Zeke

The low murmur of her voice stopped abruptly, so I headed down the hall to the kitchen. I needed her to pack her shit so I could get her out of this fucking house. The lead Tomas had given us had come up empty. Maybe this Kyle asshole wasn’t who he said he was, or maybe he had nothing to do with the robbery and it was some crazy coincidence. Only problem was, I didn’t believe in coincidences. There was too much about this I didn’t know. Too much that didn’t add up. And even with all the security in the world, Sunny wouldn’t be safe here on her own. Or at her stepsister’s. Now not only did I have to worry about some faceless fucker coming back to hurt her, but Bobby as well. I refused to think about why all of a sudden it was safe for Julia and not Sunny, why I hated even the thought of her going there and not with me.

I walked into the kitchen. Her back was to me. “Sunny?”

She didn’t answer.

Rounding the counter, I got in front of her. She looked, shit . . . in shock. “What the hell’s going on? Who was that on the phone?”

She jolted, snapping out of it. “I’m fine,” she said.

“You say that a lot,” I said, reaching for her. “And I’m not buying it.”

She stepped back suddenly, away from me. “It’s true.”

Jesus. She was so far from fine it wasn’t funny. She’d just had her twisted fucking brother-in-law in her house threatening her, and now whatever that call was about, but she was fine. The woman was hiding again, her shit buried as deep as mine. Like if she said she was fine enough times, she would be. Right then she looked pale, freaked. Goddamn fragile. I got the feeling she wasn’t going to talk about whatever was bothering her, though, not now anyway. I’d get to whatever that call was about when I got her home. When I had her in my place and safe. “I need you to go pack, Sunshine. Now.”

She nodded, absently. “Okay.” Then she finally looked at me, those usually vibrant eyes blank. “Then I want you to drop me at Julia’s.”

I gritted my teeth. “She can’t keep you safe. I can.”

Her shoulders straightened. “I’m not going back to your place, Zeke.”

My gut tightened. “What the hell are you talking about?” I said, though I thought I knew, and fuck me, I wasn’t ready to hear it.

She glanced away, tucking her hair behind her ear, throat working. “It’s been . . . fun, but this part . . .” She motioned with her hand between us. “It’s over. Staying with you now will make things . . . awkward.”

“Over?” The word hurt coming out, like it slid out on sandpaper.

Even though I thought this might be where she was going with this, my brain was struggling to process what the hell she was saying. Over. We . . . this, was over?

She twisted her fingers together in front of her. “I’m sorry, but I think it’s for the best.”

“Why?” I bit out, unable to keep the desperation from my voice.

She swallowed again, drawing my eyes to the way her pulse fluttered rapidly under her skin. “It’s just, we’ve come to the end. That spark between us has . . . burnt out.”

“Bullshit,” I fired at her. Like fuck it had burnt out. It was just as strong as the first night I met her, stronger. I wanted to go to her and shake her, make her stop goddamn lying. “You were just as desperate for me as I was for you this morning, darlin’, and don’t even try to deny it.”

Those blank eyes met mine. “It was just sex, Zeke.”

Her words hit like a battering ram to the sternum. And I couldn’t afford to think about why. “Who the fuck was on the phone?” I said instead of what I wanted to say, because this sudden withdrawal didn’t make sense. I had to believe it had something to do with whoever was on the other end of that phone.

She shook her head, hair sliding over her shoulders, the smell of vanilla filling the room. “This has nothing to do with that. I made this decision earlier . . .”

“I’m still waiting for a reason, a real one . . .”

“This was only meant to be casual, right?” she fired at me. “No feelings, no emotions.” One of her hands went to the counter and her fingers curled in. “Am I wrong?”

Jesus. Fuck. Fuck. I couldn’t speak, so I shook my head. She wasn’t wrong. That’s exactly what this was meant to be.

“Right.” She wouldn’t meet my eyes. “I’m going to pack then I’d like you to take me to my stepsister’s, please?”

“Sunny . . .”

“It’s what I want.” A smile lifted her lips, false as hell. Hiding. “And you know it’s safe there, so you don’t have to worry.” Then she went to pack.

I stared after her, my gut telling me something else was going on. I shook my head at my own thoughts.

I should be happy, right? She’d just made this easier on me. I hadn’t been strong enough to end it. Too damn weak to walk away. Even now, I wanted to follow her up those stairs, throw her on the bed, and make her scream my name one more time. Pretend for a little while longer that she was mine. How was I going to go back to the way it was before? Before I had Sunshine in my world?

She came down the stairs a short time later. “I called Julia. She’s fine with me staying.”

An urge inside me, to force her to do what I wanted, was almost suffocating. To tell her she had to come to my place. That I needed to be the one to look after her. That I needed to go to sleep with her at night and wake with her in the morning. Even the nightmares hadn’t been as frequent when I had Sunny beside me.

Instead, I took her bag from her and headed for the door. She got into my car and waited while I put her bag in the trunk, then she stared out the window, avoiding me. I hated it. Loathed it with everything in me.

“I’m sorry,” I said finally when the silence got too much. I was almost surprised those were the words that came out. Not when “don’t leave” was on a constant loop in my head.

She turned to me, those violet eyes blinking up at me. “It’s not your fault, Zeke. None of it.” Her voice was soft, had a little more rasp to it than usual.

“Sunny . . .”

Her hand came down on the steering wheel, over mine. “I approached you that night, remember? I started all this. Which kind of makes it my fault, if you want to point fingers.” Then she smiled, her bright, crooked smile at me.

It didn’t reach her eyes.

I turned away before I did or said something I couldn’t take back.

We reached Julia’s and pulled up outside the building. Despite my need to have her with me, I knew she’d be safe here. This was the same building Neco and Ruby lived in. Neco was particular about security, like the rest of us were. Not only was the security tight, Neco was on hand if something went down. Didn’t mean I liked it, though. Not just because I still wanted her in my bed, and I did, but because I hated the idea of anyone but me looking after her.

Somehow, I had to get the hell over it, because one day she’d meet someone, someone not fucked up like me. Someone that could give her the life she deserved.

I shoved my door open. “I’ll grab your bags.”

Sunny climbed out after me and we headed into the building. Every step closer to the elevator, my feet felt heavier, my gut tighter. We climbed in and she hit the button for the third floor. As soon as the doors closed, silence engulfed us. In movies, this is the moment the guy goes in for the kiss, or hits the emergency button and fucks his woman against the wall. I wanted Sunny so much I couldn’t think straight, but there would be no out of control, desperate kiss for us.

Because Sunny was done.

It was the end.

Shit, I felt sick.

“Thanks for the ride over here,” she said into the silence.

I gritted my teeth. It was only mere hours ago that she told me how much she loved me inside her. Now we were through.

I wouldn’t get to wake up with her tomorrow morning.

It’s for the best.

Yeah? Then why did it feel the complete opposite of that?

The door slid open and she walked out, like she couldn’t get away fast enough. I followed behind to Julia’s apartment, waited for the door to open after she knocked. Julia answered then pulled Sunny in. I put her bags down inside the door and stood there, not wanting to leave. Though I knew ending what we had was the right thing to do, I still wanted to hear the reason why from her. But going by the way Sunny was standing at the door, holding it open for me to leave, I wasn’t going to find out.

I moved back out into the hall and looked down at her. Jesus, she was so damn beautiful, and it was only amplified by the beauty she had inside. “Call me, if you’re worried, or you need me for anything, understand?” She knew Neco and Ruby lived in this building and the way she was looking at me now, I knew my number would be a last one she’d call. Shit, that cut. Deep. Panic rushed me, and I wanted to grab her and make her tell me why she was doing this.

She took a step closer and I goddamn swayed toward her. Her hand went to my forearm and she squeezed. “Thanks, Zeke.”

Then she let go, stepped back . . .

I grabbed her wrist and her head shot up, eyes round.

I slid my thumb over her skin, her racing pulse. “Just . . . be careful, will you? And I don’t just mean Bobby. Watch where you’re walking and be careful with that fucking soldering iron,” I bit out. “Okay?”

She nodded and offered me a small smile . . . then closed the door in my face.

I stared at it.

Now what did I do?

Sunny

I stared at the door. It seemed like forever before I heard the sound of his boots taking him away.

My hands went to my belly and I sucked in a sharp, painful breath.

Pregnant.

Holding it together in front of him, after having the doctor confirm the pregnancy, had been excruciating. I’d had no choice but to go ahead and end it between us. I couldn’t pretend I didn’t feel the way I did about him another moment. I couldn’t pretend he didn’t mean something to me, not now. So I’d retreated to panic, self-preservation, keeping in control of the words that came out of my mouth.

Pregnant.

I couldn’t get my head around it. How? I mean, I knew how. God, against all odds, I’d fallen pregnant.

It was a miracle.

A crazy, terrifying, unbelievable miracle.

“Sunny?” Julie’s hand came down on my shoulder behind me and just like that, the dam broke. The freak-out I’d contained while I was with Zeke broke its bonds and I spun around, throwing myself into her arms. “Oh God,” I cried. “What am I going to do?”

Julia’s arms came around me instantly, like we’d done this before, even when the reality was very different. She held me for a while then lifted her head. “You love him?”

I nodded and another sob broke past my lips.

“Then why? Why did you send him away?” she asked, frowning.

My breaths turned into gasps and Julia ushered me to the couch in the living room and sat me down. She held me until I pulled it together enough to speak. Finally, I looked over at her. “He doesn’t want a relationship, and he . . . he doesn’t want . . . kids . . .” Another sob cut me off.

Her eyes searched mine and a sad smile tugged at her lips. “A lot of men say that. Doesn’t mean Zeke won’t change his mind one day. Relationships, family, can be frightening to some people.”

I shook my head. “That’s not Zeke. He doesn’t want that . . . at least, not with me.”

She brushed my hair back from my face. “Sunny . . .” she said gently. “Maybe it’s a good thing . . . that he doesn’t want kids?”

Since we’d been getting closer, I’d told Julia how things had ended with Richard. Why he’d broken up with me. I blinked up at her and more tears streaked down my face. “Julia . . .”

“Maybe it’s best not to think about kids. He doesn’t want them, you might not have them. Maybe it’s best to cross that bridge when and if you come to it. You’re only setting yourself up for more hurt.”

I grabbed her hand and squeezed. “I’m at the bridge, Julia.”

Now it was her turn to blink. “What?”

I gripped her hand tighter. “I’m pregnant.”

She was quiet for several long seconds and looking almost as shocked as I was. “You’re pregnant,” she whispered.

I nodded.

“You haven’t told Zeke?”

I shook my head. “Not yet. I just found out. I’m still trying to get my head around it.”

Her fingers gripped mine offering comfort. “Are you going to tell him?”

“Yes.” My lips started to tremble. “He has a right to know. But he doesn’t want this, and I’m not going to force it on him.”

She brushed my hair back again. “You’re going to keep it?”

That there was a choice had never occurred to me. A baby, a family of my own, was something I’d given up on, a dream I’d let go of. But against all odds, I now had a baby growing inside me. My baby. It wouldn’t be easy, doing it alone. But there was no other choice for me. This could be my only chance, “Yes,” I whispered.

Then I broke down again and Julia pulled me back into her arms, holding me while I fell apart.

“I know I wasn’t there for you when we were growing up. I know Mom and I treated you like shit, ignored you, left you out, I . . . I felt sick about it.” She held me tighter. “I followed her lead, did what she wanted or she directed her anger at me. I guess . . . I went from one bully to another when I married Bobby. But I wanted her approval so much back then. I acted like her, did what was expected to try and make her happy. I’m not trying to make excuses for the way I was with you, I was weak, scared, pathetic. I should have stood up to her, but I didn’t.” She sniffed. “I want to help you, be there for you and the baby, be a good aunt.”

I wiped my eyes and sat straighter. I didn’t know what to say. Honestly, I felt like I was seeing the real Julia for the first time. “I had no idea that you were going through that . . . I wish I’d . . .”

She squeezed my hand, stopping me. “There was no way you could have known. I was good at hiding it,” she said.

I pulled her back in for a hug. “You and me, we’re moving forward from here. Together.”

“Really?”

We were both full-on crying now. “Yes. I need you, too. I can’t do this alone.”