“Is this your version of torture?” Finn asked.
Dustin had driven us home early this morning, and we were back at Oasis in Finn’s apartment getting ready for work. Much to Finn’s disappointment.
I poured him a cup of coffee and passed it across the counter. “Didn’t get enough sleep last night?”
“No.” His deep voice still held a hint of sleep in it after resting in the car. “Someone’s insatiable appetite kept me up way too late.”
“And then that someone insisted you get up early to go to work,” I said with a cheerful smile. “Welcome to the real world, Mr. Moore. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices.” I walked around the counter to rest my hand on his shoulder. “Besides, last night didn’t feel like torture to me.”
He hooked me around my waist, pulling me to stand in between his thighs. “No, it wasn’t torture. Being here when I want to be with you, somewhere else, is torture. Watching you get dressed and not being able to touch you was torture.”
“It’s only because we don’t have a lot of time, Finn. I—”
He put his hand over my mouth with a grin. “I know. At least you’re here, in my apartment.”
“With your housekeeper in the other room,” I said around his hand.
He shrugged like he was used to it. Tammy had welcomed us back this morning, looking unsurprised to see me walking into Finn’s apartment, and had promptly started cleaning the bedroom.
“It’s not enough,” Finn said. “I want more time with you, Charlotte. I want to go to bed and wake up with you in my arms and not have to share you with the rest of the world for an entire day. No, make that an entire weekend. I don’t want to have to wake up and watch you get ready for work. I want to drive you crazy all night and then watch you sleep in the morning. Have breakfast with you. I want more.”
I could feel my eyes widen as he spoke. Shock crept in, even as his words touched my heart. I pulled his hand away from my mouth, clasping it in mine and staring at his strong fingers because I couldn’t meet his gaze.
“Finn, we’re…we’re taking steps. This is good, right? And we’ll have more time soon. I’ve just been…”
Finn gripped my chin. “I know. But you said last night you want to live your life. I agree. I waited a long time for you to be back in my life and now I feel like it’s not enough.”
Glancing at the clock, I said, “We need to be into work soon.”
“In a minute,” Finn said, trapping me against the counter. He stood and put a hand on either side of me. “Move in here with me.”
I gave a nervous laugh. “I’m already here a lot anyway, Finn.”
“And now you’ll be here more. It’s better if you don’t go back to your apartment anyway.”
“I know. I was thinking of another one. A different floor, maybe, or—”
“Or you could move in here.”
Setting my hands calmly on his chest, I said, “Finn, we need to go. This is the first step in living my life—having some sort of routine. Feeling like I can go to work somewhere safe—”
“And come home somewhere safe, too,” Finn argued.
“That’s another step, I think. And one we can talk about. But right now, there’s work.”
He held my gaze for another long moment. Finally, he stepped back. “Torture,” he murmured, making me smile. The tension drained from my shoulders.
“One other thing,” Finn said, catching my hand as I turned to the counter.
“What?”
“Jake mentioned you talked about the cabin—maybe getting away.”
Sipping my coffee, I nodded. “We did. That sounds nice.”
“How about this weekend? Or a long weekend? We could leave Thursday and—”
“Finn, we just got away.”
“It’ll give us time to talk, like you said.”
I set my mug down calmly and grabbed my purse. “We don’t have to go to the cabin to talk.”
“It might be good. To get away from here until…” Finn sighed. “Charlotte, look at me, please.”
Turning, I folded my arms.
“Powell thinks it’d be a good idea.”
“Oh.” Curtis. Of course. This wasn’t about getting away for time together. It was about staying safe, somewhere away from Oasis.
Pulling the strap of my purse over my shoulder, I headed to the elevator. “Do you want to walk down together or are you going to stay up here a little longer?”
“Charlotte, wait.”
I smiled at him and pressed the button. “No time.”
The doors opened and I stepped inside.
“Wait,” Finn called, hands brushing his pockets as he searched for something. Probably his phone. “Charlotte—”
He slapped his hand on the door before it could close. I flashed him a smile, unwilling to let our conversation ruin the day.
Finn stepped into the elevator and adjusted his jacket, buttoning up the front as the doors closed. “What the hell?” he growled, still facing straight ahead, but glancing at me with a frown.
“Work,” I said simply. “I have a list of people I need to contact to fill up the rest of the spaces for lease. The manager over in Housing wants—”
“Charlotte.” His voice came out in a snap. When I lifted my eyebrows, he sighed. “This isn’t how I wanted this morning to go.”
I took his hand, giving it a squeeze as we reached the lobby. “The real world,” I said again with a smile.
When I tried to pull my hand away, he wouldn’t let go. He guided me out of the elevator and to the doors of the Commons.
“This part isn’t negotiable,” he said.
“What part?”
I glanced over, surprised when I spotted Dustin. He nodded a greeting and fell into step behind us, keeping enough distance we still had our privacy.
“Security?” I asked.
Finn smiled at me. “That, too. Obviously. But no—I meant this part.” He lifted our joined hands and kissed my knuckles. “If you’re with me, you’re with me. No hiding from the cameras, no hands-off looks, okay? I’ll hold your hand, I’ll touch you—no, don’t make that face. I said it was hard for me to keep my hands to myself and I meant it. I don’t want space and I don’t want to pretend there’s nothing between us when there is.”
I glanced back at Dustin. His eyes were carefully averted, scanning the paths as we walked toward the Business Community.
“He already knows,” Finn said. “So does Powell. He’ll be by later to talk to both of us.”
“You could have told me you were going to tell the whole world about us.”
He laughed, opening the door for me when we reached the Business sector. “Not the whole world. Not yet, anyway. But Powell needed the facts. You’re with me and I want to make sure you’re safe. He’s on board with that.”
“Wait—”
“Work,” Finn interrupted with his own smile, pulling me into the elevator.
My heels clicked on the floor as I hurried in after him. The doors shut, locking us in. Alone. Finn swiveled to face me, catching my face in his hands. “One last thing.”
His lips were on mine in an instant, tongue plunging into my mouth as his hand twisted in my hair. My pulse leaped and my shoulder blades hit the wall of the elevator. I fumbled to clasp my hands around his neck, to draw him closer, but he pulled back just as abruptly.
Leaving me panting.
“How’s that for the real world?” Finn asked with a grin.
He plucked my purse from the floor where I’d dropped it and passed it over. My fingers closed around it, shaking from the sudden adrenaline rush.
“Tell me you’ll think about what I said this morning,” Finn said.
Still out of breath, I nodded. At this point, I’d probably agree to anything he said. “I will. I’ll think about it.”
“Good.”
He took my hand in his again and led us out of the elevator. “Back to work.”
Finn wouldn’t let me forget our conversation. An hour into work, he texted me. I’ll let you have your own closet.
With a roll of my eyes, I set the phone aside only to hear it chime again. This time he wrote, No, wait. One closet for shoes and another closet for the rest.
This got a chuckle out of me. But I turned my phone on silent and went back to work.
It felt good to have a new purpose. I belonged here at Oasis and no one was going to take that away from me. I had friends now. Leslie and Paige and even Tucker. No one was going to take that away from me either.
And as far as an apartment…I wanted my own place, I realized. Because I hadn’t been able to enjoy my own space without feeling scared in it since I’d left Mark. But I also enjoyed being with Finn and I understood where he was coming from. Even if it was faster than I’d expected.
But I guessed there was more to it than him just wanting to be close to me. He wanted to make sure I was safe and taken care of, too. And that alone wasn’t a good reason for us to move in together.
After working for another hour, Leslie arrived in my doorway with a cup of coffee and a slip of paper. She passed me the coffee first.
“Finn asked if I’d pick this up for you from downstairs. He said you liked the chai kind.”
I pressed my fingers to my temples with a reluctant smile. “Yes, I do. Thank you. I wish he wouldn’t have asked you to do that.”
“Don’t thank me. Mr. Moore is the best boss ever. He just gave me an engagement present.”
“Really? That was nice of him.” I grinned, curious. “Can I ask what he got you?”
Leslie ventured farther into the room, her eyes lighting. “It was more like…an engagement bonus.”
“Really,” I said again.
She nodded, setting her hands on the back of the chair opposite me. “A really, really generous bonus.”
That sounded like Finn. And it was nice he cared enough to do something. “You deserve it.”
“That’s what he said. It’s really going to help with the honeymoon. I want to go to Venice.”
“I’d die to go to Venice,” I told her. “My aunt went when I was a kid and she made it sound so magical. I’ve wanted to go ever since.”
“I’ll find all the best places and tell you about them so you can plan your own trip one day.”
I let my mind be dazzled by that possibility for a short moment. Venice. With Finn. He’d make it an adventure. Maybe he’d already been and he could show me around.
Maybe living together wasn’t such a bad idea since we spent all our time together anyway.
I changed my train of thought, refocusing on Leslie. “I’d really like to take you out for drinks or something next week. To celebrate. We could do a girls’ night.”
Leslie smiled. “That would be great. My family can’t come until next month, and I’ve been showing off my ring and everything but I haven’t really had anyone to party with.”
“Well, we’d better party. Then your engagement will really be official.”
“Alcohol pretty much makes everything official,” she said with a laugh and then glanced at the note in her hand. “Sorry, Mr. Moore wanted you to have this, too.”
I accepted the paper and glanced at his brief message. We can move your things tonight. If you aren’t convinced by the end of the day, I’ll send Jake to change your mind.
Sighing, I set the note aside.
“Everything okay?” Leslie asked.
“It’s…Finn. This is probably inappropriate to talk about at work, but I need someone else to talk to besides him. He wants me to move in.”
She lifted her eyebrows.
“I know. I’m sorry. He’s your boss. He’s practically my boss. It’s—”
“No.” She waved off my apology. “I don’t care. Mr. Moore’s a good boss, and you do your job, so it’s not like I’m going to complain about unfair treatment. Besides, engagement bonus, remember?”
“Still…” She sat in the chair across from me and waited, so I continued. “He wants me to move in and I’m not sure. It’s fast, right? Too fast.”
“I moved in with Greg after six months, but that’s only because he’s kind of old-fashioned and we were both so busy with work, it didn’t seem like that long anyway. I would’ve moved in faster if he’d been open to it. I already knew he was the one. So, there are other factors to consider. Besides, you guys have history, right?”
“Right.” I sipped my chai, thoughtful. “We practically lived together already in college. He had an apartment off campus and I was there every day.”
“So, what’s the problem?” Leslie asked.
I bit my lip. What was the problem? “I guess…I’m not the same person I used to be. I’m more cautious.”
“You’re worried it’s not going to work out?”
I lifted my shoulders in a shrug. There was only so much I could tell her, and that was going to have to change, too.
Leslie held up a finger and listened. Then she rolled her eyes when we heard ringing. “Those phones.” She stood. “You think on that and come up with an answer.”
I laughed. “Okay.”
“And we’ll talk—and party—next week. I’m still riding my engagement high—so be forewarned, I’m trying to get everyone else married, too.”
She walked off, leaving me shocked in my seat. Marriage. That was a word I wouldn’t let myself think. Or hadn’t since Mark. We’d been engaged and for a while it had been great. Just like Leslie, I’d been walking on air, living that engagement high. Looking at dresses, thinking about the honeymoon, making plans. Plans that hadn’t included my family, but plans nonetheless.
I was happy. Or, at least, my version of happy at the time. More like, I was settled. I had a plan. I had a future. I wasn’t scared that Mark would leave me or tell me he’d changed his mind. I wasn’t worried he’d hurt me like Finn had.
Instead, he hurt me in a different way. A whole lot worse.
Maybe that’s why I was scared now. Another commitment meant trust I was still afraid to give. Not because I thought Finn would intentionally hurt me again but that it would happen somehow. Or that I’d be too afraid for anything more serious down the road, so I’d hurt him.
I forced myself to get back to work and didn’t resurface again until lunchtime. I was already standing, ready to head to Finn’s office, when I saw an email come in.
Smiling, I prepared myself for another note from Finn. I even started reading the first several words with that same goofy smile on my face. Until they started to sink in. Until I realized I didn’t recognize the sender.
The wording sounded nothing like Finn either. Nothing at all.
John. It had to be. Especially because of what was written.
I reread the words, rubbing my arms as chills raced over them.
I didn’t mean to scare you. I only wanted you to know how I felt, and then everyone got in the way. I’m not like your ex, I promise you. Once I found out what he’d done, I decided not to help him anymore. But he threatened to expose me and I couldn’t let that happen. Please know I’d never hurt you. I only want what’s best for you and maybe someday I’m the one who will make you happy.
“Charlotte?”
I yanked my hand from the computer mouse like it’d shocked me and stumbled back so fast, I bumped into my chair. “Jake,” I breathed. “Oh my God, I didn’t hear you.”
He frowned, looking just like Finn when he did it. “Clearly. What’s wrong?”
I fumbled a smile and glanced away. “Nothing. Just surprised.”
“No, before that. Before I came in here and scared the shit out of you. You were as white as a ghost.” He jerked his chin to my computer. “Something happened.”
“You’re…” I gave a choked laugh. “You’re too observant for your own good.”
His nod was thoughtful. “And yet no one wants to tell me what’s going on.”
“Finn—”
“Won’t give me details. It’s the right thing to do, on his end. He doesn’t want to tell your secrets—not unless you want them told.”
I pressed a hand against my chest, trying to calm my racing heart. Trying to suppress the panic that wanted to claw its way up my throat.
Jake came around the desk, immediately wrapping his arms around me. “Don’t give me that look.”
“What look?” I managed.
“Like you’re going to cry. You don’t have to tell me anything—I’m just worried for you. And I know Finn is, too.”
I nodded. I wasn’t going to cry. Not this time.
“I want to tell you, Jake.” I eased back, putting a little space between us. I could control the tears better when he wasn’t trying to take care of me just like Finn always did. “I said I wasn’t going to run from this anymore, and I’m not.”
He gave me a curious look, but only nodded and returned to the other side of the desk.
I pressed Print on the email screen and then said, “Let’s go find Finn.”