Jules frowned down at the paper. Her handwriting sucked, and it looked even worse next to her grandmother’s super-neat script. Of course, her grandma had use of her dominant hand and Jules was trying to make do with her right hand.
Making do. Wasn’t that exactly what she was trying to do?
That’s what her mom would call the cookbook. Making Do – How to Cook with One Hand Tied Behind Your Back—or left somewhere in Iraq.
It was just an experiment. She’d found a box filled with her grandma’s recipes in the stuff Kevin had sent her from their old place in South Carolina. The recipes were the everyday food a housewife would cook. It was far too plebeian for her mother’s show. Many of the ingredients were canned or staples of a cupboard. Easy to put together.
Maybe easy to cook with one hand.
She’d been making a few notes on Slow Cooker Stuffed Bell Peppers.
The key was trying to figure out how to use a knife with a hand she still felt clumsy with.
Thunder shook her little space.
Damn, something was going on outside. She glanced out the window and rain was coming down in sheets.
It would be a long night. She didn’t like storms. Storms made her remember.
Her cell phone trilled and she saw the number flash. Ah, the cavalry. She had to smile as she ran her finger across the screen. “Hello, Doc. How are you?”
Kai Ferguson’s voice came over the line, smooth and peaceful. “Well, I was calling to ask you the very same question.”
It was good to have someone give a shit about her. “It’s just a storm. I’ll be good.”
“Jules, you don’t have to be strong. You nearly died in a storm. You lost your hand and it hasn’t been very long since that night. It’s all right to be afraid,” he said. “Kori was wondering if you might want to come over for dinner and a movie.”
Kori Ferguson was as kick ass as her husband. Though Jules hadn’t been in town long, she’d been more than happy to find a place where she didn’t feel like a freak. That was one of the best things about Top. Chef chose to hire as many veterans as he could, and he didn’t care how many limbs they came with. Or rather, he really did because he immediately offered his employees Kai’s services. But she was an adult and it was time to stop flinching when the thunder rolled in. “I can’t tell you how much I appreciate it, Kai, but I need to do this.”
“All right, then. Did you think about what we talked about on Thursday? I ask because there’s a play party coming up at a place I trust. If you would like to go I would send you with an instructional Dom to test the waters and see if it’s something you’re interested in.”
Ah, the BDSM question. It was one of the perks of being a Top employee, though the trainee program was shut down for a few months. They’d reached capacity, but there would always be people moving in and out. She’d indicated she was interested and Kai took that seriously.
Was she interested? Kind of, but she wasn’t even sure if she would be a top or a bottom. Still, what the hell else was she doing with her life? “Would he know about me? You know, about my arm?”
There was a slight pause that let her know Kai was dealing with her carefully. “Yes, if you like I would make sure he knew. Though you should understand I would never choose someone who would reject you. This is a training relationship.”
She winced. He was right. This Dom wouldn’t be looking to date her. It wasn’t a sexual thing. It was a very polite agreement to show her around and talk to her about what she saw and felt. “Forget I said anything. Seriously, Kai, I wasn’t thinking. Anyone you would recommend is great. I would like very much to go.”
“Excellent. I’ll send you all the information tomorrow. And again, if you find it’s hard to get through tonight, call us. We’re watching some sort of horror film about sharks. You would be saving me.”
“I’ll remember that. Thanks, Kai.” She hung up with him.
The lightning flashed and thunder shook the building. She took a deep breath. A long and lonely night. It would be all right. She would find a movie to watch and get cozy on the couch. Maybe a romance.
The night before she’d sat next to Javier at family dinner. He’d been polite, talking to her about how well the sauce had gone and asking questions about her background.
He’d been attentive, his focus on her. He’d made sure she had everything she needed and then he’d walked her back to their apartment building just two blocks away.
It had been a long time since she’d had a man pay that much attention to her. Not since she and Kevin had started dating. It had been nice at first, and then when she’d realized how invested she was getting in a single conversation with the man, a little unnerving.
She’d found herself giggling and flirting and she’d had to shut that shit down.
She wasn’t sure what Javier was doing by spending so much time with her, but she needed time to think about it.
Another blast of lightning and then thunder that shook the world around her. Well, she would have time tonight since there was zero chance she was sleeping through this. She would be up all night long.
She reached for her pencil. With her left hand.
God, when would she stop doing that? It had been eighteen months and she still reached out like her hand was there, like she could pick up the pencil and easily write down her ideas on tweaking the spices the way she used to with her mom’s recipes. When would it become natural to remember that her left hand was gone? To not feel it?
When she dreamed at night she could cook. She was the chef, her knife moving with consummate ease, chopping with perfect precision.
And then she woke up and could barely open a can of coffee without making a mess.
She needed a distraction. Hopefully there was a movie on TV.
The lights went out, everything going quiet and still.
Shit.
She waited for a moment. Come on. Turn back on.
Nothing.
She’d paid her bill. It couldn’t be that. Jules got up and went to the window. Yep. Everything was dark up and down the block. They’d blown a transformer somewhere.
All alone with the storm. Maybe she should call Kai. And ask him to get out in the middle of this? That seemed pretty selfish, especially since she knew exactly how poorly traveling through storms could go.
A hard flash of white light made her jump back.
Nope. She wasn’t going there. She was going to stay in the here and now, and that meant finding a flashlight and trying to get some candles lit. Someone was out there working on getting the power back on, and then she would ride out the storm watching rom coms and falling asleep on the couch. It was going to be okay. Deep breath. It was going to be okay.
A few moments later she’d found her one flashlight and had a nice set of candles out, and she was faced with the problem of lighting the suckers. Oh, she had a big box of matches, but she’d never struck a match without her left hand.
A lighter would be easier. She could figure out a lighter maybe. Jules tried holding the box against the table with her stump while she struck the match with her right hand. She fumbled, the action so unnatural it made her slip up and break the match.
And the second one.
And the third one.
Tears pierced her eyes, but she wasn’t going to shed them. She was going to figure this out or she would make do with the flashlight. It was all about adapting. That was what she had to do. Adapt.
She wasn’t going to let this beat her. Normally she was tough. The accident had happened and she dealt with it. She didn’t feel the need to sit down and cry when she had trouble opening a can or working her phone. But between the storm and the conversation with Suzanne the day before about her mother and the sweetness of flirting with a handsome man she couldn’t have, she was feeling particularly vulnerable.
Jules took a deep breath. She wasn’t going to sit here in the dark and cry.
A knock on the door made her gasp and jump.
Fuck. She wasn’t like this. She hated this…this anxiety she got when it rained. It was weakness and she couldn’t abide it.
If you walk away from this you’ll ruin your life, Juliana. Don’t think I’ll watch you do it. You go through with this and you do it on your own. Am I understood?
Sometimes she felt like she was still seven years old, and if she could just get her mom’s attention everything would be okay.
Jules gripped the flashlight and walked across her apartment to the door. It was likely one of the neighbors coming to check on her. Actually, that was an excellent idea. She could go down and see if Mrs. Gleeson needed some company. There were some elderly residents she could check on and a single mom she’d met at the end of the hall. She could see if she could be of any assistance and that would get her through the night.
She opened the door expecting to see anyone but the man she saw standing there.
Javier Leones. He had a flashlight in one hand and a bottle of wine in the other. He was wearing jeans and a button down that he’d left undone enough she could see a nice swath of golden brown skin. His hair was deliciously mussed, as though he’d taken a shower and simply rubbed a towel over it to get it dry.
He was big and male and so sexy it hurt to look at him, and Jules realized she could do something else to take her mind off things.
Those plump, sensual lips of his broke into a bright smile. “I thought you might like some company. I know I would. I actually don’t have any candles. I was sitting in my living room with this one sad flashlight. You look like a woman who has some candles.”
But she couldn’t light them. She hadn’t figured that part out.
His face fell and he walked into her place, closing and locking the door behind him. “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s okay if you don’t have any candles. It’s cool. Two flashlights are better than one.”
He set the flashlight and wine bottle down and moved into her space, his hands coming up to cup her shoulders. “Jules, what’s wrong?”
She had to be stronger than this. She shook her head. “Nothing. I’m fine.”
His jaw tightened. “Don’t. Please don’t. I live with a stubborn asshole who won’t let me help him in any way. I get that we’ve only known each other for a few weeks, but I thought we were friends. You help me out all the time. You’re kind to me. Fucking let me be kind to you. Please let me feel like I’m worth something.”
If he’d said anything else, joked about the weather or told her to suck it up, she could have, but he’d opened a door. He’d been vulnerable and honest, and she found she couldn’t pay that back with stubbornness.
“I have plenty of candles and I can’t figure out how to light them.” Tears rolled down her face. She was vulnerable. All the time. Even when she pretended like she wasn’t.
“You can’t…” he began and then he looked down. Instead of stepping back and giving her space, he drew his hand down her arm, warming her skin where he touched her. It was dark but the moon was full and gave enough light to see the outline of his face. There was no look of horror there. He caressed her arm until he got to the place where she’d been split apart and sewn back together unwhole. He brought it up and wrapped it against his palm, his fingers closing around it until the whole thing was surrounded with his warmth. “You haven’t figured out how to do it yet. Probably hasn’t come up or you would know what to do. How long since you lost your hand?”
“A year and a half,” she said. He was touching her there. No one had touched her there except her doctors and therapists.
Come to think of it, no one had touched her at all since before the accident. Had it really been so long since she’d felt warm flesh against her own? He was close, close enough that all she would have to do was go up on her toes to brush her lips against his.
Would that be wrong? As long as she remembered who she was dealing with, why couldn’t she take a few moments of respite for herself? If he wanted her.
He stepped back, letting go of her arm and leaving her colder than she’d been before. “I have no doubt that you can figure out how to make it work, but let me help out tonight. Like I said, I spend all my time with a cranky vet.”
He had the flashlight back in his hand and he quickly found the candles and matches.
“How is Rafe doing?” She needed to slow down because she wasn’t even sure she was his type. Though his type seemed to be female and willing.
Was she really going to suggest that they go at it?
He lit the first match, touching it to one of the candles and then another. “His surgery went well. They’re keeping him until Wednesday. I’m hoping that he won’t be in as much pain after the procedure and that will spur him to actually try in his rehab sessions.”
“I know it sucks at first, but it’s one of those things that gets easier the more you do it,” she said, watching him move the candles around until they lit the whole room. Yeah, the light did not take anything away from how lovely he was. “Using the prosthetics, though obviously it’s a long process. I’m not entirely comfortable with mine. It hurts sometimes. I’m clumsy with it so I try to do a lot without it.”
“Yours is body powered?” Javier asked, setting the last of the candles down.
He knew a lot, but then he had a brother who’d been through it all. “Yes, I chose the body powered over electric.”
“Why? The electric would be more functional.”
“It’s also way more expensive,” she replied.
He seemed about to say something, but then let it go. “How’d you lose it? If you don’t mind my asking.”
Somehow she didn’t with him. He was part of the “family,” so to speak. “I jumped in the water to save this family that had been fleeing… I don’t even know if they were fleeing us or the bad guys. You know it’s all relative in the middle of battle when you’re a civilian. They were on this raft thing and it was coming apart. I went out with a team to save them. It was storming and dark. We could barely see them. You don’t want to be out on the water in a storm in that gulf, let me tell you. We were supposed to stay in the boat; try to save them, but stay in the boat. I couldn’t. I jumped in and managed to save the six-year-old, but when I was trying to climb back in the boat we got hit by a wave and I was tossed off. I was in all the right gear and everyone did the right things, but at some point, that raft came undone and I got smacked with it. Nearly drowned and ended up cutting the hell out of my hand on one of the nails they used. Went to the infirmary after a hard-core dressing down and that was where I picked up the staph infection. I left a good portion of my arm behind, got a discharge, and the rest is history.”
“That’s rough. Can I stay for a while? I did bring wine. I hope you like Pinot,” he said, holding up the bottle.
“There’s a corkscrew in the drawer next to the dishwasher. I can open a bottle of wine with one hand,” she admitted. “I taught myself how to do that really fast.”
“I like a woman who has her priorities straight.” He quickly found the corkscrew. “Hopefully this doesn’t go on for long, but the last time we lost power it was four or five hours. Do you mind if I hang out here? I’m not much of a loner.”
“I don’t like storms so I don’t mind the company at all.” She opened the cabinet and found a couple of wine glasses.
He poured like a man who had taken many a shift at the bar. “I can imagine it reminds you. Let’s talk about something else. How did you get into the business?”
Wow, something she wanted to talk about even less than how she lost her hand. “I got the job at Top because I knew Eric. He was actually closer to my ex-husband, but we were all friendly. When I got out, Kevin called him and asked about a job.”
He handed her the glass. “You’re friendly with your ex?”
So many subjects she didn’t like to talk about. What did that say about her? She was getting closed off to the world and people around her—what would be left? “I guess we went into the marriage more as friends than anything else. We were both in the Navy. It seemed like the right thing to do at the time. When I left the Navy, suddenly the marriage wasn’t right for him anymore. I don’t blame him. It wasn’t a super passionate thing.”
And she’d liked it that way. It had been comfortable. She hadn’t been devastated when he’d left, hadn’t sat and cried for days like her mother had. Like she had when her father left. The divorce with Kevin had gone as smoothly as their marriage had most of the time. It had proven to her that she was right. People came together when it worked for them and broke apart the minute it didn’t. Being practical was important.
Javier leaned against the bar. “Really? Not a true love kind of girl, huh?”
“If there is such a thing, I haven’t found it,” she admitted.
“Why do you think people get married then? Why do some of them stay together for life? My parents did. My mama still mourns my papa.” He was staring at her, obviously waiting to see what she would say.
She wasn’t going to get into an argument with him. If his parents had managed to stick it out for life then good for them. “Funny, I wouldn’t think you would be the one to argue for true love.”
He winced. “I’m not as bad as my reputation might seem. I will admit I’ve done my fair share of partying, but I’ve had some relationships. I’m not against having another one if the right person came along.”
This felt much better than talking about her. “Did blondie come back?”
He sighed and took a drink. “Yeah, you were right on point about her. She ran as fast as she could the minute I had more responsibility than driving her home from a night of fun. I’m pretty sure she was only interested in me for connections to Sanctum.”
“I thought Sanctum membership was closed.” That was what she’d been told.
“Not exactly. They’re not running training classes right now. Big Tag doesn’t want the club to get too full. There are a lot of very powerful people who play at Sanctum and they get nervous when there are too many people around.”
“He sounds a little like a mobster.” She’d seen the man but hadn’t actually talked to him. Big Tag didn’t wait to be seated. There was a table that was always held open for him and he knew the way.
“I think Big Tag would say he knows the power of influence. He wouldn’t ever use a person’s sexual proclivities against them, but it does give him the chance to sit at the bar with some people who can do his business an enormous amount of good,” Javier explained.
Rather like her mother. Her mother could work a relationship like no one she’d ever seen. Right up to the point that relationship became inconvenient.
A clap of thunder shook the house and she jumped.
Javier put down the glass and moved to her again, his hands on her arms. “Hey, it’s okay. You really don’t like storms.”
She hated being weak. “I’m good.”
“Sweetheart, you’re shaking.” He took the glass out of her hand and drew her in, wrapping his arms around her. “It’s okay. Let me take care of you. You helped me out that night, and don’t think I don’t see you trying to help my brother. I’ll stay with you. You don’t have to worry.”
Those big arms came around her and she was completely enveloped in his warmth. She knew she should step back. She had to work with this man, but she couldn’t. He felt way too good. She liked him. He was a nice guy, and according to rumors he’d slept with coworkers before and hadn’t had a problem with them afterward. A couple of waitresses, one of the hostesses who’d moved on.
He’d come looking for her. He’d come with wine and now he was giving her physical attention. Surely that meant he’d come over looking for some attention himself.
It wasn’t wrong to tilt her head up, to look up at that gorgeous face of his. Somehow in the candlelight it felt right to hold on to him.
He looked down at her and she caught the moment he went from “guy giving girl comfort” to “guy who might get some comfort of his own.” His eyes seemed to darken, the arms around her tightening slightly like he didn’t want to let her get away. “Juliana, you shouldn’t look at me like that, sweetheart.”
“Why shouldn’t I?” She couldn’t stop staring at his lips. It had been too damn long since a man had kissed her.
“Because it could get you in trouble. It could make me think things I shouldn’t.”
Yes, this was what she needed. There was zero question he was rejecting her. He’d come here for this, for her. It didn’t mean more than they both needed someone tonight and that was okay. “What would you think? What would you think if I went on my toes and did this?”
She pressed up and brushed her lips over his, an easy affection. It was over almost before it began, but she felt a shudder go through his big body.
“Yeah, that might make me think about doing this,” he whispered before his arms moved, hands coming up to cup the sides of her face. His fingertips brushed over her skin before he tightened his hold and dipped his head down. His mouth covered hers, lips aligning with perfection.
He moved his mouth on hers, easing into the kiss. He took his time, gentle at first, and then she felt the warmth of his tongue requesting entry. There was no way she would keep him out. Somewhere in the background she could hear the rain pounding against the roof, but it wasn’t a thing to be afraid of now. Now it made the world seem cozy and safe. She wasn’t alone for the night. She didn’t even have to contemplate it. No worries, just this.
His tongue slid, dancing with hers. She let him lead, giving over completely because it felt good to not be in charge. He showed her how to move, gently nudging her this way or that.
When he moved away, she was breathless.
He stared down at her as though memorizing her face. The man knew how to make a woman feel like she was the center of the world. She could see why women fell in line to wait for a chance to spend the night with him.
“I didn’t intend to do this tonight,” he said, one side of his mouth curling up in the sexiest grin she’d ever seen.
“But you intended to do it?” She hadn’t missed his wording.
He smoothed her hair down before running his hands along her back and bringing their bodies together.
Damn but that felt good. Her skin was heating up, nipples starting to peak. Her brain was going a little fuzzy and it had nothing at all to do with the wine.
“Yes, I did,” he admitted, his voice low and deep. He leaned over and kissed her on the forehead, moving down toward her nose. Each caress was soft and sweet. “I knew I was going to try to seduce you fairly early on. I have to admit I’ve been a little obsessed with you these last few weeks. You’re very different from other women I’ve known.”
He brushed his mouth over hers and then kissed along her jaw.
She could barely get the question out. “How am I different? Not as blonde as your usual?”
“I don’t have a type like that, sweetheart.” His lips trailed to her ear, licking over the shell and making her shiver. “I tend to like my women fun and easy, and I think you’re more interesting than that. I think you’re complex. I think you could be very satisfying.”
She knew he would be satisfying. “Why don’t you kiss me again and we’ll find out?”
“Oh, I knew you would be a righteous brat.” He said the words, but there was a deep amusement to his voice that made her think he was okay with that.
Brat. She kind of liked the word. She’d been damn near perfect as a child. It had only been coming out of high school that she’d felt a real need to break away. To leave all of it behind and do something she’d never done before.
It was time to break away again, time to find a new her, and this felt like a damn fine place to start.
He lowered his head down and kissed her again. This time his intention was plain. He surged into her mouth, his tongue rubbing against hers. Long and slow and infinitely carnal. His hands moved over her body and before she really knew what was happening, she found herself lifting her arms and letting him draw the tank top over her head, exposing her breasts. He turned her, bringing her back up against his front. Those big hands ran up her body and cupped her breasts.
“I knew they would be beautiful. Look at how perfect they are in my hands. Do you see how we fit together?” His mouth was against her ear, the words hot and sweet. “I took one look at you and knew we would fit together just like this.”
Oh, he was good. Brilliant. This was what it meant to have her body played by a master. No one had ever kissed her the way Javier did—like she was the sweetest fruit and he couldn’t get enough of her. She let her head fall back against his chest. “I know this feels good.”
“It feels right.” He seemed content for a moment to touch her breasts, learning their shape and firmness. He kissed the shell of her ear, licked along it until he got to the lobe, where he gave her a playful nip.
She gasped and shuddered in his arms because that little nip of pain had gone straight through her body to her pussy. She was wet and warm down there. What normally took forever with her ex, Javier managed to do with a couple of kisses and some hot words. “I think we should take this to my bedroom.”
One hand came up, shifting her hair to the side. “You move fast, sweetheart. I like to take my time. I think I probably have more experience than you, so maybe I should take the lead here. You see, I think you’re greedy, baby. I think you want me to hop on top of you and get you off as fast as I can.”
“Not sure what’s wrong with that.”
“What’s wrong with that is everything. I told you I had plans for you and I’m not going to change them because the timetable moved up.”
“Plans?”
“Plans to take all night. Plans to go slow and make this last. Plans to show you how good this can be.” He kissed her shoulder, his free hand starting to inch down her body toward the waistband of her pajama bottoms. “I can’t do that with a quickie. Tell me how long it’s been.”
There was a decadent bite of command in his voice that really did something for her. Still, she found herself fighting him a little. “What makes you think it’s been a while?”
His fingers dipped inside her pajama bottoms, inching ever closer to the place that seemed to have become the center of her world. “Let’s see. I know I’m a pretty boy, but I have a brain, too. Don’t underestimate me. I’ve been around the McKay-Taggart boys long enough to know how to deduce a few things about the people near me. One—you recently divorced. Couples who have excellent sex on a regular basis don’t tend to divorce. Two—your husband was also military and you were both deployed. Even if you were having good sex, distance would be a problem, and I don’t think you’re the kind to play around while you’re married.”
“No playing around.” Was that her voice? It was breathy and sexy. She couldn’t quite catch a deep breath because those fingers of his were playing at the edges of her pussy, coming close to her clitoris. Poor, lonely clitoris.
Yeah, masturbation hadn’t been the same since she lost her dominant hand.
“Then there’s the third part.” He whispered the words against her ear, quiet and low, like they were only ever meant to be heard by her. “You went through something traumatic. You probably haven’t felt sexy in a long time.”
“Not in forever, Javier.” She was vulnerable, wanted to believe this was something real, but it wasn’t. He was a good-time guy who knew how to work a woman. She had to remember that at all times and take the good he had to give her.
He wasn’t trying to hurt her. This was simply what he did, and when she looked at it in a positive fashion, it was all right. He hadn’t promised her a thing. He was bringing her pleasure and making her feel like a woman again. In the morning she would thank him and never give him a moment’s worth of awkwardness.
He was exactly what she needed.
“You are the single, sexiest thing I’ve seen in forever,” he said as his finger made that first light pass over her clit.
Her vision went soft. Yeah, the storm couldn’t touch her here. “I don’t know, Javi. I’ve seen some of your conquests and you like them beautiful.”
“It’s not the same.” The hand on her breast began to move, lightly pinching her nipple between his thumb and forefinger. “You’re different. You’re gorgeous, but there’s something more about you. Not a single one of those women I’ve spent time with lately would have been kind to my brother.”
“Then you choose crappy women.”
“I didn’t choose them for their personalities. I chose them because they didn’t want anything out of me. Not anything other than sex. Do you understand, Juliana?”
He was offering her sex and nothing more. She could handle that even though her heart was already softening toward him. He was being honest and that was all she could ask of him. But she was a big girl and she wasn’t looking for another relationship. She wasn’t good at them. This, though, this she could handle. This she could crave.
“I understand.” She could barely hear the words over the pulse pounding through her.
A single finger ran over her clit, pressing with just enough force to make her gasp and try to squirm.
He held her tight. “Good. I want to make things clear between us. You’re different. You should know that. And I know you’re eager. I know you want this and you want it now. I do, too, but I know how good it can be when we take our time. But, sweetheart, that doesn’t mean I can’t give you a little taste. Do you want that?”
She nodded. “Yes. I want that. I want you, Javier.”
Even if he would break her heart at the end. Feeling like this—even briefly—was worth it. Her life had been bleak since that night, colorless and bland. Now she felt vibrant, spicy, and a little on the wild side. She was old enough to know feeling like this had a price and that price was heartache, but she would manage it. Anything was better than how dull she felt every day of her life.
“I want you, too.” That finger of his picked up the pace and she couldn’t help but rub herself against him like a damn cat in heat. It didn’t matter because she could feel his cock hard against her ass. He wanted her. He wasn’t scared off by her missing limb or how she could put her nose in where it didn’t belong. He wanted her.
She relaxed for the first time in forever and gave over to him. He was the one with the experience and she let him have his way.
The orgasm broke over her, a wave she didn’t want to cage. Jules didn’t hold back, moaning over the steady sound of rain.
When the thunder rattled the apartment this time, she barely noticed.
* * * *
Javier felt the orgasm go through her and a real thrill of pleasure spilled across him. He’d watched her carefully over the weeks she’d been at Top and he would bet a lot that Juliana O’Neil wasn’t a woman who gave over easily. It would be hard for her to let go and forget about her problems, but she’d given in to him without a whisper of trouble.
Because she felt what he did. She had to feel that this was right. For the first freaking time in his life, he was with the right woman.
One good thing. That was all he needed. The last several weeks of his life had been past difficult, but if he came out of it with Jules by his side and in his bed, it would all be worth it. He could handle Rafael’s damage as long as he had Jules.
“Take these off for me.” There was no reason for her to keep those pajama bottoms and undies on. He pushed them off her hips and she managed to kick them away.
He leaned over and picked her up, carrying her to the couch.
Her eyes were soft and a bit hazy when she looked up at him. “Shouldn’t we go to the bedroom?”
He loved how husky her voice had gone. That whiskey rough voice went straight to his dick. Not that he needed more encouragement. He was hard as hell as it was. “No light in there and I want to see you. I want to see every inch of that gorgeous body.”
She flushed slightly and shifted her damaged arm. She talked a good game, but it was obvious it bothered her.
“Don’t.” He gently gripped her arm and brought it up to his lips. There was nothing wrong with her. Even her scars were beautiful. He kissed the place where they’d taken a piece of her. “This is beautiful, too, sweetheart. This is sacrifice and love. Don’t ever try to hide it.”
“You’re killing me, Javier,” she said. “You know exactly what to say.”
He often didn’t. He often fumbled, but it seemed to come easy with her. Most of the women he’d been with, there hadn’t been a ton of talking. He knew what his reputation was. Hell, he’d nurtured it for years. If a lady wanted a good time, he was her guy. No strings. No promises. Most of the time no repeats, though he’d broken that rule on occasion. He moved fast and always left his lovers satisfied. He was Hurricane Javier. He got in, got the job done, and walked away before it got too heavy. Sometimes that meant walking away before names were exchanged.
Something had changed over the last few months. Maybe it had been watching his friends settle down, but damn it, he wanted more and he wanted it with this woman.
He wanted what Macon had with Ally. What Eric and Deena had found. What Sebastian and Tiffany had.
Her couch was big and comfy. He could do what he needed to do. He kissed her once more and then dragged his shirt over his head. Skin to skin. He wanted to feel her warmth around him.
He was always open and honest with women. He told them what he was willing to give. Telling Jules she was different from other women felt right.
Everything felt right with her.
For the first time in his life he was in deep with a woman.
Her skin was warm, practically glowing in the candlelight. She was a sexy goddess lying there waiting for him, her nipples tight and skin flushed. He could see how her pussy glistened from the orgasm he’d given her. It made his cock tighten even further until he was almost certain the damn thing was going to break out and try to get inside her on its own.
“Take them off, Javier,” she demanded. “I want to see you. I’ve thought long and hard about what you would look like without all those clothes.”
She’d thought about him, had she? He couldn’t help the fact that her words made him feel about ten feet tall. It made all the time he spent in the gym worth it. He unbuckled his belt and shoved his jeans down, toeing out of his sneakers. He tossed them to the side but not before fishing out the condom he kept in his wallet. Just in case.
“You’re a Boy Scout,” she said, looking him over. “A big, gorgeous, always prepared Boy Scout.”
“I’m an optimist.” He laid the condom on the coffee table and dropped to his knees. “But you can change your mind at any time. I’m willing to take this slow if you want to. I can be patient when it comes to you.”
She reached for him. “I don’t need patience. I need more.”
Oh, he could give her so much more. He needed more, too. He dipped his head down and took one of those tight nipples into his mouth, sucking her hard. He felt a shiver go through her and her hand found his hair, sinking in and holding him there.
“It’s been so fucking long,” she whispered. “Please don’t stop. It feels good.”
When they’d settled into whatever this was going to become, he would slowly introduce her to D/s. She would never want a full-time submissive role, but she would enjoy it in the bedroom. She’d given over perfectly to him the minute he’d taken control. She was reacting to him beautifully, her needs seeming to dovetail with his own.
He could have plenty of vanilla sex, but any relationship would have a touch of kink. He needed it. It was time to leave the party boy behind and get serious about life. It was odd to think he’d been hesitantly ready to test the waters with Kristy a few weeks back. That had been a mistake he’d been saved from. He’d been cautious with her, wanting the relationship more than the woman herself. He couldn’t say that about Jules. There was no caution with her. He was jumping right in the deep end with this woman.
He moved to the other breast, laving it with affection. When he was ready, he started moving down her body, kissing and licking as he began to make his way to his final destination. “I’m glad to hear you think about me because I haven’t been able to get my mind off you since that night you came and saved me with Rafe. Did I thank you for that?”
“I consider this a proper thank you,” she replied. “I’m surprised you had time to think about me with all those women coming in and out of your place.”
He winced, kissing her belly button and letting his tongue play there. “That was me sliding back into bad behavior.”
She shook her head. “No apologies. I don’t hold that against you, Javi.”
They hadn’t been together then. Now they were. “You truly are perfect. Do you know what I thought about most? I thought about how you would taste. I thought about getting my mouth right here.”
He covered her pussy with his mouth and had to hold her down when she nearly came off the couch.
This was what he’d wanted to do, hold her down and make a meal out of her. He moved between her legs, making a place for himself. He settled in and spread her labia gently, not wanting to miss an inch of her flesh. He glanced up her body, loving how her head was thrown back in pure ecstasy.
He eased a finger inside her while his tongue worked her clit. Tight. She was going to grip his dick like a vise. He wouldn’t last long once he was in there, but he could make sure she was primed and ready to go over the edge with him.
He curled a finger inside her, every ounce of his focus on her response. He wanted to learn exactly how to touch her, how she liked to be licked, where she needed him to suck her softly or pull her flesh into his mouth with purpose.
They would have plenty of time. After Rafe came home, he would be able to settle his brother in for the night and then sneak over here to be with her. Having her close would be a godsend.
This was how he planned to spend his nights. Right here between her legs. He sucked on her clit and he was glad the storm was loud because there would have been no way their neighbors didn’t hear her screaming out his name.
He came up on his knees and stroked himself, rolling the condom on. There was no reason to wait. He could take her and start this out right.
“You’re gorgeous everywhere, aren’t you, Leones?” Jules wrapped her legs around his waist. “And you’re every bit what was advertised.”
A little alarm rang through his system, but she pressed her pelvis up, sliding her pussy along his cock, and he let the thought float away. All that mattered was getting inside her. This was what everyone had talked about. When it was right, it was easy to sink in and give over.
He pressed inside. She was tight, but so wet he needed little force. Still, she held on to him and he eased his way, thrusting in and pulling out in short bursts. He took her inch by inch until she had all of him. Her nails dug into his back, the pain lighting him up as he thrust with purpose. He let himself go because he could feel she was close again. He pressed his body into her, rotating and hitting her clit with every powerful thrust.
Her eyes went wide as she came again and Javier fucked her hard. Every bit of his focus was on one thing, bringing her as much pleasure as he could before the inevitable happened. Her head fell back and she moaned again.
He couldn’t hold out any longer. It was too good. He felt the tingle at the base of his spine and then he was the one who was shouting over the storm. Pleasure coursed through his body and when he was done, he fell against her, completely weak.
Her hand stroked down his back as he came down from the high.
“That was exactly what I needed,” she said with a husky chuckle.
It was what he needed, too. He cuddled close and realized how long he’d waited for this woman. He’d thought it would be hard to deal with, but Eric had been one hundred percent correct. When the woman was right, giving in was easy.
Javier laid his head on her breast. Pretty breast. “When I’ve got some strength again, I’ll move us to the bed and prove that you haven’t had everything you need yet.”
“I’ll hold you to that,” she replied.
That was exactly what he was counting on.