she expected that he would walk away?
Because that was what people did. They walked away when times got tough. Her father had. Her mother hadn’t walked away exactly, but the minute she’d become troublesome, her mother had dismissed her. Kevin had his light-bulb moment shortly after she lost her arm.
So if she knew how it would end, did that mean she couldn’t enjoy the parts in between? If she guarded herself, looked at the relationship realistically, she could keep him for as long as possible and then let him go when the time came.
Rules. Boundaries. As long as she respected them, she could do this.
“Yes, I’ll let you drive me home.” It was silly for them to take two cars.
He moved between her legs, bringing her closer to him. “I want one night a week where we do something together. One night is my choice.”
That didn’t seem fair. If he thought he was going to get her to go to basketball games or action flicks without any payback, he needed to figure out who he was playing with. “Fine. One night is my choice.”
He smiled down at her. “All right. And one night a week we play.”
And just like that she’d agreed to spend three of seven days with him. So dangerous, but she couldn’t back away. Not when he was this close. Not when she could feel the heat coming off his body. He was a drug and she was definitely at risk of becoming addicted to him.
His mouth came down and she wasn’t thinking about being reasonable anymore. His tongue tangled with hers and all those pesky thoughts floated away.
“We’re not in your apartment, Jules. I don’t want to play this vanilla.” One hand fisted in her hair, gently drawing her head back. “Do you understand what I’m saying?”
Since he’d been using electricity to get her motor running, she thought they’d passed vanilla a long time ago, but she knew what he meant. “You want to be in charge.”
“I am in charge of this and you want me to be.”
“Yes.” She was starting to crave this part of him. The happy, playful Javier was easy to be around, but the Dom inside made her ache to submit. The Dom reminded her there was much more to this man than good looks and a laid-back nature. “I want you in charge. I want to try this thing with you. I loved the way we were that night, but I think this could be even better. I liked sex, but I didn’t need it the way I seem to with you.”
“Because you didn’t get what you need from other partners,” he replied. “You liked the wand. You liked how it made you feel.”
He was forcing her to look him in the eyes, to be honest with him. “Yes, I liked it. I liked how out of control I was, but I wouldn’t have liked it with someone I didn’t trust. I liked how it hurt at first, and then something seemed to open up inside me.”
“Then trust me now.” He released his hold on her hair. “Get up, turn around, and rest your torso on the table. I want those legs spread wide.”
He helped her down and she turned around. It was awkward because she couldn’t ease down gracefully with only one hand.
“Don’t start in with the insecurities,” he ordered. “If you need help, I’ll help, but there’s no room for your insecurities here.”
She flopped down and spread her legs. It was weird and awkward, but she was tired of being worried about it. If Javier didn’t care, why should she? She was sure some other sub would hold herself off the table, showing off the lean, elegant lines of her body. If Javier wanted elegant, he would be with someone else. It was time to stop doubting the man and start accepting that his actions matched his words.
“Better.” His hand came down on her back. “See, I didn’t get to spend enough time on this pretty ass the other night. That’s the problem with vanilla hookup sex. Too often it’s fast and furious. It’s nothing more than a way to get off and quickly.”
“Is that how it was with your previous women? The broom closet ones, not the subs.” She didn’t like to think about how many of them there had been.
His hand eased down her spine toward her backside. What was he doing? She tried to turn, to see him.
“Eyes forward.” He said it with a smack to her ass.
She bit back a shout but turned her eyes to the wall. She didn’t need to see. It was obvious this was his spanky time. It was her time to see if this did something for her.
Another slap to her ass, this time the other cheek. “There wasn’t a lot of intimacy in the hookups, and for a very long time, that was the only kind of sex I had.” Another smack, this one more serious. “I was working my ass off and I didn’t have time for relationships or dating. I made it plain to every woman who was interested in me that a hookup was all they would get. And as for the subs, well, you’re the first.”
Three more smacks. Warmth spread through her, her skin seeming to come alive. “I thought you’ve been through training. How can I be the first?”
Two more slaps and then his hand slid between her legs, finding her pussy. “I trained plenty, and let me tell you Big Tag doesn’t go easy on Doms. My training partner was a very nice lady named Mia who is now married to one of Big Tag’s brothers. We were friends. No sex. After Mia, my brother came home and I tried to help out at his place for a while. I would play after work on Saturdays, but again, I didn’t have any real time to spend on a woman, so I kept things light. The deepest relationship I had was the very cautious one I’d started with Kristy, and you saw how that worked out. I didn’t even spend a whole night with her.” His voice deepened. “You are soaking wet.”
“Yes, I like the spanking thing.” She also liked his hand on her flesh.
“This isn’t a disciplinary spanking. This is meant to get you hot, and I’m happy to see it works. But I know something else that works, too.”
She heard the sound of his jeans being unzipped, of a wrapper opening. She gripped the table, trying to balance herself.
“Let go. I told you. I’m in charge of this.” He flipped her over the minute she obeyed.
He’d gotten naked at some point, and damn but she would never get used to the sight of his muscular body. She let her eyes drift down. His cock was long and thick, already encased in the condom. He moved her easily, settling her on the edge of the table.
She could feel where he’d spanked her, where he held her just on the edge. If he stepped away she would fall, but that was part of the intimacy. He wouldn’t allow her to fall. She could play in dangerous waters because he wouldn’t hurt her.
“Hold on to me. Only me.” He started to rub against her, easing his dick inside.
She wrapped her arms around him, his body the only balance she had. He looked down, watching the place where his cock was disappearing inside her body.
“Take me,” he commanded. “Take all of me.”
He thrust inside, the sensation flaring through her. She was stretched in the best way. His cock invaded and dominated. Jules held on as Javier took over. He picked her up, impaling her on his cock.
He moved her up and down, showing off just how strong he was. She felt like she weighed nothing at all, like she was delicate and petite when she knew she was neither. She let her head fall back as he hit her sweet spot and the world seemed to explode all around her.
Javier moved her back to the table, setting her down before grinding out his own orgasm. He held her hard against him as he found his pleasure, kissing her over and over again.
He wrapped his arms around her when he was finished, giving her the intimacy she needed. “I didn’t mean to do that, but damn I’m glad we did. I know we need to take this slow, but I don’t think I’ll be able to keep my hands off you when we play.”
She smiled up at him. “I don’t want you to, Sir. I like having your hands on me.”
And she was already bargaining. She was already wondering what it would really hurt if he took her home and they spent the night together.
There was a knock on the door that had her clutching at him.
“Guys, I’m sorry to interrupt you,” Eric said, opening the door. If he was shocked, she couldn’t tell. There was a grave look on his face. “Javier, Derek Brighton just called. There was a break-in at your place. Your brother was injured. Apparently they were minor injuries, but they still need you back in Dallas.”
Javier’s face went blank and then he stepped back. “I’m sorry, Jules. I have to go.”
Eric closed the door, leaving them alone again.
Jules reached out for him, but he was pulling his jeans off the floor. “I’ll go with you. I can be ready to go in a few minutes.”
“Absolutely not.” He pulled the condom off, tied it, and tossed it in the handy trashcan. “I have no idea what I’m walking into.”
“All the more reason for me to go with you.” She hated the thought of him driving back to Dallas alone with no one to distract him.
“No,” he said. “You stay here with Kai and Kori. They’ll take you home.”
“I thought you wanted to take me home.” She hopped down and reached for her corset.
He stopped at the door. “I want you safe. Don’t forget. You’re the one who needs boundaries. We have to respect them. Let me handle this.”
He walked out, leaving her alone and wondering if those boundaries were really what she needed after all.