Sunny

The bed shifted beside me and I knew Zeke was about to leave even before he leaned in and said close to my ear. “Gotta go.”

I rolled to my back, brushing my hair back from my face. It was still dark outside. I should say nothing, let him go, but the words were out before I could stop them. “You don’t have to.”

His impossibly dark eyes were locked on mine, and they softened, just a fraction. “Yeah . . . I do.”

Okay. Right.

I already knew what this was. Still, his gentle rejection cut deeper than it should. I started twisting the ring on my thumb. A nervous habit. It was my father’s wedding ring, he’d worn it when he was married to my mom, and I never took it off. This was for the best, I knew that, too. I smiled. I wanted him to know I was fine with him leaving, because although it stung a little, I didn’t want anything more from him, either. Relationships, definitely of the romantic kind, weren’t for me, either. Not lasting ones, anyway. But it was . . . nice, having someone else around, someone that didn’t pretend they were something that they weren’t, or pretend that I meant something to them that I didn’t. Someone that didn’t just take but gave as well. Zeke may have taken what he needed from me tonight, but he also gave me what I needed.

He was still close, and I curled my fingers around the side of his neck and stared back. “I’m glad you stopped by tonight.”

His eyes moved over my face, my hair, down to my lips, like he was searching for something, then he made this kind of guff, growly sound. My belly squirmed. God, what was it about this man? I knew literally nothing about him. I didn’t know where he lived, how old he was, where he came from, what he did for a job. Nothing. But I felt this . . . connection to him I couldn’t describe. Maybe it was just loneliness. I’d been on my own for a long time. I don’t know, but I kind of loved that it was me that was giving him whatever it was that he needed.

I sat up impulsively, pressing my lips to his, then looked into his eyes. “And I’m glad I sat by you in that bar.” I slid my fingers into his hair at his nape. “I’m glad it was you.”

“Sunshine,” he said, all husky and deep, so low I barely heard it.

“It’s okay, Zeke. I just wanted to tell you that.” I got the feeling from those shadows I saw in his eyes that he might need that kind of honesty in his life.

His big hand slid up the side of my neck as well, his fingers digging in lightly before he pressed his face to the opposite side, breathing me in, and kissed my temple. “I’m glad, too, darlin’,” he said in that rough Texas drawl.

Then he stood, flashing that amazing full back piece inked into his scarred skin, pulled on his clothes, and shoved his feet in his boots.

He was about to walk out the door. And suddenly, the idea of never seeing him again sent panic through me in a way I wasn’t prepared for. My impulsive side made itself known again and I called his name when he was at my door. He stopped and turned back to me.

“Will I see you again?” I said.

A muscle jumped in his cheek. “This is all I got to give, Sunny.”

“I know.” And I did.

“You okay with that?” His brows were lowered and his voice had dropped, getting impossibly deep.

I smiled. “Yes.”

He stood there for several long seconds, so much moving behind his eyes, so much. My heart was pounding in my chest by the time he finally answered. Well, kind of answered, he dipped his chin before he turned and walked out.

I heard the front door close behind him a minute later.

* * *

“Here you go, sweetheart.” I slid the delicate beaded bracelet on an adorable little girl’s wrist, unable to stop my wide smile when she beamed up at me.

Her mother thanked me and paid. She also had a baby with her, bundled up in a stroller. “I bet you’re a good big sister,” I said to the little girl.

She nodded, her smile getting even brighter. I watched them leave, listening to the little girl chatter to her mother as they went. A pang of something I tried to ignore hit before I could guard against it. Something I’d come to terms with a long time ago, but the pain still managed to sneak up and fire a cheap shot every now and again, when I wasn’t paying attention. When I was little and it was just me and my dad, I used to pray every night for a family. I wanted a mother so bad, a brother or sister. When my father came home one day and said he was getting married again and she had a daughter a little younger than me I’d been so excited.

Unfortunately, my new mother and stepsister didn’t share my excitement. My father was away a lot on business, which meant I spent a lot of time on my own.

I’d loved Cathy and Julia with my whole heart before I’d even met them, and they were . . . indifferent. That never changed.

That turned out to be the story of my life. Indifference. And that included my father. He just wasn’t that interested in what was going on with me when he was home. I’m sure he loved me in his way, but in all my life, I’d never truly . . . felt it. I used to think maybe they’d love me if I was prettier, or funnier, or smarter. Of course, nothing I did made a difference. Even the man I thought I had a future with, the man I thought I’d marry, hadn’t loved me enough to stay. Again, I hadn’t been enough. And it had hurt. A soul deep pain that left a permanent scar.

When my relationship with Richard ended, I’d tried to put myself out there, to meet people, but no one ever stuck.

I didn’t know what it was about me that was so unlovable, but there it was.

That’s what it boiled down to.

It would probably sound silly to anyone else. Crazy. But I’d lived it, lived through it. If you were ignored enough, overlooked enough, it was hard not to miss what the universe was telling you. It stopped hurting so much when I gave up on it, when I gave up on love.

I was content. And I’d take the scraps of happiness that came my way and never take them for granted. I didn’t need anything else. I had my shop, my home, and while it lasted, I had Zeke.

A smile spread across my face. Happiness. That’s what he gave me. The man gave until I could barely breathe and my limbs were soggy noodles.

Zeke had been back nearly every night since he’d shown up at my door a couple weeks ago. He didn’t talk much, sometimes not at all, but God, he made me feel beautiful . . . wanted. He gave me something to look forward to when I hadn’t even known I needed it.

This thing between us, it wasn’t going anywhere, he told me so himself, and I was okay with that. I didn’t want anything more. Eventually, he would leave. Like everyone else. So I’d live for the moment, enjoy every second we had together, and when it was over, I’d go back to being content, to making my jewelry, and wait for the next piece of happiness to come my way.

The door opened again and I looked up, a smile on my face. Julia walked in and my smile slipped before I could stop it.

“This is a surprise,” I said, trying to inject some lightness in my voice, even though I knew why she was here.

“Hey. Just thought I’d pop in, see what’s going on?” She moved around the shop, pretending to be interested in my jewelry.

I watched her for several seconds, that happiness I’d felt evaporating.

I just couldn’t do this with her anymore. The pretending, the fake smiles, the small talk until she asked for what she really wanted from me. I don’t know what it was, why today, but I was done. I was done being used by her.

Taking a deep breath, I moved out from behind the counter and walked over to her. I opened my mouth to speak, but she got there before me.

“I need more money,” she said, her posture already defensive.

How could I still get disappointed? How? When I knew this was why she was here, when I knew that was all she wanted from me. “Did you ever even like me?” I said, the words just pouring from me.

She frowned. “What?”

Now I’d taken it there, I couldn’t take it back, I didn’t want to. “Did you ever like me?” I repeated. “Did you ever consider me your sister?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” she said, looking at me like I was crazy, but also uncomfortable, maybe even guilty.

God, why did I bother? I shook my head and went back to the cash register. She rushed over and I handed her what cash I had. Three hundred dollars. “This is it,” I said to her. “I’m not giving you anymore money, Julia.”

She looked down at the cash like I’d handed her a used tissue. “This isn’t enough.”

“It’s all I’m giving you.”

Her eyes went wide, almost panicked. “Dad would want . . .”

“Dad wouldn’t care.” I offered her a sad smile. “He didn’t even know us, either of us.” I wasn’t going to let her use my father against me, to try to guilt me, not anymore. She only called him Dad when she wanted to twist the knife, when she wanted to bend me to her will. It wasn’t happening anymore.

“What the hell’s gotten into you, Sunny?”

“I’ve decided to help you and Bobby help yourselves.” I walked to the door and held it open for her. “Get a job, Julia, and keep it.”

She stood frozen, staring at me like I’d lost it completely. Then she scowled. “You were his favorite. He left me hardly anything, he . . .”

“I was his daughter,” I said simply. “And most of the money I got came from my mother, not him, you know that. You also know that money had nothing to do with Dad, or you.”

I could see her mind working behind her eyes, trying to think of something else, another way to get me to do what she wanted. I also saw when she came up empty.

“So what?” she gritted out. “You’re done with me?”

I shrugged. “It’s up to you. I’m not going anywhere.”

Her eyes flashed then she hitched her bag higher on her shoulder and stormed out the door, firing, “Bitch,” at me on her way past.

I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t help immediately worrying about her. That money wouldn’t last long.

Stop it, Sunny.

I tried not to think about it the rest of the day and kept myself busy. When it was time to close, I selected the beads I needed for tonight’s creations, locked up, and headed home to work on restocking my glass bead bracelets.

And later, hopefully, I’d get a visit from Zeke.

* * *

A low groan escaped my lips and I thrust my fingers into Zeke’s hair, fisting, holding him to me. “Yes. God, Zeke . . . don’t stop.” My hips rolled up, wanting more of him, more of his mouth, and he gave it to me. His big hands gripped my ass tighter and he dragged his tongue through the center of me before he wrapped his lips around my clit and sucked gently, like he knew I loved. He’d been inside me, had made me come only a few minutes ago. I’d assumed he was getting ready to leave like he usually did. He climbed out of bed straight after he’d finished fucking me, and went to the bathroom. But instead, he’d walked out with a washcloth, and after throwing back the covers, he’d cleaned me up, dropped back down, and buried his face between my legs.

I wasn’t complaining.

“Let me hear it,” he said in that rough voice that drove me wild. “One more time, Sunshine, want your screams ringing in my ears when I leave tonight.”

An unwanted ache started in my chest at those words, then I was flying, screaming loud enough to shake the walls. Loud enough to drown out, push down, any useless emotions trying to bud and grow inside me. Feelings I didn’t want.

His beard scraped against my inner thigh when he kissed my heated skin, and when he lifted up, I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Fierce, sexy, rough, dangerous. I loved how his hair was sticking up from my fingers moving through it. When he left sometimes, I wondered if it had actually happened, or if he was some amazingly real fantasy. Seeing where my hands had been, seeing his hair messed up like that made it real somehow. Proof that this brutally masculine man let me touch him, that he wanted me to touch him.

He climbed off the bed and my gaze moved over his back, like it always did, over that beautiful, terrifying Reaper tattoo, the scars on his skin, his muscular butt and thighs. He was a work of art, beautiful. When he walked out of the bathroom for the second time tonight, his eyes slid to me, moving over my body, and goose bumps lifted, tingling across my flesh. The intensity of that look got to me every time, made my belly quiver and my heart race.

“Gotta go,” he said.

I nodded, because I knew the words were coming, he said them every night, after we did what we did. He dressed and pulled on his boots, then he was heading for the door. I waited, holding my breath for the moment, hoping it would come, that tonight wasn’t the night he said he wasn’t coming back.

He stopped and turned back to me. “See you tomorrow night?”

My breath burst past my lips. I had another night, but instead of just saying, “Yeah,” like I always did, I said, “I want to thank you.”

He stilled, brows rising, waiting for me to elaborate.

“I stood up to my stepsister today, and I think I have you to thank for it.”

He shifted, shoved his hands in his pockets. “How’d you figure that?”

“I think some of your badass has rubbed off on me,” I felt a grin tug at my lips. No, I didn’t know what he did for a job, how he spent his time when he wasn’t with me, but there was no doubting this man was a total badass in every aspect of his life. “Standing up for myself with her, it’s been a long time coming. That was you, Zeke. I just wanted you to know that.”

He didn’t smile, he didn’t do anything, he just stared at me, that intense gaze boring into mine. Finally, he shook his head. “Nah, Sunshine, that was all you.”

Then he turned and left.

I wanted him to come back.

He didn’t, not the next night, or the one after that.