Chapter Fifteen-
Since my boyfriend was being such a dumbass, I decided to once again take matters into my own hands.
Something was up with Kayla. I wasn't sure exactly what, how far her deceit ran, but I knew she was keeping him in the dark, and poor Derek was too busy working to realize the light even went out.
I really, really didn't want to do it, but I decided that in order to fix things I had to start with Derek.
That meant I had to talk to Mike.
On Sunday afternoon I showed up on Derek's doorstep.
Mike came to greet me, faltering when he saw who it was.
"Hi, Nicole. Um, Derek isn't here," he said.
"I know," I said, nodding. "I came to talk to you."
His eyebrows shot up, and he glanced behind me as if expecting to see a group of outraged villagers with pitchforks and lanterns. "Me?"
I nodded. "It's about Derek. May I come in for a minute?"
"Oh, sure," he said, awkwardly backing up and opening the door to let me inside.
I stepped inside, beginning to feel a little awkward myself. Mike motioned to the couch for me to have a seat, which I did, holding my purse in my lap and looking down at my hands to avoid looking at him.
"I'm here because I'm worried about Derek," I started, making myself look him in the eye.
Mike frowned, his blue eyes dimming a little. "Is Derek okay?"
"Sort of," I replied. "I'm not sure if you're aware of this or not, but this whole situation with Kayla… well, he's not himself."
Mike nodded in understanding. "I'm sure he isn't. When you first get news like this… At the risk of getting my head taken off, I'm going to refer back to when I was in this predicament. For a good month I was just a blob. I just sat around stupidly, dazed… your mother would try to cheer me up and… well, anyway, it's not unusual to feel thrown when you get news like this, trust me."
"It's not him being thrown that concerns me," I stated, mildly irritated at being brushed off. "I allowed for the fact that this is very bad news, that he doesn't want to have a kid with Kayla. I'm not talking about that. He's taking way too much of this upon himself. I understand that he's trying to take responsibility, but she is taking advantage of him and he doesn't even seem to notice. I miss my boyfriend. I want him back. His stand-in just isn't doing it for me."
Mike cracked a smile. "You obviously like him a lot if you're willing to put up with this."
"Yeah, I do," I said.
"I really don't know what advice to give you, Nicole," he said apologetically. "As you may have noticed, I'm not very good with this particular topic."
"I'm not asking for advice. That's not why I came here."
"Then why did you come here?" he returned.
"Derek is working too much. I don't frankly give a damn if Kayla has insurance, I don't care if she has to give birth in the back of a minivan. The only thing I care about is Derek, and he is killing himself working this much. There is no reason for him to be working seven days a week and going to school. You are his father, but you're also his boss. What I'm asking is that you please consider cutting some of his days. He does not need to be working like this."
Mike's eyebrows furrowed in concern. "He's working seven days a week?"
"You didn't know that?" I asked, frowning. "You're his father, he lives with you."
"I know that, but… I just assumed he was with you or… no, he shouldn't be working that much."
"Well, he is, and he's turning into a zombie. He isn't even doing half of his schoolwork, and Derek is too smart to be falling behind in school."
"He's falling behind in school?"
I had to bite my tongue to keep from asking if he knew anything about his son. "He's working two jobs and catering to Kayla; he doesn't have time for school." I stood up, putting my purse on my shoulder. "Anyway, I just wanted to ask you if you could do something about this. Derek thinks he needs the money, but he isn't thinking clearly right now. He's still young, and if this baby is so expensive then Kayla can start working, but it's not entirely Derek's responsibility and I don't know how to get that through to him. I can't undo what he was raised to believe."
With that, I offered a slight nod and made my way out of the house.
To my surprise, I got a call from Derek two hours later.
"What are you doing?" he asked me.
"I'm working on my research paper for human behavior, what are you doing?"
"Nothing yet. I was going to see if you wanted to come over, or me to come over or something."
"I thought you were working," I said.
"I was," he said on a sigh, "but my dad sent me home, said he was watching labor and he didn't need me. I thought… since we haven't been getting along very well lately…"
"That we should spend some quality time together?" I asked, smiling a little.
"Yeah," he said. "What do you say?"
"I say it's about damn time. Get your butt over here."
He chuckled. "I'll be there soon."
"Bring some homework just in case," I added.
"Yes, Miss Harmon," he said dryly.
"I'll see you in a bit," I said.
"Bye," he said.
Those were really fast results. Maybe Mike would actually listen to me. If only I could get my boyfriend to listen to me, too. It would sure make my life easier.
Once I got Derek focusing more on his homework and his future—not to mention his girlfriend—all I had to do was convince him that Kayla was not a damsel in distress. And if he didn't get that through his thick head… well, I didn't want to think about that. I wasn't willing to tolerate my boyfriend dropping me every other minute because some other bitch yanked on his chain.
When Derek showed up I made sure to get a nice long hug, just in case I didn't get another one for a while.
"Hey, stranger," I greeted.
"Hey," he said, giving me a kiss. "You look surprisingly happy to see me."
"Should I not be happy to see you?" I asked, wondering what new stupid thing he had done.
"I don't know, you haven't seemed overly fond of me lately."
"Well, you haven't been overly considerate of your girlfriend lately," I returned levelly.
He sighed, a flicker of irritation crossing his features. "I'm trying, Nikki."
I nodded, my arms still wrapped around his neck. "I know. You're trying too hard."
"Maybe," he conceded. "I'm still learning how to do this. None of your books tell me how, do they?"
"No, but can I give you a bit of advice?" I asked.
"Go for it."
"Stop trying to do everything yourself," I said simply. "I know that you're Superman and everything, but it just isn't necessary. You have a whole support system available to you. If you would stop pushing me away, you know I'm here for you. Your dad is probably there for you. And let's not forget Kayla. She isn't there for you, but she has her own support system. She has her own friends, her own family—she is not your responsibility, Derek."
He sighed. "We're not going to start fighting about her again, are we?"
"Not unless you get defensive when I'm just trying to talk to you," I returned evenly.
Acknowledging that I was right, he bowed his head sheepishly. "I'm not there for Kayla, Nikki. You know that you're the one I care about."
After a brief hesitation, I amended, "I… would like to know that, Derek, but lately it doesn't feel that way."
"Nikki, if I didn't care about you I would just get back together with Kayla and make my life a hell of a lot easier. How can you possibly not know that I care about you?"
"I do think you care about me, I'm just not sure that you care enough."
He just stared at me. "I don't understand how that's possible."
I wasn't sure how to have the conversation we needed to have without fighting, but since I had him at my house, I figured even if we did end up fighting, I could most likely control the situation.
"Derek… I need you to do something for me."
"Name it," he said.
"I need you to prove that you care about me. It's nice to hear, yes, but I need you to show it."
He sighed, rolling his eyes toward the ceiling. "How am I supposed to do that?"
"Leave Kayla alone. I know that it isn't simple, but you need to set boundaries. You're letting her think she can just yank on your leash and you'll come running. I need you to stop doing that. I don't care if Kayla calls you crying. She's a viper, Derek, and a liar and… everything else that I would like to say, but won't out of respect for your kid."
"I know you don't like her…"
"It's more than that, Derek. She manipulates you. I know you don't always realize it, but she does. I don't know why, I don't know what her problem is, or exactly what's up her sleeve, but it's like she just enjoys playing with our lives. Please stop letting her. Stop lying to me; you know I will find out eventually, so what's the point?"
"I don't try to lie to you, Nikki. I already told you that I was going to tell you about dinner."
"Did you lie to me about when you found out?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I told you, Kayla called me, it was just one of those things, it had just happened, and I needed to help her do some damage control. It isn't going to happen often, it was a one-time thing."
"Derek, she lied to you," I told him.
He frowned a little. "What?"
"She lied to you about that dinner, about her mother accidentally finding out. It was not a last minute thing. Kayla was planning that dinner with her grandparents for several days, she just lied and used tears to get you to agree to it. I don't know why, I just know that she did."
"No, that's not… Her mom had just found out, that was the whole reason I had to be there."
"No, she lied about that," I corrected.
Derek frowned, and I could tell he was mulling it over, but he wasn't convinced that I was right.
"Did you have pie for dessert?" I asked.
One eyebrow shot up. "Yeah."
"How would I know that?" I asked. "I wasn't there, and you certainly didn't share the details."
"How did you find this out?" he asked, frowning.
"Stephanie. Apparently Kayla slipped up in her little game, because she told Stephanie the night before that she was making pie with her grandma for that dinner."
"She lied to me," he reiterated.
"Yes," I said, nodding.
"And I fell for it?" he questioned.
"Hook, line and sinker."
He shook his head. "Stupid bitch."
"I'm going to assume you're referring to Kayla, not me."
He looked down at me, half smiling. "Obviously."
"That's good. I'd hate to have to reprimand you," I said a bit playfully.
He smiled. "And how are you going to reprimand me, half-pint?"
I smiled sweetly and tugged on his shirt, pulling him down the hall toward my bedroom. "Why don't you come find out?"
He raised an eyebrow. "Well, hell, I might misbehave more often," he said, following me inside and shutting the door behind him.
Derek let out a satisfied sigh about an hour later. "That has not happened recently enough," he stated.
I smiled, snuggling closer to him and kissing him on the shoulder. "See, it's nice when you spend time with your girlfriend, isn't it?"
"Very nice," he said, pulling me a little closer and placing a little kiss on my forehead.
I stayed just like that, curled up in his arms, savoring the comfortable feeling of being all cozy and snuggled up to him. When he lightly caressed my arm, I closed my eyes and pressed my face into his chest, wishing we could stay like that forever, knowing that it wasn't possible.
The way our relationship was going, there didn't seem to be a guarantee that we would even be nice to each other the next day, so I was hoarding all the cuddle time I could get.
"I wish we could be like this all the time," I absently told him.
"We can," he responded.
"In my dreams, yes," I said with a slight nod. "In reality… not so much."
"Have you done anymore thinking about college?" he asked.
I grinned up at him. "Smooth subject change, Noble."
"Wasn't it?" he replied with a smile. "I already applied at the community college and took the placement tests. Have you done that yet?"
I nodded. "I placed into the highest English, but I'm going to go back one more time before I'm satisfied with my math score. I took my last math course last year, so I'm a little out of practice."
"I'm good at math; I had more trouble with English. It's amazing that I'm an American born and raised, yet I get barely a B in English and an A in French. How the hell does that happen?"
Smiling, I said, "I guess you were born to be a Frenchman."
"I'm Polish," he stated.
I gave him a mock sympathetic face. "I'm so sorry."
"Shut up," he said, tickling me in the side and causing me to squirm away from him.
"Okay, okay, I'll be nice," I said, blocking his hands with a little laugh.
"Doubt it," he responded.
I was about to make a comeback, but then I heard what was unmistakably Alex's car pull into the driveway.
I jumped off the bed, grabbing at my clothes and throwing Derek's back at him. "Get these on," I told him, yanking my gray Grease T-shirt on over my head.
"What's going on?" he asked, confusion all over his handsome face as he caught the shirt I flung at him.
"Alex is home," I stated, hopping across the floor and attempting to pull my foot through my pant leg.
Derek merely gave me a funny look, half amused, half confused. "So?"
"So… he isn't quite as supportive of our relationship this week, and I just think it would be better if he didn't find us like this. Get up," I said, throwing his blue and white plaid boxers at him.
He muttered as he sullenly pulled his clothes on, but he did finally get dressed and come skulking out into the living room where I had already planted myself on the couch and cracked open a textbook.
Derek shook his head as he sat down beside me, asking quietly, "Since when does Alex have a problem with me?"
Before I could answer him, the door opened and Alex stepped inside. His gaze immediately fell to Derek, but instead of acknowledging him he mutely stared at him for a second, his gaze sliding over to me.
"Hey," he muttered.
"Hi," I returned brightly.
Alex glanced at the book in my lap, then briefly over to Derek. "Studying?" he directed at us.
"Oh yeah," I replied a little too fervently. "Lots of studying. We have a test this week, so…"
With a nod Alex remarked, "I hope it's not in sex ed."
My smile lost much of its momentum and I quickly glanced over at Derek, hoping he wasn’t offended.
Alex grabbed an energy drink from the refrigerator and plucked a piece of paper off the outside, casually sticking it in his pocket.
"You're on your own for dinner, I'm going out with Katrina. You know the number to the pizza place," he said, flipping his cell phone open and dialing some numbers.
I thought we were in the clear, but Alex called over his shoulder, "By the way, tell Derek he forgot to zip up his fly."
I flushed, burying my face in one of my hands and using the other one to pick up a pillow and throw it at Derek's head.
"Oops," he muttered, throwing the pillow back at me.
I made sure Derek was gone when Alex got home later that night, and I was curled up on the couch with some homework. When he walked in, I looked up as if everything was great between us, smiling and asking how his dinner was.
He gave me a dry look. "Fabulous. How was your night with the Noble kid?"
"He's the Noble kid now?" I asked, unable to maintain my smile.
"Forgive me if I don't start calling him son just yet," Alex said, opening the refrigerator and snatching a bottle of beer.
As I watched him open it, I asked a bit dryly, "Why, isn't he good enough for you?"
"Sure," he responded, looking me dead in the eyes. "But he's definitely not good enough for you."
I looked down then, giving in to that particular feeling of guilt that only parents can produce in their children. "Look, it's my choice, okay?"
"Yes, it is. It's a bad one, but it's yours. I'll remind you of that in a few years."
I rolled my eyes, standing up. "You know, I really don't understand why you're being such a jerk about this. It's not like you've ever even been interested in my life before, and now all of a sudden you're a concerned father?"
"Well, you used to be a smart girl who never made bad decisions. I couldn't figure out how you could possibly be the offspring of me and your mother, but the genes are finally showing through."
"I already told you, I'm not my mom," I stated, not at all in the mood for more lectures on what a dumbass I was turning out to be.
"You tell me that, yes, but your actions say otherwise, Nicole." He took a sip of his beer. "Now, I could sit here and explain to you all of the reasons you should just dump Derek right now and get out while you're ahead, but you won't listen to me anyway. You don't listen to me any more than your mother ever did—in that way you are exactly like her. Stubborn Harmon girls," he said, shaking his head. "You're all convinced you're right, then you act all surprised when some bastard smashes your heart open for the umpteenth time."
I frowned a little as I studied him a little closer. "Are you drunk?"
He smiled, tilting his head to the side a little. "Guilty."
"You just opened it."
"Katrina made dinner at home and there was lots of beer in her fridge."
"Did you drive?" I asked, my eyes widening.
"I'm an excellent drunk driver, and we were talking about your stupidity, not mine. Now, back to Mike's demon spawn."
"Ugh, Dad, just go to bed," I said, rolling my eyes in disgust and turning to go down the hall.
"No, come back here." He stood, pausing unsteadily and walked down the hall after me. "I want to talk to you."
"No, I don't want to talk about it," I retorted stubbornly.
"Of course you don't," he said easily, "because in your heart you know you're fucking your life up, just like Jamie did."
It always aggravated me when he talked like he understood my mother, because I had read her journals, and I knew her feelings for Alex. "You say that like you know what her thoughts were."
"Oh, I knew Jamie's thoughts more than most, Nicole Harmon,"' he said arrogantly.
"How's that? All the long conversations you shared?" I asked a sarcastically.
He laughed a little. "If you only knew. I knew more about your mother than anyone else did, she just…didn't like me very much," he said. "I suppose I probably didn't help, but…that's not the point. She still told me things—things she didn't tell anyone else. Mike may have been the one she loved, but I…" He paused, his gaze moving to the ground as he tried to focus on what he meant. "I was her friend. I was the one that she told…" He trailed off, a distant look on his face that I took for confusion.
Assuming that Alex was just being a maudlin drunk, I didn't take anything he said to heart. "Yeah, I know you were," I said, mostly just to humor him.
"Things…she never told anyone else," he repeated, leaning against our trailer wall. "Why did she have to tell me?"
Normally I wouldn't even pay attention to Alex when he was drunkenly blabbing on, but there was something in the way he slouched against the wall, his gaze distant, almost haunted.
I hesitantly questioned, "Things like what?"
He didn't answer, just stared at the ugly brown carpet on the ground. Finally, he shook his head slowly and said, "Nothing."
With that, he pushed himself away from the wall and said, "I have to work tomorrow, I need to go to sleep."
"Dad," I said, stopping him with the title I seldom used on him.
He stopped for a moment, but just long enough to smile at me in a way that I knew if there had been a window of opportunity to find some deep dark secret he might harbor in that seemingly shallow head of his, the window had closed. With a light tousle to my curls, he swayed slightly and then made his way to his room, closing the door behind him with a murmured, "'Night, kid."
I stared at his door for just a moment longer, sighing and dismissing the whole drunken ordeal as I went back to my homework.