Sunny

“Welcome to Roxford,” Zeke muttered beside me.

I glanced at him. He’d been quiet, contemplative, the whole trip. But after hearing him on the phone to his mother, the fear I’d heard in his voice, that wasn’t really a surprise.

“Are you okay?” I asked. “I know you’re worried about your dad, but your mom said he was doing okay?”

He was quiet a few seconds, then he glanced at me, and then back at the road. “Yeah, I’m worried.” Zeke drew in a shaky breath. “My dad and me, we’ve always been close, you know. Could talk about anything. I haven’t seen him in a long time—shit, I’ve barely talked to him. He’s not big on using the phone, and I . . .” His jaw tightened. “I should have made more of an effort.”

“Life gets in the way sometimes. I’m sure he understands.” God, I could see how stressed he was. “He’s going to be so happy to see you.”

More silence, and I thought that he was finished sharing, but then he surprised me by carrying on.

“My dad, he’s always been larger than life.” He glanced at me again. “I’ve looked up to him since I can remember, wanted to be just like him.” He sucked in a sharp breath. “I’m not. I let him down, then I vanished.”

“Zeke . . .” I didn’t know what to say.

Zeke’s strong fingers flexed around the steering wheel. “I walked away and I wasn’t here when they needed me most.”

I touched his arm, trying to offer comfort, and the muscle there bunched under my fingers. “They won’t see it that way,” I said. “They love you. They’ll just be happy to have you home.”

He dipped his chin, but said no more.

Nerves assaulted me as I turned away and stared out the window. God, so much had happened in the last twenty-four hours, I’d barely had a chance to process it all. The man who broke into my house was dead, and Zeke . . .

I still couldn’t believe what he said to me. “I want you here, with me, every night, every morning.”

Did he really feel that way? I wanted to trust him, believe in him so badly. Could I? Could I really try and make something real with Zeke, something lasting?

Another wave of nerves hit me.

Meeting his parents was huge. They thought we were already together. I inwardly winced. Was he going to tell them about the baby while we were here? What would he say about our relationship? Would he tell them the truth? I hadn’t asked; with how worried he was, there’d never been a right time. I focused on controlling my butterflies and took in the town of Roxford. I liked it, instantly. Beaches and palm trees, cool, off-beat colored houses. He’d explained on the flight here how busy the town was over the summer months, but in the off-season, it was the complete opposite. Which meant, right now, it was quiet, peaceful. I drew in a deep breath. I loved that I could smell the ocean. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d done that. It really was beautiful.

“This must have been a pretty cool place to grow up?” I said.

He drew in a deep breath, and the expression on his face made me think that it’d only just sunk in that he was here. Home. I couldn’t tell if he was happy about that or not. If he was happy to be home, he certainly wasn’t outwardly showing it. But then Zeke never really gave away much of anything.

Finally, he said, “Yeah.”

It wasn’t very convincing. “When were you last home?” I asked.

His fingers flexed around the steering wheel and a muscle jumped in his jaw. “Over a year ago.”

I bit my lip. I guess he hadn’t been all fired up to come home and possibly run into his cheating ex?

He indicated, drove down a short street then indicated again, turning into a driveway.

Oh God, we were here.

My nerves, that I’d gotten somewhat under control, roared back to life. Never having much of a family of my own, I wasn’t that great with them. Well, I was pretty sure I wasn’t—I hadn’t had much practice.

Zeke turned to me, expression kind of grim. “My mom, she can be a little . . .”

The door to the house in front of us flew open, and a petite woman wearing khaki shorts and a floral shirt came tearing out. “You’re here,” she cried.

“ . . . Enthusiastic,” he finished.

I turned back to her. She had her silvery-blond hair pulled back in a neat bun, and her dark brown eyes were sparkling with happiness. There was no mistaking who she was. Zeke had her hair, and her eyes. Only his didn’t sparkle all that often.

He shoved his door open and caught her up in his arms when she reached him, lifting her off the ground in a warm hug. I sat there for several seconds, stunned by the show of affection, warmed by it. I opened my door and climbed out of the car as well, and as soon as Zeke lowered his mother back to her feet, she flew at me, pulling me into a tight, warm hug. My arms immediately went around her, and I hugged her back.

“It’s so nice to meet you, honey,” she said as she stood back and took me in, and I could tell she meant it. “Goodness, you’re lovely.”

My face heated. “It’s nice to meet you, too.”

She squeezed my hand. “Come on inside. You must be starving.”

I glanced at Zeke. He was watching us, and the expression on his face was one I had no hope of reading. Nothing new there.

We headed inside and Zeke greeted his dad with a handshake. His father pulled him in and they exchanged manly back thumps then stood back. Zeke had gotten his build from his father. Ron Stanton was tall and lean and despite his age, and recent heart attack, looked fit and strong. He greeted me warmly as well, but it was obvious he was a man of few words, like Zeke. I could also see by the way he looked at his son that he was extremely happy to have him home.

The whole scene was foreign to me. When my dad had come home from business trips, he’d usually gone straight to his office. I might see him at dinner, I might not. I knew for a fact he’d never looked at me the way Zeke’s parents looked at him. For some silly reason this made my nose sting and my heart hurt.

I wanted my baby to have that, with both his parents. I wanted to have the kind of relationship with my child that I’d dreamed of having with my own mother. I didn’t want my baby to miss out the way I had . . .

I glanced at Zeke. His eyes were on me. I forced a smile.

His eyes narrowed.

I wasn’t hiding a damn thing, not from him, not anymore.

“Through here,” Jane said, shaking me from my thoughts, thank goodness. I wasn’t excited about the idea of having a mini breakdown in front of Zeke’s family. She led me to the kitchen.

His mom had the table set, waiting for us, and we took our seats while she served up mac and cheese and a big salad.

“Wow, I think I’m in heaven,” I said when Zeke spooned a big helping on my plate.

Jane chuckled. “It’s Zeke’s favorite.”

I smiled at her. “Mine, too.”

She smiled warmly back, and Zeke had that look on his face again, the one I couldn’t interpret.

“Would you like a drink, Sunny, maybe a wine?” Jane asked me.

“No . . . thank you. Water’s fine.”

“It’s a celebration. Are you sure you won’t have one little glass?” Jane said.

“Oh, I . . . um . . .” I felt my face start to heat, which was ridiculous. “I’m not really . . .”

“Sunny doesn’t drink,” Zeke said.

“Oh.” His mom frowned a little. “Well, I think we can do better than water. How about some iced tea?”

I let out a relieved breath. “That would be lovely, thank you.”

The conversation flowed well after that. We chatted away all evening. Well, Jane and I, anyway. The Stanton men said the occasional thing, but mainly sat back and observed. Zeke’s mom was just so sweet and welcoming, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. She thought Zeke and I were a real couple, that her boy had found the woman of his dreams. And that’s not what this was at all. I felt safe taking a wild stab and guessing this wasn’t the way he’d envisioned his homecoming.

Then again, I had no idea what Zeke thought or felt, not one clue what he wanted.

Yes, he said he wanted to be with me, but was I willing to trust it? Risk it? Honestly, I didn’t know if he truly wanted me . . . or if he just thought it was the right thing to do.

“Coffee, honey?” Zeke’s mom asked me after we’d eaten.

I straightened in my seat. “I’ll have tea if you have it?”

Her hand went to my shoulder as she walked by, giving me a warm squeeze. “Sure thing,” she said.

She really was lovely. My nose started stinging again. I took a few steadying breaths, and of course when I looked up Zeke was watching me again.

Crap!

We moved to the living room and Zeke’s dad put on a game. The two of them sat there watching it together, not saying much, but still managing to bond all the same.

We ate cake in the living room and chatted some more. I was starting to feel tired. It’d been a long day and my nerves over meeting Zeke’s family had taken it out of me. I did my best to hide it. I didn’t want to be the reason they cut the night short. But Zeke seemed to catch me every time I stifled a yawn.

When the game finished, he stood. “We’re gonna head off, Ma.”

His mother stood, looking disappointed. “Already?”

“It’s been a long day.” He took my hand and I got to my feet.

Nope. He hadn’t missed that I was tired. But then, the man’s observational skills were honed to perfection.

When it came to seeing other things, like reading emotions in other people for example . . . well, let’s just say the same could not be said.

We headed toward the front door, but I stopped in the hall, looking at a lineup of medals mounted and hung on the wall while Zeke’s mom pulled him in for a hug.

“They’re Zeke’s,” his dad said stopping beside me. “He tell you he was a SEAL?”

I nodded.

“One of the deadliest snipers the military has ever seen. He earned every one of those.”

I turned to Ron and saw that his eyes were glistening. I swallowed the lump forming in my throat. “I don’t doubt it,” I said. “Zeke’s an exceptional man.”

“He is,” his father said.

Zeke’s hand slid back in mine. “Let’s go,” he said. Then to his dad, “See you tomorrow.”

I gave Ron a small smile and followed Zeke out the door.

We were staying at his house just down the street. I was glad about this. I hadn’t been throwing up, but I still felt queasy in the mornings and I never knew when it could sneak up on me. The last thing I wanted was for Zeke’s parents to catch me hurling.

His mother walked us out to the car, then she pulled Zeke into a second hug. “Thank you for coming home,” she said to him.

The muscle in Zeke’s jaw jumped again. “Dad looks pale. What did the doctors say?”

“It wasn’t another heart attack, but he has to take it easy. You know your father, though—getting him to rest is easier said than done.”

Zeke looked down at his mom. “I’ll talk to him before we head back to New York.”

She squeezed his hand. “You’re a good boy.”

Something moved across his eyes, a shadow; God, pain.

“Night, Ma,” he said.

“Night, baby.”

I got another hug as well, then we were in the car and heading down the street. Just a few houses to Zeke’s place.

“I never pegged you for a mama’s boy,” I said, teasing, trying to lighten the mood a little. Zeke seemed so damn tense.

He’d pulled into a short driveway, in front of a cute beach cottage, and turned off the car. “I bought close to my folks for Diane. I was away. I wanted her to have someone close by if she needed something.”

Crap. I’d momentarily forgotten about his ex-fiancée. “So the last time you were here . . . you found her . . .”

He glanced at me. “Yep.”

“This must be hard for you.” I hated that, for so many reasons. I also hated that I felt jealous of his awful ex. That she’d managed to make him feel something real for her, when I’d failed.

“Being home’s hard, but not because of her. We weren’t right for each other, never were.”

“Oh.” The rush of relief I felt was almost heady. I was trying to not get caught up in what he said before we came here, but it was hard. Because honestly, I wanted to believe him. I wanted it to be true.

“You got upset during dinner,” he said into the silence.

I turned to him. “No I . . . You’re family, your parents, they’re so nice. I never had that. I wasn’t upset, I was . . . happy that our baby will have them as grandparents.”

He stared at me for several beats, then said, “Let’s get you inside, it’s been a long day.” Then he climbed out and got our bags from the trunk.

I followed him inside and watched him take in the place. I was tidy, cute. The furniture, worn, but good quality. He carried on upstairs and pushed the door open to one of the bedrooms. It was empty. Zeke frowned and moved to the next. He opened the door and shook his head when he took in the furniture.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Mom got the place ready for us. She moved the bedroom,” he muttered.

I frowned, confused.

He dropped the bags on the floor, staring out the window, to the beach, which his cottage backed onto. “She thinks I haven’t been home because of Diane.”

Now I got it. She obviously thought being in the same bedroom he’d shared with his ex would stir up old memories. “What is the reason, that you’ve stayed away?”

He stiffened and turned back to me, then motioned to a door across the hall. “Bathrooms through there if you want to clean up.”

I’d shocked myself asking him that question, but if he wanted us to be together, shouldn’t I know those types of things? Shouldn’t we confide in each other? Isn’t that how real relationships worked? If he didn’t want to answer, there was no point pushing. He didn’t want me to know. “Thanks.” I grabbed my bag and headed to the bathroom.

I climbed in the shower, and tried not to think how great Zeke’s mom and dad were, how much I would have loved to be in a family like that when I was growing up, how thankful I was that my child would have such amazing grandparents. Then I started trying to work out how it would all work if Zeke and I didn’t make a go of things, and how I would be forever tied to him, which led me to thinking . . . what if Zeke eventually did find someone else, and because we had a child together, I’d have to see them together. Then I felt ill, because I would not want to see that. But I’d be forced to. And would this mystery woman like my child, would she resent us, and so on, until my heart hurt and I had a headache coming on.

I finished up, dried off, dressed, and headed downstairs to find Zeke. Maybe we should talk about some of these things. Our conversation yesterday had been cut off by his mother’s phone call and Zeke had been stressed since, so I hadn’t liked to bring it up.

I couldn’t find him inside, so I headed out the back. The cottage had a big deck overlooking the ocean, with sun-bleached wooden furniture, and steps that led to the yard. A short distance from that was sand. The beach right there. I stared out to the water, breathed in the salty ocean smells, and listened to the waves crashing. It was breathtaking. The moon was full, huge, lighting the water up, making it glisten. That’s when I saw someone bobbing out in the water. They were sitting on a surfboard and when they turned their head to the side, giving me their profile, I knew who it was instantly. Zeke.

I watched as his body drop forward on his board, arms moving, hands carving through the water with deep, sure strokes as a wave moved up behind him. Then he jumped to his feet and rode it in like he’d been doing it all his life. I guessed he probably had. I watched him for over an hour, surfing in the moonlight. Every time he caught a wave, my heart would beat faster. The way his body moved, the skill that would take—I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

Finally, he walked out of the water, his board under his arm, and strode toward the cottage. I was suddenly finding it hard to breathe. It seemed so long since I’d touched him, since he’d touched me. I craved it, and even though I knew going there with him again was a phenomenally bad idea, I could admit to myself that I still wanted him, badly. He was wearing a wet suit and he’d unzipped it before he started walking. He’d pulled his arms free and left it dangling around his waist. His hair was hanging wet over his face, dripping, droplets landing on his bare chest, sliding down. The moon reflected against his skin in a way that highlighted every ridge of bulging muscle.

The man was physical perfection. Masculine beauty. Rugged and rough in an intensely sexy way.

He shoved his hair back and lifted his head. That’s when his eyes found me.

My breath got momentarily stuck in my throat.

He strode up the steps and onto the deck, then leaned his surf board against the house. His fingers shoved his hair back again and my mouth went dry at the way his biceps bulged.

His gaze did a sweep of my body. “Sorry, you were probably wondering where I was,” he said.

I was wearing a stretch cotton, sage-green nightie with spaghetti straps and a cute silk ruffle at the hem that hit about mid-thigh. It was nothing special, but going by the way he was looking at me, I got the impression that he liked it. My eyes slid over him as well, every inch of bared skin. I couldn’t stop myself. “I’ve been watching you out there for a while,” I said.

His gaze slid to my chest, then back up. “Haven’t surfed in a long time. I saw my board and had to go out.” His voice was a whole lot lower.

“You’re good at it.”

He shrugged and his eyes dropped to my chest again. My nipples, that were insanely sensitive at the moment, stiffened.

He dragged in a deep breath through his nose.

I squeezed my thighs together. I’d made a decision while I watched him out there, an unwise one for sure since I didn’t know whether or not we had a future together, but I couldn’t make myself change my mind, not now. So I didn’t bring up the reason I’d come down here, the conversation I’d wanted to have. I didn’t want to go there, not when the outcome of that conversation might result in him never touching me again. For us to work, I needed to know he was with me for me and not just because I was having his baby. If Zeke didn’t love me . . . this wouldn’t work. If I asked and he didn’t feel the same way I did, I’d have to walk away. I wasn’t ready for that possibility. Not yet. So, pushing past my nerves, I said, “You asked me . . . at the steak house if I had any other cravings?” My words came out so quietly, I may as well have been whispering, but Zeke still heard.

“Yeah,” he said, voice suddenly thick.

Was I really doing this? Was I really going to say it?

“When a woman is pregnant, well, her hormones are kind of wacky.” Yep, apparently I was. Using my raging hormones as an excuse was probably cowardly, even if it was kind of true. I wanted Zeke just like I always did; the pregnancy just meant I had a harder time controlling it. Controlling myself. That’s what I was telling myself, anyway. Getting myself off wasn’t the same, because it wasn’t Zeke. Being around him was pure torture. A temptation I couldn’t resist anymore.

He took a step toward me. “Okay.”

“Apparently, in the first trimester especially, a woman’s . . . um, sex drive can be . . . intense . . .”

He took another step closer, so he was right in front of me. He stared down at me, those dark eyes locking on mine. “You need me to get you off, Sunshine?”

The breeze blew off the ocean. It was cool, but it didn’t come close to cooling my overheated skin. “Yes,” I rasped. “Please.”

He stayed where he was, reached down, and worked off his wet suit. He was wearing a pair of shorts underneath. When he kicked the wetsuit aside, he took my hand in his and led me across the deck and back into the house. My pulse was racing as he locked up, then silently headed upstairs, my hand still firmly in his.

Zeke

Finally.

Shit, I was shaking I wanted her so bad.

Her fingers clung to mine, small and warm, as I led her upstairs, and I knew there was no way she wanted to let go. She hadn’t given me an answer to what I’d said yesterday morning. I’d felt almost sure she’d turn me down, that she’d choose to go it alone rather than be with a fuck up like me. Looked like I was wrong. Seemed we were both done fighting. What we had, this heat, could not be denied.

I wanted to be there for Sunny, to take care of her, and our baby. Be the man she needed for as long as she wanted me. I couldn’t let her walk out of my life. She was mine. They were mine. And while we were here, I’d indulge in this little bubble of happiness with Sunny. I’d let my parents think their fucked-up son was whole. My mother deserved that. Shit, Sunny deserved that. Somehow I had to find a way to live with my guilt, live with what I’d done, and be what Sunny needed.

The task seemed huge right then, so I pushed it aside and gripped Sunny’s hand tighter.

We reached the top of the stairs and I pulled her into the bedroom behind me and turned to face her. That big moon out there tonight shone right through the bedroom window and lit her up like a goddamn angel. “You’re so beautiful,” I said.

Now that I’d made my decision to keep her, to not let her go, it lifted the shackles I’d bound myself with when it came to her. I’d held myself back, bitten my tongue when the urge to say shit like that rose up, which it did often. I couldn’t do it anymore. She was the one piece of happiness I’d allowed myself, and I planned to let Sunny know just how fucking grateful I was for her. What a gift she was.

“So are you,” she said.

Christ. The woman made my heart pound. She was wearing a loose-fitting nightie and I didn’t waste time lifting it up and off, flinging it across the room. My gaze dropped to her breasts. Shit, yeah, fuller. She’d had plenty to start with, but now? I cupped them in my hands and they overflowed, heavy and hot. Sexy as hell.

She huffed out a little breath. “Cantaloupes, right?” she said softly.

“Jesus, Sunny, you were the most exquisite sight I’d seen before . . . but, now? Fuck.” My gaze dropped, and shit, I felt a tremor slide thought me. Her underwear dipped below her belly button, and her stomach, though still small, was obviously more rounded. I slid a hand lower, looking back up at her. “You’re already showing.”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

My legs just sort of . . . gave out, and I dropped to my knees. Something about seeing that, seeing the changes to her body for myself, hit me like a rogue wave. A startled cry burst from her lips and her hands went to my hair to hang on when I leaned in, nuzzling that firm round bump.

“Fuck, Sunshine,” I said against her vanilla scented skin. “Look at you.” My hands went to her hips. “Beautiful doesn’t cover it.” I dipped my head lower, dragging my nose across the front of underwear. I could smell how much she wanted me, feel how wet she was, the fabric already soaked. I looked up at her as I gripped the sides or her panties and dragged them down her thighs. “I’m gonna make you feel good, darlin’, I promise you that.” The words felt scraped from my raw throat.

I hated that because of one moment, one hesitation, I wasn’t the man I once was. That she might only ever get half of me. That the future that should have been mine, ours, had been ripped to shreds and taped back together with pieces missing. I buried my face against her pussy and breathed her in, breathed past the gutting pain of knowing that she wasn’t getting the best of me. Knowing what she was missing out on, but not seeing any other way around it.

I rose up, lifted her in my arms, and lay her down on the bed.

“Zeke . . .” she rasped.

“Not going anywhere, beautiful.” I dropped back to my knees at the foot of the bed, gripped her hips, dragged her toward me, and draped her legs over my shoulders. Gripping her ass, I pressed my mouth against her slick lips, dragging my tongue through her slit, fucking giving her everything I had. She cried out and her fingers were back in my hair, fisting it hard enough to hurt. I loved it, loved that I could push her past her control, that I was giving her exactly what she needed.

I stayed there, between her thighs until she arched her back, until she gave me what I needed and I heard her scream my name. I stood and shoved down my shorts, my cock springing free, hard as hell.

Gripping it, I moved to the side of the bed and climbed on beside her then dropped to my back. “Climb on, Sunshine, want to watch you ride me, darlin’.”

She did as I asked, lifting up, sliding over to me, and climbing on. I ab curled so I was sitting up and lifted my hands to her hair, pulling it free so it tumbled over her shoulders. My hands slid down to her tits and I reached around, unhooking her bra and tugging it down her arms. I didn’t want to miss a damn thing. Even if seeing her like this, bare, hair wild, breasts heavy, belly rounded, nearly did me in—even if seeing her like this made me want to sell my soul just so I could give her everything her heart desired. I cupped her lush breasts and leaned in, finally taking her mouth, kissing her deep and slow, savoring her taste, the moans she fed me, her needy whimpers as I lightly massaged her nipples.

She tore her mouth away. “Oh God, I need you . . . now.”

“Take me, Sunshine,” I grated out. “Take whatever you need.”

Her eyes were wide with excitement as her hands went to my chest and she pushed me back into the mattress. I lifted my head, watching her reach down and grip my cock, position me at her opening, and take me inside. Now it was my turn to fucking arch and moan. Jesus, it’d been too long since I had her. Too long since I felt her slick heat squeezing me, since I’d seen the look on her face when she took all of me and I stretched her nice and wide.

Her nails dug into my chest, and she bit her lip on a whimper. “Oh God.”

Nothing felt as good as she did in that moment. Nothing would ever feel that good. I slid my hands up her thighs, to her hips. “Need you to move, darlin’.”

Her nails dug deep and she rolled her hips. We both groaned.

“That’s it, Sunny.” I lifted my hips to meet hers and my eyes rolled back in my goddamn head. “Fuck, woman, I’m not going to last long the way that pussy is clamping down on me.”

“I’m close,” she said on a gasp. “I’m already close.”

Looking up at her lush body, that wild blond hair, her flushed face and dark full lips, I was already here with her, but with those needy words, I snapped. “Ride me, Sunshine, nice and hard,” I gritted out.

She did as I asked and I slammed up, meeting every roll and grind of her hips, forcing her cries higher, getting her pussy to clamp down harder. Then she clawed at my chest and screamed, fucking dropping down on me while she ground her hips, completely lost to it, to the pleasure she was taking from me. I gripped her hips tighter, turned my face into her neck, her hair, and thrust deep, stayed planted there, while I pumped her full of everything I had, spent myself in every way I could.

I gave it all to Sunny in that moment, all I had to give, and I’d never regret one second of it. Not one.