Gemma

“Gemma, wake up.” 

I heard Keenan’s voice and turned towards the sound. “I am tired. Go away Keenan.”

“I want to go out for dinner. Come on and get up.”

I was exhausted because the drive back from the festival was a long one and after a full day of activities, I was just plumb tuckered out. I wanted to sleep, but my husband was insistent and even though I wanted to hit him, I finally opened my eyes.

“It’s dark outside.”

“I had a meeting with your father that ran over or I would have been here sooner.”

I knew my face changed. I didn’t want to hear about my father and Keenan’s business. That was what got me into this mess to begin with and I had a feeling that even though I told myself I didn’t care, I would.

So I let him tell me how great it was going and how my father had fostered a deal that Keenan had thought was possible. He was in love with dad and this wasn’t the first time that I had felt second rate to him. My dad was a money wizard and everyone around him struck gold.

That left me married to a man that wanted to strike it rich, even though he already was and I hated that his plan was going so well. I knew that it was because of dad that he was going to take off in his career, but where did that leave me?

It left me stupidly falling for a man that couldn’t see past the numbers in his bank account. In no world was he right for me and the more I thought about it, the more I was sure that I was just setting myself up for failure thinking anything about it.

“Are you even listening to me Gemma?”

I was barely awake and my mind had wandered. I certainly wasn’t thinking about what he was saying or even hearing it for that matter. I got up and pushed the sheet away and heard him hiss from above me.

“What? I am listening. I am just getting up.”

Keenan didn’t answer me and I finally looked over at him to see what he was making that sound for. His dark eyes were staring at me and it took a minute for it to register to me the look that was on his face. I looked down and made a sound of my own.

“Go Keenan. I will be out in a minute.”

His mouth was agape as he didn’t budge. I grabbed the sheet that I had just moved off of me and covered up my naked body. Why hadn’t I realized that a little bit sooner?

“Sorry, I didn’t realize that I was naked.”

Keenan still hadn’t moved but the look in his eyes was predatory as they met mine.

“Go Keenan!”

The raise in my tone seemed to snap him out of it, but he was still not all that quick about getting out like I asked. His gaze had taken in every inch of my body and by the way he looked, he really liked what he saw. I am not saying that it wasn’t flattering, but it had my whole body on fire with a blush that had creeped over me rapidly.

I went to the door and locked it before I let the sheet fall to the floor. I couldn’t believe that he had caught me like that, but his reaction was one that I wouldn’t likely forget any time soon.

Getting dressed, I hurried and just threw on a short black dress that I wear out a lot. My hair that was tied in a knot on top of my head I let tumble down my shoulders. Pushing a few fingers through the mane, I was done. I wasn’t going to get all fancy because he wanted to go out.

“So are you ready to go?”

He looked at the dress and then my hair. There were still flames in his eyes and I felt no less naked then I did a few moments ago.

“Yeah Gemma. You look great.”

“Is it fancy enough?”

His dark expression didn’t lighten up as he nodded his head. “Anything you wear is right.”

“Except for the wrap huh?”

Keenan didn’t find my comment funny, but I found it hilarious. His reaction to it was even better and I was having far too much fun with it all.

“I just don’t like guys looking at you like that.”

“Like what? The way you are looking at me now?”

He frowned and I smiled bigger. At least I got to mess with him if he was going to wake me up and make me go out. I wasn’t expecting much and when we pulled up at the restaurant a while later, I got exactly what I figured I would.

The place was nice and though I hadn’t been there before, I remember a couple of people talking about it. It was pricey but hopefully had some good food. I wasn’t that hungry, but it was nice to see Keenan again. Last night had been pretty intense and not seeing him again all day was hard because I had wanted to make sure that we were going to be okay.

I’d turned him down and now he was acting a little different. I don’t know why it bothered me so much, but being here I hoped that he would see that I was going to try to get along. There were just some lines I wasn’t going to be able to cross. I shouldn’t cross them.

We sat down and I wished that I hadn’t teased him. He turned into a sour mood and when he asked me the next question, I almost spit out the water that I had just taken a sip of.

“What?”

“You called me Raphael the first night we stayed together in the tent. You kissed me, rather passionately and I have to wonder who that is.”

I didn’t know what to say. My heart was pounding in my chest and I took a deep breath before I continued.

“He was an old acquaintance of mine. I don’t know why I would be dreaming about him.”

“Were you two intimate?”

The question was out of line, the same one I had tried not to cross.

“Why would you ask that?”

“Because I have to know.”

“Why do you have to know? I don’t understand you. You are so possessive. Do you really want to compare notes?”

“There are notes?”

I sighed and looked around for the waiter. I was going to need something a little stiffer than water if this was how this conversation was going to go. I didn’t want to argue with him, but it was clear that Keenan had some things to get off of his chest and my side stepping his questions didn’t seem to be helping matters at all.

“No, there are no notes. I wasn’t intimate with Raphael in a way that you are thinking of. It was innocent and I loved him if you must know.”

That got him to shut up and then it was Keenan that didn’t want to meet my gaze.

“I have never loved anyone.”

“That makes me sad for you.”

“What happened?”

“With what?”

“With you and Raphael.”

I didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew if I said one thing, it would lead to another question, much like it was doing right now. Every time I said something, he wanted to know more and I didn’t want to give him more.

“He died.”

I didn’t add anything more to it and I hoped that it would change the subject.

“I am sorry to hear that. I didn’t know.”

“It’s fine, really. It was a long time ago, before I even started college, so it’s not a big deal now.”

“Well he must have meant a lot to you to still think about him enough to dream about him.”

“We were engaged.” I stopped myself and shook my head. I didn’t want to tell him all of that and I shut my mouth. It just spilled out and I forgot how long it had been since I had even said his name when I was awake. I missed him. He’d been free like me and he was the few moments of sanity that I got away from my daily life. I wished more than anything for an outlet like him now.

“Oh. So does your father know about this?”

“Of course he does, though I think he was happy about it. He would never dare say anything to my face. He didn’t think that Raphael was good enough for me. He didn’t come from a good family and he hadn’t made his fortune yet, so dad thought he was just trash that would amount to nothing.”

“I am sorry to have brought up something so personal. I was jealous and now I wished that I hadn’t put my foot in my mouth.”

“You didn’t know. It’s okay.”

“It doesn’t feel okay. I feel like a boob.”

I giggled at his terminology and couldn’t be mad at him for long. I know that he didn’t mean to hurt me, so there was no need for me to be upset about it. It was in the past and like I’d said over and over again, it has been quite some time since it happened, but it still hurt to talk about him.

“Did you ever almost get married before, ever engaged?”

He shook his head like that was the very last thing on his mind. I didn’t think he had. I would have read about it and he just didn’t seem like the type for commitment.

“No, nothing that was ever that serious. I don’t think I am meant to get married. Well that is what I thought for most of my life anyways.” I think he forgot for a minute that we were in fact married.

“I felt the same way after Raphael. I told my father I was never going to get married and I think it scared him. This is most likely why he did all of this. He doesn’t want me to be a spinster, although I think it wouldn’t have been that bad. It isn’t going to be much different than it is now. I will get the last laugh when he doesn’t get the grandchildren that he goes on and on about.”

“So you are trying to stick it to your dad?”

I hadn’t really thought about it like that, but there was certainly a lot of animosity between us.

“He hated Raphael and would never let us be together. I just think about all of the time we would have had together if he wouldn’t have been so adamant against him. I mean, look at you. He practically blackmailed you to marry me. If he would have been that way towards Raphael, I could have seen him so much more in the little time that we had together.”

“That is a lot to put on your old man. He must not have really known how you felt. When you are young, emotions are even stronger and can feel like more than they really are.”

I frowned at him and told Keenan he sounded just like my dad.

“I don’t know what to say Gemma. I had this going so much better in my head.”

I chuckled a little bitterly and agreed. “I am sure you did. Nothing like asking about your wife’s dead ex-boyfriend to really get the party started.”

“Can we start over?” He looked at me earnestly and I had to smile his way. He was really cute when he wanted to be. He has this look to him that made it hard to stay mad at him very long. I don’t know what I was going to do with him, he was a true mess, but he was mine for better or for worse.