Chapter 19

Logan

When those words leave her gorgeous, full lips, my jaw falls open and I see the trust she has for me in her eyes. Fuck that asshole who had her before. He didn’t cherish her enough and show her how damn sexy she is, so I’ll gladly do that for her. She’s so unsure of herself, and I have to remember this is new to her. By the end of tonight, she’ll know how perfect she is and how crazy she makes me.

Lowering myself, I keep my eyes trained on her, and touch my lips to her naked body. I hold her gaze when I sink down to my knees and press my tongue against her swollen clit. It makes me crazy tasting her sweetness. I can’t get enough of her. I want more. I want it all with her.

“Logan!”

Her screaming out my name is nearly my undoing. My cock throbs in my jeans as she gets louder. When her fingers grip my hair, pushing my face against her pussy, I pick up the pace and suck her harder.

“Please don’t stop,” she desperately moans.

Hannah has no idea what she has over me. It’s been a few weeks since we’ve met and I already crave her like a fucking drug. Her taste, her screams, her body… fuck. She’s mine tonight.

When she shudders and cries out one last time, I reach for the condom in my pocket and slowly stand up. I spring my cock free, and the look on her face has me smiling.

“How’s that going to fit?” She covers her face and instantly closes her legs.

“Don’t worry.” I rip the condom package. My hard cock is sensitive as I grip it. I suck in a hiss, roll the condom over it, and slowly stroke the length.

Watching her reaction, her eyes wide and her pouty lips making an O shape when she sees my dick, turns me into a caveman. I have to have her. Slowly I hover over her body, and take my time entering her.

“Just breathe,” I whisper before placing the tip of my cock between her wet folds. “You with me?”

She eagerly nods and I spread her legs wider. She’s so snug, and if I’m not careful I’m going to blow my load into her—and we can’t have that yet. I need to hear her scream again. I need to feel her tighten around me.

That touch, the first touch, unleashes the heat between us, and I erupt with hunger. She feels so good. The deeper I slide into her, the more she claws my bare back, wrapping her legs around my waist, telling me she wants more.

When she adjusts to my size, we find our rhythm and I bury myself inside her. Her warmth. Her moans. It’s driving me crazy. I’m watching her tip her head back and her eyes fluttering closed. Her hands roam down to my ass and I thrust harder. She melts into me, and I want to be sure this is good for her like it is for me.

“Does it hurt?” I ask, come to a slow stop, and wait for her to answer me.

“No,” she murmurs and moves her head to the side. “Don't stop. Please, don't stop.”

Instead of fucking her, like I thought I’d be doing, something changes in the air between us and my pace is slower and more fluid. All of this pleasure is calling to me. I’ve never felt this before.

“What are you doing to me?” I whisper, kissing her neck, rubbing my lips across her soft skin.

“Exactly what you’re doing to me.”

When she moans again, my heart slams against my chest, and holy fuck, the pleasure’s too much.

“Logan, go faster and harder. It’s okay. I can handle it.”

“Are you sure?”

“Please. I need you.”

That’s all it takes for me to pull out and flip her onto her stomach. I yank her ass up against my cock and fill her again. She’s face down on her bed, groaning my name as my cock fills her sweet pussy.

“Harder, Logan,” she pleads for more.

I squeeze her hips as I give her what she’s screaming for.

“You like it when I fuck you like this?”

“Mmm, yes.”

“Hannah, you’re so fucking tight. It feels so damn good.” She needs to know how perfect she is and how I’m feeling.

I lean over her back, pressing my lips to her neck, absorbing the tremors of her body into mine. Her muscles convulse around me, and I know she’s close. With three more hard thrusts, we both find our release, and I close my eyes, losing myself in this moment.

I pull out slowly and bring her body flush against mine. I know I should leave and never think about her again, but there’s something pulling me to her.

“I’ll be back,” I whisper against her ear. I crawl from the bed, find her bathroom, and discard the condom.

When I return to her bedroom, she’s under the covers and lying on her side. Instead of putting on my clothes and getting the hell out, I climb into bed with her, tuck her close to my chest, and wrap myself around her.

By the time I wake up, the time is almost five. Hannah is still in my arms, lightly snoring. She looks so fucking peaceful and I hate doing this to her.

I slowly creep from the bed, slip on my clothes, and I mistakenly look over at her. I watch the rise and fall of her chest and stare for a few moments. The pouty lips I was kissing just a few hours ago are slightly curved. She's lying on her side, one hand tucked underneath the pillow while the other is peacefully resting on the bed. After tonight, after being with her, I know I'll want more moments like these. Only, going down this road with her will only leave her broken and hurt. I'd rather leave now than face the hurt that'll come.

When I turn back and look for a pen and paper, I find them on her vanity and sit down to leave her a note. I may be an asshole, but something about Hannah is different.

I wish I could stay and wake up with you. I wish I could be the man you need. Please don’t hate me.

-Logan

Satisfied with the note, I sneak out of her room and apartment and stand outside her door, instantly regretting my decision to leave. It’s the best thing. She’s so fucking pure and amazing, but I have too much darkness. There’s nothing good about me.

This is the best thing I can do for her.

I hustle to my car and get in. It would be easy to run to get breakfast for both of us, go back, and then tell her I made a mistake if she started suspecting I originally left and didn’t intend to return. Everything seems easy, but in reality, that shit doesn’t fly. Staying the night with her and waking up next to her would be a mistake. I’m not worthy of that—of anything. I had her and I’ll take what I can get.

I throw my car in drive and haul ass out of there. I don’t look back because I know that if I do, I’ll run back to her and feel that warmth I’ve been missing.

When I’m in my bed, I take out my phone and scroll to Hannah’s name. The gravitational pull to her is stronger than anything I’ve experienced. I’ll see her in the office in a few hours, and I have to do everything I can to stay away. My eyes close and I clear my throat, pushing away memories of Hannah and what we shared.

For the first time I opened myself to her and allowed myself to feel an ounce of happiness. I was numb and cold. Life merely existed. Then Hannah comes into my life and I push myself away before I get too attached. This is how my life has to be. It's what's best for everyone. And now there’s Hannah. A woman I hardly know, but can’t stop thinking about and can’t stop falling in love with. Everyone says “life moves on” and “one day you’ll open your heart again.” I wish I could, for me. I wish I can stop thinking about Shannon and move on without feeling guilty. To be free of the pain and guilt. But that's an illusion I have to let go.

Sleep eludes me and I wake up in a pissed off mood. I head to the gym and work out my frustrations before getting ready to go into the office. The sweat pours off my body and the adrenalin builds.

Last night with Hannah was incredible. Her scent lingers around me and I miss her. I want her. But what good would I be to her? I’d end up disappointing her and fucking up her life.

No.

This is how it’s going to be. I’ll never be able to open myself up to her. We’ll be friends, I hope, and I’ll admire her from afar. Being with her last night stamps my decision to stay away. She’s too good. Too pure for my fucking baggage. I’m going to cherish that night with her and jerk off, remembering her body and moans.