Chapter Eleven

MAY PASSED, AND then June.

Tanner had planned to return to work, but he had enough money saved from selling the fishing lodge that it was all too easy to fall into a comfortable stay-at-home routine with Jenny. They continued with their morning and afternoon walks and were now physically stronger, but mental baggage still weighed them both down.

He’d built her a porch swing, but it was freestanding and occupied a corner of the back deck. Jenny had planted cheery pots of red and white petunias on either side. He loved watching her enjoy his creation, hugging her baby bump, humming happy songs.

Was she happy? He wanted her to be. Lord knew, he was trying to help.

Fourth of July in Kodiak Gorge was bedlam. Between tourists and locals, he had to park two blocks from the street where the mayor held the annual parade.

The weather was beyond perfect with a clear blue sky and temps in the eighties.

“Sure you want to do this?” he asked Jenny, who’d bought herself a festive red gingham sundress for the occasion. Lord, she looked pretty. With her once-short hair now long enough for pigtails, she could have been a teen. Their baby had grown to the point that she waddled when she walked. He kept it to himself that he thought all of her changes were adorable.

“You said watching the parade was something we always did as a—oh!”

“What’s wrong? Are you sick?”

“No.” She grinned. “The baby kicked extra hard. Maybe at my last sonogram I should have let the technician tell me the sex?”

“I’d rather be surprised,” he said, more than a little jealous. He wanted to feel their baby, too. He craved cupping his hands to Jenny’s rounded belly.

“Why don’t you ever go with me to see the sonogram? Or ask to feel?”

“Feel the kicking?”

“Uh huh.”

“I’d love to be involved in every aspect of your doctor visits and feel the baby kick. I didn’t think you’d want me that close. If you didn’t think you could handle a manicure, I figured you also wouldn’t want me touching you.”

“I assumed you didn’t want to…” She took his hand, guiding his right palm to the peak of her bump, then covering his hand with hers.

When the baby kicked beneath his palm, tears sprung to Tanner’s eyes. “That’s amazing.”

“I know, right?”

“How often does it happen?”

“All the time. Whenever you want to feel, let me know. I don’t mind.”

“Thank you. I will.” Being with her like this made him crave more of the same openness and communication. All this time they’d been together, yet living more like roomies than husband and wife.

Once they’d left the car and walked hand-in-hand toward Main, she asked, “Will there be cotton candy at the parade?”

“Probably. You used to love it—pink.”

“Judging by that sweet smell, I think I still do.”

Tanner found Jenny a seat on a bench, bought her a bag of pink cotton candy, then stood behind her with his hands on her shoulders while float after float drifted by. Most businesses used the same ones each year, but improved upon them.

“Look! Is that Lilianna on the bank float?”

“She works there.” The float featured a log shed that had been decorated with dollar signs and plastic gold coins. Standing out front was an employee wearing a bear costume and Mardi Gras beads. Lilianna stood alongside the dancing grizzly, throwing candy to waving kids.

“How fun! Did we have a float for the fishing lodge?”

“Yeah. It was just one of our fishing boats on a trailer, but you dressed like a sexy Statue of Liberty.” He couldn’t resist leaning lower to whisper, “You looked hot.”

“Thanks.” She grinned. “Do you ever miss it? The lodge—not the float.”

“I do. But it’s okay. It wasn’t your thing and I couldn’t run it alone.”

In between clown cars and the ten-member Kodiak Gorge Marching Band, she said, “I wasn’t very nice.”

“Don’t say that.”

“But why didn’t we run the lodge together?”

“That was the plan, but sometimes things just don’t work out.”

“What if we bought it back?”

“Not possible.”

“We could buy land. Build a new one.”

“That’s a nice dream, but for now, let’s just watch the parade.” Tanner wished he could follow his own advice. All he wanted to watch was Jenny. He loved her so much, yet this woman he shared a house with wasn’t her. Jenny had been fiery and brimming with opinions on everything from paint colors to what they ate to politics. Jenny 2.0 rarely raised her voice, didn’t seem interested in any of the crafting materials he’d bought her, and cared more about watching deer graze in the yard than decorating the house or her nails.

When the parade ended, they joined up with Brody, who watched his infant nephew and now stepson, Donny, while Lilianna finished helping her coworkers stow the float. Rose and Colby were meeting them at the lakeside park for barbecue and dancing.

Since it didn’t get dark this time of year till midnight, fireworks would be the last item on the party agenda.

They found Rose and Colby in the sun-dappled shade of a stand of aspens.

A warm, musky-smelling breeze drifted off the sun-sparked lake that sported a flotilla of float planes from all over the state. A new arrival touched down with barely a splash.

Rose had spread a blue blanket across the velvety grass, but their son Nick was showing off his new walking skills and would much rather explore than sit.

Ten-month-old Donny wanted in on the action, but could only crawl. What he apparently viewed as a grave injustice resulted in a temper tantrum.

“Could I hold him?” Jenny asked Brody. “I’d love some practice before our little one arrives.”

“Be my guest.” Brody plucked his stepson from the grass, brushed off his baby blue jeans and red plaid shirt, then handed him to Jenny. “I’m not sure when Lilianna will finally get here, but I’ll be glad when she does. She’s much better at tackling these situations.”

Rose laughed. “Maybe that’s because when Donny pitches a fit, you let her handle it?”

“Guilty,” Brody admitted.

Tanner’s heart came dangerously close to bursting when seeing Jenny hold Donny. He couldn’t wait to see her with their child. And unlike Brody, Tanner wanted to experience his son or daughter’s every mood.

He wished this day would last forever. The sun. The smiles. The prayer that if he held on long enough, Jenny would once again love him. He had no doubt she liked him—even cared for him—but that was a long way from where he wanted to be.

When they thought no one was looking, Rose and Colby shared kisses and whispers and smoldering looks. Once Lilianna returned thirty minutes later, Brody’s entire face lit to see her. She ran to him, hugging her husband and then their son.

Meanwhile, Tanner stood there like an oaf, mooning over his wife who didn’t even seem to see him. What was he doing wrong? He’d nailed friendship, but where was their former passion? Sex had always been the easy part.

Just when Tanner didn’t think this couples picnic could get more awkward, Hawk and Patrick strolled across the green. Hawk carried a massive red cooler and had canvas totes slung over each shoulder. Patrick’s only contribution to the party was a woman whose coppery hair glinted in the sun.

Tanner did a double take.

No way?

On autopilot, Tanner found himself jogging toward his former nurse, Stephie King, crushing her in a bear hug. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think? I’m here for barbecue and hot single guys—not married old fogies like you.” She punctuated her teasing words with one of her easy grins.

He’d missed her. In an odd way, he missed the hospital when his sole focus had been recovering for Jenny. If he’d known she wouldn’t be there for him at the end of his journey, would he have fought so hard to get better?

“Stephie! You made it!” Rose leapt from the blanket to greet their new arrival. “And I’m happy to see my welcoming committee found you.”

“This crowd is just as fun and rowdy as you promised,” Stephie said after hugging Rose and then Lilianna. “You weren’t kidding about the cute guys, either.” She winked at Tanner. “Who’s got beer?”

“Got it.” Patrick took a sweating can from Hawk’s cooler.

“I see how it is…” Hawk landed a sucker punch to Patrick’s shoulder. “I lug the beer over here, but you get all the credit?”

“Guilty.” Patrick handed the beer to Stephie, then popped open another can for himself. “Who’s up for sniper Frisbee?”

“I’m down,” Hawk dug through one of his totes for a stack of neon green discs.

Stephie cocked her head. “What’s the difference between sniper Frisbee and the regular kind?”

Rose sighed. “The regular kind is fun. This version usually results in a run to the ER for stitches.”

“Hey—” Patrick argued. “I can stitch my own battle wounds.”

Lilianna rolled her eyes. “Brody, you’re not allowed to play. I promised Trace you’d help man the bank’s grill.” Trace Stanton was the bank’s vice president and her boss.

“Not even for like thirty minutes?” Brody whispered something to his wife that made her redden.

“Okay,” she said while laughing with her hands pressed to flushed cheeks. “But only thirty minutes. And you’d better not come back bleeding!”

“Yes, ma’am.” While Hawk passed out three Frisbees to each player, Brody gave his wife a mock salute.

Colby scooped up Nick, planting him in the blanket’s center before chasing after his friends.

“Aren’t you playing?” Lilianna asked Tanner. “We’ll keep Jenny company. I’ve been saving the story of when all of you tough SEALs nearly drowned in the Second Annual Kodiak Gorge Raft Race.”

“For the record,” Tanner pointed to Brody. “That fiasco was all on your husband who never could tie a decent knot.”

“Whatever…” Brody snagged a beer from Hawk’s cooler, then gestured for Tanner to follow. “Hurry up. My leash already got shorter.”

“Thirty minutes!” Lilianna shouted after them.

“Are we doing this in teams or singles?”

“Since I don’t have a clue what’s about to happen,” Stephie said, “I vote teams. Tanner, I pick you.”

“Why would you pick him?” Patrick protested. “He sucks at this game.”

Stephie shrugged. “Guess I’ve always had a thing for underdogs.”

After Hawk outlined the rules which were basically hide-and-seek, but with an ambush attack element, Tanner led Stephie to a stand of pines. He found one with low enough branches for her to easily climb, then they settled in to wait.

“This is kind of a boring game.” Stephie yawned.

“It usually picks up once someone’s bleeding and gets pissed enough for revenge. Until then, settle in for some R & R in a tree.”

“Will do.” After maybe a minute’s silence, she asked, “Are things between you and Jenny as awkward as they seem?”

“You noticed?”

“Sorry, but it was kind of hard not to. I walked in on two of the most adorable families ever, and then there were you two. Jenny looked ready to burst into tears and you looked poised to punch the nearest tree.”

“Come on, it’s not that bad. We’re friends.”

Eyebrows raised she said, “I’m friends with the HVAC guy who’s constantly trying to keep my apartment’s ancient heater chugging along, but that doesn’t mean I want to marry him.”

“Here’s the deal…” He struggled to find the right words. “I love her, but I don’t especially feel in love with her. Somewhere along the way we’ve lost the spark that made us work. I’ll be damned if I know how to get it back.”

“Have you…” She made a crude hand gesture of the sort he’d have expected from one of his SEAL buddies. “…You know?”

“Geez, Stephie. Get your mind out of the gutter. I haven’t even kissed her. She’s pregnant and still fragile from the whole coma thing.”

“She didn’t look all that fragile to me. Her color’s great. When I saw her tickle Lilianna and Brody’s kid, her coordination seemed good. Did you ever think maybe it’s you with the problem?”

“How could I have a problem when all I want is to get my wife back?”

“But how can you do that when you’re not treating her like a wife? Back in the day, would you ask permission to kiss her or hold her or you know…” There she went again with the gesture.

“Stop that. And no way have I done any of those things. Like I said, she’s not all there. How do I know she’d even want me? Since the fire, I’m not the same.”

Stephie sighed. “My vibe changes every ten minutes. Big deal. My advice, knock off the Mr. Friendly routine and make Jenny feel like a wanted woman.”

“But—” Thump! Something hard and green hit his temple. “Ouch. What the—”

“Nailed you!” Hawk stood at the base of the tree looking mighty proud of himself.

Patrick said, “See, Stephie? Told you Tanner’s lousy at this game.”

For the record, it was looking like Tanner was lousy at a lot of things—especially winning back his wife.