We ate lunch on the pier, carrying hot dogs as we walked in the sunshine. I was so grateful to be out of Oasis and with Finn, I didn’t want to bring up Mark or John or the cameras. I didn’t want to bring up our break-up either. I knew how fast that would ruin the mood.
“Another one?” Finn asked as we neared a hot dog vendor. “Or a pretzel?”
I laughed and put my hand on my stomach. “I’m so full.”
“After one hot dog? You used to be able to eat more than that.”
A cool breeze blew, and I lifted my hair off my neck. “Is that an insult?”
“Not at all. Ice cream, then.”
My stomach twisted, and I shook my head. “Not yet. I’m just…” I flashed a smile at him and stopped at a bench. “Later.”
“Your stomach’s upset?”
“It’s nerves.” I gave him another smile. “No big deal.”
“I’d appreciate if you didn’t brush it off. And I’m trying to feed you because I know you haven’t been eating much lately. You didn’t even touch your dinner at the gala.” He paused, tempered the snap in his tone, and rested his hands on the rail to stare out over the water. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”
Pulling off my jacket, I let the sun heat my bare arms and leaned on the rail, mirroring Finn’s pose. Trying to let my heart still after hearing his words. Cautiously, I reached out to touch his arm. “I’m sorry. Yes, my stomach’s upset. I can’t—it’s hard to eat anything. I keep thinking about Mark and his calls, wondering when he’s going to show up.”
Someone bumped me from behind and I gasped, whipping around only to find a kid racing by on a skateboard. “Sorry!” he called behind him as he zoomed away.
Clutching my hand at my chest, I scanned the pier, searching for Dustin. I used to hate that I had to have someone follow me around. Now I felt security with his presence. I wished he wasn’t so good at blending in.
“He’s back there,” Finn said, gesturing to the hot dog vendor we just passed.
Shielding my eyes, I watched Dustin give a nod before turning my attention back to Finn. “What now?”
He straightened, meeting my eyes. Standing so close it was hard to keep my hands to myself. “What do you want to do?”
How was I supposed to answer that? I wanted to throw myself in in his arms and kiss him and forget all about this mess for a while. I wanted things to be how they used to be and I wanted them to be how they’d become but without all the drama. But he was standing a few feet away from me and we felt miles apart.
“I want to be with you,” I said honestly. “I know we have work and—”
“Work can be put on hold today.”
I searched his eyes, trying to find something that said he felt the same way he used to. I knew he still loved me but that didn’t mean there wasn’t a gap between us. And it was a gap I wasn’t sure how to breach.
Leaning up on my toes, I pressed a kiss to the underside of his jaw. “Yes. Work can be put on hold today.”
His fingers wrapped around mine and he pulled me away from the rail. “Good. Let’s go.”
Finn worked fast. He called Curtis, talked with Dustin, got us a car, and we were on our way—though he wouldn’t tell me where. When the thrum of the tires on the highway lulled me into sleep, Finn only curled his arm around my shoulder and murmured, “Sleep now.”
So I did.
In my dream, Mark was banging on the bathroom door, trying to break it down. I knew better than to lock myself in there—that it would only make him angrier. But he had that red tie in his hands, coming after me with the gleam in his eye that said he wasn’t going to hold back.
The door burst open, and I jerked from sleep.
My breath caught in my throat, locked in a silent scream of terror. I was pressed against the door on my side of the car, the handle digging into my ribs.
“Charlotte.” Finn’s door was open and he was climbing back inside. “We just stopped—you’re okay. It was only a dream.”
He held out his hands as if showing me there was nothing to fear. But panic still clawed at my chest as dregs of the dream flashed back to me wave after painful wave.
Finn tried again, sliding along the seat so he could reach out to me. “A dream,” he said softly.
I nodded, a jerking motion that made me feel out of control. “A dream. A dream,” I repeated.
“That’s right. A dream. See?” He gestured to the window, and I stared out at the trees. We were in a parking lot. Maybe a mall? “We just stopped. I thought we could pick up a few things.”
“Okay.” I pushed my hair off my forehead. It was damp with sweat. Embarrassment washed over me. “Oh, Finn—”
“Don’t,” he said, already reading my body language.
He wasn’t prepared for how fast I launched myself into his arms. His body rocked back against the seat as one of his arms circled my back to catch me close. The other hand reached to shut the door, trapping us inside. Dustin was nowhere to be seen and we had the car to ourselves.
I stopped myself again from apologizing and instead pressed my lips to Finn’s, chasing away the rest of the dream with his closeness. His scent. His strength.
My skirt hiked up my legs as I straddled him. “I didn’t mean it,” I said between kisses.
“What?”
“The break-up.” Breathless, I ran my hands through his hair. “I didn’t mean it.”
Finn caught my hands, holding both in of one of his. He gripped my chin with his free hand. “Hold on.”
I stopped immediately, his name on my lips. “What?”
“You didn’t mean it.”
I lowered my eyes. “No, I didn’t. I didn’t know what else to do. I—I’m not proud of what I did.”
“But you thought it was best at the time.”
“Yes.”
“Hey. Look at me.”
I raised my eyes to his, captured in compassion and understanding.
“I understand, Charlotte. I’m not trying to hold this against you.”
I released a breath. “It feels like you’ve been distant today.”
He let go of my chin and dropped his hand to my thigh. “I’m processing. I’m trying to go about this the right way. I don’t want you pulling away from me again.”
“I won’t.”
“There are things here beyond your control.”
Finn glanced to the window. Dustin was returning to the car, his eyes vigilant. He talked on the phone, probably with Curtis. Part of me wanted to know what was going on behind the scenes and part of me didn’t.
“Let’s talk about this later,” he suggested.
“I want to be in this together,” I said. “If you’re still willing.”
Finn gripped my chin, kissing me hard. “I never stopped being in this with you.”
Dustin reached the car. I got off of Finn’s lap, opening the door to step out into the warm air and straighten my skirt.
“Where are we?” I asked Finn.
Dustin paced at the front of the car, nodding to whatever was being said on the other end of his phone.
“Just a quick stop.” Finn took my hand. “Like I said, we need to pick up a few things.”
“Like what?”
His gaze traveled over my body, eyeing my outfit with a grin. “A swimsuit.”
“Why? Where are we going?”
Dustin ended his call and turned to us. “Your room is reserved, ready for when we arrive.”
“Good.” Finn clasped my hand in his. “And the rest?”
“Curtis will call later. He’s got more information.”
My gaze whipped to Finn’s. “What information?”
“We’ll talk about it. I promise. Let’s get to the hotel.”
“What hotel?” I tugged on his hand when he tried to pull me away from the car. “Finn.”
“We’re getting away for tonight,” he said. “Staying somewhere away from Oasis. We’ll have time to talk. I promise. There are things that need to be said.”
I glanced at Dustin, who had discreetly turned to face the parking lot and pretended not to hear our conversation.
“Trust me,” Finn said.
I met his eyes. “Okay. I trust you.”
Dustin had brought us to a hotel along the beach, a nice little resort that would have worked great for a weekend getaway. Knowing we had to get back to Oasis tomorrow dampened my mood a little, but only until we dawned our swimsuits and walked along the beach hand in hand.
After a short swim, we returned the hotel. Finn urged me to shower and dress for dinner while he made a few phone calls.
Our suite was nearly as big as my apartment, with two bedrooms, a large balcony, and a kitchen. Bags of purchases lay on the bed, mostly clothes since we’d left so hastily we hadn’t packed anything. Finn hadn’t even blinked at the price, though he’d encouraged me to pick a swimsuit, a dress for the evening, and a dozen other pieces I didn’t need.
“You’ll wear them, right?” he’d said with a grin. “Might as well get them.”
I’d also purchased a pair of lacy underwear and a matching bra. A dusty purple that reminded me of sunset. I’d drawn the line at heels, and had instead grabbed a pair of simple sandals that would fit into my wardrobe just fine.
Finn’s voice rose from the other room, and I walked to the door, wearing only the robe the hotel had provided.
“What kind of pictures?” Finn asked, voice heated.
I eased the door open further, trying to catch a peek of him. Finn paced in front the balcony door, hair ruffled like he’d jerked his hand through it more than once.
“How long?” Finn waited for a response from the person on the other end of the phone and then cursed. “That’s bullshit.” He sighed, propping his hand on his hip. “I know. I will. It—”
He broke off when he saw me standing at the bedroom door. “I’m going to have to call you back,” Finn snapped, ending the call. He smiled at me, almost able to mask the strain at the corners of his mouth. “I thought you were in the shower.”
“Who was on the phone?”
“It’s not—” He cursed again and ran his hand through his hair. “Charlotte.”
I ventured farther into the room. “What were you going to say?”
His jaw clenched. “We can talk about it later.”
“Finn. What were you going to say?” The familiar flicker of frustration appeared. I’d decided to be open with Finn; I wanted him to be open with me, too.
“I was going to say it’s not important, okay? Damn it, Charlotte, I just got you back.” He strode forward, reaching me in four long steps. He gripped my arms, thumbs rubbing my shoulders through the robe. “I don’t want you to have to deal with this.”
I shook my head with a short laugh. “Why do you think I broke up with you?” When his eyes flashed in memory, I injected calm into my voice. “I did it because I don’t want you to have to deal with this. Don’t you get that, Finn? I dragged you into this mess by coming to Oasis and thinking I might have a chance to start over. I thought I could have friends and a relationship with you—”
“Don’t say it.”
I blinked. “What?”
“Don’t you dare tell me this is over again,” he growled.
“Finn, I—that’s not what I was going to say. Don’t be mad at me.”
His eyes met mine, hurt in their depths. His hands fell away from my arms. “I’m not mad at you. I’m mad at this whole fucking situation.”
“Which is why I didn’t want you to have to be involved. I thought…” My voice trailed off when his lips twisted in a harsh smile. “What?”
“Now I’m mad at you.”
“What? Finn—”
“You’re trying to give me an out. No, worse than that. You’re deciding for me what I can handle. What I want to handle.”
“No, that’s not—”
“That’s exactly what you’re doing. You did it last week when you broke up with me and you’re doing it now. It’s bullshit, and I’m sick of hearing it.”
My mouth dropped open. “What the hell do you call what you just did with the phone call?” I reached for the phone he set on the table behind the couch. “Who were you talking to?”
“Charlotte.” He snatched the phone before I could grab it. “What are you—hey!”
I snagged his arm, trying to get the phone, almost irrational with my need to see who he was talking to. To prove my point. “You think I’m deciding for you what you can handle?”
“Absolutely.”
“Then you’re a hypocrite!”
I lunged for the phone again, my foot sliding on the striped rug. Before I pitched to the ground, Finn caught me, arms tight around my waist.
Shoving at his shoulders, I huffed, “Let go of me.”
“No.”
“Finn—”
“You’re going to hurt yourself,” he said, voice lowering. I was in his grasp at an awkward angle that wouldn’t allow me to get my feet steady underneath me. His eyes dipped to my lips. “Don’t struggle.”
“I’m warning you,” I whispered.
The amusement that flashed in his eyes flamed my anger.
“Finn. You don’t know what I’m like angry, and you’re about to find out.”
“This isn’t you angry? Now I’m intrigued.”
“Don’t you dare try to fucking distract me, Finn.”
A startled laugh slipped from his lips. “Charlotte.”
Fighting for calm, I relaxed my muscles some and closed my eyes briefly. “You’re always calling someone, talking to Curtis or someone else on the phone, and then hiding it from me.”
“Not hiding it. Protecting you.”
“You don’t think I can’t understand wanting to protect someone? Why do you think I didn’t tell my family what was going on? Why do you think I didn’t let myself make any friends? Paige is the first one in…months. Years, maybe. And you…Finn…” My voice cracked with emotion. “I know you’re mad at me for breaking up with you, but I did it to protect you. You said you understood, but—”
“No, I do.” He hauled me up, wrapping me close so I could smell the sun on him. Feel the stubble he hadn’t shaved yet. Taste his lips if I wanted. “I understand.”
“Can you just—let go for a minute?”
His arms only tightened. “No. I can’t. I can’t let go of you again. It was too hard the last time.”
His words broke my heart. I touched his cheek. “I’m not going anywhere.”
“I don’t care,” he growled, arms tightening. “This isn’t a game to me. It’s—”
“What? You think this is a game to me?” I wriggled against him, angry all over again.
He caught my chin in his grasp, careful to be gentle. “Hold on. It seems like we’re determined to piss each other off right now.”
“There’s a lot that needs to be said.”
“I think that’s part of it, yes.”
My heart hammering against his, I narrowed my eyes. “What’s the other part?”
He scooped me up into his arms. “I’ll have to show you.”
His phone clattered to the floor.
“Finn—”
“Leave it.”
He strode purposefully to the bedroom and my heart pounded even harder.
“Now you really are trying to distract me,” I murmured.
“If this doesn’t do it, I don’t know what will.”
My breath whooshed out when he lowered me to the bed without warning, pinning my arms above my head.
My eyes widened. “Finn?”
He bracketed my wrists with one hand and used the other to trail his fingers down my cheek. “Yes?”
With the heat of his body against mine, the evidence of his arousal pressing into my thigh, it was hard to think. But I only needed three words.
“I love you.”
He froze, eyes locked on mine. The hand that held my wrists loosened.
“What?” I whispered. “Did I say something wrong?”
He straightened. “No. You said something right.”
His smile made me melt further onto the bed. “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“That’s the first time you’ve said it like that. I mean, since you came back to Oasis. You couldn’t say it before when I said it to you.”
“I mean it, Finn. I would hate it if I didn’t get the chance to tell you. And I was holding back because—because—”
“You were scared,” he finished for me. I nodded. “Don’t be scared anymore. I’m here now.”
My heart singing with love for him, I slid my hand down my neck and to the vee of my robe. I parted it with my fingers, loving the way Finn’s eyes followed my every movement. “Well, now that you have me here, what are you going to do with me?”
He grinned. “Make up for lost time.”