Rocco
“I’ve just been busy, Mom. No, nothing’s going on. What do you mean, bikers? Why would I be hanging around with bikers?”
At some point in the night we moved into the bedroom. I stand up and go to the door, pressing my ear against it. It’s clear that Simone is on the phone. Either that or her mom has the quietest voice imaginable. I feel stupid standing here naked, but I need to hear her.
“No, Mom! I have more important things to do than hang around with a bunch of bikers. Please, just stop talking about it! For God’s sake! Will you just leave it, okay? I’ll think about it. I said I’ll think about it, didn’t I? Yes, that’s what think about it means! What do you want me to say, I’ll go on a date with him this morning? I’m busy, Mom. I have things to do. The MGM accounts for one thing . . .”
I go to the bed and sit down, wondering what else I expected. Why would Simone be honest about me? She’s not exactly going to call her mom and say, “Hey, did you know I fucked a biker last night, just like Cecilia did, and I know it broke one of your daughter’s hearts but just trust me that it won’t break another.”
But even if I understand it on some level, I think about last night, about how close we were. It was damn weird and damn amazing. It was like nothing I’ve ever felt with a woman. I didn’t really know what was going on. It was like the two of us were dancing, completely in sync, but we hadn’t rehearsed at all. It was like riding at the back of a line of bikes with the wind in my face and the slipstream making me faster, feeling like this is the only place I belong. And now she’s out there pretending like none of it happened.
She’s from a different world, I remind myself. Even if last night was amazing for us both—and it was amazing for her, I know that—she still has to play her rich-girl games. She still has to lie to her snooty parents. That’s just the way it is. Maybe that’s the way it’ll always be.
I wonder why I lied to her about the man in the forest. I dragged him off and I hit him and hit him until he was on his face, and then I throttled the bastard right there in the woods. The reason it took me a while to get back to her was that I was calling Beast to deal with the body. What point was there lying to her if she’s embarrassed by me anyway?
I think about going to the door again but decide against it. Instead I go around the room collecting my clothes. Some of them are in the living room but I pull on my underwear and my T-shirt, and then sit on the bed, legs stretched out, clicking my neck from side to side. Last night was like magic. It was something I had never experienced, had never dreamed of experiencing. I opened up to her and now she’s talking to her mom like even the idea of being with me is laughable. I know I’m being sensitive, letting emotions get to me in a way I never have before, but I can’t help it. I’m learning that you can’t let someone in by an inch. You let them in by an inch and before you know it they’re all the way in, and there’s jack you can do to change it.
The bedroom door opens. Simone pokes her head in, smiling. “Morning, you,” she says. She’s smiling, looking sexy and playful in her pink tank top and pink pajama shorts. “I didn’t realize you were up.”
“I’m up,” I mutter. I can’t meet her eye. I’m afraid if I do I’ll confront her about the phone call, and I don’t want to do that. I’ve never been much good at relationship arguments. And I’m done groveling to her. I’m done making myself look like a damn fool. I’m starting to get pissed just sitting here. I jump to my feet.
She takes a step back, looking at me like I’ve gone mad. Maybe I have. “Do you want some breakfast?” she asks.
“I killed that man in the forest,” I say, walking past her into the living room.
I’m kicking on my jeans when she follows me, shaking her head slowly. “What do you mean?” she says.
“I mean exactly what I said. That man in the forest—the Demon bastard who tried to rape you—he’s dead.”
“But you said you didn’t kill him.”
“I lied,” I say, buckling my belt.
“You lied?”
“Are you a parrot or somethin’, Simone? Yeah, I lied.”
“There’s no need to be rude!” she snaps, looking for a moment like a rich girl talking down to me. I push the image away.
“I’m just telling you the truth,” I say. “What the fuck did you think I’d do? Pat him on his back and send him on his merry way? The prick tried to rape you. I came across him thumping you in the back and . . . Goddamn, Simone. I’d kill him a thousand times over. I don’t regret it at all.”
“I . . .”
I take a step forward, standing directly opposite her. “He was a fuckin’ scumbag. His name was Macky Hill. He’s raped three women that the police know of and probably five times that besides. He only got off because of his Demon connections.”
“How do you know that?” she says. “You could be lying now.”
“I checked his license and called Beast, who called our police contact. It didn’t take more than a couple of minutes.”
She looks deep into my eyes. The anger in her expression confuses me. She’s really going to stand there accusing me of lying when a few minutes ago she was acting like I didn’t exist. And yet beneath the budding anger I feel sorry, sorry that we’re standing up in the living room instead of lying down in the bedroom, sorry that we can’t push past this and be together again. It’s like we’re destined to come together and then fall apart right away.
“I don’t know what to think about this,” she says. “I . . . listen, I want to be with you, Rocco. I really want to be with you. Last night was . . . I can’t even explain last night. But I’m not going to stand here and tell you that you’re my knight in shining armor for killing this man. I just can’t.”
“It was my fault he was there anyway,” I say honestly. “Last night you said you didn’t want to think about that. Well, think about it now. You’ve probably been going over it in your head anyway.”
“Why are you being like this?” She narrows her eyes. “What’s gotten into you? I want to be with you. That’s what I’m saying. But—”
“How long is it until somebody else sees us together? Another Demon? And maybe next time I won’t be there to save you. And here you are basically telling me I’m scum for killing a man who tried to fuckin’ rape you.”
“You heard, didn’t you?” she says after a pause. “My phone call with Mom. You heard it.”
I turn away. “I need to get to the club. I’m president now, and my men are dying and bleeding. They need me to be strong.” I make for the door.
“I had to lie to her!” Simone snaps, chasing me. She grabs my shoulder. “I couldn’t tell her. You must know that.”
“Cecilia told them about Shotgun, I bet. I don’t know for sure, but I bet she did.”
“Are you really going to use Cecilia as an example? Is that really your grand plan to win me over?”
“Win you over?” I break out, spinning on her. “Who the fuck said I wanted to win you over? If you want someone to grovel for you go and find some pampered rich kid. I’m fuckin’ done.”
Her mouth hangs open for a second. She begins shaking her head again, and then swipes her hand through the air and curls her upper lip. “Did you really just say that to me?” she says.
I turn back to the door. “I almost got you raped and killed last night, Simone. Maybe you were right to lie about me to your mom. Maybe I should stay away.”
“Well, maybe you should, then! If that’s how you feel!”
It’s not how I feel, I reflect as I walk down the stairs. It’s not how I feel at all. I walk across the street, half of me wanting to charge back up there and make up with Simone, the other half wanting to leave as quickly as possible.
Heading into the alleyway where the jeep is parked, I notice a piece of paper stuck under the windshield wiper. It reads: We’re almost even now, Rocco. Macky for Shotgun and Cecilia for our boys. We’re gonna gut that bitch. I never thought you’d fuck your boss’s lady. You must be a bigger asshole than we guessed. You know who this is.
I climb into the driver’s seat, my teeth clench so hard my temples ache. They don’t know that Cecilia has a twin. They think Cecilia is Simone. They think I’m screwing Cecilia, Shotgun’s fiancée. Are they insane?
I take out my cell and dial Beast.
“Boss.”
“I need protection on Simone twenty-four hours a day. And I need you to send two men down to Venice to watch Cecilia, too.”
“All right, consider it done.”
I hang up, watching Simone’s apartment building, waiting for the protection to arrive. I’m right, I reflect. The more time I spend with Simone, the more danger I put her in. It’d be Gerald Hightower’s dream to take me and Simone out at the same time—or me and Cecilia, as he’d see it. Clipping the president and the princess in one hit.
I have to stay away from her.