CHAPTER 10
Gentry
L ast night, she shouldn’t have seen me so emotional. So raw. But I couldn’t help it. Seeing her tattoo gutted me. It showed me that she, in fact, hadn’t forgotten. I knew she never would, but that handprint was so realistic. So well done that my emotions got the better of me.
Ainsleigh gutted me even more when I got out of the shower and she was laying in the bed waiting for me. Like she always should’ve been. Her return was for the best, but it was fucking with my head. My plan wouldn’t remain intact if she kept surprising me at every turn. Like she had when I crawled in beside her. Instead of turning her back to me, she moved my arm and placed her hand over my heart. Her finger touched my chin causing me to turn and look at her. She touched her nose with mine and moved it back and forth just like we used to do. I couldn’t not return the gesture. So simply. So sweet. So in tune to the way we used to be. I almost forgot in that simple instance that we were Ainsleigh and Gentry, together and in love. She placed a light kiss to the tip of my nose before she rested her head on my shoulder. Her arm was thrown across my abs, and I talked myself down from reacting to the closeness of her body.
“Sweet dreams, Gentry,” she whispered with a yawn.
The horse making a sound brought me to the here and now.
Her friends would be arriving in a few hours. I wanted to ask about her and Dylan. I wanted to know about their “friendship,” but in a sense, I didn’t want to ask. If she told me they were more than just friends, I’d lose it. My plan would be thrown out the window, and I’d have to play my cards earlier than I thought.
She asked me this morning if there were any barn parties tonight that I knew of. I’d have loved to spend the night with her in my arms again. I’d have loved to have lied. But I knew she’d just ask her brothers and they’d confess. Instead, I told her of the only one I knew of a few miles down the road. It looked like I wasn’t getting my relaxing Friday night in. There was no way in hell I’d allow her to go there alone so the hounds could descend. I had to go and protect my girl.
Her brothers roped her into helping them with the next tour, so she didn’t get to go pick up her friends from the airport. Her mother assured her that she’d get them, which I could tell frustrated her, but getting on her horse would help her more than she realized. While she was gone, Sparkle wouldn’t let anyone ride her except for me. When anyone tried, she wouldn’t let them even come close. Somehow, someway, I’d convinced her to allow me to ride her. I knew that Ainsleigh and that horse would help each other and when her brothers told me of their plan, I’d helped them succeed in getting her there.
Just when I was washing up for the afternoon, I’d heard her laughter come around the corner of the barn.
“Whoa there, pretty girl,” Ainsleigh said to the horse as she pulled on her reins to get her to slow down.
Once the horse came to a halt, she patted her on the side and hopped off her.
Damn if she didn’t look amazing in the tight jeans and boots she wore. The tank top that she had on did little to hide the cleavage beneath.
Calm down, Gentry.
I repeated that mantra before I embarrassed myself.
“Are they here yet?” she asked in excitement.
“Your mother should be here in a few minutes depending on traffic. She should be arriving just as you get her brushed down and put up for the night. Make sure she’s got plenty of water. I’m sure you rode her hard today,” I told her. Only wishing she’d be the one riding me hard later.
“Sir, yes sir,” she said, saluting me and leading the horse inside the stable.
I pulled the towel off my shoulder that I’d just used to dry off my hands and rolled it up before I swung it at her, hitting her on her perfectly shaped ass.
“Ouch, you asshole. You’re lucky I’m in a hurry, or I’d come after your ass.”
“Sure you would, darlin’. Just remember, I’m not scared of you.”
I did a few things around the stable waiting for her to exit.
Within minutes, she came skipping out the door, pulling it shut behind her.
“Someone’s chipper today,” I said as we walked toward the house.
“I sure am. I can’t wait to see Dylan and Aspen.”
I couldn’t wait to see them either. I needed to size Dylan up and at some point, pull him to the side so we could have a chat. Man to man.
We walked through the door just as I heard car doors shut outside. She moved faster than I’d ever seen her move toward the front door. Quickly, I followed behind her.
I walked into the living room just in time to see her jump into the arms of another man. He held onto her tight, spinning her around. I hadn’t missed that his hands held her underneath her ass to keep her from falling. A low growl escaped my lips as I leaned against the wall for support. I hated seeing how excited she was to see him. Especially when she hadn't had that reaction to seeing me.
“I’m so glad you guys are here,” she said as she pulled away from hugging Dylan. Her arms were still wrapped around his neck as she took in the sight of him. She’d just seen him two days ago. They couldn’t have missed each other that much. Or could they?
He placed her on the floor, letting Aspen come up to give her a hug of her own.
“I love you and all, Leigh, but you smell like a horse,” Dylan said.
He loved her.
Taking a deep breath, I controlled the rage building inside of me.
Not on my watch.
He wasn’t taking my girl from me.
Not ever.
“I just came in from giving a riding tour. I was just about to shower. Let me show you to your rooms and I’ll get the stench off me,” she replied as she pulled them toward the stairs after they picked up the bags they’d dropped on the floor.
“I’m glad to see her so happy. You need to calm down, son. I’m sure it’s not what it seems. She’s never let on that they were more than just friends.”
“I don’t have a clue what you’re referring to. This is me. Calm and all.”
Lying to her wasn’t the best choice I could’ve made, but it was all I could come up with at the time.
“Sure you are. Let her explain before you jump the gun,” her mother warned.
I wasn’t sure I could do that.
Not seeing her reaction to him.
Not seeing the way he touched her just now. However innocent it may have been. No man needed to have their hands on Ainsleigh’s ass. And what was up with him calling her Leigh?
I shook my head as I walked through the kitchen and out the backdoor so I could get a shower of my own. Tonight was fend for yourself night in the Courtright house, so I’d just make myself a sandwich later before we headed out.
A couple of hours later, I was relaxing in the den with her father drinking a beer when I heard her and her friends come down the stairs.
She led the way with her friends following closely behind her.
I took in the sight of her and immediately went on alert.
Hell to the motherfucking no.
She had on a tank top that was skin tight and covered with jewels at the top and shorts so short the pocket hung out beneath the bottom. Paired with her cowboy boots she looked like pure sin. Pure perfection.
“You’re not wearing that. No way. No how,” I said as I stood and stalked over to where she stood behind the couch.
“You’re not the boss of me, Gentry. I’m a grown ass woman and can wear what I want. Tell him, Daddy,” she shouted as she stomped her foot for dramatic affect.
“I’m not in this argument. I’m going to find your mother so we can spend some time cuddling together outside by the fire pit. You two can work this out amongst yourselves,” Sawyer said as he stood and finished off his bottle of beer.
Smart man.
Apparently, I needed to take a page or two out of his book in learning how to handle women.
“Hey, man. I’m Dylan, and this is Aspen. We didn’t get a chance to introduce ourselves earlier,” Dylan spoke with an outstretched hand.
I shook his hand with a firmer grip than I needed to, but he didn’t even flinch.
“Are y’all ready to go? I need a drink,” Ainsleigh spoke as she turned on her heel to walk away from the room and from me.
I grabbed her by the elbow to stop her from moving. Coming up closely behind her, I moved her hair away from her ear, leaned down, and said softly so the others couldn’t hear, “Stay close to me tonight. I don’t need to get in a fight since you’re hellbent on looking the way you do.”
Again, I was playing with fire, but I didn’t care.
“I don’t need your protection, Gentry. I’m a big girl. I can take care of myself,” she said as she pulled her arm from my grasp and walked away.
She jumped into her Jeep with her friends following suit.
I got in my truck and pulled out in front of her so she could follow me to the party.
A few minutes later, we pulled down the dirt road that led to the barn. It was off the beaten path. The kid whose parents owned the property built the space so he and his friends could have a safe place to go and have fun. There were beds inside upstairs if anyone needed to crash so they didn’t have to drink and drive. I had the one and only beer I was having for the night with her father. There were bottles of water that I’d stashed in the floorboard earlier tonight that I could drink to stay hydrated.
The sound of music filled the night sky as we parked and exited our vehicles. Ainsleigh grabbed her friends, one on each side of her, and didn’t wait for me to follow.
If she wanted to play it that way, fine. I’d give her the moment to be mad. But not much longer than that.
Entering the barn, she walked over to the table where they were handing out Jello shots, grabbed two for her friends and two for herself. She hadn't been a big drinker before she left, only trying it out once and deciding that she didn’t like the way she felt afterward. That changed while she was gone. She used her tongue with expert precision to get the Jello out of the cup before she downed the contents. And damn if it wasn’t the sexiest thing I’d ever seen. So sexy that I had to adjust myself from the sight.
People were scattered throughout the space. Some I knew. Most I didn’t.
The ones that I did know noticed Ainsleigh the moment she walked in. They all flocked to her, giving her hugs to welcome her home. Her parents asked for my help in inviting people that she knew from school to her graduation party. Those that were hugging her were some amongst the list of invites that were sent out.
A couple of hours had gone by, and she threw back more drinks than I could count. Currently she walked toward the makeshift dancefloor in the middle of the room with Dylan following behind her.
I pushed myself off the wall that where I’d stood most of the night and walked toward them. If he crossed the line, I’d be right there.
They started off slow, getting used to the beat of the music, before she turned and leaned her back toward his front.
Grinding my teeth, I watched the scene unfold before me. Soon after, they were grinding into each other in a way that should have been illegal for the public eye.
One of the girls we knew from school walked up to me and started saying something, but I didn’t hear a word. My eyes were fixated on the way she danced with him. The way she should’ve been dancing with only me.
I pushed past the girl, I didn’t even remember her name at this point. My sights were set on ripping the two of them apart and getting her home before I did something else I’d regret.
Reaching them, I unclipped the key ring from her belt loop and tossed the keys at Dylan.
“You okay to get her Jeep to the house?”
“Yeah, man, why?” he asked, completely oblivious to my intention.
“Because I’m getting her out of here,” I said before I threw her over my shoulder and walked toward the door.
“Put me down this instant, Gentry,” she screamed as she beat her fists into my ass. Not on my life was I letting her go.
I placed her into the seat of my pickup truck, locking the door so she couldn’t exit too quickly, and ran around to my side.
“How dare you do that to me in front of everyone,” she screamed.
“It was for your own damn good.”
Without saying anything else, I started the truck and headed to her house.
I pulled into the driveway and took a chance at glancing over at her. Her arms were crossed over her breasts as she looked angrily out the window. She’d get over it.
I parked, and she struggled to break free of the confines of the vehicle.
Running around the side of the truck, I used my key to unlock the door and opened it so she could get out.
She stumbled out and walked on unsteady legs away from me. I only made my next move for her safety. Or that’s what I told myself. Picking her up yet again and throwing her over my shoulder, I walked toward the stable that I was hellbent on having her sleep at tonight.
“Not this again,” she mumbled behind me. This time she didn’t struggle. I knew that meant she was plotting against me. But I’d be ready for whatever she threw my way.
Damn her for getting drunk.
I had to up my game plan.
She threw the wrench, but I was more than ready to improvise to get her to see things my way.
I put her down as soon as I made my way up the stairs and shut the door behind us.
And waited for her reaction to come.
Sure enough her hand met my face with a sting behind the hit she’d just threw my way.
“How dare you. Who do you think you are?”
She turned away from me, and I made my move. A move I should’ve waited to make.
I stalked up behind her and turned her around to face me, more forcefully than I should have.
I held her arms in each of my hands so she had no other choice but to hear the words I was about to say.
“I’m the man who fucking loves you. I’m the man who’s there to protect you whether you like it or not,” I said while looking into her eyes.
Without thinking, I framed her cheeks with my hands and pulled her face toward mine. My lips met hers with such force, I’d known they be bruised in the morning. She fought me. Only for a brief moment before she gave in to what I was offering.
Grabbing her under her ass, I lifted her into my arms. Her legs went around my waist, gripping me to a point of pain. A pain that egged me on and caused me to kiss her more fiercely than I ever had before. I walked us toward the bed, dropping her down onto the mattress once I felt my knees hit the side. I took in the disheveled sight of her. Damn, she was a sight to see. A sight for my eyes only.
My eyes trailed down her body until they reached the worn brown boots. I pulled them off, tossing them across the room. I pulled my shirt over my head and tossed it in the same direction. My hands trailed up her legs until they reached the bottom of her shorts. The denim that caused my mind to have dangerous thoughts. Hastily, I unbuttoned them and pulled them off her. I had half a mind to destroy them.
“You have no idea what you do to me, do you? What you still fucking do to me,” I growled as I leaned down and kissed the side of her hip that was exposed. A spot I knew was her weakness. She writhed beneath me as I continued to use my mouth to torture her. Ever so slowly, I dragged my tongue across her flat stomach and down to the center of her legs. Taking in a breath, I smelled how aroused she was.
Reaching my hand around to where her delicate black panties were, I pulled and ripped them away from her. I need to be inside of her. Right fucking now. I couldn’t take it anymore. Seeing her lay in front of me, looking so damn sexy, caused the cave man in me to come out.
“Are you ready, beautiful?” I asked as I rid my body of my boxers and pants, finally laying on top of the woman my mind wouldn’t let me forget.
Without waiting for a response, I entered her in one swift move.
“Co…”
She tried to say something, but my mouth landing on hers stopped whatever she was about to say. My tongue traced her lip, waiting for the entry I sought. An entry she gladly allowed.
I’d yet to move. I knew the second I did it’d be over before it even began. I just laid there, enjoying the feel of her mouth on mine. She clawed at my back and moved her hips, silently begging for me to give her what she craved.
“Just fuck me already, Gentry,” she begged when she finally broke free of my mouth.
“Never. I’ll never just fuck you. No matter how hard I pound you into this bed, I’ll never simply be fucking you. I’ll be making love to you, each and every time,” I replied as I finally began to move with a force that I didn’t even know I possessed. A force that I swore would break the frame of the bed. I gave her what she wanted. What we both needed.
When she shattered around me, I soon followed, releasing as deep inside of her as I could go.
I didn’t want to, but I knew I had to pull out of her sooner or later and face the consequences of what we’d just done. She could hate me. She could pull away from me even more. And it’d be my own damn fault.
Pulling away and out of her, I looked down at Ainsleigh who’d turned her head to the side. Mascara ran down the sides of her face as she tried to hide her tears.
What the hell had I just done?
“Ainsleigh, baby. What’s the matter? Was I too rough?” I asked, concerned for what was going through her mind.
“I need to go to the restroom,” was all she said before she got out of the bed and went into the other room.
I reached beside the bed and pulled on my boxer briefs and waited for what seemed like an eternity before she returned.
She came out of the room dressed in only one of my flannels that I’d left in there.
Slowly, she walked across the room and climbed into the bed beside me.
She laid in my arms and sobbed. So hard I didn’t know what else to do. So I held her and let her work through her emotions.
“Please tell me what’s wrong, sweetheart, so I can fix it,” I pleaded as I ran my fingers through her long blonde locks.
Moments passed and her sobs slowly subsided. She pulled away, wiping her face on the sleeve of my shirt before she sat up facing me.
“You still love me?” she whispered.
“Of course I do, sweetheart. I never stopped loving you,” I replied as I sat up and attempted to pull her into me.
She shook her head and held her hand to my chest to stop me. I knew something big was coming. I should’ve suspected it. But what came out I never expected to hear.
“You shouldn’t love me. Half of the time, I don’t even love me,” she confessed. I hoped this was the alcohol talking.
“Why would you say that?”
“Because I left you here all alone to deal with losing her,” she replied as she scooted toward the end of the bed and stood. I slid to the edge of the bed waiting with baited breath for her to continue.
The pain etched in her features made me want to go to her, but whatever she needed to say, I knew she needed to get out. She’d held it in for far too long.
“You did what you had to do at the time. I don’t blame you at all anymore,” I replied.
“But you should blame me. It’s all my damn fault. Don’t you see. It’s my fault she died. I’m the one who fucking killed her,” she screamed at me, throwing her arms up in the air. She couldn’t have been more wrong if she tried. Didn’t she know that nothing she did could’ve prevented what happened. It was just one of those things that happened.
I couldn’t take it anymore. I pulled her into my chest and held on to her for dear life. If it was the last thing I did, I’d make her see that it wasn’t her fault. Telling her would accomplish nothing. I’d have to prove it to her. Someway. Somehow.
“I know you don’t want me to, but I can’t stop loving you. The thought never occurred to me to even try. Do you hear me, Ainsleigh? I fucking love you so much it hurts,” I said as I hugged her even tighter.
“But loving me shouldn’t hurt. Don’t you see? I’m toxic to you. Your parents knew it. You should’ve just listened. If you had, I wouldn’t have caused you so much pain in the end,” she said as I felt more tears fall.
Her body finally gave out, and she fell to the floor. I followed her, refusing to let her go. Refusing to let her move her pain inwardly yet again. Now that she’d gotten some of it out, I was more determined to get to the bottom of the rest of it so she could finally come back to me.
“You’re not toxic for me. You’re perfect for me. I’ll make you see. I don’t care how long it takes, Ainsleigh, one day you’ll see just how much I love you,” I replied as I pulled her into my lap so we’d both be more comfortable.
I didn’t know how much time passed. My legs tingled in protest of the weight of her body, but I didn’t move. I remained rooted to the spot in the floor and continued to soothingly rock her until she finally fell asleep in my arms.
I hated seeing her in so much pain, but she needed to get to this point.
Awkwardly, I found a way to get us both off the floor and put her in the bed. After turning out the lights, I walked over to the bed and climbed in behind her.
I kissed the back of her head and whispered, “I love you, my beautiful girl,” before I laid my head on the pillow.
To my surprise, she rolled over, seeking me out and mumbled, “I love you too, Gentry. Even though I shouldn’t.”
The hell she shouldn’t.
She’d see eventually. That she was made for me, and I was made for her.