Chapter Ten

“THIS IS IT. But like I said, there’s not much to see.”

Once Tanner pulled his SUV alongside the empty lot that had held her home, Jenny removed her seatbelt and opened the door. “Walk me through it. I want to know everything. Where the front door was and the living room. The kitchen and our bedroom.”

He took her hand, walking her the thirty feet where their sidewalk had once been. “This was our front porch. You always wanted a swing. I promised you one for your last birthday, but I ended up going on a rescue for a trout fishing party. Their plane went down a hundred miles north of here. It was a bitch getting to them, but Colby, Brody and I did it. Our friend, Sergei, too.”

“I’m glad you found the fishermen and they were unharmed, but did you do that often?”

“What? Leave on rescue missions? Of course. That’s my job—or, it was.”

“That’s not what I mean. When Hawk and I talked, he said there were lots of times when he stood me up for our dates. He said you were the kind of man who would always put me first, but sounds like that’s not entirely true?”

He grimaced. While he appreciated Hawk’s glowing review, those words were impossible to live up to. His friend should have known that.

“Tanner?”

“You are always first in my heart, but I’ve dedicated my entire adult life to helping others. If it seemed as if I didn’t spend as much time with you as I would have liked, you have to believe it was never personal.”

“But did you ever think that for me it was? I don’t think I’d marry lightly. I also don’t think I’d casually divorce. There had to be reasons.”

“There were. The time thing was a huge issue—never enough. But there were other factors. You hated Alaska. You missed your parents and sister. My whole life is here, yours is there. We never did reach a compromise.”

“I understand.”

They stood there in awkward silence. Their broken past built a wall between them.

Tanner was relieved when she said, “Show me more of our house.”

He stepped past what would have been their entry hall, and then living room. “The TV was here. We had bookcases on either side. You took weeks making beige book covers. You learned calligraphy to write the titles and authors on the spines. At the time, I thought you were crazy, but in the end, it looked cool. Clean and neat. I never told you, and I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” A smile tickled her lips. “Just last month I saw a project like that in a decorating magazine. I tried getting my sister to do it, but she said I was nuts.”

They shared a laugh. And the air suddenly felt easier to breathe.

“Through here was the kitchen. We always talked about getting new appliances. The ones we had were crap. The electric stove was powder blue. It matched the hall toilet.”

“No way?”

“I kid you not. But we did use both to negotiate a couple grand off the asking price.”

“Nice.”

“Down this hall was our guest room, but you used it for crafts. Remind me when we get back to the house to help you order whatever you want online.”

“I will. That sounds fun.”

“Our master bedroom and bath were here. The bed was on this wall. I’d just bought you a rocker I picked up at a yard sale for when you had the baby. The bathroom is where…” He couldn’t bring himself to relive the horror.

“Mom and Dad told me I fell and hit my head on the tub. If it hadn’t been for you, I’d have died of smoke inhalation or worse. They said you were burned because you took too much time saving me.”

“The way I see it, it’s not like I had a lot of options.”

“Did we have pets?”

“No. Not even a goldfish. My friend Sergei’s cat had kittens a couple years back. He offered us a pair so they wouldn’t be lonely, but you said you didn’t want the hassle of a litter box.”

“I’m sorry. What color were the kittens you wanted?”

“Calico.” Lips pressed tight, he turned for the car.

“Based on my unique perspective of being an outside observer,” Jenny said, “sounds like we both played a part in the divorce. For what it’s worth, I’m not proud of mine.”

“Water under the bridge.” He helped her into the car before walking around to climb in beside her. “Have you seen enough?”

She nodded. “Do you think your friends have photos of the house?”

“Our friends. And maybe? We’ll ask.”

He started the engine and pulled away from the curb with a mixed bag of emotions. Sadness, relief, trepidation for their shared future. Or if they’d even share a future at all.

“THANKS SO MUCH for coming,” Jenny held open the door for Rose and pregnant Lilianna, welcoming them inside. It had been two days since Tanner had taken her on the tour of their former home and the weather had turned ugly. Driving rain alternated with sleet that a north wind drove against the windows with enough force that she feared they’d break. But inside, Tanner had built a cozy fire in the hearth. Its soothing warmth made it hard to believe how much damage fire could do when left unchecked. “I figured we could sit at the kitchen table. I made cocoa. I hope you like it. It seemed to suit the day.”

“That sounds delicious,” Rose said, shrugging free of her coat. “I love the new place. Tanner drove us nuts making sure every detail was just right.”

“Remember the sofa fiasco?” Lilianna laughed. “Jenny, you used to have a burgundy-striped Bernhardt that you loved, so Tanner ordered you a lookalike. Only when it was delivered, the stripes were purple. It was hideous—not at all like the online picture. He went nuts. I’ve never seen a guy try so hard to please someone who wasn’t even here. Speaking of which, where is he?”

“He’s on a grocery run. Didn’t want me and the baby out in this weather.”

“Good man,” Rose said. “When I was pregnant, Colby treated me like I was a giant china figurine. He was sweet, though.”

“Brody’s the same. I think since I went through my first pregnancy on my own, guilt has him all the more determined to make my second—”

“He died…” Jenny froze. “Your first husband—what was his name? What was his name? Don’t tell me.” She pressed her fingertips to her forehead. “Brandon. His name was Brandon.” Hot, silent tears slid down her cheeks. “I-I’m so sorry he’s gone.”

“H-how did you know?” Now, Lilianna was swiping tears with the sleeves of her oversized forest green maternity sweater.

“No clue. It makes no sense.”

“Let me show you a picture of him…” Rose took a half-dozen completed scrapbooks from a zipped vinyl tote. “He and Brody were twins.” She opened the top book, flipped to the three-quarters mark, then pointed to a print. “Here’s the two of them skiing at Alyeska.”

“They look happy.”

“They were,” Lilianna said. “It was a good day. We still have good days, but they’re different. I imagine it’s the same for you and Tanner?”

Jenny nodded. “We’ve settled into a routine, taking walks in the morning and afternoon. We don’t talk all that much, but he always holds my hand. I like that.”

“Progress…” Rose said with an easy smile. She was a beauty. With her dark hair, she reminded Jenny of a Disney princess. Snow White? Lilianna, too—only she was blonde. Cinderella?

Rose opened a new scrapbook. “You helped me make this. These photos were Colby’s. He took them before I’d even met him. You and Tanner used to own a fishing lodge. As part of the divorce settlement, he sold it.”

“Did he love it?”

Rose and Lilianna shared a look.

Lilianna said, “It was a tough life for both of you—gratifying, but tourist season was a blur. He took the fire chief job to try spending more time with you. But that backfired when it ended up taking even more of his time than the lodge.”

They flipped through picture after picture.

Album after album.

All of them eventually became a blur. For the most part, Jenny had looked happy. Way more polished. She and Tanner hammed for the camera and more often than not held hands. In one Valentine’s Day photo, they kissed. Why didn’t he kiss her now? In fact, aside from holding her hand on their twice-a-day walks, they rarely touched. She wanted to hug and cuddle and experiment with more. To see if his faintly familiar breath tasted as good as it smelled.

“Could I have this?” Jenny asked, tapping the shot.

“Keep the whole book.” Rose closed it, giving it a light shove across the table. “In fact, keep all of them that feature you and Tanner.”

“But they’re yours.”

“Since you lost your copies in the fire, now, consider them yours.”

“Thank you. I’ll take good care of them.”

“I know you will.” Rose’s smile was as kind as her gift. “Take good care of Tanner, too. He loves you so much. Given time, I know you’ll learn to love him.”

The more Jenny was with him, the more she realized her new friend was right. Maybe a part of her already did love Tanner? But what did he feel for her? Didn’t he want to kiss her?