Finn was in another meeting when I finished my work for the day. Part of me wanted to slip past unnoticed and get away for a bit. Dustin was already waiting for me by the elevator. It would be easy to send Finn a quick text and head out without him knowing.
But my conscience overrode that decision. He’d worry and that wasn’t fair, even if I was pissed off that he hadn’t mentioned Tracy or their lunch last week.
I stopped at Leslie’s desk, catching her as she was grabbing her purse. “You up for a drink?”
She blinked at me. “Rough day?”
“You have no idea. Rough month, really, and I’ll tell you all about it once I’ve got some tequila in me.”
“Sounds promising. Sure.”
“We’re meeting at Paige’s place if that’s okay.”
“As long as there’s food and drinks, I’m there.”
I grabbed a notepad off her desk. “Can I borrow this?”
“Absolutely.” She leaned in and lowered her voice, her eyes flicking to the elevator. “Are you going to explain the escort, too? Cause, yeah…I’m trying to mind my own business, but he’s kind of there all the time now.”
“I’ll explain everything but you’re going to need a lot of wine.”
I scribbled a quick note for Finn and returned the pad to Leslie’s desk. I debated asking her to bring it in to him. Coward. But it was bad enough I’d had to listen to Tracy all afternoon as she went on and on about Finn. During all of Tracy’s reminiscing, and that woman had a wonderful memory of Finn’s attributes, she happened to mention what a great connection they had last week at lunch.
If he was connecting with anyone, I certainly didn’t want it to be Tracy.
But the other part of me, the rational part, kept saying, You broke up with him!
Damn right I did. But not so he’d head straight out with an old girlfriend and connect. Then this week he was asking me to move in with him! I had whiplash. The least he could have done was tell me about her so I had a heads up.
“Be right back,” I told Leslie.
Finn’s deep voice hit me the moment I arrived at the door, almost making me lose my resolve. Damn. He looked good sitting at his desk in his dark suit. Voice serious and focused, fingers strong as he tapped a pen against a pad of paper. No wonder Tracy went on and on about him.
Fuck that. He still should have told me about lunch with her.
“There’s still more work to do here,” Finn said to the person on the phone. “I’m tied up with this project at the moment.”
He met my eyes when I stepped in. Without hesitating, I hurried to his desk and deposited the note. I gave him a short wave and turned.
“Wait—I’m sorry, can you hold for a minute?” he asked whoever he was talking to.
I grimaced, glancing over my shoulder. “I’ll call you later,” I said in a hushed voice.
He stood from the desk, snatching my note and reading it quickly. “You’re going to Paige’s tonight?”
I nodded. “Dustin is at the elevator waiting. I’ll give you a call—”
“Damn it, hold on. Did you get my text earlier?”
Glancing to the door, I kept my voice low, hoping no one else would hear. “I did. We can talk about it later.”
He eyed his phone like he might hang up on the caller. “If you give me a minute, I can walk with you. Or—”
“No, thanks. I’m good. See you.”
“What the hell, Charlotte? Are you still mad about the cabin?”
I smiled my sweetest smile. “No, I’m mad about Tracy Portman, who actually happens to be a nice person I’d probably be friends with if I hadn’t just spent most of the afternoon listening to how much she still loves you.”
His mouth opened and then closed. He gathered himself before saying, “Tracy? How do you know Tracy?”
“She’s the one I met with about the restaurant. Glad to know you two are still in touch. She really is just head over heels for you, so you’ll forgive me if it takes a few hours to process. Now, if you’ll excuse me.”
“Charlotte,” he snapped, coming halfway around his desk.
I lifted my chin. “Watch it.”
“There’s nothing going on with Tracy.”
“Is that what you told her last week at lunch?”
His mouth opened again but nothing came out. My lips curved into a pained smile. “I thought so.”
He sighed. “Please, Charlotte.”
“You need to give me this—tonight at least. I need…girl time. I need to vent. I—” I waved my hand dismissively. “It doesn’t matter. Finish your phone call and I’ll see you later.”
I heard his voice behind me as I walked out but didn’t turn back. I had no reason not to trust Finn but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt listening to Tracy talk about him and their relationship. Especially a relationship she still wanted to be in.
Leslie gave me a wide-eyed smile as I reached the elevator. “Time for tequila?” she asked.
“More than time.”
Paige was the ultimate host. She already had a platter of cheese out and wine glasses ready for us when we arrived. When she saw my face, she backed away from the door. “I have hard liquor.”
Leslie nodded. “I’d say it doesn’t hurt to bring it out now.”
I dropped my purse on the chair by the door and collapsed on Paige’s sofa, letting my shoes fall to the floor. “You’re probably going to want to ignore what I’m about to say,” I told Leslie. “You know, being that you’re all in love and flying in the clouds with little hearts in your eyes.”
She laughed. “I don’t have hearts in my eyes.”
“Sure, you don’t.”
“Wait, don’t start without me!” Paige yelled from the other room. “Tequila or vodka?”
“Yes, please.”
Paige snickered and returned with both as well as shot glasses. “I have limes, too. But really you should at least eat some cheese first. The pizza is on its way.”
I snagged a piece of cheese and said, “Men are clueless.”
“Oh, this is nothing new.” Leslie poured three shots of tequila. “Even when you have hearts in your eyes.”
Paige sighed. “Ah…I wish I had hearts in my eyes.”
“What about Tucker?” I asked.
She smiled and shrugged. “A few late-night conversations but I think we’re better off as friends.”
I immediately thought of Jake. “Oh, you know who—”
“Stop.” Paige held up her hand. “I can only handle one set-up every few months. If it’s meant to happen, it’ll happen.”
“Cheers to that,” Leslie said, lifting her glass.
I rose mine too and clinked in the middle of the table. “Cheers to fate.”
“And hearts in the eyes!”
On a roll of laughter, I downed my tequila, grimaced and slid my glass to the middle of the table where Paige was already pouring more.
“I didn’t think we’d be drinking tequila tonight,” Paige said. “Did something else happen today?”
“Something else?” Leslie asked.
Paige’s eyes met mine like she wasn’t sure whether or not to say anything. She knew how discreet I was being about all of this. But we didn’t have to worry about the cameras anymore—not with John gone and a new guy at the controls. And I was tired of keeping it a secret.
“Oh, yes, there’s more,” I said. “And I’ll tell you both all about it. But first, another toast.”
I held up my glass and waited for Leslie and Paige to do the same.
“Congratulations, Leslie, on your engagement—”
“Holy, shit!” Paige said, tipping her glass and spilling some of her drink. “Where have I been? How come I didn’t hear this news?”
Leslie held out her hand so Paige could see the ring.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. Then, looking at me, she said, “I changed my mind, Charlotte, set me up. I want a pretty ring.”
With more laughter, we drank another shot. The more I drank, the more I talked. I told Leslie all about Mark and John and how Finn wanted me to move in. Then I told them about Tracy and her stories about Finn and their weeks together.
“Maybe he was just…you know, getting over you,” Leslie said. “I mean, not like he was using her necessarily, but…it sounds like he loved you even though he was too afraid to say it. And then you dump him. That had to hurt.”
“It’s not that,” I said, shifting on the couch. Already feeling the effects of the alcohol and knowing I was going to regret it tomorrow when I had to get up early. “I know he was moving on, too. It’s that I had to hear about it this afternoon. After Finn asked me to move in with him. I had to hear all about how she’s been emailing with him and how they had lunch last week—”
“Whoa,” Paige said, standing and wobbling a little. “You didn’t say that before.”
“Eat more cheese,” Leslie suggested. “No, you didn’t mention that.”
Paige frowned. “Where is that pizza? How come he was having lunch with her?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. But even worse, she wants him back. Like, she’s completely ready to go for it. And if she’s that invested, it means she has no idea he’s already in a relationship.”
“Although, he wasn’t at that point, right?” Paige asked. “Because you broke up with him. I mean, sorry Charlotte. God, that was insensitive. I’m just saying, that could be why he didn’t say anything when he was having lunch with her.”
I swallowed. “No, you’re right. I mean, I know he still cared at that point. He was trying to get back together with me but I could see why he didn’t say anything.”
And the realization was heavy in my stomach. I couldn’t exactly blame Finn for any of this.
Leslie smiled at me. “Regardless, that bitch had better back off. And Finn needs to make it clear where he stands with her. If not, then he’s definitely an asshole.” She blinked at the tequila. “Oh, shit. I just called my boss an asshole. I need food.”
Laughing, I stood. “I’ll grab water.”
A slow buzz made its way to my head. Suddenly I was a lot less angry with Finn. And a lot more hungry. A knock sounded at the door.
“I’ll get it,” I said, already halfway there. I opened the door, surprised to find Dustin holding a box of pizza. I peered down the hallway. “Where did he go?”
“I took care of it,” Dustin said, passing the box over.
“Oh, no, you didn’t have to. It’s—”
“Better that way, Ms. Evans. No problem.”
“Oh,” I said again, realizing what he meant. He didn’t want anyone coming to the door. It was safer this way. “Now I feel bad. Let me find my purse. Just, hold on—”
“Please don’t worry about it. It’s taken care of.”
Guilt seeped in. “Can I at least get you something to eat or drink or—”
“No, thank you. I’ll switch shifts in a few hours.”
“You don’t have to stay. Really. Or I can call when I’m ready to go.” At his look, I sighed. “Okay, I know. We’ve gone over this. It’s your job.”
He smiled kindly. “Right.”
“Just…” I gestured inside. “Let me know if you need anything.”
“I will. And Ms. Evans…if you don’t mind me saying. Mr. Moore has been calling to check in on you. I told him I wouldn’t leave the door but I think he’d be more reassured if he heard from you.”
I nodded. “Thanks, Dustin.”
I delivered the box of pizza to the table while Paige found plates and napkins.
“I’ll be there in a minute,” I called, snatching my phone from my purse and walking down the hall for some privacy.
The minute the screen lit up, guilt ate at me again. There were three texts and two missed calls from Finn.
Just wanted to make sure you made it okay.
Let me know when you’re ready to leave. I’ll come get you.
I’m so sorry about Tracy.
I didn’t check the voice messages but instead called his number. When he picked up, I heard noise in the background. “Charlotte,” he said immediately. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine. Where are you?”
“With Jake. At the restaurant in Housing. I wanted to be close in case you needed me.”
“Dustin’s here, Finn. You don’t have to—”
“I’m waiting until you’re ready to go. I can come get you. Or we can go to your place. Wherever you want. But you’re not staying alone.”
I leaned against the wall, closing my eyes. The floor felt like it was moving beneath me and I opened my eyes again. “I understand. We might be a while longer.”
“Take as long as you need.”
“Finn…” I sighed. There were so many things I wanted to say in that one moment. “I’m sorry about before.”
“Don’t apologize. Enjoy your evening. I’ll wait for your call.”
I nodded to myself as I ended the call. Finn was close by. And even though we’d had a rough day, things were still okay. Which meant I’d better enjoy myself while I had the chance because after today I had a lot of work to do to get my week in order.
Especially if I planned on telling Finn I thought we should head to the cabin soon.
“You sure it’s okay if I crash here tonight?” Jake asked me and Finn as we entered Finn’s apartment from the elevator later that same night.
“Of course it’s okay,” I said, laughing when the words came out slower than I meant them to. “I am.”
Jake slung his arm around my shoulder. “You’re funny when you’ve been drinking. I bet we can find something else to drink around here.”
Still laughing, I supported him as much as he supported me while we walked to the kitchen.
Finn stayed at the elevator, talking in low tones to Dustin.
“He should go home,” I said to Jake, nudging him with my elbow. “Tell Dustin to go home—he doesn’t want to stay here all night. What does he do—stand by the elevator and just…wait?”
“Shh,” Jake said, snagging my hand and pulling me into the kitchen with a spin. “He’s doing his job, so let him.”
I frowned, making him grin. When I swayed trying to reach a high cupboard, Jake pointed to a spot by the counter.
“Stand there. Stay there.”
“Right here?” I pointed.
“Right there. Don’t move or you’re going to fall down.”
I grinned. “Yes, sir. But, uh…”
He pulled down two glasses. “What?”
“I lost my train of thought.”
He nodded. “Happens.”
“No, wait. I got it. If I…have work tomorrow.”
Jake flashed me a smile over his shoulder. “I’m with you so far.”
“Yep. And I have to stand right here so I don’t fall down. And I can’t even remember what I was going to say, maybe I shouldn’t be having more to drink.”
“You could skip work tomorrow. Play hooky. Lounge all day in your pajamas and watch bad television.”
“You could try to sound a little less like your brother. How do you think I’m going to have any kind of credibility around here if I never show up to work?”
“You have credibility,” Finn said, walking around the corner. He held out a hand for me. “Come here.”
“I can’t. Jake said I have to stand right here.”
“Why right there?”
Jake smiled. “Because she’s drunk and I didn’t want her to fall down. Then you’d really be mad at me.”
I faced Finn. “You’re mad at Jake?”
Finn rubbed a hand over his eyes with a sigh. He sounded far soberer than either of us. “No.”
“Yes, he is. He’s mad because I told him not to go up to your tequila party—that is what you were drinking, right? I remember you always went for tequila.”
“I’m thinking that’s a bad thing if that’s one of my defining characteristics,” I said.
“And he’s mad at me for saying he should have told you about Tracy—”
“Fuck.” Finn glared at Jake. “Can you shut up already?”
This only seemed to amuse Jake more. He held up a bottle of wine. “You sure you don’t want a glass? I call you in sick to work tomorrow.” He smirked. “I’m sure your boss won’t mind.”
I snickered, but Finn’s expression made the humor vanish. He looked tired, worn out. Upset.
“Can we talk?” he asked.
I started to say yes. We needed to be on the same page. But I was still buzzed and I was still upset from earlier. I needed a clear head to talk to Finn. Right now, I was far from it.
“I’m kind of tired right now.”
“No problem. Go get comfortable.” He gestured down the hall in the direction of his room. I followed his gaze and he saw my hesitation. “Or…you can use another room if you’d like.”
Jake’s lips pursed in a low whistle. “Yeah…I’ll just give you two lovebirds a minute.”
He walked away with the bottle of wine, still whistling as he vanished in the opposite direction, probably to one of the spare rooms.
“Do you want me to get you set up somewhere else?” Finn asked, keeping his distance.
“No,” I said honestly. “I want to be close to you. I don’t—I’m not ready to talk right now. But I’ll sleep in your room if that’s all right.”
He nodded, brushing his hand down my arm. “Of course. I’d prefer it that way.”
I smiled at him. “I’m kind of hungry.”
“That sounds like a better idea than the wine. Go relax. I’ll bring something in.”
Grateful for the moment alone, I wandered down the hall, the lights dim. I still wore my work clothes but I’d ditched my heels back at the door and my feet were quiet on the hard floor. I padded to the bed, frowning when something touched my foot. It was soft, just a quick brush against my heel.
With a sigh, I collapsed on the bed, too tired to care what I’d stepped on.
But when I turned my head on the pillow and the same soft thing brushed my cheek, I gasped and then sat up. Tentatively, I reached out, searching for the object on my pillow.
It was smooth and waxy between my fingertips. The scent of roses wafted up to me. I gave a nervous smile.
“Finn?”
Maybe he’d put the flowers there. But roses?
I snapped on the lamp by the bed. My breath caught. There were rose petals everywhere. On the bed, on the floor by the bed. Not red this time, but yellow. A cheerful color that stood out on the dark comforter.
“Finn,” I whispered, so quiet I knew he couldn’t hear me. I stood up, taking in the scene before me.
Then I saw the note, just a thin slip of paper at the top of the pillow.
My hand shook as I reached out.
“Charlotte?” Finn called. I heard his footsteps coming down the hallway.
Part of me wanted to scream for him and the other part to rationalize this. Somehow.
I opened the paper and read the words.
I wish you would have stayed at home tonight. I don’t like you being there. But I hope you like the roses anyway, yellow because I know you don’t like red. Sorry about the drama—I wanted to deliver them to your office but I wasn’t sure if they’d get to you. Let’s get together soon.
“Char—” Finn stopped in the doorway, eyes taking in the spread of petals on the bed and me standing by the end table, the note in my hand. “What the fuck?”
“I think John was in here.”