Chapter Fourteen-
Derek didn't call me when he got home from work, and I was being entirely too stubborn to call him. Actually, I didn't know if I wanted to talk to him anyway.
But the next day when three o'clock rolled around and I still hadn't heard from him, I wasn't quite as pleased. By that time, I started to think it was a better idea to talk to him before Kayla's stupid family dinner, that way when he went we were on good terms.
When I picked up the phone to call him, I changed my mind. If we had a relationship of substance then he shouldn't have to talk to me to remember that he was my boyfriend. I could still hold anything stupid that he did against him—but he wouldn't do anything stupid.
I told myself to put the phone down again, refusing to babysit him. I had to take some stands, and that had to be one of them. It was somewhat understandable that he was mad that I had been suspicious, but since apparently Kayla was up to something and he was stupidly falling right into it, I did have cause for concern. He had to give me that.
Since I knew he was going to be at dinner with Kayla, I figured I should probably busy myself with doing productive things to keep my mind off of it, otherwise I would spend the whole day staring at the clock and waiting for him to get home.
By five o'clock I had done some research on schools, submitted two essays for scholarships, and Wendy's had called me in to work.
I didn't get off until 11, and when I did I was slightly relieved to see that I had two missed calls, one from Derek, and he left a voicemail.
"Hey, it's Derek," he said in that quiet tone. "I just got home and I thought I'd give you a call. I know you're mad at me, so... just call me whenever you want to. Later."
Well, it wasn't much, but at least he had called.
I debated whether I wanted to talk to him or not on the way home, but I decided I may as well. After all, it would do our relationship no good if we didn't discuss our issues, and I definitely had issues with what he had spent his Saturday doing.
"I called you earlier," he said, when I called back.
"Yeah, I got your message," I told him. "I was at work, that's why I'm just now calling you back."
"Oh. I didn't know you worked today."
"Yeah, well, I thought we didn't tell each other things like that anymore," I returned sarcastically.
He sighed on the other end, and I pressed my lips together, a little aggravated that I had let that slip.
I also sighed, saying, "I wasn't calling to bust you on that, it just slipped."
"It's okay, that's actually part of why I called you. I was thinking about that today. I shouldn't have just made those plans without bothering to tell you about it."
"No, definitely not," I agreed.
"I didn't mean to," he said. "And I was going to tell you, I just didn't get a chance."
"Why did you even go?" I asked, pouting just a little.
"Her grandparents wanted to meet me. I thought they wanted to meet me because of the baby, but she told me on the way to the restaurant they didn't even know she was pregnant, that she didn't want them to know yet. She said she just wanted them to meet me first to kind of smooth the way for breaking the news."
I felt my anger flare, more at Kayla than Derek. "Oh, so she just wanted to introduce you. I suppose she didn't introduce you as her ex-boyfriend?"
He hesitated for just a second before admitting, "No."
"I really, really don't like her," I told him.
"I know," he said.
"So her whole family thinks you're her boyfriend?"
"As far as I can tell."
I nodded, forgetting he couldn't see me. "This is going to be a bigger problem than I wanted to admit, isn't it?"
"I don't know, Nikki," he said tiredly.
I had to admit, in that moment, I wasn't feeling as blindly optimistic about our relationship. Kayla wasn't going to let it be easy, not by a long shot. For some ungodly reason, she decided she absolutely was not going to move out of my way, and Derek wasn’t holding up his end of our partnership.
"It's only going to get worse, you know," I remarked. "This isn't going to get easier. It was a nice sentiment, a sweet dream, but this is going to get harder, not easier."
"I know," he said quietly.
For the first time since our reconciliation, I forced myself to look at our situation without rose-colored glasses, without my driven devotion, and I realized that there was a very good chance that we just weren't going to last. We might have, if Kayla hadn't ended up pregnant, but we would have had more freedom to get to know each other better, no limitations whatsoever. Kayla wasn't going to let that happen.
We both sat there on the phone, not saying a word. The silence lasted several minutes before he cleared his throat.
"You still there?" he asked.
"Yeah," I said quietly. "I was just thinking."
"You sound sad."
"I am," I told him.
"We're going to make this work, Nikki," he assured me, reading my thoughts.
I smiled a little sadly. "Maybe."
"We will," he said more forcefully.
"They didn't," I said simply.
He faltered for a second, probably seeing the truth in my words. "We're not our parents," he finally said.
"No, but we certainly are following in their footsteps, aren't we?" I replied, not even trying to deny it.
"No," he said, as if disagreeing would make it true. "We're... we're not going to do what they did."
"They tried too, Derek," I told him. "Why do you think she was so tortured? She held on for months after it should have ended. As soon as Sarah told him she was pregnant they really should have ended, because it was over from that moment. Maybe this is just a completely hopeless situation. Maybe there's no way—"
"You know that isn't true," he interrupted. "There would have been a way. If he would have just made up his mind to be with her, to... go to any lengths—"
"Including walking away from your kid?" I returned. "Can you do that, Derek? If it comes down to that, can you honestly tell me you're going to pick me over your own child?"
He sighed irritably. "Why do you have to bring this up? It hasn't happened yet, and there's a good chance it won't. Let's just deal with the complications as they come, okay?"
"What, you don't think they're already coming?" I asked. "Kayla's hauling you to family dinners now. What's going to come next? Maybe her sister's wedding or her cousin's birthday party?"
"This was a one-time thing, Nikki. I'm not going to make a habit of being Kayla's poodle. I'm not her boyfriend anymore, and she's going to have to accept that."
"Yeah, eventually, but she can make you pay for that decision for the next 18 years."
"Maybe, but I've already made that decision. I have already picked you, Nikki, so I don't know what you're worried about."
I laughed mirthlessly. "Everything, Derek."
"Well don't," he replied. "There's no point in even trying to preserve our relationship if you've already made up your mind that it isn't going to work. Don't do that, Nikki. I want us to work, so don't do that."
"I want us to work, too, but we can't just ignore what we don't like, can we?"
"I don't want to talk about this anymore," he said, letting me know by his tone that he was finished with the topic for the night.
"Fine," I allowed, but didn't try to bring up any new topics.
After a few more seconds he said, "So, what did you do today?"
"Not much," I responded vaguely, not up to sharing my new plans about college with him.
"You said you worked?"
"Yeah, I got called in. But hey, I'm about to pull into my driveway, so I'm gonna let you go. Call me tomorrow?"
"Yeah," he said unenthusiastically.
Fantastic. We weren't even graduated from high school and we were already acting like we had been married for 20 years.
But unexpected pregnancies did tend to age relationships. I remembered, on reflection, that even my mom and Mike got less formal as soon as Sarah got pregnant. Dealing with something like that just doesn't allow for formality. If you don't know each other well enough to dispose of formalities, you don't know each other well enough to fight that kind of situation for your relationship.
Derek and I did talk the next day, but nothing had changed. He still didn’t want to acknowledge our problems and I still wasn’t willing to turn a blind eye. If we were doomed to fail, I wanted to know as soon as possible, because the longer we held on, the more it was going to hurt when it finally did end.
Not that I wanted it to end, but I also knew that loving somebody shouldn’t be that hard so soon. Yes, couples had problems, but after only a couple months? That was like signing up for marriage counseling before leaving for your honeymoon.
Looking at it sensibly, I was still glad that I had been involved with Derek. Even if we did end, even if our time was about up, he had still been an important person in my life. After all, even though he didn't know it, he had pretty much been the person to make me realize I had to go to college.
It depressed me to realize I was already thinking of us as past tense, and I truly didn't want it to be over, but I didn't want to get my hopes up just to be let down. It wouldn't do either one of us any good.
I felt myself beginning to pull away from Derek, maybe not intentionally, but as an unconscious attempt to protect myself. It was surprisingly easy since I rarely got to see him.
There had been a moment Monday at school when Derek and I saw each other, and we just kind of looked at each other for a second, then he gave me that smile that still made my heart skip and started toward me, causing me to smile a little as I started walking toward him.
But he only made it halfway before Kayla rushed to his side, holding open a little book and stealing his attention.
My smile faded and I stopped walking, instead watching as she pointed out something in what was unmistakably a baby name book.
Before Derek had a chance to look back up at me, I was gone.
We didn't get a chance to talk in class, and we didn't see each other again until lunch. After I got my food I went to his table to sit with him, but even the peck on the lips I got left me feeling a little disappointed.
I wasn't paying much attention to the conversation at the table and I was in a pensive mood that day, so I merely observed as Derek interacted with his friends, feeling a little sad every time he would flash that smile or laugh—God, I loved his smile.
"Hey," Derek said, knocking me out of my thoughts.
"Hm?" I murmured, glancing up at him.
He took my hand under the table and placed a kiss on my forehead, causing me to smile a little. "Don't look so depressed, I'm starting to think you don't like me."
"Of course I like you," I said, squeezing his hand a little. "I was just thinking."
"Well, stop thinking," he advised, his eyes twinkling a little.
"I just wish things were different," I told him quietly.
"Me too," he agreed, nodding a little. "But it'll be okay. You'll see. It may be complicated, but we can work through the complications if we really want to."
I half smiled. "I feel like I've heard that advice before."
"You have," he said. "The letter your mom wrote..."
Oh, that's right. She had told Mike that they could work through any complications if he wanted to.
"Just stop worrying about it," he said.
"It's hard," I told him.
"Well, nobody ever said it would be easy, Nikki. Relationships seldom are."
"Relationships involving situations like ours?"
"Even harder," he said with a slight nod. "But that doesn't mean it can't be done."
"What are you two talking about over there?" asked one of his friends. "I'm feeling left out."
Derek gave me a little smile and squeezed my hand under the table, returning to whatever inane conversation his friends were having.
I dreamed of my mom again that night, and when I woke up the next morning I was again filled with that peaceful feeling that everything would somehow be all right. I wasn't sure how, but it just would.
I tried to gear myself up that morning, to tell myself Derek was right. It might not be easy, but he was worth it, and I was not going to roll over and admit defeat to Kayla.
I had plans, dammit, and Derek was in them.
That day at school I made sure to find Derek before class, and then I walked to class on his arm, as his girlfriend should. He seemed relieved at my change in attitude, and that made me happy, too.
"Did you finally stop thinking?" he asked me on the way to class.
"No," I replied. "I just started thinking differently. I'm a Harmon, Derek; we don't go away without a fight."
He smiled. "No, I don't suppose you do."
At lunch, instead of letting his friends monopolize him, I took his attention for myself.
"So, we never get to see each other outside of school anymore, but I've been making plans and they involve you, so I want to talk to you about them."
Derek nodded. "Okay. Fill me in."
"I haven't really been talking to you about this since... well, since everything happened with Kayla."
He nodded his understanding so I didn't have to say it.
"Anyway, you know how you were talking about college? And how you brought up that you thought it was really silly for me not to go? Well, I've had a lot of spare time on my hands lately, so I've been thinking about it, and I realized you're right. I love to learn, and I want to be able to get a good job someday. There's nothing wrong with Wendy's, but I certainly don't want to work there forever. I want a job that I'll make pretty good money doing and that I'll enjoy doing. I want books to be involved, and I want to be able to buy myself a house and a nice car."
He smiled at me, his eyes twinkling. "You're going to college?"
I nodded, smiling right back. "Yeah, and I was thinking we could go together. I mean, I don't really know how your plans are looking right now, because we haven't been talking about it, but if you decide to do the community college and then transfer thing, I definitely want to do it, too. I don't know what we'll do about living arrangements, but we still have some time to figure it out. I've been doing some research, and I think we can do this."
Derek offered me a smile. "That's great, Nikki. I'm glad you're going to college, it seemed like such a waste for you to skip it."
"Yeah. But you're still going, right?" I asked tentatively.
"I'm... yeah, at least part-time."
I nodded, although I wasn't completely satisfied with that. If he had to go part-time though, it wouldn’t be the end of the world. The whole baby thing was going to require sacrifices, so I decided I should just be glad that he was at least going to try to go part-time.
It was still frustrating though. I hated to see anything holding him back, even if only temporarily.
Speak of the devil, his biggest obstacle came walking over to the table at that very moment, her unsmiling gaze sliding past me as if I didn't exist and landing on Derek.
"I need to talk to you for a minute," she said.
"Okay," he said, turning so that he could look at her.
Her eyes narrowed slightly. "Alone," she clarified.
Derek looked at me apologetically and told me he'd be back, standing up and leaving the cafeteria with Kayla.
I watched sullenly, thinking about how much I despised Kayla. That feeling wasn't made any better when one of Derek's dumber friends said, "She's hot."
I shot him a disgusted look, but held my tongue, looking up at the large clock and waiting for Derek to return.
It seemed like hours later when Derek finally came back into the cafeteria. He didn't look very happy, but Kayla had a smile on her face, which worried me just a bit. Obviously she won whatever she had set out to win.
"What was that all about?" I asked as he sat down beside me.
"Nothing," he said vaguely.
I frowned slightly, feeling a little unhappy that he didn't want to share with me, but I didn't push the issue.
Of course Derek and I both worked that night, but he worked later, so when Stephanie and I were at work I asked her if she wanted to hang out for a little while after.
"Oh, I would," she said apologetically. "But I kind of already promised Erika I would go to dinner with her."
"I like Erika," I remarked, thinking maybe we could all three go.
She hesitated for a moment. "Kayla's going to be there."
"Oh."
"I'm sorry," she said.
I shrugged, grabbing a cup and filling it with ice, sticking it under the pop machine. "No big deal."
She waited exactly two seconds before deciding, "You're mad at me."
I forced a smile. "I'm not mad at you."
"I hate this whole thing between you and Kayla. I hate being in the middle of it. You're my friend and I love you, but Kayla's also my friend, she's... I mean, we've been best friends since we were five, we're planning to be best friends until we die."
"Well, I hope you are," I told her. "I'm not mad, Stephanie. I don't like her, I never will, but I don't care if you do. I just thought maybe we could hang out tonight, but if you have other plans it's okay, we will some other time."
Luckily I was getting off work just a few minutes after that, because I didn't like feeling like I was on bad terms with Stephanie.
Kayla seemed to be seeping into every aspect of my life. She was causing problems between me and my boyfriend, having his child, hogging my only friend—before long she would probably be coming onto Alex and applying at Wendy's so she could invade the only parts of my life she hadn't yet.
But I couldn't let it get to me, I kept telling myself. I couldn't let her get to me. So what if Derek still hadn't told me what their talk was about? So what if he still hadn't let me see the ultrasound picture? So what if he changed the subject when I asked about baby names? Who was I to care if he avoided my father, but went out to dinner with her grandparents?
I was so not jealous.
Irritated, but never jealous.
I had to keep my focus. I couldn't let Kayla get inside my head—that was exactly what she wanted.
However, I decided that I could temporarily sulk about my situation, just to get it out my system. I curled up on the couch by myself with some popcorn and watched some lame 80's horror movie. There was a dark-haired girl about as tiny as Kayla in it, and of course she kept "almost" getting killed, so that kind of made me happy. Unfortunately, she was also the main character, so she ended up living.
Alex came in unexpectedly before the movie was over, and I wasn't completely sure what to do. I hadn't been overly friendly toward Alex since his talk about Derek cheating on me and my mother's feelings for Mike. Of course it was my fault I let him get to me, but still, if he wouldn't have put the thought in my head I wouldn't have gone up to Burger King.
Apparently Alex was a bit oblivious to my coolness though, because after discarding his coat and cigarettes on the table, he just flopped down on the couch next to me and grabbed some popcorn from my bowl.
"What are you watching?" he asked.
"A movie," I replied.
"I had gathered that much. What movie is it?"
"I don't know," I murmured.
He sat there for a few minutes, watching the brunette "run for her life" a few times. "This is a really bad movie," he stated.
"Definitely," I agreed.
"I feel dumber for having sat here for ten minutes actually watching it."
"It's mind-numbing; that was its appeal."
He glanced over at me. "More drama?"
Intentionally misunderstanding I said, "It's not a drama, it's a lame attempt at horror."
"Your love life? Wow, you really do take after your mother."
I scoffed, feeling a little disgruntled. "No kidding. I was talking about the movie, but of course you knew that."
"And I was asking about your love life, not the movie—but of course you knew that."
I shrugged. "The drama's nothing new."
"Maybe not to you, but your old man's still pretty clueless about the whole situation."
I shot him a jaunty smile. "That's how I like you."
"Regardless, I think I have a right to know what's going on in my daughter's life. It's my duty as a parent to take an interest and... whatnot."
I shook my head. "I really don't want to talk about it. You'll just think I'm stupid anyway, so what's the point?"
He laughed. "Me? Are you serious? What could you possibly do that I haven't done already?"
I hesitated, thinking maybe it would be better to let him know sooner rather than later. "I...No, I—it's too... you'll think..."
He eyed me up. "You're not pregnant, right?"
I let out a loud sigh. "No, I'm not pregnant."
"Good," he said, inclining his head.
"Derek's ex-girlfriend is," I finished.
His jaw actually fell open a bit. "Not good."
I shook my head and put the popcorn down, no longer hungry.
"So... you broke up again?" he guessed.
"No."
"No?" he questioned, one black eyebrow shooting up.
"That's why we broke up in the first place," I explained. "But we're back together."
He didn't say anything for a few seconds, then he finally said, "Not to point out the obvious here, Nicole, but considering your family history with this particular topic... do you really think that's wise?"
"I can see how it wouldn't look very wise to you, but Derek and I have thought about this and we want to make it work. We both realize it may be a little harder because of this—"
"A little harder?" he interrupted. "No, finding out he wants to go to school in Rhode Island and you want to go to California would make it a little harder. Finding out you're an atheist and he's a devout Christian might make it a little harder. Finding out you hate kids and he wants ten—"
"I get it," I said a bit irritably.
"Finding out he's having a baby with someone else, on the other hand, makes it damn near impossible. You’re too young to take on that kind of baggage."
"That isn't true," I stated.
"He's Mike's kid, Nicole. If anybody in the world should know what a bad situation this is, you should. You study your mother's journals like most people study the Bible."
"This is different," I told him.
"No, I assure you, it isn't. Women always think it's different, Nicole, but it never is."
"Not this time!" I said. "When he first found out...yes, he went back to her, but that was because he was confused. He didn't know what to do, he had to take responsibility. He doesn't care about her," I insisted.
"Déjà fucking vu," he said, rolling his eyes.
That irritated the hell out of me, because I knew what he had to be thinking. "Alex, it isn't like that. He isn't Mike. You don't understand. He came back to me, not the other way around."
"I can't believe this," he said, shaking his head. "I can't believe you're doing this."
I felt indescribably desperate to get him to understand, to prove that our situation was different. "He cares about me. I know he does. I can feel it. And we've both acknowledged that this is going to be harder, but we're both determined to make this work. He isn't going to go back to her, now—"
"Yeah, sure he isn't," he said sarcastically. "He's never going to hurt you again, right? Now that he's screwed up big time, he's going to be the perfect boyfriend and you two will live happily ever after in a little cottage with singing birds to help you do the household chores. While you're at it, you and the ex-girlfriend will overcome your differences, she’ll see this was for the best, that Derek belongs with you, she'll happily find someone else and you two can be pals. You'll all live happily ever after."
I glared. "I don't appreciate your sarcasm."
"Well, I don't appreciate your stupidity," he returned.
"I'm not stupid," I told him. "I've thought this through—"
"No, Nicole, you haven't. You cannot possibly grasp what it's going to be like. Right now that baby isn't real to him, but when it's born..." He shook his head. "I cannot believe that after everything your mother went through—I thought you were smarter and stronger than Jamie was."
"I am!"
"Obviously not," he said tiredly, "since now I have to watch you do to yourself exactly what she did to herself."
I shook my head, feeling a little angry, a little sad, but mostly tired. "You're wrong."
He gave a sarcastic guffaw and nodded, smirking at the wall. "Yeah, clearly. It's not like I was there or anything, so clearly you know what you're talking about."
"You weren't here when it was all happening, Alex," I said a bit resentfully, annoyed that he wanted to pretend he knew everything.
"No, Nicole, I wasn't. However, I was the only person that your mother actually cried to about him. She told me everything. We talked for hours one night, she told me everything he said, everything he did, every reason she held on, when she fell in love with him, why she fell in love with him. And you know what, Nicole? I heard it all then, and you're saying exactly what she said. He's different, is he, Nicole? Then why did he knock up his ex? He's not different. One night he's giving you bedroom eyes and making you think you've got him, but the next he’s fucking her. He's not different, Nicole, he's just a normal guy, just like Mike, just like me... he isn't special. You say he doesn't care about her? 'It's not about Sarah, it's about the baby,'" he said heavily. "Mike said it to her and she said it to me, and you know what, Nicole, it was a load of bullshit. Even if it's true, even if he doesn't care about her, that doesn't matter anymore. If you were smart, you'd walk away right now."
"I can't!" I blurted.
For the first time, I thought I saw disappointment in his eyes, and I had to look away.
Alex stood up. "I guess I just thought you were stronger than that," he said, walking over to the table and slipping on his coat, feeling the pocket for the keys and picking up his cigarettes, depositing them into his other pocket.
"I didn't mean to fall in love with him," I admitted, my eyes burning a little. "I didn't want to."
"Neither did she. I had to watch her pain. Don't make me watch yours, too," he said, opening the trailer door and preparing to step out.
"This really is different, Alex," I said one last time, although I was out of gusto, so my voice lacked any emotion.
He paused briefly, glancing at me over his shoulder. "I hope you're right."
With that, he walked out and shut the door behind him, leaving me as he had found me, all by myself to watch the world's worst horror movie.
Later that night I tried to call Derek, wanting him to make me feel a little better about everything. Unfortunately I got his voice mail both times, so I gave up and went to bed.
Another dream of my mother might've been nice after my fight with Alex, but instead of my mother I dreamed of the bleachers on the football field, of Derek sitting on the bleachers next to Kayla. They were engaged, as her family had been pressuring him, but he promised me that even though he was marrying Kayla, he cared about me and he wouldn't even kiss her. Of course then Kayla whined and pressured him, and he did kiss her.
I made myself wake up at that point, and even though I realized it was only 4:40 and I didn't need to be up yet, I couldn't go back to sleep.
Alex had not bothered to come home, I realized as I made my way to the computer to work on some more scholarship stuff.
I decided to blow it off, because I didn't want to think about anything he said, and I knew from experience that if I pretended it never happened, he probably would.
I caught up with Derek in our first class, and he came over and sat on my desk like old times.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hi," I said a bit breathlessly, sitting down and digging my books out of my bag. "We have a test today, don't we?" I asked, yanking my notebook out to review real quick.
"Were you up all night studying?" he asked, lightly tilting my chin up so he could get a better look at my eyes.
"No, actually I barely studied at all. Why?"
"You look tired," he said.
"Couldn't sleep," I said vaguely, opening my notebook.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
I shook my head, but I didn't look up at him. "No."
"Are you lying to me?" he asked, his eyes twinkling a little.
I shook my head. "No, it's nothing. I got in a little bit of a... debate with Alex, then I had bad dreams all night, so... sleeping just didn't happen."
"What are you and Alex fighting about?"
I shook my head. "Just... stupid stuff. I tried to call you last night," I told him, looking up at him.
"Yeah, sorry, I got your voice mail this morning. My phone was off."
"Oh," I said, nodding a little, hoping he would tell me why without prompting.
He didn't. He just said, "So, other than fight with your dad, what did you do last night?"
"Watched a really bad horror movie, ate popcorn... nothing too eventful. And you? What were you doing?" I asked lightly.
"I was just hanging out with some friends after work. Nothing too eventful."
He was hanging out with friends? That was why he couldn't answer the phone to me? I felt a little bit stingy that hearing that annoyed me, that I felt like he should have spent that time with me. Of course he should still hang out with his friends. After all, I didn't own him; he didn't have to spend every free moment with me.
Still, would it have killed him to answer his phone?
Over the next couple of days, I didn't really see Derek at all. I got to see him in class and at lunch, but that was it. He was working seven days that week, which I only learned when I finally got up the nerve to say something to him Thursday about not seeing him.
Friday night when I was at work Stephanie asked me if I wanted to come to a party afterward. I told her I was going to attempt to call my boyfriend when he got off work, because I was in need of some attention. She gave me a funny look and said, "I thought he had that thing with Kayla today."
My blood froze. "What thing with Kayla?"
"I don't know, maybe I'm wrong," she said apprehensively. "He would have told you. I thought she said it was today."
"What was today?" I asked more sharply than I intended.
Stephanie seemed to be a little nervous. "You should ask him, I don't want to..."
"Steph," I said, giving her a pointed look.
"It was nothing, really," she said. "I just thought... I mean... You know how Kayla's family is. I thought he was going to her grandma's house tonight."
I felt instant relief, and even half smiled. "Oh, no, he met the grandparents last weekend."
"No, I know, but I thought they were having dinner tonight, too. I called Kayla last night and she was helping her grandmother make the pie for dessert."
The relief evaporated. "What?" I asked, confused.
"I could be wrong," she offered apologetically, shrugging a little.
I shook my head. "Derek is not that stupid. I refuse to believe I could be dating somebody that stupid."
So I called him during my break, but I got his voice mail.
"Derek, this is Nikki—you know, your girlfriend. Your real one, anyway. I was just calling to see what you're doing. I know you said you worked tonight, but I couldn't remember if you went in at four or six, and... Well, um, I guess I'm gonna go. Call me as soon as you get off, I need to... Just call me, okay? I need to verify something."
I got off work at seven, and I decided to drive slightly out of my way to Burger King just to make sure Derek's car was there.
It wasn't.
So I pulled out my cell phone and dialed Burger King's number.
"Hey, can I talk to Derek?" I asked once the kid finished his greeting.
"He isn't here," the kid said.
"Oh. I thought he worked tonight?"
"He did, but he switched with someone. Said something came up."
"Well, what came up?" I asked.
"I'm really not allowed to... I don't really know, anyway."
Rather than continue to make the kid nervous, I sighed and said, "Thank you, I'll just ask him myself."
By the time Derek called me at 10:30, I was over my shock and moving into new territory. If the son of a bitch lied to me and snuck over to Kayla's, he could have her. I was done. I would not be his idiot.
"Hey," he greeted.
"Hey," I greeted casually, deciding to play it cool. "How was work? Busy?"
He paused briefly, then started to say, "Um, yeah... Actually, since you mention it, I was going to—You were going to study tomorrow anyway, right?"
"No way," I said a little enthusiastically. "My boyfriend only works until four, I only work until three, we should definitely spend some time together."
"I would love to, but actually I have to work. I have to work until four, then I have to work again from six to close, so I was thinking I would just take my homework and do that during my two hour break, and just not even leave."
"Why do you have to work?" I asked, giving him one last chance to come clean. "I thought you were off tomorrow night."
There was another brief pause on his end, then he said, "I was. I switched my hours with Chris. He worked for me tonight, and I work for him tomorrow."
"You didn't work tonight," I reiterated.
"No."
"Why?" I asked.
He sighed. "Don't get pissed."
"That's a great start, Derek."
"I had to go over to Kayla's," he said in a tone that told me he was preparing to fight.
"Kayla's?" I repeated.
He sighed again. "Nikki, I don't feel like fighting with you. I am exhausted and—"
"Yeah, and I don't feel like sharing my boyfriend with his ex-girlfriend, either, so I guess neither one of us got what we expected out of this relationship," I snapped.
"All we ever do anymore is fucking fight," he said, raising his voice a little.
"That's because you keep doing fucking stupid things!" I shot back. "You know that we got in a fight about this last week, and yet you kept it from me again? Why would you do something so idiotic, Derek?"
"Because I didn't feel like doing this, Nicole. Yeah, I could have called you right after Kayla called me, but we would have just fought before and after, and you would have been worried about it the whole time."
"You still haven't said why you were over there."
"You're not going to care," he said. "You're sure as hell not going to think it's a good reason."
"Give me the benefit of the doubt," I suggested.
I heard him utter another sigh. "Okay. Kayla called me. She was crying."
I paused for about a half a second. "Yeah, not hearing any good reasons yet."
"I guess her mother... she wasn't planning on telling her yet, and her mother found out. I guess her mom is really religious, and she freaked out on Kayla, and... it's a long story, but Kayla needed me to come over so she could reassure her mother and let her grandparents know officially."
"I have several questions. One, why did you have to be there? Two, why didn't you tell me when you first found out so I didn't have to hear it from someone else? Three, are you going to be running to her rescue now every single time she cries? Because if you are, she's going to cry a lot."
"I already told you, I didn't want to fight. I knew if I called you at work to tell you I had to call off so I could go be with Kayla, it wouldn't go over very well."
"So why didn't you tell me this morning at school, Derek? Or at lunch? Why did you think intentionally keeping it from me would make it better?"
"I didn't know about it then, Nikki," he said defensively. "Kayla called me at four o'clock crying her eyes out. I really didn't have time to do much, and I didn't want to call you at work. I figured you would find out later, and I knew you would be mad, so I figured I'd put it off until I could explain myself."
"Why would... four o'clock? Today?"
"Yeah," he said. "It's not like this was planned, Nikki. I would have told you about it if it would have been."
I frowned, thinking about what Steph had said. "When did she say her mom found out?"
"I don't know when, she just said her mom was waiting for her when she got home from school. I would assume she probably found out somehow this morning."
That just didn't add up.
"Well, tell me, did they say anything?"
"They said a lot. Be more specific."
"Did they say anything about finding out today?"
"No," he said. "Kayla said it's a sore subject, she didn't want me to mention how they found out or anything."
Derek and I didn't talk much longer. Given our argument and Derek's drowsiness, we decided not to hang out that night, and obviously we wouldn't be able to hang out the next night because he would be working.
Instead, I decided to do a little snooping, and I got on my cell phone and texted Stephanie, asking her to do me a favor.
"Sure, what's up?" she asked.
I asked her to find out for me, just to sate my curiosity, how long Kayla had been planning the dinner with Derek.
A few minutes later she sent back, "A few days."
"One more question," I texted. "How did her mom find out she was pregnant?"
"She told her," was the quick response.
That was interesting.
Very interesting.