CHAPTER SEVEN
Mrs. Grumpy
Reese
Two Months later…
I’m so pissed at myself. It’s me, I let Ty get away with murder. I actually told myself that things were getting better. After the night he finally came home to actually spend time with me, I thought he was changing. I thought things were changing. I pushed away my premonitions and tried to focus on us and rebuilding our marriage. For two whole months, Ty was up my ass like he lost something in there.
Even when he had team obligations, he flew out and right back to be with me. He surprised me with a brand new Maserati, one day out of the blue, just because. On the weekends, we’ve gone on all types of dates; dinner and a movie, sailing, skating, and even bike riding.
So you can imagine my surprise, when I get home last night, to find his travel bag gone, once again without a word, just like before. No note, no call, nothing. I had to call him. I don’t know how I am so surprised.
I think what pisses me off the most, is that I started my period this morning. Ty has fucked me every which way from Sunday and yet I am still not pregnant. I feel like such a failure as a woman. Four years and not one pregnancy since.
I should never have come into work. I am in such a shitty mood and Nico hasn’t been any better. Valentina and Vita haven’t shown up today. I think Valentina had an appointment with her OB, she is seven months along now and getting huge.
I should be excited for my friend, and I am, but it still stings a bit right now. I’m just so frustrated. This is not supposed to be my life. I’m just tired of it all.
“Damn it, Nico, don’t give up on me now,” I growl as Nico does a half ass job of lifting weights.
The weights touch down with a clink beside him and Nico sits up, snapping in my direction. We have been on the mat with me at his side, while he works on his shoulder. With the energy rolling off of him and his eyes narrowed at me, I feel small and lean away from him.
“I don’t know what your problem is today, Bella. But you will not yell at me like some child,” Nico hisses out. “Furthermore, I will not put my body at risk. Your head is not here, Reese. You have been somewhere else since you arrived. You are not focused on me or my body.”
He is right, and I instantly feel like garbage. Tears well in my eyes from all the emotions I have been bottling up. I don’t know where my life is going anymore. I don’t know what has happened to the fairytale I was promised, but this is not it.
I can’t fight back the tears any longer as I look away from Nico in shame. I should never have come here today. Finding Ty gone last night and starting my period this morning, were the last straws. I don’t think I can do this anymore. Everything I am feeling just spills over and I have no way of controlling it.
~B~
Nico
Way to go, Nico. I chide myself in my head.
I feel like complete shit. I didn’t mean to snap at Reese. I am just pissed off that she has that sad look in her eyes once again. It had faded a little over the past two months.
I like to think of her as a friend, she has grown to be a part of my life. Reese has opened up to me more than I think she would have wanted, and I take pride in that. Something tells me she doesn’t give her secrets away easily. So today has more than pissed me off, because for the first time since I first met her, she has spent our entire time together closed off from me.
“I’m sorry,” Reese sobs.
I blow out a heavy breath and wrap my arms around her small body, pulling her into my chest. “Shh, hush, Bella,” I whisper into her hair, but she only cries harder. “Tell me, what is it? How can I make it better?”
“You can’t make it better,” she chokes out. “I’m so tired, Nico. I always find a way to fix everyone else, but I have ignored this for so long. I haven’t tried to fix anything in my own life. I’m a healer, Nico, nevertheless, I haven’t gotten pregnant in four years. I find solutions to problems, yet, I know in my heart that something is very wrong with my marriage. Still, I’ve once again done nothing.
“Honestly, I think I have allowed this to go on with my body because I know Ty is doing wrong. No Nico, you can’t fix this, the only person that can is me. And I have to want to,” she sobs.
I rub circles on her back and rock her from side to side like my mama used to do me. My heart hurts for her. My blood is boiling with rage for her piece of shit husband. He doesn’t deserve her and I had a feeling all along that the change in her today had something to do with him.
“I want you to remember that when you are ready, you are not alone in this. You don’t have to fix this alone. Yes, you have to want to, Bella, and I hope you find the desire to soon. Before this eats away at you, but when you are ready, I am here. You will not have to do this alone,” I reassure her.
“Thanks, Nico. I’m sorry,” Reese pulls out of my arms and wipes at her face. She refuses to look at me as she puts some distance between us.
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I know I smell a bit, but you can cry on me a little longer if you like,” I tease to lighten the mood.
Reese cracks a genuine smile. She nudges my arm. “I think I have embarrassed myself enough for one day,” she murmurs with a sad smile.
“Why should you be embarrassed? You have shared worse with me. Remember the story you told me of walking to work with your dress tucked into your stockings. Now that, was embarrassing,” I tease and bark out a deep laugh as I remember the story she shared with me.
Reese groans and rolls her eyes. A small laugh bursts from her full lips as she wipes at her eyes with the tissue she pulls from her pocket. “I don’t know why I told you about that. I knew I was going to regret that one,” she snorts.
“I loved that one. It was almost as good as the one you told me about walking in on your dad going down on your mom,” I chuckle.
“Oh my God, I can’t believe how much I have told you. I never told anyone else of those stories,” this time she gives me a real laugh that brighten her whole face.
“Yes, and you know all of my dirty secrets as well,” I lift a pointed brow. “Are we forgetting about the toilet paper story?”
Reese’s face lights up as she doubles over with laughter. I knew that one would do the trick. I once told her how my teammates took all the paper from the washroom, in my hotel suite. We had gone out for Moroccan food and they all knew I had a shit stomach for the stuff.
You can imagine how that night ended. I brought Reese to tears the first time I told her that story. My heart swells to see it work once again. This time she is swiping away happy tears when she looks back up at me. Her face softens as she looks me in the eyes. I know she knows what I am doing.
Reese has come to know me as well as I know her. I clear my throat, when I realize that we are just staring at each other. I look down at my palms as if they can tell me how to turn back time. I would turn it back to before she met her husband, to a time when I could cup her sweet face and devour her plump lips. A time, when I could make her mine and cause her to smile all the time.
“I lost my son, when I was six months pregnant,” Reese starts causing me to lift my head and look at her. “Ty and I were so happy then. I found out I was pregnant right after the honeymoon. We had always planned to have a big family,” she pauses and releases a deep breath. Shaking her head, she continues. “They don’t know what happened. I just lost him. One day I was fine, the next I started spotting and it didn’t stop.
“I was devastated. The doctors made it sound so natural for this to happen. They told me I was young, I had time,” she laughs bitterly. “Right, well, I haven’t gotten pregnant since. That was four years ago. At first, I thought Ty was reacting to the loss of our son. I thought all of our problems stemmed from that.”
She stops talking for a few minutes and I just observe her. She is fidgeting with her fingers in her lap. Her long lashes are low, creating long shadows on her cheeks. She blinks and I can see the moisture collect on them. It takes everything in me not to reach for her and pull her into my lap. Her breath hitches as she goes to continue.
“Now that I think about it. I think I have been missing so much for so long. I swear Nico, I love Ty with everything I am, but something is not right. I can feel it. I’ve been trying to ignore it for so long, but it is starting to wear on me. I think I deserve better, you know,” she looks up into my eyes with her last words.
I can’t reply the way I want to, so I clench my jaw and give her a curt nod. She does deserve better and I want to give her better. As I look into her face, I see Reese the most vulnerable I have ever seen her. Her eyes are pleading for understanding and it is something else that guts me into a million pieces, because I can’t give it to her.
She laughs lightly. “Was that too heavy for our sharing time,” she whispers.
“No, you can tell me anything. I will always be here when you need me,” I reply sincerely.
“Why aren’t you taken, Nico?” she says with a sad smile.
“I am,” I say as I look deep into her eyes. “My heart belongs to someone. I just can’t have hers.”
Reese’s breath shutters through her lips and she once again looks away from me. “There’s this song, it’s about a woman that wants this guy, but she is in a relationship. So she tells him she’ll see him next lifetime,” Reese gives a soft laugh.
“Erykah Badu,” I say with a smile on my lips.
Reese snaps her head back in my direction. “Yeah, how’d….”
“I told you, I love music. You’d be surprised by the songs I know. You have a lot to learn about me, Reese,” I laugh.
“I guess I do. I appreciate you being a friend, Nico. My girls are there when I need them, but they have never liked Ty. If I go to them with this, I will get a bias response. Right now, I just need someone to listen. Thank you,” she says.
“You’re welcome, but Reese,” I say making sure to catch her eyes.
“Yes?”
“If he fucks up, and you decide to leave him. Game on, Baby. I’m not waiting for a next lifetime. I’m claiming what should be mine,” I say with conviction.