CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
Tears of Pain
Nico
Two months later…
I can’t help the shit eating grin on my face. It was confirmed yesterday that I will be having a son. A beautiful little boy. Reese is five and a half months pregnant and she is just stunning. Her baby bump has started to really show and I love the sight of it.
“What happened to letting your woman pick all this shit out,” Michael grumbles beside me as he looks down at his phone.
“Tell Sim I said hello,” I reply. I know he is texting Symphony. It is the only time he becomes this grumpy.
I don’t even touch the topic of Symphony, or Sim as we all call her. If you want to talk Donati secrets, there’s Pandora’s box. I leave that shit to Uri and Annabella. Today, I am too happy to even be sucked into his bad mood.
I finally talked Reese into decorating the nursery. We are meeting with a designer later this week, but I couldn’t help myself. After a game of football with my brothers, Bobby, Marcus, and Sam Mairettie and Nate and Jasper Briggs, I decided to look for some baby furniture to surprise Reese with.
It has been a good day. The game was more of a business meeting with a bit of fun. Uri, Nate, Sam and I are getting ready to start a new venture together. I have thought about getting into venture capital and when I mentioned it to Uri, he set the ball in motion.
We signed the contracts, then hit the pitch to celebrate. It felt good. I can honestly say that I am happy with where my life is going. Sam even seemed to be in a lighter mood this morning. I think things are starting to settle for him.
I was happy to share with the guys that I have a son on the way. I’ve known all along that we would be having a boy. I just felt it in my bones. That is why this smile has taken a permanent residence on my face.
I stand in front of the mahogany crib staring down into it, imagining my son sleeping inside. I know this is the perfect one for my little one. I can see myself kissing him goodnight, each night before taking his mother to bed to make more little bambinos. Reese is going to make an amazing mother and wife.
I have wanted, to propose, but I know Reese. With her, things have to be just right. It is okay, I have a plan. She will get the time to adjust to the changes in our lives and then I will make her my wife.
Things always work out, I think to myself and wave the sales clerk back over to me. I know what I want. Just as the clerk walks over my phone rings. I smile when I see it is Reese calling.
“Hello, Cara,” I croon into the phone after answering and placing it to my ear.
“Nico,” Reese sobs, causing my entire body to freeze.
“What is it, Cara? What’s going on, Reese,” I rush into the phone. I have already waved off the clerk and started for the exit. I don’t even check to see if Michael follows me as I take off running.
“I started spotting this morning after you left. It was light at first. I didn’t want to worry you. I knew you had that important meeting. I went to the doctor and they sent me home and told me to stay off my feet. Nico,” she sobs my name. “It was fine at first and then it got worse and I…I went to pee and I felt it. I’m losing our baby, Nico.”
“Fuck,” I roar as I jump in the car and wave to Tony to step on it. I am vaguely aware that Michael has climbed into the car as well. “Listen to me, Baby. You don’t know that. We will get you to the hospital and they will take care of you. You have to calm down, Baby. I’m on my way.”
“It’s too late, Nico. I know it’s too late. Why Nico, why? We just saw him moving,” Reese’s soul snatching sobs reach into the phone, ripping my heart to shreds.
I can’t stop my own tear that slips free. “I don’t know, Baby,” I choke out a whisper, feeling so helpless. I bite down on my fist and then I punch the dashboard as I totally lose my shit. I am wrecked at hearing her pain and not being there to comfort her.
It is my job to protect her, it is my job to give her anything she wants and I have failed. I know the one thing Reese wants more than anything is a baby. The way her face lit up in doctor’s office yesterday proved that all too well.
She looked so relieved to see our healthy baby boy. Now that joy could all be gone. I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do. My own heart is hurting. I feel a rage I have not felt in so long, but the helplessness is what’s consuming.
My son. I’m losing my son.
~B~
Reese
Today started off like any other day. Everything was fine, I was a little tired, so I decided to let the others handle the clinic today. Brenda has been a great help and I know she and the others would be fine without me.
I was so happy when I kissed Nico goodbye as he left for his meeting. I just planned to veg out on the couch. All I did was reach for a novel off the shelf Nico filled with books for me. It was not that far a reach at all.
I set the book down on the couch so I could pee, before I got comfortable for the rest of the day. When I went to wipe I noticed the light pink on the tissue. I wiped again and the tissue came away a little darker pink, along with a sticky film.
I wanted to freak out then, but I held it together and called the doctor’s office. I called a cab because I didn’t want to bother Nico. I know the meeting today is important to him. Uri, Nico, Nate, and Sam are starting an investment firm. Nico has a tendency to get bored quickly, so he was really excited to have something to do with his time until the baby gets here.
After a quick examination, I was released. The bleeding had stopped. The doctor didn’t seem to be concerned, even with my history. He sent me home and said to rest for the next few days, just as a precaution.
I came home to do just that. I put on my pajamas and crawled into bed. I even managed a nap. It was when I woke up that I went to the bathroom and found my pajama bottoms covered in blood.
I stood to clean up so I could find my phone and call Nico. That’s when I felt it. The tug in my stomach, followed by my baby passing through my legs. The deep sob that tore through me shook my very soul, but the sight of my little boy laying on the floor is what slayed me.
I didn’t have the heart to tell Nico all of this over the phone. I sent a text to Alee and Valentina, then I called Nico. Hearing the pain in his voice. I couldn’t tell him that I am sitting on the bathroom floor, staring at our baby.
I couldn’t push out the words to tell him how much physical pain I am in. I should probably call an ambulance. I should probably get up to clean myself up, but right now I don’t know how to move.
“Baby, are you still there,” Nico says brokenly into the phone.
“Yes,” I whimper.
“Fuck,” Nico bellows. I know he has moved away from the phone to do so, but it is still loud enough for me to hear. When his voice comes back through the phone it tears my heart a little more. Nico is always so strong. I have watched him be strong for everyone else in the past few months. Hearing his voice sound so broken kills me a little more inside. “I’m almost there, Baby. I’m so sorry, Cara. I’m so fucking sorry.”
“Oh no,” I hear someone gasp.
I look up to see Alee with a shaky hand over her mouth as she stares at my little boy on the bathroom floor. Valentina is standing next to her with tears in her eyes. For once, I am grateful for that key Valentina has.
Valentina snaps into action snatching a towel and covering the bloody baby that Alee and I are still staring at. I feel like I am watching all of this from outside of my body. None of it makes sense.
I curl into a ball as my body is racked with pain. I hear Alee on the phone talking to someone. It is only when I realize that I’m no longer holding my phone, that I know she must be talking to Nico.
“Come on, Sweetie. Let’s get some pants on you. Help is on the way. We need to get you covered up,” Valentina coos as she peels my soiled pants from my ankles.
Somehow I am in fresh pants when a frantic Nico bursts into the rapidly crowding bathroom. I’m being lifted from the floor, into his arms before I know it. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my face into his shoulder.
“We called an ambulance,” I hear Valentina say.
“I’m not waiting,” Nico growls, not stopping as he exits the bathroom and heads out of the apartment without missing a step. “I’m here now,” Nico murmurs against my forehead as we enter the elevator. “I’m here.”
~B~
Nico
I will forever remember the scene I walked in on in our master bathroom. I lost my shit when Alee took the phone from Reese to tell me what she and Valentina found. My son was under that towel.
The baby I had just been looking to buy a crib for was lying on the floor. I thought I knew pain when I was shot. There is no pain I have known that is greater than this. Seeing Reese curled up in pain, knowing our baby…just thinking it make it hard to breathe.
I haven’t left Reese’s side since I arrived to find her in the bathroom. With the exception of when they took her for a D and C procedure, but I waited right here in the private hospital room I demanded she have. I don’t care if they don’t plan to keep her overnight. I want her as comfortable as possible while she is here.
So here I sit, waiting for her to wake. I’m sitting here with my hoodie pulled over my head so that no one can see the tears that won’t stop flowing. My sweats are still covered in blood. A screaming reminder that my son is no more.
“Nico,” Reese’s voice rasps, breaking into my thoughts.
I quickly wipe my tears away and push my hoodie back. Reese is staring at me with sad eyes. She looks so small and fragile lying in that hospital bed.
I lift to my feet and move over to the bed. I toe off my shoes and move to climb into the bed beside her. I tuck her into my arms and bury my face in her hair. I inhale her scent.
“We will try again,” I say into her hair. “I promise you, Reese. We will try as many times as we need. We will have a baby, I promise.”
“Ti amo,” Reese whispers. I feel her body grow heavy as she drifts off to sleep in my arms.
“Ti amo,” I whisper anyway.